how we picture ourselves....
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Posted:Jun 3, 2006 12:47 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2009 7:59 pm
1943 Views
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this should be a sign... its 3:15 AM & im back on here.
( i had a thought while lurking elsewhere. )
how different from the way you look is the way you feel inside? i sometimes imagine myself looking like roseanne barr, - its not really that bad- more like commidenne grace kelly of "grace under fire"
but in the arms of a man that knows what i need & is capable of providing it, i become something else entirely.
as i said in a recent comment, inside i am the body of jamie lee curtis in "perfect"; dancing, responding & writhing like the girl in red waiting for vin diesel in "XXX" so my question is-- how do you see yourself? if you are someone that cannot post a real pic, then find something that shows how you see yourself in your fantasies. i want to see what you look like inside...
OX- this pic is for you...my favorite dali.... can you guess....
i havent forgotten.
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did anybody miss me???
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Posted:Jun 2, 2006 10:33 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2008 11:21 pm
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well I'm sort of back. i'm almost done moving, just a few loose ends at the old house & unpacking at the new. the knee is still here, but whichever side that was only possibly torn before, is definitely done now. i have a bowl of rice crispies in its place.
but i love my new room! it has such potential!! when i get it put together maybe ill put a pic or 2 on here. i'm storyless for now, but surgery is in 2 weeks & i will be immobile for at least a few days. of course my idea of immobile is only getting up to get to school (& cooking, refereeing,laundering & all that fun shit! too bad i cant wait a few more weeks- the will be gone with family.
then again, when the mice are away, the cat has time to hunt for new prey........
SNUGGLES to all who missed me!!
fierce submission to OX
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explination of absence
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Posted:May 25, 2006 3:19 am
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2009 9:54 pm
1922 Views
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haven't been around the last few days- explanation? , full time job, prom is friday(dress fitting, shoe shopping nail appointment, makeup shopping etc...) moving this weekend, dr.appt. tue ( knee surgery in 2 weeks- FUN!) so things have been a little hectic.
so anyone eagerly awaiting a new story- soon to come! i'll be out of work for 2 weeks after surgery, & I'm SURE i'll come up with something
gotta go for a few days! miss me??
XXXOOOXXX chanda
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NO MORE TROLLING ON MY BLOG!!!
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Posted:May 22, 2006 4:35 pm
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2009 9:53 pm
1723 Views
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since it has become as bothersome to me as it has, i am FORCED to do something here & i don't like it. in some things it would be a huge turn on, but in this instance its not!
it seems that at least once every post someone is asking for my email or to chat or mentioning meeting me in person! i believe i have explained in my profile that i AM NOT MEETING YOU IN PERSON!!! there have been a select few that i have already been in contact with that i will possibly meet in the future. but (unless i wink at or email you)i will not consider any more!!!
of particularly annoying nature are the ones from men with no picture, 3or4 lines in their profile, & NO BLOG! do you not see whats wrong with that picture??? as i am obviously the kind of person that communicates expansively, i have several pictures(yes i know none of my face, but so the fuck what?!?) i obviously can read, so why would i respond to someone without more to recommend them than "i am a fun person, i like sunsets & am well hung. looking for no strings week day sex" that could be used to describe half of my exes & they include: a manic-depressive drug dealer, an alcoholic, one was in prison for 9 years for vehicular manslaughter, & a lazy paranoid conspiracy theorist. so what the fuck would i want another one of THEM for?
if you really read my profile or blog,you would know that i am really not into direct queries, & don't respond to many comments either. not trying to be rude, i just don't have a lot of desk time, & type SLLLOOOOWWWWLLLLY. which is why it PISSES ME OFF that i have to write this to begin with!! i could be writing a juicy suck story right now instead of bitching!
so- i truly appreciate hearing from MOST of you. but if you cant just leave something like-" i like the way you write, liked your profile, i agree with your opinion on....", or "your stories turn me on" then just don't say anything at all!!!!!!
furthermore, if that leaves you with any doubts, please turn to kaliedascope61's [blog Kaliedascope61], & the post "[how to pick up women on the blogs revised & revisited]" if you still don't get it, the little red X in the right corner of the screen is all you need on my blog.
