guess what!
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Posted:Jul 8, 2006 3:18 pm
Last Updated:Oct 15, 2008 4:56 pm
1699 Views
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immmm baaaack! hold the applause. ha-ha. funny.
have had a series of shitty things happen recently, nothing too major, just very annoying & time consuming.
i have come to a realization about my blog. i need to stay away from contests, promised stories & such. i get a writers block when i dont get them done promptly, & then feel guilty about not doing what i said i would, so i avoid being here. so from now on, no notice that a story is forthcoming, it will just be here. K? good.
.
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missed you all....
a few especially....
XXXOOOXXX chanda
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life intruding
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Posted:Jul 6, 2006 7:45 pm
Last Updated:Oct 15, 2008 4:55 pm
1692 Views
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life is intruding, be back soon! just wanted to say hi all!
bath story still in the works!
XXXOOOXXX chanda
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my virginity was HAD last night!!!
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Posted:Jun 29, 2006 9:15 am
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2008 10:51 pm
2143 Views
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well,.. sort of. ive always just talked to people from here while on here. but last night after 2 months of an occasional hi or wink with this adorable guy, we were both on IM at the same time & talked & exchanged pics for 4 hours! i think we have some things in common, not a perfect match,( I'm under no disillusions) but enough to have fun with. it would just be nice to have someone to go out & party with, & if you end up in the same bed, great!
so after all the time spend discussing likes,& dislikes, do you do this, have you ever...
i was so horny i was squirming in my chair!! i told him he could pick from the toys in my pics & thats the one i would use later.& OH DID I !!! signed off @2:45, got off @2:55-
(i had to get a drink)
i laid there in bed with my pink vibrating jelly, imagining it was him.....
by the time i was done, i had come 9 times & i was breathless & shaking!
if i don't get laid soon, somebody's going to be in trouble when i do!
maybe it wont be me that needs a safeword...(giggles)
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please help me!!!
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Posted:Jun 29, 2006 8:39 am
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2009 3:28 pm
1835 Views
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OK i need some feed back here--
this is the email i sent L.G. may 18th (if you dont know who L.G. is- read back dont ask now please) this is someone i have been closer to than ANYONE. i have told him many things that no one else knew. the longer this goes on, the harder it is.so if i am wrong, i want to know. i am prepared to grovel....
well i don't know if you're going to be speaking to me now or not. I'm not sure why you're mad at ME though. because of something i told my MOTHER??? about my BROTHER???? i just know I'm sick of feeling like I'm in the middle of a pissing contest where neither of the contestants will discuss the rules with each other or even admit they are in it!!!! i have loved you since the first day i met you & i always will. what that means to me is also accepting that there are things about you that i don't like much. there are opinions you have that i don't share, but that is my right, & i have accepted that they are a part of you & i love you anyway. but something you have to remember is S***** is my BROTHER. the ONLY blood sibling i will ever have. that doesn't mean i like everything about him, & i can see & accept his faults & shortcomings & love him anyway. none of us are perfect, including me( GOD KNOWS!!) but i will not be in the middle ANY MORE! according to S***** you don't want him to move, & you haven't expressed to him any of the dissatisfaction you have told me about at length.
i cant help but wonder, if you aren't calling me to bitch about H***** or S******, will you still call, & if you do, what will you say? I'm not saying its all there is to our conversations, but since they moved in there hasn't been one conversation that you haven't spent a significant amount of time hashing out the problems there. so how much have you said about it to S******?
i also wonder with all this being said, will you still consider yourself my friend? i don't think I've ever really told you off before but believe me had you answered the phone when i left the message last night that would have changed. there have been times before that you have treated me with a total lack of respect due any human, & i just let it slide & chalked it up as unintentional & part of who you are. there have been times (like last night)had someone treated YOU that way, you would have been ready to rip out their throat, so why do you apparently believe it is acceptable for you to dish it out? after the events in my life the last 7 years, i will not be treated that way any more. so if that is the way you intend to terminate conversations with me when you have a hair up your ass, then don't call in the first place. i would NEVER treat you that way & will accept nothing less from anyone in my life, including you.
so when you decide to get your head out of your ass, call me. just know that weather you call me again or not, you have been a very important part of my life for a very long time, & i will always love you, no matter what. so if it takes a while before i hear from you again, O.K. when i do, i will assume we are still friends & will welcome you with open arms.
your kajira, but no ones doormat.
