Rawhide
|
Posted:May 21, 2014 12:54 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2014 2:49 pm
14332 Views
|
Rollin', rollin', rollin'
Though the streams are swollen,
Keep them dogies rollin' alooooong...
Well howdy, pardeners 
I'm feeling kinda cowboy today 
I want to ride 'em hard and long and shout "Yee-haw" while I'm doing it
I'm going to wear chaps and a waistcoat and a neckerchief and nothing else..... now wouldn't you pay good Canadian Tire Money to see that???
What do you mean no??
Cheeky monkeys...
Well in that case, you can pay me Canadian Tire Money NOT to see it
Mind you, I'll probably have to wear it anyway while my leopard print thong ™ is at the fumigator's....
I just got it back from the sandblaster...got most of the crustiness off so I'm happy about that 
Once it's all done I'll be in good shape for the next 3 or 4 years before I'll need to clean it again...
Most of the long term readers will remember my Leopard Print Thong ™ well.....it was quite famous in it's day
Charmer961 was especially jealous of it...he figured it would set off his polished ass perfectly....he even offered copious amounts of Canadian Tire Money, but I refused to sell.....personally I thought that would be gilding the lily, but each to their own I suppose
Speaking of readers..... Watcher #23 reported for duty recently and immediately set me to smiling....it's funny how a little remark, which takes seconds to write, can please you more than anything... we don't do enough of that kind of thing around here in my opinion.....
In the misty past I attempted to get a Blogger Appreciation Day ™ going....it was a minor success for about a day or so
I think it would be a good idea to take a second and let your favourite bloggers know how much you enjoy and appreciate what they do
In my case, I just write any old garbage, stream of conciousness type of thing....but there are a lot of people who put genuine thought and effort into their posts who deserve a pat on the back Or the front or anywhere else that takes your fancy...
Actually I can think of quite a few female bloggers I'd like to give a good "patting" to 
On a related note.... someone said they missed my "inimitable" style.....being less than edumacated, I had to ask if that was good or bad...no answer yet so I'm thinking it's not good
But then again, she always was bit of a smart ass
She's a cute ass too...but that's just my opinion
Speaking of long timer's..... it's good to see a friend of mine (and your's i might add), happy as all get out these days
Even if these days she is being more sappy than... *ahem* no I won't use that word
She still scares me you know...
Even after all these years..... lol
Must be the Hockey Player in her....she was never afraid of a game's misconduct for unsportsmanlike that one
Shhhhhh! 
Don't tell her I said that
Oh...that reminds me....I should do an "Ice Caps on my Moobs" in honour of the Jets farm team making it to the Eastern Conference Final in the Calder Cup Playoffs
I know....60% of my readers heard "blah blah blabbity blah" there
Well I guess it's time to saddle up and mosey on down to the saloon..... have me a Sasperilla and give Miss Kitty a damned good seeing to upstairs.....
Y'all come back now, y'hear!
|
|
|
13
Comments
|
|
|
|
In the town, where I was born...
|
Posted:May 16, 2014 11:11 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2014 7:13 am
13104 Views
|
Wheeeeeeeee!!!!
It's THAT day again....
Wheeeeeeeee!!!!
How are you, my cheeky monkeys??
I'm feeling Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius
....even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious 
Hee Hee Hee! 
Wheeeeeeee!!!
It's one of those days where you just feel like going around saying "woot woot" for no apparent reason....
And if that doesn't scare the hell out of casual passers-by and co-workers I don't know what will
Long weekend, baby!!
Wheeeeeee!!!!!
And in other news....
I miss a day and I have a sea of yellow watched blogs....
Man, are you guys prolific
Hmmmm just had a thought...
If you sail the sea of yellow...do you have to do it in a green submarine??
Think about it...wait for it....wait for it....THERE you go
And if you didn't get that reference...just pretend you did and nod and smile we'll carry on like nothing happened...