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saturday night kegger!!
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Posted:May 22, 2006 12:03 pm
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2009 9:51 pm
1774 Views
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saturday afternoon my mom came to the house to stay with the as i had a wedding to go to. after the reception there was "chad's" birthday party to go to.( see my earlier blog- i think it was new image for the rolodex) so after getting all dressed up for the wedding, (which was beautiful & FORMA i got to chad's in a pouring rainstorm. the party was in the backyard where he has a big camper permanently set up on the creek, complete with power water a large deck & a fridge just for the keg. there were more people there than expected & guess who! if you've read the blog mentioned above, i bet you can guess- "uncle frank!!"
since i brought a tent & wasn't planning on driving, i dove into the keg right away, & several partiers had brought "herbal refreshments" as well. so it didn't take long for me to get pretty buzzed. since franks wife was there i had to make a point of keeping my distance or i would have started something. what made it even more difficult was when i would turn to look at him from across the room & find him staring at me!
then there was "kelly"-so called because she reminds me of a "girl i once knew"- my age but looks younger, long wild dark hair, dark exotic skin, flashing eyes & smile, & a crazy personality! i caught a reference to handcuffs in her conversation with a friend, & my interest was caught for sure! several times while passing in the crowd she touched me, & it felt like fire! she reached out & touched my hair once & commented to someone else on how soft it was, & i about melted! she ended up being very drunk in the end, & i confiscated her keys, set up my tent in a dry spot( it had stopped raining & i was the only one with the sense to NOT put my tent next to the creek- lowest ground) i was all a-flutter with images of us in my tent, & when i went back to the party to check on her, a friend had called to check on her & picked her up!!!! talk about a let down! so i spent the rest of the night alone in my tent with the toy i brought just in case, dreaming of dark hair & dusky skin.
oh well. i got lots of really good blackmail pics of some coworkers, & a few great ones of kelly, & even a few of frank. i may even post some on here of the fabulous shoes i bought for the wedding.....
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friday night alone
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Posted:May 22, 2006 11:22 am
Last Updated:Oct 15, 2008 4:27 pm
1634 Views
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such an eventful weekend!!! first Friday night, i was here, just browsing around, peeping in on some blogs, catching up on things, when my computer flickered, & i took off the headphones.(sonia dada) there was a major thunderstorm rolling in & just to be on the safe side, i turned off the computer. as i was already primed, i got out the toy box, opened the blinds, laid the wrong way on the bed (to be next to the window) watching the lightning, stroking my clit. i have always had a "thing" for thunderstorms, & this one didn't disappoint! the bed shook(not just from me) the thunder rattled the windows & the lightning light up the sky, flickering across my naked trembling body. i have always been multi-orgasmic, & once i have a good one, i can let myself come down a little, then easily have another more intense one. over the next 2 hours i came at least 15 times! i rode the peaks of my own lust, coming hard with every flash & rumble outside! i rarely gush when i am alone, but i did Friday!!!
by the time the fireworks had passed to a steady, soothing rain, i was exhausted, & slept like a baby until dawn. when i woke it was to enjoy the clean air over a cup of coffee on the porch. smiling at the sight of water dripping from the leaves, memories of the night before & thoughts of what was to come tonight.....
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why be a sub?
