Tit Cancer Saga goes on and on......
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Posted:Apr 13, 2016 1:27 pm
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2020 7:16 am
3448 Views
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.04.: It's been more than 8 incredibly stressful months since I got diagnosed with breast cancer. Since then, I've been shrinking a large lump, and then they found another lump  . The large lump has done well, on a combination of hormone therapy pills, and own anti-tumour offensive (mainly diet but many other things too). It has shrunk so much the surgery they are going to attempt will be much kinder to than what they originally said might have to be done (possibly a total tit-lop) . Soooh, I have been trashed by the hormone pills - a total nightmare; tit has been very brave, it's already been put through a lot.
22.04.: In and of the hospital on the day , they gave a cup of tea and some toast before they sent me home - with 1 incision in tit and 1 in armpit ( less than I expected!).
27.04.: Yep, tit is sore, swollen, bruised - but still hanging in there. I can't do much without it all hurting. tits are very, very fed up and have hung the Do Not Disturb notice, as the 's swollen can't cope with anything .
.05.: Biopsy results day:
1 good result - they are satisfied they removed the tumours completely.
1 very upsetting (for ) result - of the 4 lymph nodes they removed, test if there was any spread of cancer - had small deposits of cancer in them. 
.05.: on results day, I was told I can go swimming again  .
tit surgery looks AMAZING. It's a case of now you see the scar, soon you might not, because it's already healing up fast.
.05.: being allowed an official short holiday off hormone therapy pills - it feels wonderful.
27.06.: The hormone therapy holiday lasted weeks. I cried when it came an end. However, now 5 weeks into a 5-year sentence on Tamoxifen (which does the job a different chemical method), and so far stiff hands and occasionally neon-yellow ! are the main effects I've had - so, much better than before.
27.06.: However, I've been traumatised for many months now at the prospect of radiotherapy. head has been in total chaos and crisis about this for the last few weeks (almost all women manage to just get on and do it).
20.07.: Have carried a DIY knife-free but very painful brain surgery(!), and heartbrokenly started radiotherapy today. first of daily zaps. For me, it's stomach-churning, and I enjoyed the session a lot less than the bright radiography things were having such a jolly time pushing and poking and drawing on body before letting the machine do its worst.
31.07.: exhausted and sore after 8 zaps. On the downside, have 7 zaps and a whole lot of soreness and exhaustion still do. On the upside - next Tuesday, if I can keep the schedule without needing an extra break, the zaps will be over. Thank god for that !!
.08.: the last zap was 3 days ago. I finished on a real low - hurting from the accumulated radiotherapy damage, angry, upset... I was handed specialist burns gel before I left the hospital, and was assured skin would peel and split. I didn't believe it, as skin was holding up well. But it's happened ..pass the gel please  skin is dark pink, nipple is brown, and pissed off.
An acquaintance has told I should be grateful for the sessions of carpet-bombing (or roasting - whichever terminology has the result) of so much of healthy tissue, in the of helping save from a recurrence of the cancer. All I can say is the sooner they find less damaging methods - and these primitive, barbaric ways of doing it become part of history - the better...
22.08.: skin is still peeling, and this weekend, tit got a cluster of post-zap blisters. However, most of the burnt brown skin of nipple has peeled off, and - it's still pink-ish underneath .
When it's all sorted, tit should amazingly good, for a survivor of so much sh*t. I keep telling it it's SOOOH brave, and it won't be long before it should be OK, and tits can try and re-find the smile they have on their faces.
20/.. It's become obvious in the last few weeks, I have permanent damage caused by the radiotherapy. Can't mend permanent damage, so it's a case of what can be done reduce the effects. I can't stretch arm in various directions without it hurting, so I was told to do exercises and stretches and rub on pain relief gel. And poor tit is now rather swollen, because corner of lymphatic system has been trashed. So when no is looking, I'm having encase tit in tight garments try and squeeze the fluid. And do daily exercises/massage myself, try persuade the fluid drain in a different direction from what it has done all life. They say it can work . Hope so....