(cue much scratching of heads, wailing and gnashing of teeth)
I was going to wade through them...but I realised if I did that right away I wouldn't have time to do this
And my legions of fans would never forgive me if I missed two days in a row....
Yes yes I know...I don't have legions of avid readers....
But I could have!!
Yes indeed....it's possible
Far fetched maybe, but possible
I'm optimistic!
I have high hopes!!
Hey you can't blame a guy for trying
You have to be in it to win it, you know
And over to Jim on the sports desk:
Yes, thank you and here's last nights sports roundup....
Some teams won, some teams lost and some other teams didn't play. Back to you John:
Soooooo.....hairy brains. What's with that? Personal preference or scared to get a nick?
The answer after the commercial break....
( cue ads )
And welcome back!
More on hairy brains in a moment....but first....the weather with Jessica...
Like, the weather, like, there will be, like totally, some. We, like, don't know what it'll, like, be...I totally, like, tried to google it, like, but I couldn't, like, find it...like totally...
Back, like, to you, John (giggle) awesome...
Umm, thanks Jessica....
And there you have it...there will be weather.
And that's all we have time for today...oh...wait....this just in from our correspondent in the field...
" woot woot!"
And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first.
Thank you and goodnight! (fade to black)
Wow...wasn't that spectacular!?!?
Wouldn't you pay to read that!?!?!
Don't you think I should be up for a Pulitzer?!?!?
Wheeeeee!!!
If you have one, enjoy your long weekend!
If you don't have one, too bad
See you Tuesday if not before!Or after! Or whenever!
PS If your head hurts after all that, don't worry about it...it's normal....it'll go away
|
|
|
11
Comments
|
|
Waiting for the Punchline
|
Posted:May 14, 2014 10:19 am
Last Updated:May 16, 2014 10:11 am
13217 Views
|
A Wednesday by any other name is still a Wednesday....
So Happy Wednesday everyone!
Is it just me or is Wednesday just an excuse to say "Hump"?
I wouldn't think you'd need an excuse for that
Hump, hump, humpity hump...
See? It doesn't have to be Wednesday for that
Frankly, as far as I'm concerned, EVERY day should be Hump Day
But that's just me lol
Thus endeth the prologue....
Why? you say...
Well because every good story has a beginning, a middle and an end...just like good sex
See? I managed to get sex into it early today for a change....
Must be because it's Hump Day, when all young men's minds turn to sex....
Maybe I should officially rename it Camel Day....
Why?
Because they've always got the hump
lmao
Oh boy...the old ones are the best
No...they should be put out to pasture.....
Says you, oh Disembodied Voice in the Sky....
I know, I know...lack of imagination is no excuse...but it's the best I've got
The conversation is about to take a sharp downhill turn by the way
You have been warned lol
Just wait till I tell the one about the going in the saloon with his arm in a sling.....
Or the one about the unhappy dentist....
Hey come on now! I only have three jokes.....I have to use them sparingly
Give me a break will you?
I am after all The Least Interesting Man In The World....check your Guinness Book of Records if you don't believe me
Let me put it this way.... I earn tons of royalties every year from this place because they used my picture for the avatar when you don't have a pic of your own...
You know the one?
Yes I am the Grey Man
I used to be the Beige Man, but I got demoted....
I wonder if anyone got this far in this post...?
And of those who did, I wonder how many are only reading to see what the other two jokes are??
lol
Actually, the point is....
There's a point??
Yes there is....sometimes....oh Disembodied Voice In The Sky....
You must have a "hook"...like any good song, there's always a "hook"
You have to generate interest... whether it be in order to attract the opposite sex, get people to read your blog or sell newspapers....
Think about it...without large banner headlines would you buy a paper or a magazine?
Hmmmm, showing my age a bit there...does anyone still buy hard copy?
I'm a bit old school I'm afraid...lol
Let's say, for instance, you write a thoughtful and informative blog...how do you get someone around here to read it?