XXOO
chanda/C*****
the pic is the one i sent with it
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blue
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Posted:Jun 27, 2006 9:33 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2008 10:56 pm
1838 Views
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i often associate colors with moods. this evening i have shifted around from a drab periwinkle; just no energy, want to sit around & sigh kind of color, to a roiling dark navy/steel blue mix; ready to rip off the head of a pro wrestler & shit down his neck, to now.
a gray dawn.
i got to thinking about L.G. tonight. if you don't know who that is, read a few pages back. also, my first post was about him, although he wasn't named in it. i don't really expect many comments from "the regulars" either, i just need to talk about him.
we haven't talked in a month, & its killing me. my brother rented a room from him for several months recently, & things got to where every time we talked, it was a solid bitch session about what he was doing that drove L.G. crazy. things came to a head, i couldn't take feeling in the middle anymore & after he got rude on the phone, i told him what i thought in an email. bro has since moved out (they straightened things out before he left) & they still talk regularly now. i sent another email saying i wasn't going to retract what i said, but that i missed him & hoped he would respond. he hasn't.
so now, after sending him a last email saying that it would be the last, i feel caught. after the abusive history with men that ive survived, it was a major milestone for me to be able to stand up for myself in a civilized fashion & say i wont be treated that way. (NEVER had a problem cussin fightin & generally "gettin red" when i didn't like something.) so if i apologize, I'm pretty sure he would relent, but then i cheat myself. & if i don't.... well he is as stubborn as i am, or more so, so this may be the end. I'm not sure how i feel about it, & its worth. a few weeks ago if he had called me & said "I'm moving to NC & you're getting branded" i would have been making space & calling around for bod. mod. shops. the idea of never having him in my life again is so foreign, i just don't know.....
hes just been a part of my life for so long! there's not much sexual i haven't done with (or talked about it with) him. i was thinking about a couple i got a message from on here earlier, & started imagining the 4 of us together.
i feel really empty right now, so I'm gonna go. probably wont post for a few days- real life strikes again! but i will check in & say hi.
later!
XXXOOOXXX chanda
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when a friend goes missing...
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Posted:Jun 26, 2006 7:31 am
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2009 3:30 pm
1929 Views
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anybody ever find someone on here that, because of extenuating circumstances, you know you will probably never meet face to face, but has a huge impact on what you say? or how frequently you check your blog for comments? now what happens if that person suddenly stops blogging with no other way for you to contact them?
did you lose interest to an extent? (in blogging)
did you explore other places on here or other websites? like groups?
did you try to cultivate other previously neglected friendships?
i recently had a similar experience. i actually did all of the above. i haven't blogged much in the last week, groups suck- nobody responds much, but i have found some interesting people. so i guess it hasn't been a total loss.
so i sent an e-mail to my friend, something i just don't mess with often on here, & conveyed my concern, & he's back! real world strikes again! but i think he was pleased that he was missed here.
so if someone you talk to a lot on here goes away for a time,
what do you do to welcome them back??
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anybody wanna play???
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Posted:Jun 22, 2006 9:03 pm
Last Updated:Oct 15, 2008 4:50 pm
1895 Views
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i lifted this from timberwolf6972... (cant seem to get the links right) hmmmm. anybody wanna play??
if you will leave a comment i will...
1. Respond with something random that I know or think I know about you.
2. I will tell you what song or movie or celebrity you remind me of.
3. If you are a male/female, I will tell you the most likely place that you and I will ever make out.
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me or at the very least make some something up that may give the peeps something to talk about.
5. I will tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I will tell you what your name would be if you were the opposite gender.
7. I will ask you something that I have always wondered about you.
8. In order to play here you should be willing to post this yourself So please repost this in your Blog and......... Let the games begin ....
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missed it!!
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Posted:Jun 22, 2006 7:49 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2008 10:58 pm
1862 Views
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i was checking to see if there had been a response to a comment i left on another blog tonight, when i realized i had passed a milestone & didnt even know it! i now have 105 posts! i wanted to do something fun for the 100th, but it ended up being the "song" post. oh well. such is the story of my life!
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fuck story
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Posted:Jun 19, 2006 8:31 pm
Last Updated:Oct 15, 2008 4:50 pm
2635 Views
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--a copy of a post on another site- for more background see the last post.
i had to go to support court today with an ex that i hadn't
seen in 10 years until Feb 2. He came over one time since then
& we got an hour alone & couldn't keep our hands
off!! Today, when we got back He fixed something on my van
& came inside for a while. When i thanked Him for it,
He leaned back & said i think you know a better way to
thank me than that - and it was on!! i may not have seen Him
in years, but i still remembered the size of Him & He
knew how to use it then- Hes been telling me on the phone how
much of a freak He is. Hes been living with a bisexual topless
dancer (for12yrs!) that brought girls home from the bar
to share; so i knew i was in for a wild ride!
i started off slowly working my way down His body with my
tongue, teasing his nipples as i ease off His shirt. He loves
long hair, & i love to caress a lovers body through it.
so it took me a while before i released His thick cock from
His jeans. i loved the taste of Him! i slowly took all of Him
into my mouth that i could, but ive only recently been able
to really deep throat, & even semi hard, i had to work
to get very far. we were in a 69 position on our sides &
i was really enjoying this slow head i was savoring when
He began slowly stroking the inside of my thigh & giving
me that "look" & slid 2 fingers in! before
i could even gasp, His tongue was on my clit, slow and warm.
