OK...Since he wants to play hardball......
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Posted:Jul 31, 2006 7:14 pm
Last Updated:Aug 26, 2006 6:35 pm
3978 Views
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....I WIN!............
I posted this earlier but somehow never showed up so I'll repost it.
This certain member-Looking0100 has been blog stalking women (NOT men) for quite a while now. He comes off as Mr.Goodbar but as soon as any female ignores his posts and/or disagrees with anything he says, he tends to get very evil.
Since he has deleted this post in particular- among other ones- I decided to post this here in my "Home Sweet Home." (MY BLOG) Now, he cannot delete it. Either he deleted it because he's embarrassed to show it and/or he doesnt want everyone to see who he really is and what he's all about. Me? I happen to see right through it and witnessed his terrible behavior myself as reading other members blogs..and friends blogs. He has the same identical M.O each time. Starts of all nice, warm and fuzzy but as soon as he starts to even realize he's being ignored, he freaks out on that woman. He claims to "love" that female. Since when is it love just because some blogger isn't trying to hurt your feelings by replying with just a simple "thanks?" OR~ (dont ever do this w/him,lol-you'll be sorry) IGNORE him? Sucks to be him! No matter what kind of past he has or present he has...it still goes" "NO" means just that: NO!!!! Plain and simple. For some reason, he aint getting it.
I will copy/paste right below this. -His post he deleted with only the first two responses....of course AFTER he already named many more innocent bloggers for BANNING him.
....Stay tuned.............
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Sex Offenders Living in your Community.
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Posted:Jul 30, 2006 8:54 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2006 2:56 pm
3764 Views
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Here we go again.........
Yesterday, I get ANOTHER letter from the town I live in advising all residents about another sexual predator that moved into our community. Mind you, there's one that already lives 2 streets away from me, another one that lives around the corner from us and a few others scattered throughout the area. The area I live in is full of . A few playgrounds and school parks, near schools,etc...
Here's a copy of the letter thats been sent:
Dear residents:
This letter is being sent to notify you of an important,yet highly sensitive subject concerning the safety of our . Under the provisions of NYS Sex Offender Registration Act,also known as "Megans Law," police agencies may release information to school districts about certain registered sex offenders living in the community.
The (_________________________)(towns name not revealed on this site-due to childrens safety.) Police department has notified the school districts that this particular sex offender is now residing in your area. He is classified as a level "3" which means the risk to the community is considered extremely dangerous.
Now, at the bottom of this letter, they show a picture of what he looks like, only the zip code of his address, his D.O.B, race, height,weight, color of eyes/hair, Glasses-No, and ethnic origin-Not Hispanic
....and continued on describing that his "VICTIM" was a 15 yr.old female. 3rd degree !
Considering I have a young age , I need to know more than this...and WHY is he allowed to live so close to a school? and playgrounds? and in a community that this town is very well known to have a large amount of -particularly teenagers- HIS VICTIMS!
Last winter, one of my daughters friends walked home from our house. Unfortunately, she called me not even seconds after she left from her cell phone,crying and very scared! She continued to tell me that someone in a black pick up truck was following her very slowly and she felt like he was watching where she went.I stayed on the phone with her as I told her to come back to the house.As she was doing that, the truck turned around, drove past her slowly and stopped at the corner,just waiting.By that time, I was already outside watching her walk back to my house and saw everything.(I live on a corner lot) I wroye down the ;license plate number and had the plate checked for his address and name,etc...
Come to find out, yep! He was one of the many sexual predators that lived in my area.-also and Level 3. This is the one that lives 2 blocks away from my home.I did contact the police and they proceeded to tell me things that REALLY blew my mind. He's a level 3, he lives with his girlfriend that has 3 teenage daughters.and on parole/probation.
HOW do these predators get away with this crap?
Why would he be allowed to live with a woman that has 3 teenage daughters in the same house?
Why do SCUM like that get the privelege of being around any when they are soooo much danger to any in the community?
I'm scared to let my go anywhere by herself....even if it is just a few blocks away. Its sad that we have to keep our "sheltered" to keep them safe these days.
