jealousy...
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Posted:Oct 22, 2011 2:33 am
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2015 1:24 pm
21848 Views
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jealousy...
I was feeling insecure
You might not want me
Anymore...
"Jealous Guy"
John Lennon
I was never much of a jealous guy. I was probably too lucky. I was generally happy with what I had. My neighbor's grass didn't appear greener. Granted, I was blessed with a lot in my life. But that's such a relative thing, you know.
There was one notable exception. And it left its mark on me.
I was a freshman in college... I was far away from home. I was far from naive and far from a virgin. But I had this silly romantic notion. That I would meet "the one". That I would fall madly in love with someone. That she would fall just as madly in love with me. And we would live happily ever after. Silly, I know... I was young. I saw my whole life ahead of me.
I thought I had found her. We started our relationship on Valentine's Day. To my wide eyes it was a sign. How more romantic could you get? She was unlike anyone else I had met. She was so different from me. Came from a background that was almost the opposite... and yet there it was. The sparks were flying. And the sex... The sex was better than anything I had experienced to that day. More than this... We were living in the same dormitory. So we were practically living together. For the first time in my life I felt like an adult. And probably as happy as I could be.
It didn't last very long. Back then I couldn't understand why she broke up with me. There was nothing I could do about it. Of course, it hurt. A lot. But I could deal with it. Or so I thought.
One evening I was looking out my window. The first green leaves that had shyly appeared on the branches of those bare trees had now grown. And then I saw her... I saw her at her window. Sitting on her bed. Kissing another guy. Then turning and pulling the curtains. I froze. I sat at my room-mate's rocking chair. And just sat there. Staring out at the distance. God knows for how long. For the first time in my life I was jealous. I wanted to be that guy. I wanted to do what he was doing. Kissing her. Holding her. I wanted to be the one she would draw the curtains for. Just like I was up until then...
It was one fo the worst feelings of my life.
My room-mate came into the room and saw me petrified. "What's wrong with you?", he said. "Nothing", I replied. I was in no mood to explain what had just happened. "Well, the guys and I are going out for drinks. Get your Greek ass ready and let's get out of here". "Eh... not tonight", I answered, "you guys go ahead without me".
My roomie left. I just sat there. At his rocking chair. Playing every sappy song I could think of. Doing absolutely nothing but stare out that window. I refused to allow a tear to roll down my cheek. And I managed that. But inside my heart was breaking.
The evening ended rather unceremoniously. At some point I just got up and went to bed. But before I did, I made a promise to myself. That I will never let myself feel that way again. That I will never be jealous. That I will never want what someone else has. And that I will be grateful for what is given to me.
Yes. I have been hurt again. My heart has been broken again since then. Not just once. But to this day, I have kept the promise I gave myself.
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18
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nostalgia...
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Posted:Oct 19, 2011 9:44 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2012 3:09 pm
24012 Views
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nostalgia...
Even without you
My arms fold about you
"So in love"
Cole Porter ...one of my favorite lyricists of all time.
I have often wished I lived in the past. I wear very old-fashioned clothes. I wear my hair in a very boring cut. Sometimes I wish I lived in Victorian London. Other times in Paris during the turn of the century. Yes, that means the turn of the 19th century to the 20th. Or maybe in America in the 1950s... when life was so simple. Perhaps even the late 60s... when life was anything but simple... but oh-so-exciting.
I listen to old music... and by old, I don't mean the Beatles or the Stones... (who are of course among my favorites)... but Cole Porter. Glenn Miller. Benny Goodman. Tommy Dorsey. Xavier Cugat. And another fave, Harry James.
Sometimes I go back in time running the course of my own life. Revisit my adolescence. Or my college years. Or maybe even just a year or two ago. And reminisce about days gone by. And think of faces that were so familiar. Faces I have loved.
And yet... I am quite aware that had this been the case... had I indeed been a mid-19th century Victorian gentleman, I would probably dream of living in Italy during the Renaissance... perhaps even further back... in Rome during the time of Julius Caesar... or in the Athens of Pericles... when the Acropolis was being built.
Yes. I am aware that nostalgia is really a denial of the present. Accompanied by the glorification of the past. A past probably painted in prettier colors than it deserved.
Is the present so dull that I prefer to run away from it? Is it just me? Am I alone in this? Am I the only one feeling this way?
