|
|
|
| Thank you for taking the time to visit my world - my life journey in words. I invite you to follow along with me as I life each day fully, with no pretentions. What you will find here is a sharing of my innermost thoughts, my happiness, my frustrations, my sadness, my fears, my oddities, and, so much more. I am quite happy with who and what I am, as my life is ever so blessed. Like all of us, I have many different sides. I don't feel the need to justify myself to anyone, not in the slightest. While I am not everyone's cup of tea, common courtesy and respect is expected, not only to myself, but also all others who may share their views/experiences on my page. There is no tolerance for judgments or drama here - the practice of FUCKTARDISM is strongly prohibited. As the saying goes, "Misery Luves Company". If this is YOU, please take your circus elsewhere, as I only allow good, healthy stuff into my life. |
|
|
Risky Behavior ...
|
Posted:Mar 2, 2016 8:17 pm
Last Updated:Mar 6, 2016 5:42 am
7292 Views
|
How many times have you met a total stranger, spent all of 1 hour having a drink, if that, then went off to some hotel room. Regardless of whether or not you have a "safe call" set up. Do you even know what a safe call is?
For the last several days, I have been thinking of a g/f of mine ... may her soul rest in peace. She was taken far too young at 28 years of age.
She was a great girl - smart - sweet - working her way up the career ladder. She was also the kind of girl that men would spot across a crowded bar. Or, if she was dancing, they couldn't take their eyes off of her. 5'8 - long blonde hair - not a flaw to be seen. Every time we went out together, I felt as tho I was invisible. Mite as well have been for all intense and purposes. I would just hang out and have a few beers, listen to the band while she was off being the center of her world. Most times, she ended up getting shit-faced, puking somewhere. So many nites I remember holding her beautiful blonde hair out of her face while she hurled into the porcelain goddess. So many nites she went home with men she just met - or a bunch of them. For so long, I tried to "reason" with her bout her that she was heading on a downward spiral. While I didn't understand her behavior, I accepted it. She was my friend - we accept people in their entirely - we don't get to pick and choose their qualities. We either accept them as a whole, or we don't accept them at all ...
She was asked to present at a conference out of state - a huge boost for her career. We went out to celebrate. She drank till she got sick, left with someone she knew all of bout 15 minutes. This was the last time that I ever saw her.
In the morning, she got on a plane, for what should have been an amazing chance to advance her career. The rest of this is based on what could be pieced together, as the investigation unfolded ...
She attended a conference during the day - had dinner and drinks with friends. Everyone called it a nite. Of course, except her. She ended up going to a club by herself. While there, 2 guys struck up a conversation with her. Knowing her the way I did, chances are, as soon as they started swooning over her, she was putty in their hands. Accepting an invitation to leave with them and go to a hotel where they partied quite heavily ...
Bout a week after she left came the call. She was found dead in a bathtub, strangled. This was really hard to deal with. I remember thinking if only I had been able to get thru to her - if only this - if only that. This ate at me for a long time. And, oh, the guilt, big time.
After a period of reflection time, I realized that it wasn't up to me. She had to help herself before anyone else could. Short of abandoning her, it was out of my hands. And, there was no way I was willing to do this.
Please, just be conscious of the risks that you take. Practice at least some due diligence before you engage in certain behavior. If you don't use safe calls (which aren't always going to save your life, but, at least it's something), perhaps you mite want to think bout this. Leave all the information on a piece of paper, like under your keyboard sticking out. Gawd forbid that you go missing, at least it's a start. And, think of the people in your life who will mourn your death. Your family, your friends, your co-workers. Instill the practice of playing safe into your life. Instill common sense into your offspring, your siblings. Use rational thinking - help those in your life to use rational thinking. Do you want to become the next statistic or know someone who has? ...
