The Potato's Lair.... by spudsy1000, a Blog on Senior Sizzle

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The Potato's Lair....

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I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause	Posted:Dec 23, 2015 11:36 am Last Updated:Jan 5, 2016 10:10 am 34691 Views
No I didn't...but it seemed like a good title Musical, sexy and a little taboo? Perfect So, folks and folkettes..... wassup?? I seem to be a part time Senior Sizzle'er these days I peruse the blogs, perv a profile or two...at least as much as a standard member can....stick my nose in the chat room and leave Blogging has fallen by the wayside...and I can't email...... lol Doesn't leave much now, does it? lol Oh well.... at least I can still play with myself lmao God help you all if I ever lost the use of my hands You know, if the stories are to be believed..... I should have gone blind by now! Or at least had a right arm like popeye Note to the interested - don't try and arm wrestle with me Anyways....snow. Yes snow. White gold I need to get me a snow blower...or at least an independent woman.... Apparently independent women are really good at snow shoveling I read it in a blog on here...so it must be true So I have that to look forward to tonight I guess lol I don't mind it to be honest Gives me extra time to think about sex And I'm done work as of this evening, till after New Year....so if it get it done tonight, or tomorrow or whatever it doesn't really matter, right? Anyway, time to get going... here's hoping you all have a good and safe holiday season Have fun!
	4 Comments

Message In A Bottle	Posted:Dec 3, 2015 3:33 pm Last Updated:Dec 4, 2015 5:58 am 32064 Views
Yeah. Ummmm. What to say? Well, other than this place has lost it's edge for me Not that I got email ever....but it just annoys me that now I will get no email because Senior Sizzle says I'm not allowed to have any lol I'd like the option You see before, I reckoned that I didn't get any because I'm fat, ugly and have all the personality of a dead fish Now I figure it's because the powers that be are out to get me It's all a conspiracy you see, engineered to prevent me getting laid The fact that I didn't get laid before the change has absolutely no bearing here AND.... AND.... They had the cheek to ask me to do a survey!! About my experience here today lol Talk about misreading your audience lol Actually, it doesn't bother me that I can't email out....as a standard member you really never could unless you got enough points, it's the reading of received mail that's my issue But anyway.... It's not the end of the world..... Obviously I'm not leaving here just yet
	5 Comments

I Shaved My Balls For This?	Posted:Oct 20, 2015 10:34 am Last Updated:Oct 21, 2015 6:55 am 33978 Views
To paraphrase the Deanna Carter song lol Well I am miffed........ Why? you might ask... I'll tell you.... Apparently my mail is only accessible to Golden members... Seriously?? I have a message in my inbox I can't even read..... Way to go..... one of my last two reasons for logging in is gone..... Just the blog left now I can't believe it....
	9 Comments

Get A Haircut and Get A Real Job	Posted:Sep 24, 2015 1:12 pm Last Updated:Sep 30, 2015 2:36 pm 34248 Views
Hello boys and girls! Don't panic...this isn't the end of the world Contrary to popular belief, I am not one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse....nor am I a Harbinger of Doom.... Unless Doom is code for Orgasms Well you never know.... Young folks nowadays speak their own, barely intelligible language lol I cringe every time I hear someone say "Oh that's sooooo 2006" or something lol Eeeek! Well at least I'm still younger than some people AND I have the best hair Even better than Justin's You know...JUSTIN..... Yeah, him And he has GOOD hair...or so the adverts tell us Hmmmm He's older than me too You know you're old when potential prime ministers are around the same age as you lol Anyway, I just thought I'd check in and see if you're all still alive.... Roll call please Holla if you hear me
	12 Comments

Moby Dick	Posted:Jul 22, 2015 11:33 am Last Updated:Sep 26, 2015 5:20 pm 22397 Views
The Led Zeppelin song of course...you filthy people Hello everyone! Yes I know...I missed National Emoji Day How could I do such a thing? you ask... Well for one thing, I had no clue there was such a day And for another thing...EVERY day is Emoji Day with me lmao So there you go Mystery solved A young lady of my acquaintance wanted to know when I was going to blog, since it had been a while...she claimed she was having Spudsy withdrawals.... Well let me tell you...I don't withdraw Unless you ask me to...and you better have a plan in mind for what to do with it when I do 'cause she's gonna blow lmao ...and there's no telling where it'll end up A bit like my blog really, when you think about it So here's what I do.... I ramble a bit, write complete nonsense, make ridiculous statements and call it....art! Now if I could just get a government grant for it I'd be set! lol Seriously though...it's got to be at least as good as what passes for "art" Don't you think? My collected works could be the next great literary phenomenon!! Coming to a Bargain Bookstore near you soon! (See how I neatly tied that back in to the title?? Moby Dick, get it? ) Yes, my dears - nothing is random here...it only looks that way There is an ultimate plan - you just haven't figured out what it is yet The truth is out there.... Oooooooh weeeeee oooooohhhhh ooooooohhhhh weeeeeeee That reminds me....Gillian Anderson is still smokin' hot Rawwrrr
	12 Comments

