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| Blogs > LustyTaurus > A CrAZy CaNUcK... |
ARE YOU A BIG CHICKENSHIT???
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ARE YOU A BIG CHICKENSHIT??? In the previous post...What to do,What to do, I lamented about being bored with my sex life and asked for advice and/or ideas to break the "routine". I got a lot of great advice and some good ideas to try, and welcome any others that come my may....thank you!! I'll get to catching up on replies over the course of today. A common thread was "talk to her LT"... "communication is the key"..."honesty is the best policy" I cannot argue with the logic in those statements, it makes perfect sense...except that I am, shall we say, less than anxious to bring up the subject. Aww hell...I'm the world's biggest chickenshit when it comes to talking about potentially sensitive subjects with my wife!!! You know "that" question??... "Do these jeans make my ass look fat?" I have a standard answer..."Did you hear that Sweetie? What was that noise? I gotta check it out, I'll be right back!!" When we're laying in bed after making love...there is usually a "that was wonderful" statement or "you felt so good inside me" or some positive variation...followed by "Did you like that sweetie?" directed at me. At this point every time I have a choice to tell her something nice to carry the warm fuzzy mood into sleepyville...or with my usual tact, blurt out something along the lines of... "I really enjoyed missionary the first few thousand times we did it...but now not so much" or "I don't want to hurt your feelings sweetie, but to change it up a bit, I'd like to use the brown towel to clean up afterwards instead of the red one. Do you mind?" But I invariably shut my pie-hole and say something kind. You guys know what I'm talking about...EVERY guy in a half-assed normal relationship has a healthy fear of his wife I think...we all know that if our wife is happy...our chances of being happy are greatly improved!! Am I wrong guys? Do you girls know we're a little bit scared of you...when it comes to sensitive subjects especially? What is your biggest fear in a relationship? I hope you all have a super day...  lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS FYI...on a serious note, this post is meant in the context of a relatively safe and happy relationship and is not meant to apply to the harsh reality of abuse and abusers that exist in this world.  |
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1/24/2007 6:31 am |
Nice post LT my friend [post 977684] [post 1673788] [post 1567265] [post 2508587] [post 2511504] [post 2589132] Are You Ready For........[post 2587359] Check it out & particpate!! The BHL Blog Interviews...[post 2597695] The BHL Blog Index.......[post 2594103]     
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1/24/2007 6:54 am |
I have actually tried to get my husband to try different things. Not really saying do things this way or that but say well you know I tried this years ago, so why don't we try it. The term you can't teach a old dog new tricks if he doesn't want to learn comes to mind LOL. Good Luck with it.
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you chicken shit?? the mind boggles.... Wannabe/Sexpot - which one do you want me to be? 
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1/24/2007 7:16 am |
when it's a healthy fear like that, dude, it's called survival instinct  i've found that the best place to talk about that is not in bed, after the same old thing...it's at the table, or while watching TV...you can talk about it in bed, but before you start gettin' jiggy... try this: honey, i really wanna make love to you...would you put on that cheerleader's outfit for me? i'll go get the bananas and chocolate sauce good luck, buddy King Nor XVIII  
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1/24/2007 7:35 am |
I'm a chicken shit! No matter what I suggest she says NO the first time, until she thinks about it, then she will try it. I remember the first vibrator I bought her, you would have thought I suggested eating her young, she loves toys now. For the ladies reading this, be careful because us men will stop suggesting new things to you because of the hassle and start suggesting with others who are more open to try new things and keep things exciting!!!!
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I love that kind of stuff..... During a frisky kiss walking into somewhere... my hand in his back pocket... For him to whisper something like that into my ear... ? Something he thinks would be hot... a place, an outfit, a position... I'd look at him and smile... then with my lips close... more breath than sound.... 'really?' And.... he would get it. Get the cheerleader outfit... the sex against the window in the highrise... the hooker in the prosecuter office.... he'd get it. Depending on the specifics.... he may not know when that cheerleader is going to be in his bed.... but, the others might take a bit more planning or heads up... Start talking boys... there are more women out there like me than your chicken chit butts realize.... xoxox
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1/24/2007 9:52 am |
Babe....walk up behind her as she's doing dishes (or some other such thing)...press against her, sliding your hands over her hips and up to her breasts, kissing her neck. Gently lead her away over her protests...take her in the bedroom, a massage (she's face down of course!), then guide her into doggy, use a LOT of clit stimulation to let her realize how wonderful it is that way...when/if she asks just tell her animal instinct took over and you couldn't keep your hands off of her. Ask her if she liked it...when she says "Yes! Let's do that again!" ask her if SHE has anything she wants to try. ALWAYS go for the "animal instinct" excuse...makes her hot...believe me! Feeling like your man can't keep his hands off you? Fugetaboutit! So sexy. And grab the damn brown towel yourself ya lazy sod!  benibluetwo XOXOXOXOXOX
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I fear rejection the most. All the above are great ideas. Hugs
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LT, before my awakening I think I was just the same as your wife. There were a lot of "Pull the nightie down when you're done, dear" nights. My man had the patience of Job though, and finally brought me home a toy. Psychologically speaking, it is a great idea to start being more romantic (always bearing in mind that any sudden change in husband behaviour is bound to provoke suspicion in this type of mind) and start making communication with her safe. Tell her about some of your fantasies, even if you couch it in terms of a dream you had. "Oh my god babe, last night I had the most amazing, erotic dream!" A few of the women here have given all of you men a key to our psyche: Ask what you can do for us. The truth is, we don't really want you in the kitchen getting in our way, but would it kill ya to offer to help!? Lol! In a lot of ways, you have to begin the courtship all over again. Maybe ask her for a date. Take her somewhere you've been before that she really enjoyed. Trust me on this one - women don't get into a rut about sex (or no sex) for the fun of it. Something in her life is making her repress her passion. Could be something that is missing or something that she is unhappy about. Find out what her passion is and feed it. (I'll pray fer yer sake it ain't scrapbooking or something like that!) There's hope yet. I mean, I'm a compete and total slut now and loving it! I get more insatiable every year that goes by. My man actually complains sometimes now that I don't let him get enough sleep! She may also be too fearful and shy to talk about any of this with you. So yes, you may have to be vulnerable and you may take a few hits. But it is so very worth it to have that passion and love back on a daily basis. ~xoxo~ 4play ~xoxo~ 4 Play
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1/24/2007 11:41 am |
lucky for me i dont fish for compliments, honest to god, but i do joke though and ask if "these jeans make me LOOK like I HAVE a butt?" lol....i have no fear in my relationship, why the hell worry?