Think with your mind, not with your body parts. Use common sense. Be responsible. You could be saving your own life - or that of someone you know and luv ...
|
|
15
Comments
|
|
First Phone 3-Some ... :)
|
Posted:Feb 27, 2016 9:00 pm
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2016 11:57 am
6842 Views
|
I met an amazing couple online. We are doing the ground work - building a great foundation as friends first. Of course, they aren't really local. No surprise there!
They asked if I wanted to share a new experience with them - something they had never done before. When they told me what it was, they wanted to have sex while I listened and talked to them. Of course, it was not like we would go rite into this, which absolutely wouldn't work for me. I didn't have to do anything to myself I didn't want to.
It didn't take but less than a NY minute to be like for fucking sure - LOL - I am so in! Being open to new experiences, sexually or otherwise, if so liberating! As we got closer to our planned chat date nite, I was getting somewhat nervous, yet totally stoked!
I called them at our agreed upon time - heard their voices for the first time. As I do have a major voice fetish, the sound of someone's voice may be a deal-breaker for me. The sound has to get into my head - I need to be able to feel it physical - mentally. So happy that I liked the rhythm and tone of both of their voices.
We chatted bout normal life things, which is part of any relationship. It can't just be sex - I tire of that and get bored - that won't keep my attention. I need to be stimulated on every level - in every way.
The conversation grew very organically - in the natural order. There was no real plan. I do so adore the concept of fluidity.
He started by going down on her. Closed my eyes, I could feel her moans of pleasure ... my mind's eye has formed a great visualization. Asking her how it felt, she was like "OMFG". This went on for bout 10 minutes or so. Then, I found out that she was an anal virgin, that they had using toys to get her ready for actual cock penetration. Found this too crazy, as I am an anal virgin. Pretty much totally unexplored territory for me. She told me everything he was doing to her - so totally hot! He started fucking her and I could hear the sounds of the bed. He then turned her round and lubed up her ass - it was time. I could hear the winces of pain spiked with pleasure in her voice. Talked to her bout what it felt like - reminding her to breathe. It didn't take long before his cock was completely in her ass. Gasps of pleasure was heard in her voice. He was telling her how good her tight ass felt. I was totally turned the fuck on, tho, I didn't masturbate. It just didn't feel rite to me - this was for them, a special moment they chose to share with me.
After we shared phone cuddle time - LOL - great concept! It was an amazing new experience for me. Not sure what's going to happen with them. Taking things one day at a time and being very much open to all good stuff in my life ...
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
Morning Masturbation Memories ...
|
Posted:Feb 26, 2016 7:00 pm
Last Updated:Feb 27, 2016 7:36 pm
6636 Views
|
As traces of the morning sun come thru the blinds, in that half sleep state, thoughts of you run thru my mind. As they slowly fade, in the quiet of the morning, I wonder in excitement at what the Universe will bring to me on this new and beautiful day that I am blessed to have ...
I head to the shower - enjoying the feel of the water cascading down upon me. Let thoughts of us - of what we used to be invade my mind. The way you used to kiss me, that magnetic current that forever pulled our lips together. The way our bodies used to mesh together - the way our souls used to breath each other in ...
Forever giving into my insatiable desires, I let the water flow down onto my lustful nakedness, my hands run down my body, inwards, over the curve of my hips, back out again, down to my milky white thighs. Back up to my full breasts. Pulling at my nipple piercings, lite gasps of pleasure escape my lips. I tug on them harder - what were barely heard moans of delite a few seconds ago now echo. Reaching for the adjustable shower head, I angle it down towards my kitty and lean up against the wall. Waves of excitement rush over me as the stream of water trickles down my inner thighs. Holding open my delicate petals, the warmth massages my rosebud. I maneuver my hips - find that special spot - the one that you used to be so fond of. The one that makes me cum over and over, so much that I become my own slip and slide. Oh, good lordy, how I did adore the way you slid my piercing up and down with your tongue - the way it made me giggle ...