As old as I may sound, when I was a we never had this to worry about so much!
They should have NO rights at all! ESPECIALLY being around a close knit community! They are scum- pond scum...it makes me sick to even think of the reasoning behind such a sick mind like these predators have. What kind of jolly do they get off of sexually...anything with these ?
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Up against the wall
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Posted:Jul 30, 2006 6:53 am
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2006 1:36 pm
3890 Views
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Don’t ever let anyone tell you that being up against a wall isn’t in their fantasies somewhere. Believe me it’s there. They may not know it, but it’s there. It’s in mine. I’ve always known it.
I’ve never had good experiences with fantasies becoming reality. They always fizzled and I was left with the feeling of disappointment. A hollowness. Here's one of mine.........
I was sitting at the bar, speaking to the woman next to me about nothing in particular, just bar talk, when I felt a tapping on my shoulder. My first reaction was annoyance. Here I was on a Saturday night; not bothering anyone as I sat at the bar, nursing my beer and some jerk-off was tapping me on the shoulder. My beer mug clanked in annoyance onto the battered wood of the bar top and I slowly turned to the owner of the finger, ready to let lose a string of curses.
My eyes connected with his and I suddenly found myself unable to speak. My stomach contracted and a thousand butterflies erupted from their cocoons. A cold shiver slid up my spine, raising the hairs on the back of my neck.
Rich hazel eyes stared back at me, and I felt myself jolt as he stepped forward towards me. One of his hands reached up and gripped my elbow, tugging me off the barstool. An unspoken beckoning to come with him.
And despite that I knew nothing of this man, I tossed a ten onto the bar and let him lead me away. We struggled to make our way through the throng of dancers but the pace was slow going. I could see him growing visibility angry as he fought his way through the crowd. My arm suddenly felt as if it was wrenched from its socket as he growled in frustration and quickly moved to changed direction. He was now heading to the back of the dance floor.
He stopped without warning just as we emerged from the dance floor crowd and yanked my arm, causing me to yelp. I realized I couldn’t stop and was going to slam against the wall face first. I spun quickly just in time for my back to contact sharply with the stone wall as he followed through and pushed me up against it, his body pinning me the wall.
I inhaled sharply as his lips slid almost nonexistently over my right cheek, tickling the sensitive skin there. He dropped his head and kissed my shoulder lightly as he reached down to grasp my wrists.
Raising my arms above me, he pressed his hips against me and I could feel the growing bulge at the front of his leather pants. Pulsating music pierced my eardrums and I struggled to concentrate on where I was. I saw figures bouncing and spinning to the music and the thought never once crossed my mind that someone would see us.
I was too lost to care.
One of his hands dropped from my wrists and disappeared under the hem of my skirt, his fingers grazing lightly over the skin on my upper thigh. I struggled to catch my breath. His chest rumbled with a smooth chuckle when his hand slid even further upward and he discovered only skin and hair.
His gravelly voice rasped out in my ear. "Bad girl, aren’t you?"
I could do no more than nod my head, my throat dry and constricted as one of his fingers gently trailed a line from my lower abdomen on down. His jet black hair tickled across my skin as he lowered his head down and pressed his lips into my neck.
My eyes flew open as his finger slipped between my legs. I noticed a dancer in the crowd staring at us, smiling smugly. Our eyes met and one of her eyebrows raised in the knowledge of just what was happening against this wall. She nodded her head slightly, just enough so that I could see and turned back to her dance partner. The voyeurs’ interest in us had depleted once she knew she had been caught.
I turned my attentions back towards the man pinning me to wall as one of his knees slid between mine and forced them apart. I struggled to maintain my balance as I moved my legs wider to accommodate his other leg. Never did I once think about what I doing with this man.
I refused to think and just act.
His teeth scraped along the skin on my neck and my legs turned to water the instant his teeth sunk into my flesh. His finger withdrew and slid around to cup my ass. Without realizing it, my legs rose and wrapped around his waist, and I lifted my chin slightly as he shifted his head for a better angle on my neck.