I will try to answer "objectively"... or as objectively as possible. I actually think these are very exciting times. Things are changing at the blink of an eye. And if I look back... I have seen some pretty wild things in my life. I was there. I remember them.
Is there something wrong with today?
Well, yes and no. Perhaps what bothers me the most is the cultural low that we are experiencing. Sometimes I worry that we are headed towards a darker era. I explain myself. Is there a painter greater than Picasso alive today? Or Van Gogh? No. Is there a Mozart? No. Not even a Paul McCartney or a John Lennon. Worse yet, there is no prevailing cultural movement. Something that defines you, something that you can agree or disagree with. In the last quarter of the 19th century there were the Impressionists. The pre-Raphaelites. In early 20th century, we had the modernists... the cubists... later on the surrealists.
Who do we have today? The... [blank]...
Just a lot of technological improvements. Little things that help us get lazier. Things that save us time. Things that I would hope would actually enable us to produce even better art... to produce more "civilization". Sadly, this has not been the case.
I have expressed my worries enough.
I don't really have anything more to say... except perhaps to invite you to join me for a ride through the park... yes, of course... In my carriage.
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21
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just a little more baby...
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Posted:Oct 15, 2011 4:25 pm
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2017 12:57 pm
21621 Views
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just a little more baby...
it feels so good
you lying here next to me
oh, what a groove
you have no idea, how it feels
my hands just won't keep still
"I'm gonna love you just a little more baby" barry white
My hands wouldn't keep still... I wanted so much more of her. Touching her soft skin... seeing her figure in the dim candle light... the steady, sexy beat of the song making my heart beat faster.
Her quick kiss on my lips made want her even more... Her eyes... sparkling in the dark... I brought my lips to hers with abandon... and whispered, "I have to have you... in... my... mouth"... She didn't answer. But smiled faintly. And kissed my lips softly.
My tongue traveled down her body. Leaving traces of lust behind... My patience had vanished. I circled her clit with my lips. Flicked my tongue all around it... again and again. I finally kissed her pussy lips... running my tongue up and down their length... darting inward... then making slow circular movements inside her. I could feel her fluids flowing... and I was lapping it all up.
I inserted my one finger in her... then a second... and started feeling her inner walls... pushing against them... thrusting in and out of her... before finding her g-spot... then rubbing it... left and right... and in and out... my lips never leaving her clit... sucking on it harder and harder... faster and faster... feeling it swell... feeling it grow... My fingers were dancing inside her now... fast and furious... I knew it wouldn't be long...
Her body tensed. She lifted her back a little. Buried her fingers in my hair. Held me... as she started climaxing... her river flowing in my mouth in all its glory... slow and steady... but never quenching my thirst for her.
She finally relaxed. Caught her breath. Smiled. I moved up and kissed her lips... leaving remnants of her in her mouth... but not before long I had the urge again. I wanted it so badly...
As my face was approaching her loins, she half-heartedly tried to stop me... I looked up. Smiled...
"Just a little more baby", I said... before taking her in my mouth once more.
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10
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won't give in...
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Posted:Oct 8, 2011 1:59 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2012 3:05 pm
21075 Views
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won't give in...
Don't give me a line,
Keep the lid on the bottle this time,
I'm still a lady,
I won't do it tonight,
I won't do it tonight,
No where baby,
I won't give in and I won't feel guilty.
"nipple to the bottle"
Grace Jones
She wasn't someone you could mess around with. She meant business. And she meant it now.
Her voice had the echo of a whip. Fast. But controled. She looked at me. Poker-faced. Walked up to me. Grabbed me by the back of my neck and brought her face to mine. Still expressionless. Still silent. But not for long.
I won't do it tonight
she sang along with Grace Jones....
Without really explaining what that was. I tried to smile but before I knew it she had thrown me on the bed, her impressive body lying on top of mine. She ripped my shirt open. Without the slightest hesitation. And without a word she started kissing her way down my torso. I just lay there. Unsure of what she wanted from me. A certain sense of danger was in the air. A certain sense of danger followed her wherever she went.
She unzipped my jeans. Pulled them down. "Do you trust me?", she asked. I knodded. Because by that time I knew what she would do. And I couldn't wait. She took me in her mouth. And suddenly she was as tender as a kitten, languidly licking my cock, her mouth moving up and down, savoring every inch. I closed my eyes. And took a deep breath.