Grabbing for my vibe like a bitch in heat - can't get to it fast enuf to fill my wanton desires. I turn it on and place it on my nipples. Such an odd sound the vibrations make when in contact with my piercings, which adds to the sensitivity in my now hard nipples. Sliding my pretty vibe down my yummy - slowly - enjoying the feel of the pulsations on my wet skin ...
Down to my girly bits, ever so litely, I trace along my labia. Barely felt along my tiny opening - up and down - side to side - teasing myself. Gently, I insert the vibe, in and out. With each stroke a little faster. My tiny fingers massaging my clit with abandon - teetering on the edge of release. My body - my mind - in a state of frenzy. I slow down the pace of the vibe and my fingers. Calming my breathing, I let the water engulf me ...
Closing my eyes, remembering how your touch once felt, I start fucking myself. Rubbing my tiny button - so eager to get off. While calling out your name, waves of pleasure invade my body as I cum again and again ... ---------------- Sometimes, memories can be bittersweet ...
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
Superbowl Sunday ... :)
|
Posted:Feb 8, 2016 7:45 pm
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2016 4:04 pm
7261 Views
|
Went to a Superbowl gathering at my D/s Mommy's place. I haven't seen her since the day of my moms funeral a few months ago (and her family) she spend the nite to be with me and left the next morning. This is the longest we have been apart since we began our "Mommy/little girl" relationship dynamic - 2 and 1/2 years. She is an amazing woman and I am ever so blessed to have her in my life.
Uuummm - I am probably along the lines of hating sports - LOL - too funny! Except for like wrestling - "sports entertainment" ... I just go the company, food, laffs. I adore spending time with my D/s family and friends. Of course, I brought my laptop, tablet, I-POD. And, my coloring books, markers and crayons.
We played Cards Against Humanity - our favorite game these days. I won again - GO ME! Apparently, I am incredibly un-politically incorrect, along the lines of sick and twisted at times. Okies with this.
Hope everyone had a fun nite and kept safe ...
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
25 Current Favorite Songs ... :)
|
Posted:Feb 1, 2016 7:31 pm
Last Updated:May 7, 2016 7:23 pm
7521 Views
|
I seem to be addicted to these lately - there are worse things to be addicted to. So, yeah, I am pretty "normal" ...
My OCD wants me put these in alphabetical order - LOL - strongly resisting this urge ...
1. Seether - Fake It 2. Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Luv 3. Buck Cherry - Crazy Bitch 4. Rhianna - SOS 5. Nelly - Getting Hot In Here 6. Cher - Gypies Tramps & Thieves 7. Frida - I Know There's Something Going On 8. Sade - No Ordinary Luv 9. Dido - White Flag 10. Carole King - It's Too Late 11. Van Morrison - Moon Dance 12. Fuel - Falls On Me 13. Deep Purple - Perfect Strangers 14. Everlast - What It's Like 15. America - With No Name 16. Carolina Liar - I'm Not Over 17. Duran Duran - Come Undone 18. Madonna - Papa Don't Preach 19. Cameo - Word Up 20. Los Bravos - Black Is Black 21. ELO - Diary Of Horace Wimp 22. Christina Aquilera - Genie In A Bottle 23. Natasha Beddingtonfield - Unwritten 24. Samantha Fox - Touch Me 25. Talking Heads - Psycho Killer
My OCD is yelling at me to line up the numbers ... dam system won't let me ...
What are some of your favorite songs these days?
|
|
11
Comments
|
|
Weekend Unwind ... :)
|
Posted:Jan 31, 2016 9:02 pm
Last Updated:Jul 7, 2016 5:06 pm
7543 Views
|
It's been an awesome, tho, tiring weekend.
Did my nails on Friday nite for the weekend. Tried out my new overcoat blue/pink sparkles. Yes - it does glow in the dark!
Ran round on Saturday totally crazy trying to find Wild Berry winecoolers ... you would think I was asking for unicorn towing a rainbow - LOL - too funny! Need to stock up, as they seem to be a rarity here. Then onto to Walmart to pick out a gift for the birthday party I was going to. And, driving the obstacle snow pile course.