A rainbow of strobe lights flash over us as the DJ cranked up the music and the wall behind me vibrated with the pulsing of the music. My vision suddenly grew dark when he raised his head from my neck and did nothing but simply stare at me. Dark, brooding hazel eyes stared back at me, making me feel as if I was trapped in them. It was an escape I never wanted to make.
His mouth crushed down on mine sending my senses exploding in a million different directions at once and I instinctively ground my hips against his. A small grunt of surprise rumbled from his throat and he released my wrists, using only his hips to pin me to the wall.
His hands cupped over my breasts and I could feel the heat radiating from them even through the thick cotton of my t-shirt. I murmured an inaudible protest as one of his hands withdrew from my chest and pushed between us. His other hand slipped down to my waist and he pushed himself back away from me, his hand on my waist our only contact.
I lowered my eyes to where his hand rested on the waistband of his pants. His fingers played with the snap, teasing me with quick glances of his flesh. Heat flooded my skin as he slowly pulled down on the zipper, each tooth on the metal popped like gunshots echoing in my ears. I gasped silently to myself as more skin became visible with each agonizing pull on the zipper.
It seemed like forever before the zipper finally made its way to the seam in his pants, and I was left staring at the entire length of him. Desperate hunger to have him inside of me must have become evident on my face as a sly smile spread across his. The raw hunger visible on his own face.
He stepped forward, releasing his hand from my waist and once again he used his hips to pin me to the wall. Flesh contacted with flesh and I started slightly at the heat erupting between my legs. He roughly pressed his mouth over mine and I felt as if I was being eaten alive. Consumed by a wild, untamable beast. Even with my eyes closed I felt the world tilt and I struggled to maintain my bearings.
He shifted his hips down and back slightly and I heard myself whimper in pleasure as he pressed himself against me. My arousal was so high; he slid inside of me with little resistance. He cupped his hands around to the backs of my upper thighs again and shifted them slightly higher before burying himself inside of me completely.
A loud intense roaring buzzed in my ears as he filled me, making think I would surely burst. He made no effort to move, as if he sensed that I needed time to adjust to his size. I lowered my arms down from above me and slid them over his cotton covered shoulders stopping only when I reached his lower back. I grasped the thin fabric and pulled it slowly from the waistband of his pants. He shivered slightly as my fingers brushed across his bare skin and his hips thrust forward causing me to gasp.
My nails scraped across his skin, urging violence. I needed what was soaking from his skin, what his eyes silently promised when he had stared at me earlier.
Wild, uncontrolled sex.
And I needed it now.
He shifted slightly and withdrew, dropping his head next to mine. I cried out as his teeth sank into my shoulder and thrust forward at the same time, my voice lost in the pounding techno music the DJ has selected.
Within seconds my lower back was beating painfully against the stone wall behind me. His teeth grazed up my neck and he shifted my legs higher again, allowing himself deeper access. The need to mindlessly mate devoured us both. A raging beast inside of us, fighting and tearing for release.
My vision exploded into a thousand lights, then plunged into pitch blackness as every muscle in my body contracted painfully at once. Muscles deep inside of me, that I never knew existed, clenched tightly around him and I heard a low groan in my ear.
The world shattered.
My body went rigid as the climax ignited deep inside of me, a torrent of shockwaves overrunning my system so powerfully that I could barely breathe. I was dimly aware of his continuing movements; the powerful strokes making me feel as if he was going to pound me into the wall.
Despite my head screaming I could no longer go on, my body refused to listen and my fingernails dug into the flesh on his lower back, demanding, pushing him to continue. He raised his head and I could see his eyes were darker, his control slipping. I raised one of my hands from his back to slip up through his thick, black hair and pulled his face roughly towards mine.
Our mouths and tongues met and I was slammed against the wall, his hand sliding from my thigh to slap against the wall for support. Strong, pulsating flesh against flesh caused my body to defy my brain again and I crashed over the edge one last time. He broke the kiss and buried his head back into my shoulder and he thrust upward one last time.