I won't give in and I won't feel guilty...
she kept singing... almost to herself...
And then she straddled me... her body naked by now... looming over me in all its glory. She took my cock in her hand and brought it to her clit... then put it between her pussy lips. She stayed like this for a few seconds... then slammed down me with one big move. I was suddenly deep inside her, her warm wetness surrounding me and squeezing me real tight. She looked at me and almost smiled, a faint expression of satisfaction passing by her face. She knew I was in ecstasy.
She started moving up and down, her hard breasts bouncing, her eyes fixed on me. I was still on my back... still allowing her to call all the shots... as if I was a toy in her hands. And yet my own arousal grew by the minute. With every move she made I was coming closer to my climax... and there was nothing I could do about it. She sensed it and grabbed my hair by the sides. She fell down on me. And for the first time kissed me. Hard. Just like I expected her to. Her tongue sliding in and out of my mouth. Licking around my lips.Wrestling with mine.
I finally wrapped my arms around her. My nails digging deep into her back. Her pussy milked my cock one last time. And accepted all my cum... now violently erupting out of me... and deep inside her. She kissed the side of my neck... and reached her own climax too... squeezing... tensing... then finally relaxing... the slightest cry coming out of her mouth as she did.
She collapsed her head on my shoulder. But only for a second. Whispered something. And got up...
I ain't gon give it, you ain't gon get it,
If I don't give it, how you gonna get it?
she still sang the words to the same song...
only by now she was looking at me and grinning...
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14
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waltz...
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Posted:Oct 3, 2011 4:17 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2017 1:07 pm
22138 Views
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waltz...
Shall we dance
like they did in that movie
Shall we dance
You and I
Or should we just pretend
it's our first scene
"shall we dance"
Malcolm McLaren ...his version of a well-known waltz
I took a small bow in front of her. Extended my hand. And repeated the song's words... "Shall we dance... like they did it in that movie?"... She took my hand. Smiled. "Of course", she said politely. She glided into my arms and within a few seconds we were swirling together, our feet almost elevated from the floor...
My eyes ate her up. Her figure, light as a feather, her body was moving gracefully in and out of my arms... her every move matching my lead effortlessly. Just before the song ended I pulled her close. Our lips met... for a second... for a minute... for a little more.
"I know what you want", she whispered. "Do you?", I asked, a sense of anticipation combined with slight amusement in my voice. "Yes", she answered confidently, "and the answer is yes". By that time I knew. I knew exactly what she wanted.
Without hesitation she unbuttoned my shirt. Took it off of me and handed it to me. She then turned around. And brought her hands behind her back. I waisted no time. I used my shirt to tie her hands.
She turned her head. And grinned. God, I wanted her. I got down on my knees in front of her... brought my face between her legs. Pulled her panties down. Approached her. Then slowly let my tongue run up and down her pussy lips... dart in and out of her... I tasted her first drops... then settlled my tongue on her clit... teasing it... circling around it, then sucking it in. I slid a finger inside her... touched her g-spot... probed a few times then stopped.
I stood up. Spread her wetness from her finger to my already erect cock... I walked behind her. "Bend over", I said quietly. But she had done that before I finished my sentence. I grabbed her by her tied hands. Then brought her closer to me. I touched her pussy lips with my cock. Then pulled her closer and closer... allowing my cock to go deeper and deeper in her. She was so warm... so moist... like she was made just to accept me.
I started grinding my hips. Hard. Then harder. I was fucking her like my life depended on it. I held on to my shirt... that was keeping her hands tied... and I kept moving back and forth... thrusting my cock all the way in her... then pushing her until I was almost out... only to thrust all the way in her again. Our bodies were dancing once more... only this time the politeness of the waltz was replaced by a wild ferocity...
My cock was rubbing against her g-spot... I could feel her contractions getting harder... squeezing me deeper and deeper inside her... and I knew I wouldn't last much longer. I stopped moving. And let the impact of my climax overtake me. My body tensed... and then I started cumming... explosively. Deep inside her. She instictively pushed against me. And climaxed herself. her back arching... Her inner folds tightening around my cock... her own fluids matching mine... then slowly trickling down my balls.
I was still inside her. I leaned over and kissed the back of her neck. I let my cock slip out of her. Then slid a finger in her... made a small circular movement inside her... then brought it to my lips... She watched me lick my finger clean. And finally spoke.