Stand By For Exciter	Posted:Jul 7, 2015 6:18 am Last Updated:Jul 8, 2015 5:40 am 22323 Views
Here he comes now.... Fall to your knees and repent if you please..... Yes, boys and girls, I'm on a Judas Priest kick right now lol It could have been worse...I could have used Eat Me Alive for a title On that note....any volunteers?? No?? But I washed it and everything! LMAO There's a story about Tom Jones...that he used to dip his tadger in mouthwash before meeting the panty slingers backstage True or not....it's a great story So things have been pretty busy for me lately, hence the lack of blogging Not good busy...just work busy, in case you were getting all excited Oh come on...you KNOW this isn't that kind of blog You really shouldn't come here expecting that lol Even if this does purport to be a sex site Speaking of which...if it wasn't for people screwing it up this would be a great sex site lol Isn't it funny that the minute you involve human beings, everything gets all screwed up? lol Glad I'm a Sex Robot from the future I'm the Orgasminator Wouldn't that be cool though? I'd have all these detachable appendages for any situation... Go, go gadget dick Combine that with my built in Wheel of Tongues and we're off into space! Metaphorically and hypothetically speaking Mind you, I'm sure with the sudden resurgence of The Terminator franchise, some enterprising porn studio has already copyrighted that idea lol Don't they make NEW movies anymore? Or am I just getting old?? Of course, Arnie DID say "I'll be back". He just didn't specify how many times Anyway, I guess I ought to go do some work for my living,,,,, Hasta la orgasmo, baby!
	8 Comments

Three Chords, Two Fingers and One Asshole	Posted:Jun 12, 2015 11:09 am Last Updated:Jun 12, 2015 9:28 pm 22655 Views
There you go.....a famous quote by a certain someone... Who? Keef Richards Strangely fitting for my blog The first two items might change, but the third is constant around here I did a quiz and it turns out my Asshole Quotient is in the low 200s Apparently I'm a genius asshole if you wanted to compare it to IQ Yes ladies and gents...if my Asshole Quotient was defined in intelligence I'd be so smart I'm scary Evil Genius scary Bwwaaahahahahahahaha! Yep. All I'd need is a mini-me and I'd be all set for global domination Oh yes, it will be mine..... But aside from that...how did you enjoy my Minimalist ™ Blog over the last week or so? Note to self: Put $1 CT money in Flirty™ 's Jar You didn't notice? Well you can't get any more Minimalist ™ than not posting at all Note to self : Another $1 CT money... Well folks...you'll never see a Minimalist ™ post here Note to self : Another $1 CT money...this is going to cost me a fortune... Why not? I couldn't do it...I talk too much... On paper at least lol In person I'm not so forthcoming But on paper it's yap, yap, yap, yap, yap I really have to stop using that expression though...all my CT money will be gone in a flash in royalties sigh Since she Trademarked it it's cost me about $10 CT money already...sheesh...and it hasn't even been 24 hours yet... So I've come up with an idea.... Any time I reference it from now on I'm going to call it Min. B. Can't TM an abbreviation can you? That could stand for anything at all, right? So just between you and me, loyal reader...if you see that Min. B. abbreviation you know what I'm talking about right? I know you won't tell her..... Have a good one folks!
	4 Comments