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Posted:May 18, 2006 8:02 pm
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2009 9:47 pm
1931 Views
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some may call this cheating, but as i have stated before i dont have a lot of free time on here. so i'm "copy & pasting" a blog i have on alt. just some more insight into me...
i've been doing some research lately, & have been trying to figure myself out, as i relate to the lifestyle. i was on a website by Peter Masters today, & according to His philosophy, i am not a "slave" as i thought i might be. i do have a lot of interest in Gor scenes, but don't have a compulsion to submit. i do think i am an immediate & psychological submissive(in His context)
i have also been thinking alot about when this first began for me. i remember seeing a poster at a friends' ( i think it was van halen) in it was a blond woman on her knees, hands cuffed above her head to a chain link fence. i was shocked & aroused at the same time, even though i was only 14 & didn't really understand arousal yet. i was raised in a house where we didn't talk about sex even in private whispers-(southern baptist) so i was very confused. there have been several partners i have dabbled around with a swat on the bottom, or "tying up"- nothing that couldn't be slipped out of without effort. but these encounters always left me feeling teased, like sex without orgasm. i just knew there was something more i wanted.
i had one lover in my mid 20's that got close; i think he understood my need to be controlled on some level. sometimes he would tell me to be silent or he would stop whatever he was doing. if i made even the slightest sound, he would get up without a word & go light a cigarette. so i would be writhing in frustration, begging him to please come back to bed & i would be quiet. he would eventually come back, telling me that if i did it again he was done with me for the night, & he would make me watch him finish himself off. then he would take me with a vengeance as if daring me to so much as sigh! it was such exquisite torture! other times he would go through the same drill only i could make noise but not move!
i have wondered what it is that makes us desire to submit. is it a childhood experience, or something deeper? i have often wondered if, in my own case, could it be connected to the Gor books i read in my late teens. i had a best friend & lover at the time that i was very much in love with (he didn't know i felt like THAT) who loaned me 3 of the early novels after watching a Conan movie with me. well i was hooked. He went off to the army for 4 years, & when He came back i had 20 of the series. so did getting the books from Him put the suggestion in my head, or did He just give me direction? coincidentally, He is the L.G. i have spoken of here(alt) before. when He came back from the army i had already had a 1.5 X 2 in. sterling silver plate engraved with His symbol, & intended to offer myself to Him to be collared. but life happened & i never had the chance. i still have nights that i imagine the feel of the leather, & hear the click of the lock. one day i will wear His brand. but that's another story.....
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anybody in west NC interested in a group meeting?
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Posted:May 18, 2006 6:58 pm
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2009 9:45 pm
1719 Views
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not necessarily for se awww!) i tried starting something under "groups" but as far as i can tell, those aren't visited very often. some from this area haven't been commented on in months, so i thought i'd try here. maybe have a "munch" or a family camp out(g-rated)to give those of us that don't get to get out alone much a chance to meet other like minded people & maybe a new playmate! there are an awful lot of cool places to go in asheville & the surrounding area, where you can take the & meet casually & publicly (safely)anybody interested? any thoughts on locations?
BTW- when i say get together i mean couples w/ & single parents. if i wanted to include the single childless guys im sure there would be LOTS of volunteers! but 4 now, for THIS kind of outing, i think we'd better limit that.
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sorry- i wasnt quite finished!
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Posted:May 18, 2006 8:25 am
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2009 9:44 pm
1599 Views
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i have a tendency to accidently hit the "enter" key when what i want to hit is "tab" so the poll wasnt quite done, or proofed.- added this because i know someone will notice something i goofed- see it?
XXXOOOXXX chanda
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dancer in my rolodex
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Posted:May 17, 2006 1:11 pm
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2009 9:38 pm
1857 Views
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Its a warm breezy evening, & you & i are walking hand in hand after a light meal, window shopping. the street we're on is leading into a darker, seedier area of town, with pawn shops & "adult video" stores replacing the more "respectable" businesses we usually frequent. we decide to take the next turn, & circle back to head for home, & your hand slips to my ass, giving it a light squeeze, & you whisper in my ear that you want me to strip for you later. as i am imagining myself on the coffee table swaying before you, i raise my eyes, & what is before me but a giant sign that says GIRLS. i catch my breath & stop, looking into your eyes, the longing in mine unmistakable. we approach the door, the scent of liquor, smoke, sweat & cheap perfume drifting out to meet us as if to entice us further. when you pay the doorman, he looks me up & down, & his appraisal is clear- looks good, but too uptight to be any real fun. boy do i have news for him!!
