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Last Day: One confession
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Posted:May 2, 2012 8:51 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2012 5:51 am
24493 Views
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Warning: If you're looking for entertainment or a laugh, ignore this post completely....it's not one of those...
Well it's finally here!!
The Last Day.
The Final Edition.
The Culmination.
The....
(Dah duh DAAAAAAAAHHHH)
....Confession
I was getting a little nervous over this one lol
I had nothing. That's right. NOTHING.
lol
I was at a complete loss as to what to write.
Right up until this morning when I sat down to write I was drawing a blank. I even considered making something up 
But that's just not me, so I decided against it.
Then it struck me....
Maybe I'm looking at it in the wrong way.....
"Confession" is defined as the written or oral admission of one's wrongdoings or "sins", and I think this is the first meaning that comes to us when we think of that word, especially with religious overtones of admitting to something which requires absolution.
By the way...if you're looking for funny or weird here today...this would be the time to leave...this is one of the extremely rare "serious" posts
Although, any of you of the "Trainspotting" mentality might want to stick around so you can say "I was there when he did that serious one back in '12"
It can also be defined as "acknowledgment, avowal or admission" without any judgmental, right or wrong, good or bad connotations.
My confession is something I've alluded to in the past, but I've never felt the need or the inclination to make a whole post about it.
They say "misery loves company", but that's not always strictly true
At least when it comes to me, anyway lol
I'm one of those aggravating people that bottles everything up.
If someone pisses me off, or upsets me, I'll rarely let them know.
But I do tend to dwell on it, and generally blame myself for the other person's "failings" - it's usually MY fault.....even when it isn't lol
I blame it on being a Libra, I can ALWAYS see the other person's point of view lol
I have two sides to my brain...the emotional, "me" side that lives on the inside...and the logical, analytical side that lives on the outside and watches what goes on lol
But anyway......
I have suffered with depression for most of my life.
It's something I live with every day.
It's like having a mouse in your house....you know it's there, you hear it, you see evidence of it's existence, but you don't see it very often lol
It's been an issue for me since I was in my early teens.
There was no real "cause"...nothing to blame it on...it just happened.
I'm sure somebody out there will suggest that there IS a root cause and the only way to get to it is via therapy.....but I'm not so sure...
Being of an over analytical persuasion, it's something I've contemplated a lot over the years, to no avail.
I had a great childhood, loving parents and a happy home life. I never lacked for attention or love.
School was great, albeit with some bullying issues which most have to deal with at some point. I had friends, I wasn't a stereotypical loner . I was just depressed for some unknown reason. And that has continued to this day.
I was never medicated, or unable to function in my daily life because of it...it's just like an itch you can't scratch, that niggles away at you.
I learned early on to recognise the signs. I dealt with it by "heading it off at the pass"...the real danger lies in not snapping yourself out of it before it goes too far.
Anyone who has experienced this will know...
I've described it before as a "downward spiral".
It's like a very slow Helter Skelter (for those of you who know what one of those is
Something might trigger you, and you start to slide into that "blue" state (for want of a better description). If you don't catch yourself in time, and snap out of it, before you know it you're depressed about being depressed....which makes you slide further down...which makes you depressed about being depressed about being depressed....
Make sense?
I've never hit the bottom...
The bottom is where you stop...literally...
When you've hit the bottom and can't go any further down...that's when you kill yourself. Not an attempt, not a cry for attention or help...you just do it. And you make sure it happens.
Have I thought about suicide?
Yes.
Many times.
Less so as I got older, perhaps because you reach a certain point in your life when you realise you will die sometime, and relatively speaking it's not that far away, so you try to cling on as long as you can, whereas as a you can't imagine living that long, feeling like that...
Remember when school holidays felt so long? And Christmas and birthdays were so far away?
Now it seems like there's a couple of weeks between birthdays lol
Most of you that have made it this far through this post probably don't believe that this is the same "me"....like I said earlier, I'm very good at hiding my "feelings"....
It's not something I dwell on, or advertise to the world.
I'm not looking for pity, or attention....or looking to have you make allowances for my behaviour....
This is my problem, not yours 
And besides, there is really nothing anyone else can do to help anyway.
It's like being an alcoholic...no one else can make you stop....and there is no "cure"...only a cessation of "hostilities", so to speak... even if you aren't exhibiting any symptoms, it's still there ...waiting...
Depression is a strange affliction...
You can't just "Suck it up, princess" 
You can't just turn it off....
You can't just ignore it...
In recent years it has become "ok" to admit to being depressed...
I guess the world finally decided that we're not crazy, miserable, attention seekers...
Although in my case, you might beg to differ
I feel so lucky though...
I'm not that bad...I can still function normally....maintain relationships....hold down a job...do all the things that make up a normal, healthy life. In fact....most of you would probably never believe it if you met me in real life, even if you knew me for years....
There are millions of people out there who can't....or don't get the chance to because they hit the bottom of the ride before they can get off...
So that's my "confession", not terribly interesting or in least bit sexual
Sorry about that...but it's all I've got
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Day Whatever it is, I've lost count: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
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Posted:May 1, 2012 6:18 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2012 5:18 am
17448 Views
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Two images, huh?
That's a tricky one...