Had a blast at the party - met like 15ish new peeps! Plus, I got help getting my nipple twisty thingys in.
So, apparently, when I pack for an overnite outing, I think that I am going to be trixie-napped and taken to some kind of year pilgrimage - LOL - too funny! Between my toybag, any alcohol, my overnite bag and my pillow(s), stuffie(s) and blankets ... crazy stuff!!
Barely got any sleep last nite and had a slew of stuff to do. Which, of course, didn't go as planned. When I got home, I realized I forgot my misting fan for my hotflashes. I can't live without this. Called my D/s sister to see if she could stop by and drop it off. Only to find she wasn't coming home and going straight to work tomorrow. Went to Walmart to get another one and the guy like just looked at me when I asked for it - LOL - I know what he was thinking. For fucks sake, it's Winter and you want a fan?! Yeppers - no brainer that they didn't have anymore. I had to drive all the way back to my friends and home again. I can't be without this! Going to have to buy at least 2 more of these the next time. One for upstairs, one for downstairs, one for my car. Need to be prepared ...
Came home and did some chores and bulk cooking. Getting ready for the new week and all the good stuff it shall bring.
Hope all had a great weekend!
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
The Postman & His Personalized Note ... :)
|
Posted:Jan 27, 2016 8:11 pm
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2016 4:07 am
7604 Views
|
Yeah, kinda sounds like the title of a porn flick gone bad ...
When I got home from work on Tuesday, my Hot Topic package was at my back gate entrance. YAY - totally stoked bout my new nipple jewelry!!!
As I approached the package, I could see my pile of mail rubberbanded together and on top - not an odd occurrence when we receive a package. So, I lift the mail and see this writing on the box ...
"Your mail service is suspended until you remove the snow from round the mailbox and to either side of it" ... with a little pretty diagram ...
So, I think to myself, this: uuuummm - that's nice. I wonder where they expect me to put it. And, it's not just "my" snow ... it's all the snow that the plow took off the road as they cruised by. Well, yeah, I'm bout a bunch of fucked ... usually there is kissing involved first ...
Today, I started shoveling the "path to mail redemption" - LOL - maybe by Saturday penance will be paid ...
EDIT: As of 1/29 mail service has been restored - YAY! After Mother Nature went into a rage with the snow, she is now rather calm. Temps has been in the high 50's and 60's.
|
|
13
Comments
|
|
Jonas: January 2016 Blizzard ...
|
Posted:Jan 25, 2016 9:03 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2016 3:03 pm
7384 Views
|
22+ inches of snow totally jacked up my weekend world. The aftermath is going to have a somewhat of an impact for weeks to come.
Lots of trees in my yard with huge branches that flow into the power lines at times. Losing power is always a concern. The last time this happened - out for a week. After day 3 and 55 in the house - dirty - no real food - almost numb - LOL - I broke and agree to go to a hotel with our doggie. It was awesome to eat real food again (extended stay's rock out) and be clean. 10 days later, power was finally restored.
Anywho, hitting Walmart for snow shovels on Friday and flashlites, stocking up on essentials. I learned that while I can put batteries in a vibe in the dark with my eyes closed - LOL - flashlite batteries give me issues with my eyes open and power ... too funny!
My hubby was orginally supposed to be away for the nite, but he came home to be with me, which make me very happy. I don't have many fears - being trapped at home by myself with no power and unable to "escape" makes me very uneasy. Saturday we hung out, watched the snow fall, dinner all the normal stuff. I built some, Netflix and did some coloring. Wrote some too.
By 9:30 pm, when my doggie had to go out, I tried to open the back screen door and the snow poured onto the kitchen floor. Had to go out the front and walk round and shovel a path from the door and the steps. She had a hard time getting round in the snow - we lost track of her. Finally, she made her way back to the back door, absolutely covered in snow from rolling round in it.
