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How are you doing?  

secret_lade 48F
14278 posts
6/10/2021 2:32 am
How are you doing?


While most of my coworkers were tactful enough to avoid the subject of my altogether, I did have a few that stopped by my office to flash their... I'm sympathetic of your plight 'for show only' concerns.

I hate people like this.

You don't talk to them, they barely notice you're alive, but suddenly they feel it is necessary to pick the most visible moment of the day to stop by and offer empathy.

They aren't expressing concern. They are cultivating an image.

Fake and Bake was walking past my office yesterday when she decided to stop and back up a step, staring solemnly into my office.

"How are we feeling today."

Her lips were pursed into a forced frown and she was holding her hand across her<b> chest.

</font></b>"I'm experiencing the deepest most sorrowful pain I've ever experienced in my life."

The look on her face was priceless as she pulled back just a hair, the forced frown pulling up into a contorted half smile, half mouth agape expression. I stared at her as she searched for a response in her mind but could find none.

She shook her head up and down and walked away.

It's amazing what brutal honesty can do to a conversation.

I need to start doing this more often.

Happy Thursday!

secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
6/11/2021 3:12 pm

    Quoting justskin1:
    Nothing says fake interest when a we is in there. Your brutally honest response was just right. She did not deserve to have it softened in the least.
    Sad to say the the shock is unlikely to change her shallow ways.
She'll never change, people like that never do. She does go out of her way to avoid me now, I kind of like that part. I always hated being fake nice with her.


justskin1 70M
13175 posts
6/10/2021 8:30 pm

Nothing says fake interest when a we is in there. Your brutally honest response was just right. She did not deserve to have it softened in the least.
Sad to say the the shock is unlikely to change her shallow ways.

If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."

I always behave. Preferably not well.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
6/10/2021 3:19 pm

    Quoting 57FredFred:
    You go Girl! You shall survive. Have a good one.
You're right, I will survive. Each day does get easier. I did have one person say to me that I was a good Mom, today, because I let my son make this choice. He had wanted to join the marines, but ended up not doing so because his mom was so against it. He told me he regrets it to this very day that he did not fulfil his dream, and he's in his 50's.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
6/10/2021 3:14 pm

    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    Where that hell did that "we" shit come from? lol
    Good for you for letting her know how YOU felt!
Nose Hairs was in my office when someone came in to drop off a congratulatory gift to me today. Really??? People don't realize, this experience is hard for me and it was not my first choice for him. I thought I was going to cry, but I held back those tears.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
6/10/2021 3:09 pm

    Quoting 69ereatwetpussy:
    I'm doing fine thanks for asking.
    I see you have had you sad times with your son joining the Marine
    I can't fault you for that feeling.
    Any time someone goes into the unknown
    You have to worry
    My nephew is a Marine has a few left to deserve 20 years
    His in Japan with his wife and four children the past 5 years.
    Yet he did 3 tours in the middle east at the beginning of his tours.
    That was tuff.
    I worked with a guy did two your in the middle east he wanted to go back.he was in the middle of action.
    My best friend a Marine during time of piece stay here in the states for 3 years.
    I hope and pray he is safe and comes home a hole person.that your only big worry.metally or physically.
    Xoxox to you there nothing you can do but wait and see where he goes.
    Un less h
You are right! Each and every day that goes by I feel a little bit better. I just miss him so very much. I've actually sent him a couple of texts.... He does not have his phone, but at some point he will be able to have it back. I don't want him to miss out on anything.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
6/10/2021 3:04 pm

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    I usually give those fake people a fake interested response.
I usually tend to be nice.... But I just don't have it in me right now.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
6/10/2021 3:00 pm

    Quoting citizen4722:
    I liked the assault and battery you gave to her mind
Thank you. She deserved it.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
6/10/2021 2:59 pm

    Quoting jolielaide:
    EPIC RESPONSE!!

    you have 'officially' taken up real estate in her brain. ..

    she's gonna think about that for.ever.
She should think about that forever. There were quite a few people milling about who seen the exchange, including my boss and a few other leaders. Hopefully the next time she asks someone how they are doing, she'll be truly authentic in her ask.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
6/10/2021 2:54 pm

    Quoting CL_Love:
    It is amazing how many people don't really want to hear how you are doing when they ask. I usually soften mine with "OK" (when I'm really not) or "Hanging in" (also when more accurately that would end with "by my fingernails"). Ugh. I'm sending more virtual ((HUGS)). But I'll admit, I both loved your nickname for this one and also your shutting down of her comment. LOL
I actually call her Fake and Bake behind her back at work, too. Eeek! LOL I'm usually just like you, I'll say I'm ok when I'm really not. Most people don't care enough to hear the truth anyway.


CL_Love 49M/49F
425 posts
6/10/2021 2:05 pm

It is amazing how many people don't really want to hear how you are doing when they ask. I usually soften mine with "OK" (when I'm really not) or "Hanging in" (also when more accurately that would end with "by my fingernails"). Ugh. I'm sending more virtual ((HUGS)). But I'll admit, I both loved your nickname for this one and also your shutting down of her comment. LOL


jolielaide 51F  
1754 posts
6/10/2021 11:27 am

EPIC RESPONSE!!

you have 'officially' taken up real estate in her brain. ..

she's gonna think about that for.ever.


citizen4722 64M  
74582 posts
6/10/2021 8:26 am

I liked the assault and battery you gave to her mind


mc_justmc 62M
6929 posts
6/10/2021 4:55 am

I usually give those fake people a fake interested response.


69ereatwetpussy 60M
6778 posts
6/10/2021 4:22 am

I'm doing fine thanks for asking.
I see you have had you sad times with your son joining the Marine
I can't fault you for that feeling.
Any time someone goes into the unknown
You have to worry
My nephew is a Marine has a few left to deserve 20 years
His in Japan with his wife and four children the past 5 years.
Yet he did 3 tours in the middle east at the beginning of his tours.
That was tuff.
I worked with a guy did two your in the middle east he wanted to go back.he was in the middle of action.
My best friend a Marine during time of piece stay here in the states for 3 years.
I hope and pray he is safe and comes home a hole person.that your only big worry.metally or physically.
Xoxox to you there nothing you can do but wait and see where he goes.
Un less h


pagancountrygirl 64F
6466 posts
6/10/2021 4:08 am

Where that hell did that "we" shit come from? lol
Good for you for letting her know how YOU felt!

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


57FredFred 65M  
752 posts
6/10/2021 3:19 am

You go Girl! You shall survive. Have a good one.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
6/10/2021 2:35 am

While most of my coworkers were tactful enough to avoid the subject of my son altogether, I did have a few that stopped by my office to flash their... I'm sympathetic of your plight 'for show only' concerns.

I hate people like this.

You don't talk to them, they barely notice you're alive, but suddenly they feel it is necessary to pick the most visible moment of the day to stop by and offer empathy.

They aren't expressing concern. They are cultivating an image.

Fake and Bake was walking past my office yesterday when she decided to stop and back up a step, staring solemnly into my office.

"How are we feeling today."

Her lips were pursed into a forced frown and she was holding her hand across her chest.

"I'm experiencing the deepest most sorrowful pain I've ever experienced in my life."

The look on her face was priceless as she pulled back just a hair, the forced frown pulling up into a contorted half smile, half mouth agape expression. I stared at her as she searched for a response in her mind but could find none.

She shook her head up and down and walked away.

It's amazing what brutal honesty can do to a conversation.

I need to start doing this more often.

Happy Thursday!


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