"Untie me", she said in her softest voice. "Please". I let her wait for just a second. Grinned. Then I did just that. As soon as her hands were free, she grabbed the back of my neck...
and gave me the most passionate kiss.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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12
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see ya around...
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Posted:Sep 30, 2011 12:38 pm
Last Updated:Aug 28, 2018 5:42 am
24288 Views
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see ya around...
And I hold you close in the back of my mind
Feels so good but damn it makes me hurt
And I'm too scared to know how I feel about you now
La cienega just smiled... "see ya around"
"La cienega just smiled"
Ryan Adams
"see ya around"...
those were her last words to me...
I can still see her walking away. Her hair swaying left to right. Her lips smiling as she turned to see me one last time. Her figure becoming smaller and smaller into the distance, then finally disappearing...
It was so long ago. But yes. I held her close in the back of my mind. I always had. Her smile shining so bright. Her eyes sparkling as she whispered to me. Telling me everything I wanted to hear. Waking up in me the most primal of desires.
Oh, I missed her. I missed all the fun we had. The long walks down sandy beaches. The dinners at the small restaurants... 'our' restaurants. The laughs we shared. The way we used to touch. The way we held hands. The nights we stayed up... filling our bodies with ecstasy.
My skin longed for her touch. My ears for her voice...
My mind was drifting away... far... to where she was now. How is she? What is she up to? And does she miss me too? Would I see her again?
The sound of my telephone interrupted my daydream. But as soon as I answered, a big smile came to my lips.
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17
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past...
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Posted:Sep 27, 2011 1:22 pm
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2012 3:03 pm
26796 Views
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past...
If you're going to san Francisco
be sure to wear some flowers in your hair
"San Francisco"
Scott McKenzie
In case you don't know me, I am a man with a past... on Senior Sizzle that is. I have been here for 6 years. Although I haven't been continuously active, I never really left. But that was the thing I always loved about my blog. It was mine. I never had a deadline. I only posted whenever I felt I had something to say. If I didn't, I just kept quiet. As my grandma used to tell me "If you have nothing nice to say, keep your mouth shut". With one notable exception, I have managed to keep it pretty clean and drama-free.
I have made a lot of friends on this site. Some drifted away, some are still with me. Some are still reading this blog. It makes me happy. And proud.
During the periods that I wasn't active I would always peek at my blog. I loved re-reading the comments some people had left me. And I was so fortunate. So much kindness... It touched me deeply that someone literally on the other side of the world would read my posts... would be affected by them... and would let me know about it. It was a mind-opening experience.
It used to be that if you left a comment on a blog it stayed there forever. No longer. Your comments would be deleted if you turned your profile off. So, as some of my friends left the site, almost half of the comments on my blog disappeared. It saddened me. Alas, there was nothing I could do about it.
What I have here is a list of older posts. An anthology of sorts. I hope you will enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.
two bags
the beads
masked ball
day for night
and then
NOW
make me a memory
erotica
tie
a fleeting glance
a lot more
I may revise this list... especially if you suggest posts you would like me to add to it!
As always. My love. My kisses.
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18
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at the library...
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Posted:Sep 23, 2011 4:36 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2017 1:30 pm
24493 Views
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at tle library...
It's not far to never never land
No reason to pretend
And if the wind is right you can find the joy
Of innocence again
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me
"Sailing"
Christopher Cross
There was something exotic about her. Her full lips, her tanned skin, her dark hair... those sexy eyes behind those sexy glasses. She was standing behind the library desk... and every day she would smile at me as I would return a book... or borrow one. The truth was that I had suddenly become much more studious... and she was the reason why.
One day I approached her... and asked her about this one book I was looking for. It was a rare 1920's edition. It was out of print now. She looked at the card I gave her, the one with the info of my enquiry. "Just a second please", she said in her soft voice. She then glanced at me out of the corner of her eye... "Umm", she hesitated a bit, "this book is located in the rare books section. You can't go there unescorted. And you can't check it out, you have to read it there... or copy sections of it". I stared at her, unsure of that meant. "But if you can wait for a few minutes, I'll be happy to you there".