Sunday morning when I woke up, the snow had stopped - no power loss - YAY! It was a pretty winter wonderland out!!! Tho, when it was time to dig out and walk thru the snow, this was not so pleasant. Not at all. The snow was past my knees - LOL - I could barely move. Plus, I am like a walking klutz on wheels. My hubby called me a "hog on ice" - too funny!!!
Living on a snow emergency street has it's advantages - one of the first streets for the snow plow. However, the down side is that the snow gets thrown rite onto the edge of our drive, making it twice as much to be shoveled. By the time we were able to get the cars out safely it was almost 4 hours.
We won't be seeing our lawn or yard for quite awhile, nor half of our mailbox. We can barely get out the back door - the deck is a vision of white. As, is everything else. And, I won't be getting into the garage any time soon either. During the day, it melts some, then refreezes overnite. The morning and nite rush hour can be somewhat dangerous.
Born and raised in Philly and I have never seen it this bad before. Mother Nature was pissed - probably some dude - LOL - too funny! Tho, I suspected something like this was going to happen. On X-Mas, it was close to 70 degrees. Crazy stuff!!
I am just thankful that we didn't lose power and that no damage occurred. Oh - rite - that I didn't have to pack us up for a hotel. That totally fucking sucked big time ... not in a good way ...
Things are slowing getting back to normal. Of course, normal being a relative term ...
Hope all were safe during the storm!
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
Tempered With Patience ...
|
Posted:Jan 24, 2016 7:50 pm
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2018 11:10 am
6858 Views
|
Written by mstrixietrixster ... May not be reused or republished in whole or in part without the author's expressed, written consent ...
Haven't yet never met you Your touch warms by body The heat blazes off my skin Scorching my exposed flesh
Haven't yet never smelled you Your scent cascades over me Draped upon me like a blanket Surrounding me in your shelter
Haven't yet never tasted you Your flavor invades my mouth Your lips meeting mine Savoring every previous drop
Haven't yet never clearly seen you Your imprinted in my mind's eye Staring in devotion and adoration Realizing the power you have over me
Haven't yet never heard you Your voice speaks to me My soul listens intently To your every command
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
Plan B ... :)
|
Posted:Jan 19, 2016 7:50 pm
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2016 8:57 pm
7237 Views
|
So, my long weekend got a little jacked up due to injury. Sadly, my D/s Mommy broke her foot and wasn't able to come over the weekend - BOO - totally sucks!
I resorted to plan B ... continuing on with the reorganization of my entire house - including basement and garage. The thing is that my OCD & ADD don't play well together - 2 sandboxes. Each is adamant on this! Which does make this project somewhat problematic. Plus, I did a lot of bulk cooking. like to feed people - must be the Italian in me. No one will ever starve - that includes repairmen and stuff too.
Watched some Netflix and did some building - jigsaw puzzle freak here! Reorganized all my pics. Wrote a little bit.
Spending Monday thrifting was the best! I have a "thrifting routine" which I do not deviate from. McDonalds drive thru for breakfast - the only time I ever eat there. Onto the Goodwill Outlet - pay by the pound. This is so fucking awesome! I find great brand name bargains. Like lite up stripper shoes for 2 bucks. Or, skool girl skirts for like a buck. Leather dress for 10 bucks. I found a slew of stuff - like 3 pairs of shoes - 1 pair of flip flops. Oh, and a new pair of thigh high boots - GO ME! Spend like 409 bucks and got 2 trashbags full of stuff! My I-POD - my constant companion!
Went to the Reading Outlets and stopped at the Neiman Marcus clearance outlet = one of those ritzy places. Actually found some stuff within my price range - 60% off of marked downs helps!
Onto Aunt Annie's and got a pretzel - so bad that was. Tho, so yummy! Of course, a lemonade. Claire's and also the Hot Topic Outlet.
Didn't get to the last place that I wanted which is this awesome set of thrift stores. They take up almost the whole strip mall. It was getting late - needed food - LOL - and a nap!