A loud pounding in my ears brought me back slowly to myself. I realized that it was my heart hammering against my chest at a rapid pace. Swallowing slowly, I struggled to regain my breath. My entire body tingled as the feeling of being well used made me smile.
He dropped his other hand from my thigh and pressed it against the wall, using it to lever himself slowly away from me, withdrawing himself. I dropped my legs back to the ground and quickly slid my skirt back down to cover myself.
Modesty was a little late at this point though; I thought to myself and smiled wider. Despite the fact that I had just came more than I ever had in my life, I felt that I desperately needed this man again.
And soon.
I tugged slightly on my lip with my teeth as I watched him refasten his pants. My intentions must have read clearly on my face because he raised one eyebrow and smiled wickedly. My knees turned to water when I saw the hunger still in his eyes as well. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him and his lips lightly grazed over my ear as he spoke.
Despite the loud noise in the club, I heard every word he uttered. I staggered slightly and he tugged at my waist, guiding me out of the club.
Whispered words echoed in my head, never to be forgotten.
"I’m not done with you yet."
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Different Asses~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Posted:Jul 28, 2006 7:19 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2006 5:39 am
3865 Views
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Need to describe your ass or someone else's over the Internet but want it to be visual? Well, how about some "assicons"? Here goes:
(_!_) A regular ass
(__!__) A fat ass
(__)(__) A "wide load" ass
(!) A tight ass
(_*_) A sore ass
{_!_} A swishy ass
(_o_) An ass that's been around
(_x_) Kiss my ass
(_X_) Leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) A tired ass
(_E=mc2_) A smart ass
(_?_) Dumb ass
(_Lame_) Lame ass
(_jack_) Jackass
(_-$_) Cheap ass
(_0_) A Prison ass
(_) Half ass
(®^? Registered ass
(__|___) Lop sided ass
(_:_) 2 holed ass
(_O_) Cavernous ass (an ass that's REALLY been around)
(Mom)(__) Tattooed ass
(_)||(_) Fucked ass
()() Ass print on a window
( * * ) Ass with dimples
(_X X_) A kicked ass
(_%_) An average ass
(_$_) A rich ass
[_!_] A hard ass
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This TOTALLY cracked me up!
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Posted:Jul 27, 2006 7:16 pm
Last Updated:Jul 29, 2006 1:19 pm
4114 Views
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Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from WalMart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner ...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you... umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed aching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my... you know... thing... in your... you know... woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: (logged off)
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~ Before I was
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Posted:Jul 27, 2006 6:41 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2006 11:02 pm
3657 Views
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Before I Was A Mom
Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Spit on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom - I never held down a screaming So that doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom - I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her .
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
Send this to someone who you think is a special Mom or Grandma. I just did.
And remember that behind every successful mother......
Is a basket of dirty laundry.
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Astrological Condoms
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Posted:Jul 26, 2006 8:38 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2006 5:40 am
4117 Views
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SCORPIO: Scorpio condoms outsell all others. That's probably because people try to impress each other with their sexual prowess by pretending that they're a Scorpio. The truth is that no right thinking Scorpio would get caught dead wearing a condom. But then death doesn't scare a Scorpio. And a Scorpio doesn't get caught. Scorpio condoms come in two editions, basic black and the stealthy invisible model. Both leather and studs are optional. Also, because propriety concerns Scorpio, each package of Scorpio condoms comes with a pre-printed, pre-coital agreement. Symbolized by the venomous Scorpion, when you really want to sting your lover, you want a Scorpio condom.
SAGITTARIUS: Sagittarians are known for their worldly pursuits, gamesmanship, cosmopolitan attitude and knack for doing things in a big way. Sagittarian condoms are the sportier models. They come equipped with travel cases. Sagittarian condoms are the ones that go with you and grow with you. They promise a lot and they are extra thick to protect against fluids of a dubious nature. The archer symbolizes Sagittarius. When you want to be on target with Cupid's arrows, you want a Sagittarius condom.