Who was she kidding? I'd have been happy to wait a week. She disappeared for a few minutes, then came back with a grin on her face. "This way please", she said and led me down a maize of corridors. I was going to the library every day and had no idea this place even existed. Yet, there it was; a dark room far away from the usual library crowds. She opened a door, showed me in. She then pointed at a shelf. "Here it is, this is what you are looking for". She took the book and handed it to me. It was a gem indeed... leather-bound... a bit worn, the title and author engraved in gold letters. But suddenly I had no eyes for the book. And my mind could hardly settle on studying.
I was looking at her full breasts. They were pushing the soft fabric of her shirt. She caught me looking at her. I instantly blushed. Deeply. She smiled. "It's OK to look", she teased me... She paused for a very long second. "It's OK to touch too", she added. I gulped.
I approached her very slowly. I hesitated but she was very reassuring. I touched her shoulder. But her smile gave me the confidence I needed. I was overwhelmed with desire. I pulled her close. Hard. And brought my lips to hers. I started kissing her passionately. She wrapped her hands around my neck. She started caressing my hair. "I've always wanted to do that", she said... "Makes two of us", I added between kisses.
By that time I was pretty excited. My hardness was stretching my jeans. Visibly. She brought her hand to my crotch. Cupped my balls. Squeezed gently...
"I want to touch you", I said firmly. She didn't have time to answer. My hand was making its way under her skirt... and up her thigh. I pulled down her panties... I could feel her wetness on my fingers already. I teased her clit a little. Slid my middle finger inside her... and found her g-spot. "I want to taste you now", I said... She raked my hair with her fingers and gently pushed my head down... forcing me to my knees... a soft moan escaping her.
She tasted so sweet... her essence effortlessly flowing on my tongue. I kept lapping and lapping. I was insatiable. I teased her clit with my tongue some more... brought a finger close to her entrance... then finally slid it in. I kept sucking on her clit as my finger touched her g-spot and began pushing against it. Little by little I felt her knees weaken... and soon enough she was climaxing in my mouth. And I was taking it all in happily... mmm... she tasted divine.
I barely had time to stand up and kiss her. She had already dropped to her knees, unzipped my jeans and looking at my full hardness. She wasted no time. She took me in her mouth... gently sucking me in... letting me out... flicking her tongue around the head... then taking me all the way in. She moved her head back and forth... and back and forth... occasionally glancing up at me... then focusing again on her task. It didn't take me long. I started cumming... and she was swallowing all of me... neatly making sure she didn't miss a drop.
She finally got up, licked her lips and gave me a deep kiss.
"Well, well, your time is up I am afraid", she informed me... a somewhat formal, yet playful tone in her voice. "And you haven't even read a page from your book".
"Ah"... I sighed. "But I could come back tomorrow, couldn't I?"...
She didn't answer. She just pointed me to the door. But as I was exiting she sneaked up behind me and pinched my butt.
"You'd better", she said giggling...
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12
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mirror in the sky...
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Posted:Nov 30, 2010 4:38 am
Last Updated:Nov 11, 2015 6:12 pm
22731 Views
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mirror in the sky...Took this love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Till the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the within my heart rise above?
And can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Oh oh I don't know, oh I don't know
Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
get older I'm getting older too
Yes I'm getting older too, so...
"Landslide", Fleetwood Mac
I let out a sigh... I should have known better than to allow my Itunes to decide which song I listen to... The voice of Stevie Nicks, with that raspy sound, brought back so many memories... so many questions... I fought back a tear. I lost.
Fucking hell... what a year this was. A real landslide... I could almost feel it... the earth trembling... a guilty silence... and then the whole world crumbling down. So many crises. So much drama. So much pain. So much loss... It was all too much.
Am I getting older?... Yes. Am I getting wiser?... I don't know. I honest-to-God don't fucking know. I can only do what my heart tells me and pray that I am doing the right thing...
And the memory of her was still with me... her hand on my cheek... her voice whispering in my ear... her eyes looking at me... piercingly... discovering what's deep inside me. Giving me hope... giving me the strength to carry on... but... but...
Another sigh followed. I was alone.
I took a deep breath. Looked outside and saw the sun shining brightly. And finally won the battle with that tear. Yes. It was time to pick myself up. To smile again. And to clear my head of all thoughts. And to just enjoy listening to a truly beautiful song.
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4
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forbidden fruit...
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Posted:Nov 25, 2010 5:22 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2015 7:51 pm
22035 Views
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forbidden fruit...