And, I did two good deeds. Let some dude get in front of me in line, cause he only had 1 item, whereas I had a slew. Plus, I gave a homeless person a few bucks.
Missing my D/s Mommy a lot, tho, I made the best out not seeing her. Always need a plan B ...
Hope everyone enjoyed their holiday weekend!
|
|
10
Comments
|
|
Weekend Recap ... :)
|
Posted:Jan 10, 2016 8:04 pm
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2016 7:14 pm
6995 Views
|
This is the first weekend in which I went out and bout since my mom died. Really need to get back into the loop ...
My weekend actually started on Thursday nite - LOL - sometimes an early start is good.
Went to fire play massage class. It was okies, as I already knew pretty much everything she said. And, then some. Seemed to be mostly nillas and swingers. Not a lot of us BDSM'ers. Now I am craving to be "set on fire". Maybe this coming weekend!
After that, I played with my g/f and her man. I knew she was a Sadist - tho - didn't plan on him being so much of one. So not complaining, had am amazing 2 hour scene. If I had eaten more earlier in the nite, I could have went for longer.
Uuummm - I had no idea my body could "flip" the way it did - LOL - too funny! Got some new pretty bite marks - YAY! My boobs are still somewhat sore. Had to take my piercings out for a few days. It's crazy how they not only look weird without them, but, they also feel weird to the touch. So used to having them in - feels like a part of me is missing. Odd I know. Well, then again, apparently, I am pretty odd.
Friday nite I watched Netflix, did some building, chilled and chatted. Enjoy some "me down time".
Saturday nite went to a comedy show where one of my g/f's was performing. It was the first time I ever saw her - she rocked the fuck out!!
Sunday was chores, which I am okies with. Then, dreaded food shopping. As much as a kitchen I am, dread having to do to these places. Feel better when I saw that I saved almost 100 bucks on my food order.
It was really a "perfect" weekend ... until ...
While unpacking my toybag on Sunday, I discovered that one of my favorite toys was missing. One of my vibrating tongue vibes that doubles as a slapper. I luv this fucking toy so much that I had two. Just the way it works fed my OCD and I had to be able to use them on my boobs at the same time. Must be something bout this toy - I have already replaced a set of these just like 3 months ago. This news was pretty traumatic for my OCD - LOL - this toy screams "you need 2 of me". In total thus far, I have spend 200 bucks. Soon, to be another 50. Sucks, but, my OCD will be a happy camper. As an expected surprise - found my panties - LOL - thought for sure they were gone. My g/f picked them up and shoved them in my bag.
Then, UGH, pretty sure my I-POD has gone missing. Just realized it a few hours ago. Had it food shopping in my hoodie. Had it at checkout. Hopefully, it's somewhere in my car. If not ... double UGH ... well, that's going to fucking suck big time. Tho, I am not willing to live without this device. Yeppers, I am definitely addicted to music. Hoping for the best when I search my car!
Except for losing things - life is good!
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
Edit: found my I-POD ... thank fucking gawd ... YAY for me!
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
2015 Reflections ...
|
Posted:Jan 1, 2016 8:36 pm
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2016 4:26 pm
6543 Views
|
2015 was a crazy year - apparently this is every year?! ...
*My hubby finally got a job after 2 years. There is no loyalty in the corporate world, evidence by his 15 years of service. He happens to have a fucking moral compass - makes makes one a liability. Thank gawd we didn't have to relocate. No way I would fit in in Cali - Texas - Louisiana - or bumbs-fuck-ville anywhere else. Plus, we moved my mom in and we had to take her into consideration - there was no way she would have been able to make a significant move due to her health issues.
