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| Blogs > tomboytgirl68 > Me Without Anything Else |
That "Saturday Night ... Fever", Part 4 of 7
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That "Saturday Night ... Fever", Part 4 of 7 ... and then, for a moment I guess that seemed much longer, there was silence ... not a sound from either of us ... those same words of my declaration being processed toward conclusion ... with very different results, I am sure. My declaration just seemed to hang in the air as I played it over again in my head ... "I will do it for Rita, your wife Bob ... but your "Bunny" is dead ... I will go meet your friend and play the role to bail you out cuz of Rita but Bob, just remember that between us I am not one of your girls ... in fact, after this evening, we are not even FWB, we are nothing." Disregarding my immediate feelings of self-righteousness that, under the circumstances, had be quite shallow, I was becoming more aware of a sense of the finality of it all. With that single stroke I had closed the door on our "relationship" ... Bob and his 'Companion'; Bob, (my new friend, Rita's husband), and my "arrangement" with him, a carnal relationship ... not really based on purchased pleasure, but simply a symbiotic relationship of satisfying desires and needs, physically, as concerning me, consequences of my lack of boundaries and his opportunistic nature ... regardless of whatever. Well, with announcing my independence from "Daddy", that whole concept, with him, Bob, I was not at all trying purchase my self respect with a bit of denial and abstinence. That price would be too high, but it never occurred to anyway. No, aside from that scenario of the both of them would appear to be fraught with awkward instances. It did sort of provide a vindication of sorts though. In closing the door with Bob. I could unlock my door for his wife, Rita. There is no salvation of my soul with that and, it is so weird, but Bob had been encouraging Rita also ... just not with his exclusion. So, I had no guilt at all. For , what had more potential? ... a man who, with my permission and complete cooperation, exploited in bed OR ... a woman offering cerebral synergy of girl to girl stuff ... symbiotic emotions, feelings ... AND ... physically allowed us to use ourselves and each other for us! For me, the choice was obvious ... All this was nice, but also there was a potential price for me becoming available for Rita on her terms only. And that is where we were with that silence after what I finally said Bob. That price was possibly whatever Bob said and or did next. At that point I had just figuratively pulled myself from Bob's grasp ... pulled the meat from the lion ... the prey from the predator ... ... xox Kaycee. |
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