Coming down again, coming down again
On the ground again, coming down again
Slipped my tongue in someone else's pie
Tasting better ev'ry time
"Coming down again"
The Rolling Stones, 1973
Have you ever tasted a forbidden fruit? Have you ever slipped your tongue in someone else's pie? Did it taste better every time?
Share it with me... I will only allow your comment to be seen if you give me permission to do so...
And I will share below in the form of a comment one of my stories as well...
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devil in disguise...
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Posted:Nov 18, 2010 1:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2016 10:01 pm
26575 Views
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devil in disguise...
Ellen walked nervously. Her tall frame gave her an air of confidence. An air of strength. But she knew better. Ellen felt the butterflies rise in her stomach... that oh-so-familiar feeling she had every time she was about to make a mistake. Her head was spinning. Everything told her no. And yet she felt compelled... this was a temptation too hard for her to resist. She entered the Ritz Hotel at the Place Vendome in Paris and stepped onto its plush carpet.
She headed for the back... where the Bar Hemingway was... where she was meeting him. It was a small and intimate place, filled with photographs of Hemingway, worn but comfortable armchairs, an old club atmosphere filled with historical mementos... Filled with memories as far as she was concerned.
It only took her a second to spot him. There he was, sitting deep in his armchair, his glass in his hand... looking at her... smiling his devilish smile. He looked exactly the same, as if a day had not gone by since she had last seen him... even though it was such a long time ago. He had dark eyes, rich straight brown hair and a smile she never managed to forget. His look was innocent, almost harmless... and yet there was something dangerous about him... a certain intensity... a heat that emanated beneath that cool surface. He was impeccably dressed. Impeccably mannered. She remembered her mother. "The devil always comes in attractive packages" she had told her. And how right she was!... But Ellen had never listened to her mother...
Alex got up and came towards her to greet her. His smile was brighter than ever. He embraced her warmly. Kissed her on the cheek. "How are you?", he said in his warmest voice. Ellen felt the color rise in her cheeks. He helped her get in her chair. He waited till she was seated before he sat down himself. "What should I order for you? Your usual?", he said as if they were together the day before. She nodded. He instantly instructed the waiter to bring her a kir royal, the champagne cocktail she used to have whenever they went out together.
She remembered their time together. He was fun to be with, time spent with him was always time well spent. She was drawn to him... "like a moth to a flame", her mother would warn her. And yet, she felt so safe when she was in his arms... Still, as soon as he would walk out the door, she would start worrying. Something was eating at her, a little voice inside her kept telling her to be careful. Yes, there was definitely something dangerous about him... something she couldn't quite put her finger on... yet something she definitely felt. So she would hold back... until she would see him again. Then all her fears would de dispersed... only to return as soon as she was alone again...
"You look absolutely stunning", Alex said in earnest, "and I'm so glad to see you". The truth be told so was she. She had missed him so... And she had spent many nights thinking of him... thinking of how it would have been... thinking of what might have been... thinking of what would have happened had she not left him. Yet, there she was with him again... giddy as a schoolgirl... skittish... and yes, slightly afraid. He, on the other hand, was as comfortable as ever. He spoke to her with the ease one speaks to a childhood friend. He smiled, complimented her, asked for her news, sat quietly and listened as she regaled to him her latest accomplishments, how she had moved up in the world, how she had built her life, how she had so much going for her. The whole time he smiled silently... kindly... if just a touch impatiently.
He waited until she took the last sip from her drink. "If I promise to be a gentleman and not take advantage of you, can I order you another drink?", he said teasingly. "No", she answered. One drink was more than enough in his company. Another and she would lose control.
"Well, you know", Alex said softly, "I have reserved a room here". He said it as if he was informing her of what he had had for lunch. But the words hit her like a ton of bricks. She didn't know whether to slap him, to just get up and leave... or... or to fall into his arms and tell him she had never stopped loving him. She didn't say anything... for the moment. Instead she got up... looked him straight in the eye and finally hissed "Well, why don't you show it to me then?"...
Alex's smile disappeared. And for a second she saw the fear in his eyes too. He probably wasn't expecting that... He must have thought she would reject him... once again... that he would once more play the role of the brooding anti-hero... But, no. In one gulp Alex finished his drink. Left more than enough cash for their drinks. And got up. He squeezed her hand as they crossed the Bar Hemingway's wooden doors...