The one surefire way is to title it " My (insert genitalia of choice) on display!"...or some other sexy, "come hither" kind of title
Calling it "A thoughtful dissertation on the subject of XXXX" will certainly kill it for the average blog surfer
Just like in the tabloids....sex sells!! lol
The same goes for chatting up women....you must have "the hook"
It's not difficult to be interesting...even without lying.....
My number one tip for being interesting?
Be interested in her....
How simple is that?
Too simple, too simple....
Seriously though....if you actually take the time to LISTEN as well as talk...the conversation will build itself...
And if you take the time to do that, she'll enjoy spending time with you...which will translate into meeting you...which translates (eventually) into nakedness
And now.....
Here beginneth the epilogue.....
Ok....so now we have dispensed with the boring middle part it's time to rack up the fun-o-meter
I bet you're thinking "Oh my god! What can he do to make this even MORE fun??"
Well...how about something like this:
He was looking for the guy that shot his paw....
and
They're always looking down in the mouth....
Boom Boom!
Shave and a haircut ...two bits
Don't forget to tip your waitress...I'll be here all week
Now wasn't that the most fun you can have with your clothes on???
NO??
Oh well...
That's why they call me The Least Interesting Man In The World....
Stay thirsty my friends
|
|
|
9
Comments
|
|
My head is spinnin', Like a whirlpool, it never ends...
|
Posted:May 13, 2014 10:48 am
Last Updated:May 16, 2014 10:17 am
12875 Views
|
Well hello there my frisky little ponies!
What have you got to say for yourselves today?
Anything good?
Anything naughty?
Anything dirty??
Well if you came here looking for any of the above, you're in for a disappointment
But then again, you probably knew that already lol
Long time readers (and there are one or two of you ), will realize this already, but this is not your average sex blog.....
Actually, I'm sure some of you would argue that this isn't a sex blog at all
And mostly it's not, although sometimes sexy stuff will rear it's head in the course of the proceedings around here...and when it does it's anything but average
(pause for self congratulation)
*ahem*
Yes....anyways....
You will find me tooting my own horn from time to time
Actually, I toot my own horn quite a lot
Regularly in fact
It's a wonder I don't dry up from over tooting
Is that possible?
I've heard you can go blind....
That's possibly why I wink a lot...I'm going half blind from all the tooting
See??
Just did it again
Speaking of winking.....
Oh...wait....that's a typo...
It's spelt with an "a" usually....
Oh, I crack myself up sometimes...
As you can plainly see I write this nonsense more for myself than anybody else lol
Reading this must be like being inside my head...not pretty and damned confusing....never mind that the rabbit that works the controls has been pooping all over the place
So watch your feet...I don't advise going barefoot in here
Oh boy...I'm glad I'm not you guys
Are you dizzy yet??
You should be
If you're not...maybe you should seek professional help
I just happen to be newly qualified as a female-only therapist
I use an avant garde technique.....the cure for everything is sex
It must be personally administered by the prescribing therapist....of course
The doctor is in....first patient please
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
|
|
|
|
Quark, Strangeness and Charm
|
Posted:May 8, 2014 10:53 am
Last Updated:May 9, 2014 6:22 am
12963 Views
|
Legat qui circa te apello...... *
....but more on that later
Back by popular request
Ummmm...okay, maybe not "popular" request....
Ummmm...actually...maybe not by request at all
But I am kinda back...
Today at least....as to the future...who knows
Anyway.....how have you all been my little ducklings??
This is post 250 by the way....just in case you hadn't noticed 
.....and it only took me a year to get around to writing it
So....I'm sure you're all wondering what I've been up to...
No??
What's that??
You couldn't give a flying what???
Yeah...me neither lol
Suffice it to say, rumours of my premature demise have been greatly exaggerated...
Well...I've always been somewhat premature...but I ain't dead yet
Well...only from the neck up
Let's get that straight right away....
THOSE rumours are true
I'm sure some of you are delighted, some of you are disappointed and some of you just don't care either way
Which goes to show you can't please everyone all the time
But that's okay.... I don't mind .... at least I'm pleasing someone, at some point
There's always a silver lining if you look hard enough
So as I sit here naked (under my clothes), I wondered what I could do to make this a "landmark" post....after all 250 is kind of a big deal as numbers go...
