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Vanilla Lady Loves Chocolate
 


I had my first interracial encounter in the 70s. My husband is highly supportive of my activities. I like to go out on dates as well as spend evenings with my guys in the comfort of our own home.... and sometimes theirs.

Love seeing comments about our blog entries also. And, don't forget to add your votes to the various polls we have.

My husband [ who is straight ] does most of the posting here and you will find a lot of tips about improving your chances of meeting us here as well as all kinds of stories from our past and new things we decide to write about that are happening.



Enjoy!

Some blog entries that will help you when contacting me.

Tips on making it happen
Carol39s interest in Interracial
Members who are not real or sincere
The Perfect Date

And also... recently went CRAZY and posted a whole set of tips about meeting and getting with Carol. Hope you have some time to spend reading them. They are: One on One Play, Overnights, I promice, I won't cum in your mouth, Kiss me Baby, Bareback, I need to be descreet because I'm married, I'm white do I have a chance, Becoming a regular, and Being persistant and patient

Polls - We have several polls in our blog, be sure and cast your vote:
How far would you drive
Another preference question
Are you into Interracial
How important is fucking on the first date
What's with all the polls
Just for fun poll
Did you ever
Long term relationship
Which is more exciting for you\8b

Since standard members can't see my profile, I have included it within my blog.

My profile
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
What did you like?
Posted:Oct 30, 2008 3:02 am
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2010 6:58 am
3875 Views

We've heard a lot of positive comments about our blog entries.

Tell us which one you liked BEST and why in a comment attached to this posting.
4 Comments
Being persistant and patient
Posted:Oct 25, 2008 5:23 am
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2009 7:21 am
4900 Views
Damn, I really got on a tear this morning with all these tips and relections. One final one...

Guys that want to get with Carol... the MAIN tip I can offer is to be persistant and patient. She has a lot of guys trying to meet for the first time and a growing number of guys loking for their second (or 17th) encounter with her.

If you want Carol... your odds are HUGELY high that you can get her but you have to drive the connection.

Don't expect to set around and wait for her to call you. Frankly, she gets so many calls that after just one... if you don't chat with her again soon after... her memories of the first call will be blurred if not totally forgotten.

When you talk to her on the phone... focus on getting to know each other. Be honest and up front about your situation and if there is 'chemistry', then it becomes more about TIMING than anything else. She RARELY makes plans anymore further out that perhaps 48 hours.

ALWAYS have a plan... when you call, spend a few moments getting her back to where you left off after your last conversation and then suggest a specific date and time. Your better of suggesting "Let's meet tonight at 7PM" then asking her when SHE is available. If possible, she will meet or suggest an alternative date/time but sometimes work sheduling, prior commitments, health issues make that impossible so the most you can get is a 'suggestion' to call her in a few days. ALWAYS DO MAKE THAT CALL! But, understand also that even though she suggested you call a week from yesterday... when she does this, she is simply saying I can't commit right now and it is highly possible that even if you do call, she will have lost the memory that she suggested it. Make sure you remind her that she told you to call and this will typically make her feel a little guilty about forgetting and she will try harder to work you in short term... like the next day or so.

More on having a plan... she has become somewhat disillusioned as far as guys calling her and asking her out on a 'date'. Your better off suggesting that on that first meet... that you come to meet both of us... spend some time chatting... and THEN go out for the evening somewhere. Then, she will only be looking at it from the point of view of your coming over and although she will probably end up fucking you... that is all there is to the plan. And, chances are... if you just come over to meet and do fuck... you will get a real STAR besides your name if AFTER fucking her... you still take her out for non-bed-based experiences. But... if you simply suggest meeting us both, then having a date (just the two of you), you will get her interest up a bit more in meeting at all.

Also... just make the commitment that your going to call at least about once every three days even if it just to chat. As mentioned, her schedule is somewhat full but the more you talk to her and the more frequently you talk to her... the more likely your timing will be right and it will happen.