When she got to his room she felt an odd sense of comfort. She barely noticed the luxurious decoration... the baroque furniture... nothing... Suddenly she was young again... and she was about to set on an exciting journey with this strange man... She fell into his arms... just like she had so many years ago... and he pulled her close... so close she almost felt breathless. He kissed her. He kissed her with that quaint sense of familiarity that only an old lover can have. And yes, he always was a good kisser... Ellen felt her blood begin to boil...
His touch was smooth... but his breath was hot. She felt the air from his lungs glide on her skin... and once again she surrendered to him. To his desire. To her desire as well. Time flew. In a hazy state of bliss.
The next morning she awoke to see him staring at her. Lovingly. He started kissing her shoulders. Just like he always did. Just like she always wanted. He placed a hand on her breast. And kissed the back of her neck.
Ellen smiled. And suddenly wondered whether her mother was wrong.
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15
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all along...
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Posted:Nov 14, 2010 1:38 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2012 2:58 pm
22026 Views
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all along...
And I'm only here
To bring you free love
Let's make it clear
That this is free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love...
"free love"... depeche mode
"Oh my God... oh my God... oh yes"...
Her mouth was an endless source of pleasure. Moments earlier she had removed my boxer shirts as if they were standing in her way. She had then pinned me down on the bed... and attacked me with her mouth without the slightest hesitation... her one hand on my flat stomach... her lips enveloping me slowly but steadily... her fingers circling the base of my shaft... and moving up and down... her tongue swirling around...
"Oh my God..."
She went on. Relentless. Showing me no mercy... not that I had asked for any...
Her lips were going down... her fingers were going up... and I was going to heaven...
I caressed her hair as her head was bobbing up and down...
"Baby...", I mumbled... "I don't think I can hold out much longer".
"Mmmm"... She didn't quite answer... but made it quite clear that this was what she had wanted all along...
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9
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mistakes...
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Posted:Nov 11, 2010 3:32 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2016 10:07 pm
23107 Views
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mistakes...
The victims we know so well
They shine in our eyes
When they kiss and tell
Strange places we never see
But you're always there
Like a ghost in my dreams...
"victims"... culture club
This is a true story. Happened a long time ago... a very long time ago. I was in my early 20s. Vacationing at Mykonos, a beautiful island, a few hours away from Athens, known for its party atmosphere. The sun was scorching the sandy beaches during the days... the nights were even hotter. Clubbing... partying... dancing... drinking... you get the idea.
I met Susan at the beach. She was sunbathing next to me. She was stunning. Great body. Flaming red hair. Piercing green eyes and an easy smile... But I could see there was a sadness about her. She was in her early 30s, older than me- even if she didn't look like it. She was Australian. A former actress... I had even watched one of her movies!...
She was married now. To some Aussie big shot. But where was her husband? "Back home", she replied. I didn't ask any further, didn't want to be impertinent. But she kept on. She had just discovered he was cheating on her... with some younger actress, a 20something wanna-be. She was livid about him... "that -of-a-bitch... that asshole... I did this for him, I did that for him... How dare he treat me this way?"... She would divorce him. For sure. She was hurt. Betrayed. She would show him... She started crying... just like that... I took her in my arms and held her... offered her my shoulder.
Enter Marc. A Canadian. Late 30s, perhaps early 40s. Friendly fellow. Medium height. Blond. Blue-eyed. Mustache. Alone in Mykonos as well. I have no idea how Susan had met Marc... or what their relationship was. He seemed nice enough. And smiled when he walked over and found Susan crying in my arms.
Susan left... she was too upset. But agreed to meet Marc and me later at the Anchor Pub, the hip and happening bar of those days.
I went to the bar on time. Soon Marc appeared, joined me and ordered a drink. Susan was late. So Marc and I started talking. "I am worried about her", I told him, "she is unhappy".
"Yes", he replied, "but don't make her problem your problem. Let her sort it out herself. You have to stand back a bit... detach yourself a little... be sensible".
"I am not sure I can", I replied. "She's asking for my help, I can't deny her". It was exactly at that time that I realized that I cared for Susan... even though I had just met her. Marc smiled. He got up. Paid for the drinks.
"I am leaving", he said.
"Why?", I asked.