as our eyes adjust, i can see there aren't many people here, a few construction crews & out of townies in suits being teased by the scantily clad waitresses. we find a table near the dance platform as the music changes to a slow, sultry beat. the lights go almost totally out, except for a spotlight near the center stage.
when she appears, it is a shock! she looks enough like me to be a sister! our eyes are drawn to her as she slowly sways, her hips writhing breasts swaying to the beat. when she is near enough to see us you put a bill in her garter, & i can see the thin film of sweat glistening above her pink nipples. her eyes meet mine & widen slightly, then a slow smile spreads across her face, as if she has just recognized a kindred soul. she glides away, to tease others, & i am left stunned with my desire to climb between her thighs, to make her smile again. when her turn on stage is over , she comes to our table, leans up close to us pressing her breasts against my arm & looks into your eyes. "wouldn't it be interesting to have us dancing side by side?" she says. i can see that the idea is getting you very excited, & i ask her if they allow audience members on stage. "if i say so they will" she throws over her shoulder as she saunters away.
i am speechless at this point, & all you do is nod when she comes back for me. she leads me to a dressing room, putting me in a thin filmy silk robe matching hers.
on stage, in the dark, she softly cups my cheek & whispers, "just let the music take you" & kisses me softly as the music touches us, as if catching us in a stolen embrace. the lights start at our feet, so close together, slowly moving up our entwined bodies writhing against each other. we never leave each other touching teasing tasting throwing a glance to you telling of pleasures to come. she leads me to the edge of the platform, allowing others to give her their offerings, to attempt to gain her favor, some reaching for me, only for her to slap their hand away possessively.
as the music fades, she heads for our table & pulls you along to the dressing room. by the time we shut the door, locking it with a decisive click, we are all breathless & laughing. you push us both on the couch, appraising the sheen on our bodies. kneeling in front of us, you slide 2 fingers into each of us at the same time, making us both gasp. you lean forward to kiss her clit standing erect as if begging for you. i roll to my side & rub her now hard nipples, then suck one into my mouth- so sweet! you begin to rhythmically pump your fingers into her, sucking loudly on her clit. i pull her onto her side, facing me, as you put our top legs on your shoulders, our tits & pussies pressed against each other. now you can have either of us at whim! you slide off your jeans, stroking your throbbing cock, as i kiss her deeply, fiercely taking her ass in my hand & pulling her hard against me- she gasps & her pussy throbs!!
you slowly slide your cock into me, deeper, deeper, until you are grinding against me, your hip against her clit. she is thrusting against you with need, so you pull out of me, & with a sardonic grin,tease her lips with the head of you cock, dripping with my juices, before slamming that thick meat hard into her! she gasps & grips me hard, moaning & bucking against you. you pump into her sopping wet hole as hard as you can, until she is begging for release! but not yet! you jerk your cock from her & pull me up to lick & suck her nectar from every inch of you as she watches, trembling with desire. when i have licked you clean, you lay her on the couch on her belly, & i drape myself over her, both of us "doggy style" spread & ready to receive you. you slide deep within us each, one after the other, until we are all aching, trembling for release.
suddenly we all come together, screaming groaning gushing all over each other! we lay piled all over each other, arms holding tight, legs trembling,sweat mixing beneath us. we lay silent for a while, then dress slowly, not wanting the evening to end. when we leave the dressing room, it is to find the bar dark. they have closed while we were busy. as we wind between the tables, making our way to the door, i can see the faint glow from a cigarette in the corner, & there is movement. the doorman steps into a patch of light glowing in the window, & he smiles. he heard it all. walking down the dark street, heading home, i squeeze your hand & smile. guess i wasn't so uptight after all!
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new one for the mental rolodex!
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Posted:May 6, 2006 6:43 pm
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2009 9:36 pm
2060 Views
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i went to see a friend's band play saturday night in a hole in the wall redneck biker pool hall. "chad" was really good on drums, & the other 2 were mediocre at best.
but that's not what this is about....