That's not to say you can't call and hit it lucky the first time. So, even on that first call... have a plan. Suggest a date/time... suggest going at later for dinner or drinks or dancing... and most importantly NEVER suggest a date/time where you end up having to cancel. Guys who make plans and then cancel really tend to end up on the bottom of her list of 'to-dos'.
0 Comments
Becoming a regular
Posted:Oct 25, 2008 5:00 am
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2009 7:09 am
5064 Views
Historcially, Carol has been more interested in the old phlosophy of Find'em, fuck'em, and forget'em.

But, this has changed SIGNIFICANTLY in the last few years.

These days, she is far more interested in guys who are single (the reliability factor) and are nearby (ease of meeting and also reliability).

She is MUCH more interested in developing on-going relationships where her guys are comfortable with her situations, are content to be 'friends' as well as 'lovers', and who are comfortable just setting around chilling with the both of us.

She has changed her point of view about 'strange being more exciting' in favor of 'familiarity brings more comfort and pleasure'.

She currently has one somewhat long term relationship with a man whom she has been with about 15 times (over about 3 years) or more and another who has been with her at least a dozen times.

As far as 'how regular'... no one has ever achieved MONTHLY on average let alone WEEKLY.

Interestingly enough, a recent contactee happens to fit all the required specifications for a regular (close by... in fact 4 blocks away. Single, able to entertain at home, etc). She hasn't even met him yet so don't have any idea whether it will be a one time thing or what.

Sooner or later... especially since we get older every single day... I suspect that she will move more into having just a small circle of friends and it isn't totally impossible that she may someday limit her activities to a single guy and get with him at least weekly.

Frankly, I find the idea of a real 'boyfriend' (or even second husband) to be somewhat facinating as to how it might play out. Typically, Carol gets so many contacts that there isn't room in the schedule for even an average of monthly. The one thing this leads to is the fact that she doesn't feel urges of her own to be with a particular guy. If someone DID become VERY regular, it would be interesting to see if she becomes less 'passive' about who she is with and starts doing something that at the most now is... making the comment that she hasn't been with such and such for a long time and she feels obligated to get him back into the mix. Frankly, I'd love to see her excited enough about a given individual where she openly pursues additional encounters with him.

I;m sure some people who read this blog think that this is insane and that this will lead to me losing her. Well, we;ve been in this lifestyle since the mid-70s off an on, with playing years accounting for about half that time period. We took breaks from the lifestyle to have and raise together and after all these years... our relationship is more BEST FRIENDS than anything and regarless of how much fun she has with someone... this is something we share even when I'm not there to see it happen.

Also, at our age and with our lifestyle experiences... and the openess in which we allow this party stuff to go on... there simply isn't a NEED for her to go elsewhere. What would she gain? Nothing! If she liked a man THAT MUCH... hell, he could just move in and we'd become an extended family. And, a point of fact... if the man wasn't totally comfortable with that kind of releationship... he'd never get to that point anyway.

Now, when Carol has made plans... she typically is pretty nonchalant about it and only really even starts looking forward to it when she starts getting showered and dressed and putting on her makeup. It NEVER happens that she is setting around watching TV and being 'thoughtful' and I ask...'What you thinking about' and her answer being 'Oh, was just wondering what BOB was doing... wondering if he like to get together'.

Frankly, I'd love it if she did because a MAJOR portion of my enjoyment about this is to see her 'motivated' and having a good time. Otherwise, there is always this fear in the back of my head that she does this more to please me than herself. And, up until the moment she is actually with a man who is likely going to have sex with her... it is more about her doing this for me than for herself. But, once she gets turned on a titulated... it is definitely about her pleasure.
0 Comments
I'm white... do I have a chance?
Posted:Oct 25, 2008 4:28 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2011 8:48 pm
4719 Views
Basically... NO. But not 100% impossible!

There are several points I want to make here that relate to the subject of Carol having an encounter with someone who is white.

1) It isn't skin color that is the primary motivation... it is personality and how she connects with you first on the phone and then subsequently in person.

2) However, the most important factor is scheduling. Carol plays an average of once a week. Work schedules, health issues (she is diabetic), and existing 'friends with benefits' control her availability.

3) Given her availability to meet and play, she usually goes with her preferences. It's like when you go out to dinner... you usually pick a favorite resturant and usually order the same dish. You do this because you are more confident that you won't be disapointed and also because going out to a resturant for dinner is simply something you can't do EVERY DAY. If her schedule (and desires) permitted much more opportunities for her to play, then she would be more likely to try a 'different' resturant or even choose somethinfg different from the menu.