8/3/20: The pain when I stretch arm, is starting ease. The daily chest massage (which tho not unpleasant, is not fun) is keeping tit swelling down during the day, but it's usually swollen back up again the end of the day. It reminds of the myth of Sysiphus, angered the Gods (I don't think I've angered them ) and was punished by having push a boulder up a hill - for it fall the bottom again - forever. As people say to , it could be worse, but sad for tit it has go through this, and the thought of this possibly every day for the rest of life is somewhat depressing..
May 20: Having told the hospital I can't cope with the nightmare of the hormone therapy, I was expected to do 5 years of - I'm spending 2 weeks in Aberdeen to do intravenous mistletoe therapy. It's been well regarded in Europe for 0 years, as a possible anti-cancer agent. It's not possible to say how successful it is, but I have so much belief in it, it could work as a very effective placebo medicine for me. I've been taught how to self-inject with mistletoe, and will do at home maybe for several years.
October 20 : Had bad pain in armpit during late summer. worried the cancer might have started re-grow. Saw GP and hospital doctor, both said they couldn't find any sign of a lump. Had mammogram x-ray 3 weeks ago.
Today I got the best news I've had all year - the x-ray didn't find anything. It's not a guarantee, mammograms can miss things - but it's a massive relief.
I was also told by the hospital doc that the tit swelling should improve - contrary to what I'd been told when it started. Oh joy. I think it already has started to improve - tit and I are soooh pleased.
New Year 20: I will make a huge effort keep on doing all the things I've been doing try and prevent a recurrence (exercise, keep weight down, keep on doing triple whammy diet I've been doing since August , soon after I got diagnosed (VERY low , low dairy intake, and very low alcohol intake), lots of supplements, and self-injecting 2 x week with mistletoe, and I will try VERY hard to reduce my stress level.
And I will try to start living a normal-ish life again, and re-learn how to smile, laugh... - I need some with . 
Hmm, 's a lot of early Year's resolutions....
..November20: the tits got good news from their 2nd year Xray (mammogram) after surgery: 'No evidence of recurrence (of the cancer)' . So they've now got stay free of recurrence for the rest of their life. 23% of women with a similar diagnosis them, get a recurrence in their lifetime. So the tits and I will have be extra-clever and make sure they stay in the 77% don't.
August 2019: I recently had a private 'thermal imaging' scan of tits (the 3rd year I've done this since I finished the cancer treatment). An area of concern was found on one side. (A raised, or unusual pattern of heat indicates 'something' is happening, but not what or whether it's benign or cancerous). With previous cancer, I'd be an idiot not be concerned cancer may be returning. More scans of various kinds, NHS and private, due in the autumn .
So I'm very stressed, but I'm now strictly back on disciplined regime which I had let go somewhat in the past year .
//19: annual mammogram and hands-on check found nothing, but I pointed a lump I could feel. 2 days ago I got the biopsy result of it, and I'm told it is cancerous. I had a whole body CT scan the next day.
19//19: the CT scan didn't find any cancer anywhere else in body, so that's good..But now I've been asked have an MRI scan of tits in early January. It's the most detailed scan available. I do know that the standard treatment 2nd time around is a tit-lop, but they know I desperately do not want that. Maybe I'll have become a 'health tourist', and try to find another country where the treatment is less barbaric. I can confirm that there's nothing like a dose of cancer, for pouring cold water on your libido .
1/1/2020: Happy decade you. I'm busy trying kill the tumour by starving it of its favourite foods. This requires a huge amount of discipline. However, over the Xmas/ Year holiday, worst food sin has been a Greggs sausage roll and 2 large packets of crisps!! I don't think I'm deluding myself - I think it's shrunk already. Hope so!
I've had almost no physical with anyone in the 4 years since the first cancer diagnosis. I need kisses and hugs and a gentle re-introduction what life should be all about.
Axxx
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