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Babe....walk up behind her as she's doing dishes (or some other such thing)...press against her, sliding your hands over her hips and up to her breasts, kissing her neck. Gently lead her away over her protests...take her in the bedroom, a massage (she's face down of course!), then guide her into doggy, use a LOT of clit stimulation to let her realize how wonderful it is that way...when/if she asks just tell her animal instinct took over and you couldn't keep your hands off of her. Ask her if she liked it...when she says "Yes! Let's do that again!" ask her if SHE has anything she wants to try. ALWAYS go for the "animal instinct" excuse...makes her hot...believe me! Feeling like your man can't keep his hands off you? Fugetaboutit! So sexy. And grab the damn brown towel yourself ya lazy sod! Be an animal! Spice it up! xoxox
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No comment... ~she reads here~.... Muffy da Brat
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1/24/2007 12:09 pm |
i think a lot of people have that fear male and female..sometimes we bring up new positions to our partners and they ask why all of a sudden the change or who have u been talking to or who have you been with lately? I wanted my bf from the past to butt fuck me and he said why did u do that with someone else! maybe telling your partner you hear people talking or read something and u would like too try it! or ask her if she likes something else that you r not doing! put the idea of the change in her mind or just tell her during sex turn over!
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Ther is nothing to fear, but fear itself. ~if you tell her I said that, I'll deny it~
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1/24/2007 2:21 pm |
Good post!
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No comment... ~she reads here~.... Really? You guys are scared of little old us? Amazing what I am learning... Nice post, LT. 
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How about taking a trip just the two of you...maybe a weekend get away...to try and get in touch with the people you were instead of the people you have become... kind thoughts, Moonfire
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I don't know what to add,you about summed it up!!!  It's hard to talk to someone when you know they will either get jealous or pissed off.I've tried mentioning or hinting about swinging and get the same old "Am I not good enough for you" or "Don't you love me??"etc.,I have tried mentioning other things also and get "your sick" or she rolls her eyes and gives me the silent treatment(which is actually better than the swearing and screaming)  Good luck LustyRAWHIDE
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1/24/2007 4:57 pm |
when things went bad between my ex and me...i started to suggest some new things (we ONLY did missionary) i won't go into his responces here...but needless to say...he humiliated me...and i stopped trying
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1/24/2007 7:00 pm |
MY biggest fear is that my husband WON'T tell me what he wants to try or what he would really like....and...being bored...he goes out and finds someone WHO WILL do those things. HUGS~~~MANDY Always The Bitch
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1/24/2007 9:51 pm |
Good luck buddy-------- ~~~Have Condoms, Will Travel~~~  .......Stay Happy, Stay Safe, Stay Well........
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Thanks for your visit to my blog LT. Now onto your post! Yes I've always known men don't like to talk about anything, let alone sex. At least that was the way it was with every man in my life prior to Swallow. He has turned the tables on me completely, and for that I'll be eternally grateful. He loves to talk with me about anything, and has in fact taught me an awful lot about life, love and sex. Cheers, Skye PS Good luck with talking to your wife!   Blessed Be
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It's sad that guys have to be scared of bringing things up but you are very right..it's reality in a lot of relationships and most women DO know it. Right now my biggest fear in my relationship is...insecurity. Don't have a reason to be insecure...but there are days. Figure that will lessen the longer we are together. 
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I don't have one, so I know not how to comment... I did, however like the towel line! ~ AAS
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May I suggest that you really take a look at the fact that she asks you for feedback and you are not willing to give it to her? You know where you are uncomfortable is speaking your mind...let's open up that fifth chakra, beautiful one, and learn to speak your truth without anger or resentment. Those are the bites that give cause to all to shut down and not speak. Carry your ass down here to Norfolk and I'll teach you. In the meantime... May I also suggest that you can give her feedback without being unkind? You can. You can also be loving in your truth. You don't have to hit her over the head with an unkind hammer of truth. You could introduce her to what you do dream about without putting her in the position of having to ask you if you enjoyed. Trust me on this one...if she is asking you, she has a sense that you didn't enjoy it as you could have and is doing her best to communicate with you. Get creative...you can do it! Think about this one since you asked.... What or who is stopping you from setting the stage for something different? Food for thought! Taurus men are known for their somewhat kinky and sensuous streaks...have the honest conversation first with yourself and then a little less talk and alot more action could be called for with her. What would it hurt? Be the hero...you just might be surprised Now ...what about that tiedyed towel and the pad that keeps the bed dry in the midst of an overflow??? And ...a copy of David Deida's book..."Dear Lover" might do you more good than you could imagine also.... sending you love ...always {=} Just a little food for thought............. If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you... {=}
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...that seems odd...
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