CAPRICORN: Capricorns are known for their longevity, wisdom, practicality, ambition and earthy sensuality. Capricorns tend to be on the conservative side. Capricorn condoms are the most durable, having the longest shelf life. Capricorn condoms are extra strong to last extra long. With Capricorn condoms, wing tips, pin stripes and brief cases are optional. Be sure to shake them out from time to time, otherwise they go stale. Capricorn is the sign of the mountain goat. When you're horny enough to climb the mountains of love, you want a Capricorn condom.
AQUARIUS: Aquarians are gregarious, yet aloof. Aquarius is a high energy sign, and one that is usually politically correct. Aquarian condoms are just a little bit kinky. They come colored hot pink and electric blue, and they come with a battery pack to light up in the dark and French ticklers for extra stimulation. With Aquarius condoms, the packaging features political slogans such as the MiXXe Maxim, "Things can change overnight; it depends upon how late you stay up and with whom doing what." Since Aquarius is a social sign, Aquarian condoms come in multi-packs and are detachable to share with your friends. Aquarius is the sign of the water bearer. When your love juices really get to flowing, you want an Aquarius condom.
PISCES: Pisces is known for their deep feelings that somewhat border on mysticism. Pisces are idealistic, sometimes to the point of ecstatic bliss. Pisces condoms are truly extra sensitive and translucent. Little spikes are optional on the inside. Pisces condoms contain special instructions for erotic fantasy games. Pisces is the sign of the fishes. When it smells like love and you're on a seafood diet, you want a Pisces condom.
ARIES: Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. Aries are action oriented people. Aries is symbolized by the ram, so naturally Aries condoms are made from the finest lambskin. Because Aries often exhibits a "get up and go" attitude, Aries condoms are steel belted, feature racing stripes, and every fully equipped sports car dispenses them. Onyx packaging is optional for the black sheep. Aries prides themselves on being first and best. Aries condoms are perfect for quickies. When you want what you want when you want it, you want an Aries condom.
TAURUS: Taurus is perhaps the most sensual and economy minded of the astrological signs. Taurus condoms are made from the most luxurious materials with special models available in silk and velvet. Taurus condoms give you quality at an affordable price, and they're frequently on sale. Taurians may be slow to make their minds, but once they've made a decision, they're almost impossible to stop. When your love is a sure thing, you want a Taurus condom. The bull symbolizes Taurus. Taurus condoms are the ones you want when you're really horny.
GEMINI: Gemini's are known for their versatility, intellect and communications skills. Accordingly, Gemini condoms accommodate a variety sexual positions and combinations. Gemini condoms are sold in multi-packs and come with a special audio chip. Naturally, they're available through mail order. Frequently, Gemini condoms sell two for the price of one. They always come in special pop up dispensers so that you don't have to work too hard. Gemini is the sign of the twins and Gemini condoms come in twin packs and are the preferred model for double headers. When you need to do it more than once, you need Gemini condoms.
CANCER: Cancer is a water sign and as such is very much interested in safety and tradition. Therefore, Cancer condoms are waterproof and heat treated for hot tubs and natural springs. Cancer condoms make you feel secure. Cancer is also the sign of motherhood. With Cancer condoms, if you decide to become a parent, you can always return the unused portion for a partial refund. Cancer condoms are clingy. Never has history known a time when Cancer condoms were not available. Fine antique specimens grace many collections. Astrologically speaking, Cancer is associated with the breasts. The makers of Cancer condoms are happy to sponsor the annual spring "Breast Worship Rituals." Cancer condoms are freely dispensed to beautiful, large breasted women. Cancer is symbolized by the crab. When you're not getting enough love and are starting to feel crabby, reach for a Cancer condom. LEO: Leos are known for their passion, pride, and (pro)creative urges. Leos tend to be a bit flashy, showy and original in and out of bed. Leo condoms come in gold foil packaging with custom monogramming. Leo condoms come in one size: extra, extra large. Leo is symbolized by the lion. When you're ready to meet your mate and make wild jungle noises, you're ready for a Leo condom.