4) More on preferences... at this point in her life, she has been with more black men than white. And, in recent years... virtually exclusive with black men. She has reached a point where she states herself that she is simply more comfortable in the arms of a black man than a white man.

5) Sometime ago, I noticed that whenever we happen to be setting around the house and she happens to make a comment on how handsome a man is or how pretty a lady is... it ALWAYS was also true that the person was black. So, it definitely isn't the taboo breaking that excites her. She is physically attracted to black men. I have no doubts that were I to kill myself in a car accident, that if she re-married... it would be an interracial marriage. But, I have no plans on running off the road anytime soon.

6) The way black men treat white ladies... it is a definite fact that on average, black men put the lady's pleasure before there own. Not sure is black women feel the same way about how black men treat them.. frankly, I've heard that one of the reasons black ladies like white guys is that they tend to do the same thing... make them feel as if it is all about THEM as opposed to the man's pleasures.

7) Stamina and size... again, this tends to favor the black men on average. She is definitely NOT a size queen and if you are too large... she is uncomfortable especially if the man doesn't put in enough warm-up time and take it slow and easy to start.

Skin color, skin textures... yes, there is a certain amount of pleasure in the contrast. One of the things that has really changed with Carol over the years is her level of enjoyment in holding a man's penis and giving him a massage. When the man is black, it really ADDS to her pleasure in being with him.

9) Taboo breaking... definitely not at the top of her list of turn-ons but obviously it adds a certain additional level of excitement. One thing I have noticed of late is that historically... Carol was VERY concerned about being seen 'in the company' of a black man. This was especially true here in our local town where the likelyhood of running into an aquaintance was higher. So, most often, if she accepted a 'public' date with someone... she at least made it for Greensboro or Raleigh instead of here in Burlington. But, this seems to be changing significantly. But, it is still true however, that if you want to have PDA (public displays of affection)... your better off taking her out of town.

10) Acceptance... this is an interesting topic and one that really surprised us. It seems as though quite often, a black man is far more comfortable with the idea that she is married. Read our blog entry about 'Klaus'. Sometimes, Carol goes out to a local nightclub and 'pretends' to be alone and allows guys to try to pick her up. Usually, I'm somewhere in the club enjoying the show from a distance and we exchange text messages to each other during the course of the evening to let each other know what is happening when she spends ome time chatting with a guy who has approached her. Just an FYI on this... to avoid a repeat of the 'Klaus' story... our 'method' when she is out like this (we call it hunting in the wild)... she makes the decision on the spot whether she tells the man whether she is married, where I am, that we have an 'open relationship', whether she brings him over to meet etc. If she thinks this would be too much for the guy... she will simply go 'solo' and just make it a one night stand.

So, in conclusion... if you are WHITE... if your profile or your email message hits me in the right mood... I will inform Carol about it. 9 times out of 10, she won't be interested in pursuing the idea. You're probably FAR more likely to hook up with her under one of these 3 situations:

1) It is at a party where you can get 'face time' with her.
2) You happen to meet her on some night when she is out at the club and again, have the chance of spending some time chatting and flirting.
3) The most likely... if you are part of a couple. She sometimes meets couples for MF/MF encounters. She has a couple of her black male friends who are 'authorized' to be her 'play' partner when meeting a couple. So, if you are a white male... and especially if your partner is white and she is into black men also... go ahead and contact us and suggest a 'couples' encounter.
0 Comments , 1 Pending
I need to be descreet because I'm married.
Posted:Oct 25, 2008 3:50 am
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2013 2:17 am
4813 Views

Does being married destroy your chances of being with Carol? No... it doesn't... however... she prefers single guys simply because they are more reliable when scheduling a meeting. Wives and girl friends often inadvertentaly make demands on the man's time and at the last minute and this leads to no-shows.

Also, she doesn't really LIKE the idea of letting a man CHEAT on his woman. But, she realizes that it is BETTER for a married man to be with a woman like Carol simply because she isn't out there to steal him away from his wife.