Dr, Dr, Give Me The News....	Posted:Jun 5, 2015 3:27 pm Last Updated:Jul 6, 2015 7:35 am 22835 Views
Woot woot! End of the week....hooray!! Break out the blow ticklers and lets party!! Now there's a question.... Do you Blow your Tickler...or Tickle your Blow?? Food for thought..... And speaking of food for thought.....I've invented a ne genre of adult entertainment.... Potato Porn!! {pause for rapturous applause} Thank you, thank you! I was reading a local blog and it just popped into my head....I thought to myself: "Well, slather me in sour cream and put bacon on my bits...that sounds like Potato Porn" It wasn't....but that's what I thought...'cause I'm filthy like that Lmao Anyway.....I was thinking of a career change earlier... I thought to myself "what would you do if you had to find another job?" I can't picture myself serving in Timmie's somehow... There's just no way I'd be able to keep a straight face whenever a lady asked for a muffing....I mean muffin.... And as for those beige slacks? They wouldn't keep an unsolicited hard on from showing the way my jeans do.... I couldn't do it... I'd be fired for sexual harassment on the first day.... Although...it could be a medical thing... I mean, it's not my fault if I get an erection for no apparent reason...I can't help that... I'll be sitting here quite normally....and suddenly I'll be rampant...without even the slightest thought of sex... sigh Maybe it's my body trying to tell me I need to get some more...or even some... lol I wonder if I can claim that on my health benefits?? "Yes I did put in a claim for an Senior Sizzle Memberhip...yes...and flowers and dinner at a fancy restaurant...what's that? Hotel bill? Well yes...uh huh...it's to control my libido..." Hmmm...can't see that one washing with the insurance company.... Oh well...back to the drawing board.... It'll just have to be old faithful.... known in Latin as Muchus Wankus See ya! Have a great weekend!
	4 Comments

The Long Run	Posted:Jun 2, 2015 3:00 pm Last Updated:Jun 3, 2015 10:41 am 21158 Views
Ok....what the hell is going on? This has to have been the longest day ever!! lol That might be alright if you're having good sex, but when you're stuck working it's no fun It's not like I haven't been busy...it's just draaaaaagggggged Oh well...it's almost done Now why can't the weekend go like that? So what have you lot been up to all day? It's even been relatively quiet on the blog front here today lol It's at times like these you think to yourself...how many times can I go to the bathroom before someone gets suspicious? More importantly, how many times can I go to the bathroom before my willy starts to hurt? Yes...there are limits Funny....the body will give out long before the will or desire will I used to call it writing cheques your body can't cash I must say though....I have never experienced Wanker's Cramp..... That's a condition related to Tennis Elbow or Playstation Thumb (for my younger readers) It's one of those Repetitive Strain Injuries Wonder if it would be covered by Worker's Compensation?? That would be funny...can't you picture it?? lol There would have to be an investigation for one thing.... The company would then have to perform a Hazard Assessment and come up with a Policy to ensure it never happens again.... They might have to install elbow rests by the toilet...or provide for relief in other ways... Maybe issue each employee a Wheel of Tongues Don't you think they should?? I swear I'm going to try that out one day lol Later!
	7 Comments

Get The Funk Out	Posted:Jun 1, 2015 10:57 am Last Updated:Jun 2, 2015 8:45 am 20593 Views
Good day ladies and gentlemen of Senior Sizzle You know, some days I even amuse myself.... I was just rereading some of my old stuff here... I actually made myself laugh lol I'm not entirely sure whether I was laughing WITH myself, or laughing AT myself Not that it really matters Although I did wonder to myself if I was as "interesting" (for want of a better word ) in person.... I've never felt interesting or particularly attractive..... I was always the "wingman" when I was younger....always.... I never perfected the "art" of picking up women, or making them interested in picking me up Even now, I fail to see anything interesting or engaging... I'm decidedly average in my opinion But having said that, there's no accounting for taste...thankfully!! lol Just sayin' Anyway.... all that aside.... who wants some of this studly he-stallion?? Maybe I should use a cock pic as my profile pic Bet that would bring the ladies running... NOT lol Mind you...they do say it pays to advertise Maybe if I painted feathers and a beak on it it would be acceptable Wouldn't that be funny? lol Oh!!! We could have a Fancy Dressed Cock competition! We could make little outfits! I'd be Zorro.....or Batman....or maybe The Flash would be more apt lol Actually, that's a serious notion.... lack of practice is making me faster and faster...dammit.... I'll be breaking land speed records soon, at this rate.... Mind you...it's nothing two or three days in a row wouldn't cure Hint...hint.... So I'll leave you with that thought....and if you're tempted.... it's like I said earlier...there's no accounting for taste See ya!
	8 Comments

Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weeny, Yellow Polka Dot Bikini	Posted:May 29, 2015 7:55 am Last Updated:Jun 3, 2015 5:12 am 20811 Views
Hello folks! You better leave the bikini's in storage for a while yet...it's going to be minus 1 tonight Unless of course you're not wearing it outside Ahem When it's chilly enough to give you nipples that could cut glass, what chance does clothing have? I think that might be part of the conspiracy......force you into summer clothing , then turn down the temperature so you shred your clothes with hard nipples and then have to replace them... I'm telling you...it's true!! It MUST be true....you read it on the internet In other news.... I heard this week that people poop wrong.... Yes ladies and gentlemen, after all these millions of years someone has figured out that we've been pooping in an incorrect fashion They even wrote a book on the subject! AND got a spot on national television to promote it! Have we fallen THAT far...?? lol Now don't get me wrong... I'm not a fan of undue strain in the poopage department....but still....really?? I do, however, enjoy answer questions through the door in the negative.... Witness: From outside the door: "Do you want a coffee?" NNNNNNNNNNo It's even better when accompanied by a large splash.... Freaks people out Sometimes I'll fill the sink with water and drop a full shampoo bottle in it for effect Anyway...... So I was thinking...if someone can invent a new and improved method for pooping, there's got to be money to be made in all sorts of strange ways.... So I invented Hypothetical Sex ™ Thank you, thank you.....it was nothing, just something I whipped up one afternoon... Oh...I guess you should wait for the applause and cheering to START before you say that.... oops Yes...Hypothetical Sex ™ Hypothetical Sex ™ is for people who fall into one of the following categories: A. People who don't want to have cybersex or are afraid of Keystroke Monitoring on their computers B. People who live too far away and have no wifi or internet connection C. People who are just too lazy to have Cyber or Real sex D. People who can't have real sex due to health or other issues It's also very easy to do... There is no special equipment required, although you do have to order my pamphlet on the subject for only 6 easy payments of $11.95 + $100 shipping and handling Or a blowjob...I'm not fussy Of course I can't tell you the whole method, since that would be shooting my business in the foot.... but I can tell you that it's the safest sex you'll ever have And the easiest....no long courtship ritual, no monetary outlay, no messy cleanup.....you don't even have to shave!! I'll tell you how easy it is.... I'm having it right now! See? And you didn't even know..... In fact, the person I'm having Hypothetical Sex ™ with doesn't even know Hope she's enjoying it as much as I am Later folks, I'm about to cum
	13 Comments

If I Were A Carpenter....	Posted:May 21, 2015 12:17 pm Last Updated:May 27, 2015 8:14 am 20624 Views
If I were a carpenter, I'd play with my wood all day Ok Ok...it's an oldie but a goodie A bit like Surfers Do It Standing Up Yeah....I ain't a surfer either...but you get the point.... As the Bishop said to the Nun... I've always thought it would be cool to try real surfing....maybe one day I will This looking for porn on the internet doesn't qualify as real surfing I always thought body surfing was what you did on an oil slathered female Shows how much I know Anyway.... My search for the perfect woman continues....as usual... And by perfect I mean....a woman willing to have sex with me lmao Doesn't get any more perfect than that now, does it? lol Maybe it does.... Yeah.... Must like music Oh! And be willing to keep me in the style I'd LIKE to become accustomed to lol That's not asking too much is it?? Everything else is just details....except........ Leafs fans need not apply Although even then I might make exceptions See ya!!
	9 Comments

Running Free	Posted:May 20, 2015 9:54 am Last Updated:May 28, 2015 12:21 pm 18959 Views
Should I or shouldn't I? Oh wait...I already did lol Start a blog post, that is Been a while, so what are you up to my sexy munchkins?? Something fun, I hope Me? Just the same old Consider this a drive by blogging Wonder if you can get arrested for that? Blogging with Intent? Aggravated Blogging? Blogging and Entering? Third Degree Blogging? Hmmmm.... As long as there's handcuffs and a policewoman involved - I'm in Sooooo...... Is there a reasonable explanation for my absence? No.... Hmmmmm....insert naughty teacher scenario of your choice here.... Well.... it saves me a lot of typing, and you can always be sure you, the reader, gets what you want It's a bit like forgetting you borrowed that book from the libary...you keep putting off taking it back till you can't afford the late fees.... Insert naughty librarian scenario of your choice here... See what I mean? Way less wear and tear on the typing finger.... In other news...I see an old friend has returned....which is pretty cool I have to memorize the key sequence to get that special ™ up and running again After all, it wouldn't be the same without ™ after her name lol Wonder if the red bikini came too?? Anyway...better get back to work....those webcams won't watch themselves you know Laterz!
	9 Comments

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