Then I realised...there's nothing "special" I can really do....
Ho hum....not very exciting is it?
But wait....there's more....
Call now and we'll ship you absolutely free....
Ooops...sorry...went off topic a little there...thought I was on the shopping channel
Now where was I?
Oh yes....senseless waffling to fill in time
Business as usual then I hear you say...
Yep, I reply with a smirk...
So, we shall see what we shall see....
Is this the beginning of a bright new era in blogdom?
Or is this the start of the long, slow slide into obscurity?
Well, whichever it is....the pressure is off
I made a post....so let the dice fly high! as Julius Caesar would say...
And who knows?? Maybe, also as Caesar might have said, I'll be able to say:
Veni Vidi Cunnilingi
Ok, ok so that's not grammatically or linguistically correct..... so sue me
And I just KNOW there's someone going to make that comment
Considering that a great number of people around here can't be grammatically or linguistically correct in their FIRST language, I think you can all let that one slide
Just humour me
Puuuullleeeease?????
*roughly "those who are about to read, I salute you" kind of... lol
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
The Entertainer
|
Posted:Jul 22, 2013 11:35 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2014 9:27 am
19066 Views
|
Hello folks!
Yes it's that time again
Time for your Daily Dose
Just think of it as medication for the frazzled mind
Or at least a case of "I thought I was weird...but he's weirder"
Yes, ladies and gentlemen...you are now entering...
The Twilight Zone......
do do do do...do do do do...do do do do....
excited4now claims I wasn't this confusing a year ago....
I beg to differ
I think she was just used to it back then
There's nothing different about me or my blog, as far as I can tell lol
But then again...if you're insane, how can you tell?
Isn't your insanity really your reality...?
Aren't we all judged by our reflections in another's eyes??
Let me put it this way....if you don't think I'm weird...it's probably because you are too
Or maybe I'm the only sane person in a world full of crazies
Or maybe not
But still maybe
Now I've got you thinking...
"Is it me or is it him?"
Don't worry people...it's definitely you
I will say this though...I don't have any hinges... *
Wait for it....
Wait for it....
THERE you go
And no...I've never been tested
I did try that wordcloud thing Flirty did...just for fun
But i'm not posting the results...you never know when an amateur psychologist will leap out of the shadows, shouting "Nobody expects an amateur psychologist!!"....
Oh wait...that's the Spanish Inquisition
Hmmmm 
Same thing really
I wonder what someone of a "professional" persuasion would make of this?
It would be interesting to find out...although I don't think they'd tell me anything I didn't already know
Pretty run of the mill thing really....needy and attention seeking
And what's wrong with that exactly?
If it wasn't for people like me...there would be no music, no movies, no reality shows...in fact life as we know it would completely cease to exist! lol
You know it's true
In order to be a voyeur, you have to have something to watch
It's practically a public service you know
I should be getting paid by the government for taking everyone's mind off taxes and the like
Hmmmm...maybe I should apply for a federal position...preferably 69 , but I'd settle for doggy style
Yeah yeah yeah....gratuitous sexual reference
Be honest though...how many times have you filled in a form...and where it says "Sex?" you ALWAYS think "Yes please"
Don't lie to me
You know you do it
Just think though......given humanity's penchant for voyeurism and reality tv, not to mention 24 hour news coverage (in my opinion, the ultimate in reality tv)....how long before science fiction becomes reality?
The Running Man? The Hunger Games? Rollerball?
Is that where we're headed?
Whatever happened to making your own fun?
That's what I did when I was a lad...
Of course, I ended up with blisters on my right hand
But I didn't go blind
Anyway, that's all I have time for....
See you tomorrow, same time, same channel...
Don't touch that dial
* unhinged....get it? get it? lmfao
|
|
|
10
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (spudsy1000) use [blog spudsy1000] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
61
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