And, there is always the concern that the man will be careless and get caught! That has definitely happened and we have gotten a couple of phone calls from irate (or worse... CRUSHED) women wanting to know why he has her number on his cell phone. And, worse still... the woman following her husband and showing up at the door... with her shotgun!

One of the benefits of being in the lifestyle as a 'couple' is that WE DON'T CHEAT ON EACH OTHER. We understand that sex can be simply recreational and if everyone is on the same page, then it is just a way of having fun and getting to know someone better. It doesn't need to have ANY effect upon how a man feels about his wife. We think it is the most stupid thing in the world for a couple to get into an argument and even split up just because somebody fucked someone else.
1 comment
Bareback?
Posted:Oct 25, 2008 3:38 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:03 pm
5474 Views

This is another question I get asked frequently during Yahoo chats and in email exchanges. Will she go bareback?

Well, the bottom line on this is YES. She PREFERS condoms however the plain truth is she LIKES bareback better. She enyoys the sensation of having a man cum inside her.

She often answers the question when asked that she does use them, especially when she first meets someone. We often hear the same comments from guys. Personally, I think it is kind of silly to be restrictive initially and then to allow un-protected sex later on. In her mind, I'm sure she is looking at it from the point of view that the longer she knows about the man, the better she knows his habits. Does he engage in bi-sexual activities? Is he getting laid everynight of the week with a different person everynight? If none of these apply, she becomes more willing to go bare.

We've also had men who once they find out she goes bare 'ever'... lose their interest. Well, that's fine also... she is 'out-numbered' anyway and if you feel some higher sence of safety being only with women who are adament about use of condoms... no problem.

She is diabetic and is constantly being checked medically. My advice is, that if YOU prefer condoms.. bring one (or three). You will probably make a better impression on her if you do put safety first. But, on the other hand... if you like that skin on skin contact and like to make that 'deposit'... just go for it. If she is in the right mood... and likes you enough... it isn't a problem.
3 Comments
Kiss me Baby!
Posted:Oct 25, 2008 3:26 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:58 pm
4551 Views
It is not uncommon that couples when they initially get into the lifestyle, get together and discuss what is allowed and what isn't. We certainly did and continue to habe this discussion now and then even though we have been in the lifestyle for many years.

It is ironic that one of the most common taboos is the act of kissing. Despite the fact that your in bed FUCKING... and have just done 69 to start things off... Kissing is often considered TOO initimate an activity and lifestylers frequently reserve that activity to only when they are with each other.

It's also not uncommon for working girls to have the same attitude about kissing their Johns.

I guess it has to do with keeping something 'sacred'... I know that Carol and I had that discussion and we felt that it was somehow off-limits to kiss our bed-partners. It's a decision that I wish we hadn't made.

The lips are biologically configured to provide excitement that is meant to be the prelude to intercourse. Sex after heavy kissing is ALWAYS more enjoyable.

With Carol, she got so out of the habit of kissing her partners that now it is difficult for her to change so one thing I want to encourage the guys who meet her to do is to spend serious time kissing her before you let things go further. But, I want to also warn you about how Carol looks at kissing. If you start off by shoving your tongue down her throat, she will definitely back off. She says... the lips are like the pussy... they need to be warmed up before penetration. You need to start with just minimal 'pecks'... let these lead to more initimate pressing of the lips between you. In fact, let her lead the way to open mouth kissing. One of her most pleasent experiences in the lifestyle was one where we met a guy and she say with him... it was a public place but in a very private area of that place... and they started kissing. She spent nearly an hour making out with him like a couple of teenagers in the backseat of the car.

Kissing on the ear and neck and sholders is also quite stimulating for her and she is far more willing to let this happen however if you REALLY want her to get the most out of your encounter with her... control the situation and start REAL kisses slowly and keep that up for as long as you can.
0 Comments
I promice, I won't cum in your mouth...
Posted:Oct 25, 2008 2:58 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2012 9:11 am
6833 Views
...\8

I guess this is ALMOST as famous a saying as is "The check is in the mail!".

Occasionally, we get a question about whether she swallows. I've been wanting to create a blog entry on this subject for sometime and it's just after 5AM in the morning and I'm starting to drink my second cup of coffee so why not write it now!