I almost posted this one last night, but I was in a weird place mentally and well, the images I was coming up with weren't really suitable
I know, that's defeating the purpose of the exercise
I just wasn't comfortable with some of the stuff that I was finding lol
So I decided to err on the side of caution and scrubbed the post
So....here we go again....and appropriately enough for me...I'm going to use emoticons as my images
First images is:
Horny of course!!
I'm permanently horny.
I have a huge sex drive, which is both a blessing and a curse...
A blessing in that I'm always "ready"
A curse in that I'm ALWAYS "ready"
Note the distinction between the two lol
A bit of a two edged sword really...
Secondly:
Hmmm, what is this one exactly?
Confused? Frazzled? Dazed? Head is spinning??
I don't really know, but it looks like I feel lol
So there you have it....make of it what you will
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Fire It Up, Let Love Live Again!!
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Posted:Apr 30, 2012 10:34 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2012 3:49 pm
17946 Views
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Happy Monday folks!!
Yep..you guessed it...it's review time again
So who is it this time?
Well let me tell you....
Friday night was Johnny Reid at the MTS Centre 
Those of you who don't know, I'm one of his biggest fans
....and he AIN'T country...
I don't care what you say
This was his first time doing a whole show in the MTS Centre...I've seen him at the Casino (twice) and the Concert Hall, but this was big time
10,000 people according to the paper...pretty cool huh?
But before I get to the main event, I have to comment on the support act....
Carolyn Dawn Johnson is a great artist in her own right.
That being said.....when you open for another act, your purpose is to "warm up" the crowd...sort of like a musical "fluffer"
Oh come on...this IS a sex site after all
I'm contractually obligated to get some sex in here
Anyway....
If your purpose is to get things started, so to speak, why oh why do you perform a set that would bore a corpse??
She's a great singer...has written some great songs....and she's a great performer....but she was boring .....and depressing lol
I know she's Country...but really???
A couple of more "upbeat" numbers wouldn't have gone amiss
Maybe it's just me...but I don't think so
Then again....nobody was there to see her anyway
On to Johnny Reid...
As always this guy delivers
He looked as at home in that building as he does in the Casino...he was born to entertain and nobody could have been dissapointed with the performance he put on, complete with pyro
He spent two whole songs running around the whole arena...and I mean the WHOLE arena lmao the security guy must have thought he was nuts lmao
Great song after great song, the set list relied heavily on the new album, but still included most of the hits....
Complaints??
Just a few lol
Firstly, someone should fire the sound guy....most of the time the vocals were lost in the mix a bit...he is such a great singer...the vocals could have been pushed up a little....maybe it's the bigger venue though...because the other three times I've seen him the sound has been impeccable
Secondly, the red pants. Ouch. They did not look good lol
Even he had to comment when he saw himself on the big screens lol
Lastly, no bagpipe solos in "Change the World" or "Till we Meet Again"???????
WTF?????
They MAKE those songs....they're great songs but the pipes take them over the edge...bring back the bagpipes, PLEASE!!!
One thing I must say.....the encore....
This takes balls of the highest order...very few bands can and do attempt this....
He played all the "big" songs during his set....
Most bands keep the "best" songs for encore to ensure that the crowd demands one regardless of how deserving they are...
To play those songs (the ones people REALLY want to hear) during the show was a brave move
Of course, then the band comes back in Jets jerseys...
I thought there was going to be a riot though....
During the final number, he had on his Jets jersey complete with Reid #12 on the back....at the end of the song he took it off to throw to the little girl he had on stage with him....and some guy caught it and wasn't going to give it to the ...not cool....I thought he was going to jump off the stage and attack him lol
Luckily the guy got the message and everything ended well ;P
I guess having 9,999 people ready to tear you apart was a wake up call
All in all a good night
If you get the chance, go see him....you'll get more than your moneys worth....
If you've never heard of him...go look him up...the songs are great and he's a great entertainer...you won't be sorry
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Day Four and a half: Three turn-ons
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Posted:Apr 27, 2012 11:14 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2012 9:32 am
17760 Views
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Almost there
Only three more posts to go including this one lol
This one was easier.....although the list is actually endless lol
I decided to look at it from the point of view of that initial attraction that makes me want to go further rather than the specifics of what gets me sexually excited, because that list really IS endless
And as far as I'm concerned...if you can't check off these three things...NOTHING you can do will turn me on
1. Beautiful eyes - I can't resist gorgeous pair of ...eyes
I don't know what it is, but gorgeous eyes will stop me dead in my tracks - Eva Green and Nicole Kidman are good examples...
2. Luminous Personality - By that I mean those people who "shine" - the love of life just radiates off them, it combines happiness, sense of humour, confidence and sheer joy of being alive - I'm sure you all know someone like that.....
3. Intelligence - Not necessarily "book learning" I know some people with university degrees who must have "bought" them lol This is not quite the same thing though - it's being able to hold a conversation, being able to learn things, being open minded and a whole host of other things - I'm not sure intelligence is quite the right word, but I can't think of anything better lol - It's being able to engage me and stimulate me on a mental level....whatever you want to call that
And that's all it takes
If you have all that...then you're 90% of the way into my pants already
It's the other 10% that's the difficult bit
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