VIRGO: Virgos are fussy and particular. Virgo condoms feature perfection of fit and they keep you neat and clean. Virgos tend to be environmentally sound consumer types. Naturally, Virgo condoms have the lowest failure rate, the highest performance rating and come equipped with a detailed, all purpose instruction manual. Virgo is symbolized by the virgin. When you're ready for some ritualized defloweration activities, you're ready for a Virgo condom. LIBRA:
Libras are suave and anxious to please others. Libra condoms are the fancy European models and come in fashionable hand-painted designer packaging. Libra condoms make for an elegant accessory on the best dates. Libra condoms are aesthetically pleasing to both partners. They are reversible and can turn into a diaphragm thus sharing the responsibilities. Libra is symbolized by the scales. When sex weighs heavily on your mind, you want a Libra condom.
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What does your favorite drink say about you?
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Posted:Jul 26, 2006 1:24 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2006 5:43 am
4057 Views
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Vodka Martini ‒ Sophisticated. You’re classy, old school or a James Bond wannabe. I’ve been known to drink these.
Cosmopolitan ‒ Prissy, over ordered and passé. Favored by Manolo Blahnik wearing Candace Bushnell devotees who spend all their money on shoes but live in rathole apartments. Rapidly becoming an old lady drink.
Sidecar ‒ The last time you got laid was 1932.
Chardonnay ‒ You know what you like. Boring. Predictable. The Missionary Position of White Wine.
Pinot Grigio ‒ You’re pretentious or don’t know what you like. You follow the herd. The Circle Jerk of White Wine
Beer ‒ Blue collar, simple, and an old standby. (I think a girl wearing a t-shirt and jeans while drinking a good ‘ol Bud is very sexy.)
Chocolate Martini ‒ You’re immature or have a sweet tooth. Good for masking the taste of Roofies.
Vodka on the Rocks ‒ You want to get drunk as fast as possible.
Malibu Bay Breeze ‒ A gay man’s drink. (According to Louis)
Sloe Gin Fizz ‒ Same as above.
Gin neat ‒ Only for mad dogs and Englishmen.
Sour Apple Martini ‒ You have a sense of fun but overindulgence might cause dancing on tables and bad karaoke singing.
Negroni ‒ Fluvio’s favorite drink so I can’t badmouth it. I like my job.
Campari and Soda ‒ You’re a gourmand. A good aperitif. A bitter drink for bitter people.
Manhattan ‒ Old fogey drink. Stuffy. Where did I put the bitters?
Sweet Vermouth on the Rocks ‒ You’re so old that if you’re not already in the grave you soon will be.
Pinot Noir ‒ You’ve seen Sideways. Nuff said.
Sex on the Beach ‒ You’ve been to Club Hedonism haven’t you?
Sex up Against the Wall ‒ You own shares in Club Hedonism don’t you?
Galliano ‒You’re a waterbed, lava lamp, reel to reel, gold chain wearing, wall to wall shag carpet loving, swinging 70’s disco fool.
Gimlets ‒ You’re old fashioned and like to drink. Usually the libation of classy cerebral babes.
Rob Roy ‒ You’re an alcoholic.
Margarita ‒ You’re fun, good in bed, and naughty with a sense of style. If you don’t have it with salt you’re a wimp.
Shirley Temple ‒ What? Are you five years old? On the wagon? Get the fuck outta here.
Bloody Mary ‒ You need an excuse to start drinking before lunch.
Gin and Tonic ‒ You’re kinda boring but an excellent drink when it’s hot outside.
Mint Julep ‒ You’re a hospitable Southern guy/gal. Good stuff. Rarely ordered.
Tequila ‒ You’re not afraid of spending a little time in jail.
Champagne ‒ You’re reserved, classy, or a stripper.
Vodka Red Bull - Party person, young, possible cokehead.
Southern Comfort ‒Where’d you put the Lynyrd Skynyrd eight tracks? I know I saw ‘em around here somewhere.
Mojito ‒ You’re not afraid to try new things, have low frustration tolerance and are prone to wild rages.
Rum and Coke ‒ You’ve been arrested for assault once or twice.
Whisky Sour ‒ Have another one Grandma.
Alabama Slammer ‒ You’ve read the “Have a Cocktail” placemat at the diner once too often.