First off, the answer to the question is YES... she swallows. However, I wanted to add some serious clarifications to this. Taking a guy orally is not one of her favorite things to do... in fact, for most of her life... she has been somewhat phobic about it. However, of late... this is something she wants to make LESS of an issue. In fact, the last few times she has been with someone, she has openly invited them to do that.

I have my own story to interject here... many years ago, Carol and I were at a bowling alley and I got a call on our cell phone from a lady. Although she was married, her husband was out somewhere for the evening and she invited me over. So, after dropping Carol off at home, I went over to meet her. We set around and chatted a little, started kissing and groping and before I knew it, she was sucking me off.

I reached a point where my groin muscles ached to start thrusting and I wanted to fuck so badly that I asked her if we could switch over to that but she was totally insistant that I relax, set back, and let her blow me and I was to cum in her mouth. To be honest, I was initially disappointed. She was still dressed, I wanted to see her naked body and the urge to 'fuck' was very strong. But this was DEFINITELY... HER PARTY... and she was doing what SHE wanted to do.

Afterward, we were still setting there chatting and her husband came home. This was kind of a first for me... although Carol and I had met many couples together by then, me doing a solo was a bit unusual and then for the husband to come home 'after' while I was still there was at first, a bit awkward. However, he was a friendly guy and subsequently Carol and I saw them 'as a couple' several times and I definitely finally got to fuck her.

Anyway, what is funny is... that despite Carol's offer to let them cum in her mouth... she is running into the same desires from the guys... it feels so good that they want to 'get on' and finish in her pussy. The most recent situation was when a guy came over on a Sunday morning. She had been with him before so it wasn't long before she took him upstairs to the bedroom. She was going down on him and told him it was OK to cum in her mouth and he said COOL! But, the URGE to fuck over-powered him and before he came, he laid her back and got on and said 'next time'.

About an hour later.. it was 'next time' again and AGAIN, she started things by going down on him and AGAIN... just before he came, he had to get on top. And, about an hour later... she tried once again to get him off orally only to have him say STOP... let me get on top!

The thing is... Carol can't just go down on someone for long periods of time... her jaw starts acking and this causes her to 'break the rhythm' and this probably delays the man from reaching an orally induced climax which in turn tends to shake her confidence in her ability to get someone off orally.

So, my suggestion is this... if you are with her, if she offers to let you cum in her mouth... DO IT.... whatever it takes. If you need to assist a little by doing some jacking, help her out. The bottom line is, that she has 'just so much' tolerance for 'fucking' in a given period of time and if you want to extend the time you are with her sexually... use BOTH methods to cum with her and the party will last longer.
3 Comments , 1 Pending
Overnights
Posted:Oct 25, 2008 2:25 am
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2009 7:07 am
4348 Views

Guess I'm somewhat contemplative this morning... those of you who are interested in Carol should know by now that this blog contains lots of insights on what is possible and tips on making your meeting with us (and her especially) as good as it can be.

Was thinking about the topic of overnight play.

This is definitely allowed! However, sometimes Carol likes to see them come, and likes to see them go.

A lot of it will depend upon the situation. Her work schedule being the most important consideration. She works in a resturant so every day she has different shift hours and every week she has different days off. Also, the number of hours she has worked recently plays a major factor.

Even if she has a full two days off starting on a Saturday, if she has just worked 6 days straight with the last two days being more than 8 hours... she often won't even schedule a meeting at all... prefering to rest up, get caught up on housework and laundry, etc.

Next week is a very unusual week.. don't think we've ever seen her schedule like this before. She got off work around 4PM yesterday (Friday), goes back in tonight a 5PM till 11PM, off all day Sunday, then Monday through Thursday is is approximately 11 AM till 2:30 PM each day and then Friday, 1:45PM till about 10PM.

So, her ability to meet Sunday afternoon or evening is good and Monday through Thursday late afternoons and evenings are good. And, since she doesn't have to be back in before about 11AM the next day... overnights are possible on those days.

Overnights can either be here at our home or she is OK being at yours or a motel room. But, overnights typically are the exception to the rule. Mostly, she meets and has an encounter and the guy goes home. She is more likely to do the overnight thing if the guy travels some distance or if the hour is late when the playtime starts. She is also possibly more inclined to stay OUT all night but again a lot of it will depend upon the situation.

