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Sunday Reflections 08/16/2020  

tulsaliza 64F  
5563 posts
8/16/2020 2:20 pm
Sunday Reflections 08/16/2020

It's been a difficult week. I think the pandemic and my mental health are clashing something majorily and not in a good direction. I'll be okay. I don't allow myself to get down too far for too long.

I am blaming this down and depressed mood on the pandemic because life is never going to be as footloss and fancy free as it once was. I have to think now before I go and about. I feel the need to have specific reasons that I go out and no more spontaeous<b> shopping </font></b>trips to my favorite stores because there isn't much merchandise and it really isn't worth the time and effort to venture forth.

I have been a bit depressed over the fact that I may be regulated to vanilla relationships with men because there are so few truly nasty men that I can trust now that on my own. not going to say I will never come across another nasty man to enjoy some sexual adventures, because they are there, it's just whether or not our pathes will cross or if I'll even be in the mood to venture forth. it's a lot of work to develope those kind of friendships/relationships and I don't know if I want to put that much effort into it all.

The boyfriend is still around. We've had dinner a few more times and have deep conversations but nothing other than a good hug has happened physically between us. I am hoping to get a kiss when we get together next. And the crazy part is going along with it all. I want to see how long it takes to actually get this guy in bed. Vanilla is such a slow process. Arghhhhhh!!!!!

The good news is that all of my adulting may be paying off and enabling to finance my patio/backyard oasis while still alive!!! I've wanted to put in a swim spa and tub for years. I may be able to do just that here in the next months if able to swing the aspects. What started as my curiosity to see if I am able to qualify for financing on my own without anyone's help may be coming into fruition. Hopefully I haven't jinxed it by even writing or mentioning it outloud but pretty confident that I will have a concrete answer in the next couple of weeks.

So, life is what it is right now. The days run into the one another and I have a bit of trouble knowing what day it is. It's a crazy life right now and finding one's way is tricky and somewhat discouraging at times. But hopeful that life will better as time passes...who knows, I may even get to enjoy my boyfriend's cock again only this time knowing what my pussy purpose is and definitely wanting his cock purpose inside of my pussy purpose!!!! LOL

Have a great work week ahead!!!

Pleasure's a sin, and sometimes sin's a pleasure...
- Lord Byron, Don Juan

CleavageFan4U 65M  
69374 posts
8/17/2020 5:35 am

Things ARE getting bad when retail therapy is failing!

Does the "BF" have ED and is thus afraid to start something (he thinks) he can't finish? Any way to lead the discussion in the direction of that and alternatives?

Best wishes on that backyard oasis - seems like a PERFECT play spot to me.

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tulsaliza replies on 8/17/2020 9:17 am:
Yes, retail therapy is failing so I've got to find something else that makes me happy in similar manner.

I can honestly say that I have not broached anything regarding sex with the BF. I think it's time to take a stroll down that path before I go completely sexually nuts and not in a good way. I don't want to scare him but I've got to have something encouraging to keep me interested. I can honestly say I had not thought this all through as to what I would do if I reconnected with him. Good grief!!!!

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