"I'll leave the two of you alone", he answered. I protested. No. He wouldn't hear of it. Looking back, I think it was one of the most gallant things anyone's ever done for me... It was like telling me "I'm stepping out, you have your chance with her"... or maybe he was just much wiser than me. Well, yes, maybe...
In my eyes she was the ultimate damsel in distress... and I was the fair prince who would rescue her... well, maybe not rescue her... but at least show her that not all men are assholes... that I could put the smile back on her face... that even though I was still so young... she could rely on me... she could count on me. Yes, I would be there for her.
Susan showed up a few minutes later. Oddly enough she didn't seem at all surprised that Marc wasn't there. Or, for that matter, that I was. I ordered her a drink... We talked. I told her about myself... about how I was in college in the United Sates and was home for the summer... about my family... about my friends... "You seem more mature than most guys your age", she said at some point... Ha...
Eventually we made our way to her hotel. It was the best hotel in town. She took me out to the balcony... The view was spectacular. The whole of Mykonos lay before my eyes. All lit up. A cool breeze was blowing... and eventually I took her in my arms again. No tears this time. No words either. She was silent as she brought her lips close to mine... We kissed...
The next day I was leaving. Going back to Athens. She knew that already. I asked her if she wanted to come with me. I could show her around... take her to the Acropolis... Mostly I wanted to spend time with her. I really liked her.
"Yes", she said. "I'd love that. But I will stay in Mykonos one more day. I will fly to Athens the day after. Come pick me up at the airport. I will stay at the Grande Bretagne Hotel for a few days, you can come and stay with me. Just go now... I would like to be alone for a bit. I will see you in two days".
She gave me the tenderest kiss and closed the door behind me. I think I was walking on clouds. Could this be happening to me? Could I be this lucky? I had just met this gorgeous woman... she liked me... she wanted to spend time with me... Of all the men that were pursuing her, she had chosen me... she was coming to Athens to be with me. In my young and wistful eyes I was already picturing the two of us... hitting the Athens hot spots... dancing... drinking... and yes... making love... without a care in the world. Yes. I was really looking forward to that.
I went back to Athens. Spent the day getting everything in order, clearing my schedule for the next week. I didn't sleep much the night before her plane would arrive... which was a good thing as hers was a very early flight... and I would have probably overslept had I actually closed my eyes!
I drove to the airport. Full of anticipation. Went to the arrivals gate. Waited... There she was... suitcase in hand... breezing through the crowd... head up... red hair flying around her face. I waved at her and she came towards me. She was surprised to see me...
"Wow... you really care", she told me. Why wouldn't I? I had told her I'd be there, hadn't I?
I kissed her... but I could instantly sense something was wrong.
"Susan, is everything alright?", I asked... even though I already knew the answer. A tear appeared in her eye again, but her voice was steady.
"No", she replied while holding me tight, "I am flying back to Australia today. I am going to sort this out with my husband". I was speechless. The asshole? The -of-a-bitch? The one she would divorce for sure? ... But it was her choice. And I respected that.
I just looked at her and smiled... but it was a bitter smile, full of sadness.
"What would you like me to do for you then?", I asked. She didn't hesitate for a second. "Stay with me till I catch my flight to Australia. Will you? Will you keep me company?"... The woman who had sent me away "to be alone", now was asking for my company. But of course I stayed with her. Happily.
Her layover would last a couple of hours. We sat at one of the cafes. The whole time we spent at the airport, she never took her eyes off of me. She kept holding my hands... kissing my fingers... telling me what a nice guy I am... how mature for my years... how under other circumstances she would have loved to spend time with me... how we might one day meet again in the future... but I knew better. I knew I'd never see her again.
At least she was smiling again. I did accomplish that. I don't know if I restored her faith in men. But I did manage to put a smile on her face again... if only for a few hours. She gave me a very long kiss before she boarded that plane. Her lips just wouldn't leave mine. And she held me tight... and then she flew away... I saw her sobbing as soon as she was away from me. And somehow that didn't surprise me at all.
I saw her plane take off. Taking away my dreams of a good few days... my dreams of being a hero. Of being the one that 'rescued' her. I got in my car. Drove off. I felt empty...
and suddenly Marc's words came to mind. So vividly. "Don't make her problem your problem, let her sort it out herself"... He was being gallant. And he was being wise too. Or maybe he had gone through what I had just gone through earlier... when he was in his early 20s... and he had just learned from his mistakes.
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