Other possibilities include having someone come up and spend the whole weekend with us... one advantage of that is that it allows her to work around her work schedule somewhat if the guy is comfortable setting around chilling with the husband during work shift hours. But, weekends are not typical and most likely not going to happen on a 'first date'.

Some final notes on this... if you did spend the night with her, in our home... we have a spare bedroom and she will mention that when the topic comes up. But wanted to clarrify that if you spend the night in our spare room... she will also.
0 Comments
One on One Play
Posted:Oct 25, 2008 2:03 am
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2014 7:09 am
4472 Views
Had an interesting email come in... the gentleman stated "I can't stay away from your wife's profile but I don't think I can handle the husband being around.".

I wanted to offer some clarity on this for those who haven't contacted us yet.

She makes the decisions based on what the man is comfortable with. If he is not comfortable with the husband being there or nearby, no problem. She is ok with coming to your house (distance is an issue of cource) or you can get a motel room.

However, she does PREFER that the husband is present when she first meets someone. It is a safety thing obviously but primarily she wants the man to understand that she IS a married woman, part of a couple, and that this is a shared thing and she tells me all the details afterwards.

Over the last year or so, I'd say more than half of her encounters were one on one. We both get pleasure out of her participation in the lifestyle... but it is simply 'different' pleasures somewhat when I am there and when I am not.

Frankly, I'd suggest trying BOTH ways and then you tell us after what differences you saw.
2 Comments
Saw an intersting email exchange...
Posted:Oct 23, 2008 5:27 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 12:29 am
3300 Views

Saw an intersting email exchange within one of the local Yahoo groups we are members of.

Seems one of the guys was all frustrated about the level of activity within the group and was asking if there are any REAL women out there.

There were some replies... about what you would suspect given the ratios in place on these groups however the conversation got into the concept of ladies wanting MORE than just a fuck. By that, I mean being taken out for an evening, just hanging out together and spending time, etc.

The lady who mentioned this happened to have a Yahoo id that could be pronounced along the lines of slut for Black Dick and one of the guys ponced on her comments saying that maybem she ought to be over at one of the romance and dating sites such as eHarmony and such.

Guys... obviously some of you simply don't get it that women have different agendas and are not turned on simply by the fact that you have a dick! They LOVE being romanced and treated the way they assume you would treat a lady you happened to meet in a non-swinging environment. Comments like "Hey, I'm Bill... when can we fuck?" is NOT going to excite them nor is it going to put you at the top of their list for spending ANY time with.

Carol is the same way... she wants to be 'seduced'! Women are all about romance. Give them a little and they will not only meet, but by being in the 'lifestyle'... fucking is pretty much a non-issue. They will! But, you as the guy need to put seduction into play just to get the meet and then you have to give them the 'foreplay' of being treated like you would a lady NOT in the lifestyle.

You have to spend time either exchanging email messages or chatting on the phone. Let the lady build an interest in YOU because the 'dicks' are quite easy for them to find when that is the top item on their list. Make them want YOU first... make them think YOU are special... make them want to spend TIME with YOU and you'll get your pussy.
0 Comments
Phone is back on...
Posted:Oct 23, 2008 5:11 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 12:29 am
3121 Views

Or will be in about 24 hours. Our will be heading back to the military and no plans for family being home until around Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Love having them home but, hate having to sneak on here to check email messages.

To those who have been waiting for Carol to become available again, please be patient... There is more demand than supply and it is all about timing. If, when you talk to her, she says she wants to meet you, she means it... but WHEN will depend on her work schedule and who calls that is closest enough for her to not have concerns about whether he is for real or just another one of the phantasy flakes that are so prevalent on here.
0 Comments
Testimonial s
Posted:Oct 21, 2008 9:09 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 12:29 am
3124 Views

Got a testimonial today. Love getting them, however... this person has not contacted us so his testimonial will not be made public.

We feel that testimonials probably mean little to most people, after all... unless you know the context upon which the tertimonial, then it is meaningless. But, the profiles that will be allowed are only going to be people who have met us and KNOW what they are talking about. We plan on doing the same when we post a testimonial.
0 Comments

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