"Frank" was there. chads Uncle.some of you may know, from the few times ive chatted, that i have a lust for TOM BERINGER. "last of the dogmen" is one of my favorite movies. it just so happens that "Frank" is practically a ringer when dressed right, and He was!!!! unfortunately, He was with His wife, on their 4th anniversary, & as i was acting D.D. all i could do was look. had i been drunk, i might have asked her if she wanted to make this a memorable one for Him, but i just don't think she would have went for it.
so instead ive been walking around all frustrated, with flashes of scenes popping up in my mental rolodex at the most inopportune times.
like the one where we ride horseback(we both do regularly) to the top of a mountain i know, where there is a huge stone table, with a horizon map of the visible mountains.when we get to the top,we get off & tie the horses.He goes to the table & sits down, beckoning me over. I'm trembling as i approach, my juices flowing at he thoughts racing through my mind. he wraps his brawny arms around me as i kneel on the bench in front of Him. He kisses me softly as i slide down between His thighs, caressing the already swelling length of Him. as i release His Cock from His jeans, i take just the head into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it. He slides His hands into my hair on both sides of my head, making a fist close to my neck with my hair, guiding my eager mouth along His shaft. as i begin to rhythmically pump up and down His throbbing cock, He rocks His hips in time with me, thrusting more & more strongly, holding my head just where He wants it. until i am not moving, just held immobile, moaning, my mouth open, tongue seeking, lips being battered by His rock hard cock. finally when i am moaning & twitching with need of Him, He draws Himself from my face, thrusts me up onto the table on my belly, where i lay looking out at the full moon over the valley below, my legs spread almost painfully wide, waiting for Him to use me. when He does, it to do no more than lay the head of His cock on my swollen pussy lips & tell me not to move. i stay as still as i can, but with that hot solid pressure on my lips, & His fingers teasing my clit, i cant take much before I'm begging Him to please take me. so He sloooowwly slides deeper into me, until He is buried deep within me. He pulls me up, keeping me impaled on Him, until i am no longer kneeling, or standing on anything, being suspended by His cock in my puss, one arm around my waist pulling me ferociously onto Him, the other hand fisted in the back of my hair. He never really pulls back to thrust, just digs deeper & deeper, latching on to the back of my neck with His teeth. by now i'm wailing, begging Him to allow me to come. He reaches under both my arms wraps His hands around my shoulders, & grits out" then HOLD ON" & begins pumping furiously! He was punishing my pussy, fucking me hard, grunting with each thrust. the pressure was building inside me & when it burst, the whole table was drenched in my juices! my come was running down His legs, as He came He let out a primal roar, & i felt like i would be split in 2 by His driving force. after we laid there silent, catching our breath, we laid in awe on that table, staring at the stars so close it looks like you could reach them.
so when you've had that in your head all day.......
makes it so hard to concentrate!!
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bitch session!!!!
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Posted:May 6, 2006 6:36 pm
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2009 9:34 pm
1620 Views
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this is a copy of a blog/article i put in alt.com as chanda68. but it also goes perfectly here!!!
i am so TIRED of getting email from sub males & illiterate, non-communicative couples!!! i am very clear in my profile that i am a sub yet i have received several messages from men asking to be dominated!! and even more from 4 line profiles with self portraits of a cock. i assume these to be from men trying to live out a fantasy without letting "wife" know. well get over it! i will not help anyone cheat even in cyberspace! also, if you are not smart enough to write correctly in your own language, at least use spell check! i have even received several that read, " read your blog, liked it, we have a lot in common, blah, blah, blah...."
do they not know there is a list of recent visitors to the blog that comes up when you pull it up? that you can check to see if they've even been there?
O.K. now that my "dander" is up, i think ill go write a good suck story. thanks for the bitch session! see you at the blogs!
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To link to this blog (rm_chanda69) use [blog rm_chanda69] in your messages.
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