*My mom died in November here at the house. She took her last breath in my arms. It was so awesome having her here for the last year of her life. Tho she didn't understand why I choose to live as I do, she always accepted it, respected my choices. She adored my hubby's girlfriend, who is my D/s Mommy - Saturday mornings they would be chatting away having coffee before me or the hubby even got up. Then, the 3 of us would talk and play on our tablets before my Mommy and me make breakfast. My mom luved our friends, especially my D/s sisters. They were like her daughters. She was always a "mom" - even at my age - helping me fix my clothes - LOL - especially before I had a date. Commenting that "maybe you will like this one". My doggie still wait for her outside her bedroom door. I knew the time was getting close - more concerned with the manner in which she would die rather then that she was going to. No suffering for her - for this I am grateful. Talk to her every morning when I wake up, thruout the day, at nite before I go to bed. Missing her terribly, tho, her spirit forever lives in this house.
*My D/s family and friend base grew somewhat - so blessed to have great peeps in my life. Lots of fetish nites, game nites, private parties, barbecues. I luv living my life with slim to nil considerations - it suits me well.
*Started a new job which I adore - my pseudo family rock out! A 2 and 1/2 hour interview and I walked out with a key. So funny how I dread food stores, considering I do some of the food shopping. Think I should take an update basic math course - They shove all the numbers under the little bracket thingy - LOL - whatever happened to long division?!
*Got my heart severed into tiny pieces - wanted to cut it out with a machete. Never wanted to feel it again. I don't understand why men (and women) have to lie, lead others on. Why do some feel it's okies to play games with other's emotions, with their hearts?! So much deception. While I have finally recovered, my trust level sucks and I am ever so guarded. Fearful that if I do find what I am seeking, that I will let it slip thru my fingers out of being so jaded.
*Struggled with being an Empath - A LOT - can't seem to find that balance. It's difficult being so emotionally in tune with others that you sometimes let them treat you not so kindly in order not to hurt their feelings. Or, in order not to tell them they are rude, ignorant and have no manners. In short - call then a stone cold FUCKTARD.
*Made some great new relationships in my life which continue to strengthen with each day. I luv being a people person - making others smile and laff. Being a bright lite that shines in their life and their into mine. All bout bringing all that is healthy and good into my life.
All in all, 2015 was a good year. Looking forward to the new and improved 2016 version ...
|
|
7
Comments
|
|
How I Am Coping ...
|
Posted:Dec 14, 2015 6:54 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2015 2:02 pm
6855 Views
|
Thanksgiving was really hard with my moms death so recent. It's almost a month since she died in my arms. Every day when I wake up I go in what was her room and say good morning. Every day before I go to bed I say nite to her. Talk to her all the time - sharing all the things that are going on in my life. I am very open to the paranormal, having had quite a few experiences thruout my life. Her spirit is forever here in so many ways. The last time I got ready for a date, I could hear her ... "maybe you will actually like this one" - LOL - way too funny! My doggie still looks for her, with her favorite toy, Dino The Dinosaur. She sits outside her door - open or closed - tho doesn't go in.
My support system, both real time and otherwise is a gawdsend - I really couldn't be more blessed to have such an amazing extended family and friends. My inlaws drove up from GA the Sunday after Thanksgiving and spend 5 days here with us. It was awesome seeing them, as it's been 3 years, it was very much bittersweet.
My work family has been amazing, giving me off all the I needed. Went back last week - it was really good to be back into my routine. One of my pint size companions told me this: "Don't be sad - you mom is sleeping in heaven with my grandmom" ... this make me cry. Then, he said how much he missed me and glad I was back. His mom felt the same way - evidenced by the fact that their frig was a stink bomb - LOL - and me going to the food store for them racking up a huge bill.
There is still so much to take care of. Most days I am okies. Tho, Saturday was a bit of a challenge doing thank you cards. It just doesn't sound rite - so weird - thank you cards in the same breath as death. Last Thursday was my worse day since her funeral - just couldn't pull myself together.
It's a new week - my life goes on. This is what expected of me, this is the rite thing to do. My mom was indeed a strong and brave woman. She always said that "I am very much my mothers " ... I will always be so grateful that she instilled these qualities, and more, in me ...
|
|
15
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (trixietrixster) use [blog trixietrixster] in your messages.
|
|
Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
201
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|