Whisky, Single Malt Scotch, Bourbon ‒ You’re a sexual athlete. Women want you and men want to be like you. You have class, talent, wit, and brains. Of course, this is what I drink.
Mine is a Mai Tai...- but it wasn't listed above! (Thank God!) LOL!!! I'm gonna have to look that one up (biting my nails,nervously.....)
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A Naughty Little Poem!
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Posted:Jul 25, 2006 10:41 am
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2006 5:42 am
3864 Views
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She whispered "will it hurt me?"
"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."
She said "I'm very frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times
And said it can be sore."
It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been a size.
"Calm yourself" he whispered
"His face filled with a grin
"Try and open wider
So I can get it in."
"It's coming now" he whispered
"I know" she cried in bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I'm having this."
And with a final effort
She gave a frightened shout
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.
She lay back quite contended
Sighed and gave a smile
She said "I'm glad I came now
You made it worth my while."
Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!!
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6
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You had me................
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Posted:Jul 24, 2006 6:51 pm
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2006 1:39 am
3649 Views
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...from hello..............
Like a soft subtle wind, gently caressing my soul
You breezed into my life consuming all my control
With all I possess, I try to hold ground
Yet the nearness of you makes my heart pound
Time begs to stand still when sharing takes place
As we laugh and tease in our own little space
I'm captured completely with no measure of time
To remain on this cloud is no less than devine
Although our acquaintance just began its start
It feels like a lifetime, we're sharing old hearts
Your gentleness and compassion is beyond compare
To question such understanding, I won't go there
Each time we say goodbye anticipation sets in
And I await in contemplation of when I'll see you again
So obvious is the fact of my need to know more
To know all that's in your heart is what I now implore
My thoughts live in daydreams as I dare to be bold
Of your arms wrapped around me, while desire unfolds
Of your lips caressing mine as we soar to new heights
Ascending flames of fiery passion of a heavenly delight
So often we are searching trying so hard to find
Our own kindred spirit, the one that destiny defined
The one who rattles our composure and leaves the heart aglow
Do I dare be out spoken and say you had me from hello?????!
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*Under The Moonlight*
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Posted:Jul 23, 2006 6:31 pm
Last Updated:Jul 29, 2006 8:59 am
3781 Views
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Under the moonlight
Together hand in hand
We look at the stars
As we savor romance
I find myself suddenly
In your warm embrace
Kissing you gently
Caressing your face
I close my eyes
I feel your loving charms
We both moan in pleasure
Melting in each others arms
We look at each other
As we kiss passionately
Pulling me closer
Grasping me tenderly
Kissing and touching
Holding each other tight
Breathlessly we sigh
In complete delight
We moan and groan
Under the moonlight sky
As we make love
In fantasy we fly
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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3
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15 Pieces of Advice Regarding Men:
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Posted:Jul 23, 2006 1:28 pm
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2006 1:38 am
3590 Views
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NO! I dont hate men! I came across this on the internet and figured I'd share it. I thought it was funny.....LADIES, ENJOY!
15 pieces of advice for women regarding men:
1. Don't imagine you can change a man, unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do when your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door behind him.
3. If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander. Its too small to be out on it's own.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyways.
6. Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
7. The definition of a bachelor is a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men. Most of them are do-it-yourself types.
9. The best way to get a man to do something is to say he's too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what kind of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember, a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes. It means that you laugh at him.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
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Dear Mr. Right,
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Posted:Jul 23, 2006 1:11 pm
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2006 1:41 am
3453 Views
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The MR. RIGHT Rejection Letter
Dear [____rejectee's name here_____],
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply]
___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.
___ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my to it.
___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.
___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.
___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you babe?" comment, given the 9-months pregnant size of your beer gut, was inappropriate.
___ You failed the credit check.
___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
___ You still live with your parents.
___ You mention your ex-girlfriend's name more than you mention mine.
___ Three words: Size does matter.
Sincerely,
[Your name here]
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To link to this blog (steamyandsexybi) use [blog steamyandsexybi] in your messages.
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