i couldent help but moan thats when He turned & said
"youre not allowed to move" i thought i would
come right then! we had never discussed any role playing
or DOM/sub activities, so hearing that was like a ray of
hope! i tried so hard to be still but He finally told me to
just lay there with His cock in my mouth & concentrate
on that & be still! Then He went back to my pussy with
a vengence!- fingers tongue & teeth! When i was gasping
for air around the throbbing object of my lust in my mouth,
He suddenly flips me around on my back, places His swollen
cock against my dripping pussy lips & tells me i cant
have any more until i tell Him He can have what He wants. With
a grin He whispers "I want your ass" i had already
told myself i wasn't going to go there, but now He was
rubbing my clit, my pussy down to my ass with the head of His
hot meat! i tried to wiggle myself further up onto Him when
i thought i had Him distracted, but He pulled back &
"No, No, No, you havent given me my answer"
i couldn't take it any more! i whispered "O.K."
"No, " He said, "That's not the way
you ask" all I could do was lay there & twitch for
a moment, then i lay my head at his knee & said "please
fuck my ass." He rolled me over onto my stomach &
had me up on my knees with my ass in the air, cheeks & pussy
spread wide & vulnerable. He lubed up his hand &
told me to rub my clit. He kept a finger slowly rubbing my
ass as He slid 3 fingers inside me, & i could feel my warm
juice run down my leg. He slowly worked a finger into my ass,
telling me to relax, & how wild & sexy i am. then
He began to rub the head of His cock against my ass, slowly
sliding in, until He was half inside me! that's when
He stopped & said that was all i had to take for today.
but i wanted more by then, so i rocked myself back against
Him, & said "may i have more please?" "that's
what I thought you'd say" He chuckled & slid
the rest of His shaft deep into my quivering ass, grinding
Himself against my bucking body, by now i was moaning &
groaning, whimpering that it felt sooo good!!! when my
body stopped shaking uncontrollably, He slid out &
went to the bathroom & brought back a towel & wet
washcloth & said "I should make you clean Me up"
i jumped up as quickly as my tender body would allow me, to
kneel between his feet with the washcloth & soap, lovingly
cleansing every inch of Him because He wasn't finished
& i was hoping i could have him in my mouth again- what
was that saying about being careful what you wish for???
when i was done washing Him, He told me I had some unfinished
business to attend to, so i gratefully took Him between
my lips, rolling my tongue around the head, gently caressing
His balls, slowly working my way down His shaft until i couldn't
breathe! i wanted to feel Him slide down my throat but He
was too BIG! He knew i was frustrated, & asked me gently, "would
you like me to help you out?" all i could do was nod,
so He guided me around so my head was hanging off the side
of the bed, He stood over me & said "I'm going
to push you. If you really want to be able to do this, this
is the only way its going to happen. It may hurt, but I think
you can handle it"
with that He slid His cock to the back of my throat & began
rhythmically sliding, slowly from the very back where
i couldn't breathe, till all i had was the tip, reaching
greedily for Him with my tongue.then as He slid in a little
slower, He firmly said "Now" & pressed
Himself into my throat! He didn't go very far, but held
Himself until i gagged, & when i had recovered myself,
He slowly withdrew. when i could do more than gasp, all i
could say was "more" so we began again, and again,
and again, until i had almost all of Him!! i came, shuddering,
His hand drenched by my cunt juice as He slammed 3 fingers
deep inside me, His cock throbbing inside my throat! before
i stopped shuddering, He threw me up on the bed hooked His
arms under my knees, bent me in half & slammed the entire
length of His battering ram deep inside me, pushing me up
until i was curled in on myself! all i could do was wail !!
He gritted His teeth He was pushing His cock into me so hard
just a constant pressure... He leaned in close & said
"you can fuck whoever you want since I live 3 hours
away, but from now on you are going to ask before you loan
out My pussy... WONT you?" i couldn't take anymore
!!! i came violently, but could do nothing more than shake
& moan as He was covering me completely with His body,
holding me tight until it was over, & i was coherent
again. only then did i realize what i had done without saying
a word. He knows now what i'm into-(i showed Him my profile
on here) but that moment, with my body's betrayal,
(or affirmation?) is when we both realized- i am His.
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should i or shouldent i???
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Posted:Jun 19, 2006 8:16 pm
Last Updated:Oct 15, 2008 4:49 pm
1852 Views
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well the ex will be coming to town to pick up our & bring over some stuff that he & the girlfriend don't have room for now that they're in an apartment. - swing set, electric 4 wheeler, outside toys.
when he came to town for court a few months ago, i hadn't seen him in 10 yrs, but it only took a few hours before we were shoulder to shoulder & thigh to thigh in the courtroom. almost had a quickie standing up on the back porch, but there were too many around. the next time everybody was at school, & oh boy!! i'll copy a post from another site about THAT one!
but now he & the girlfriend are back together, & im not sure i want to go there. but like he says "if i see a $50. laying in the street i'm not going to step over it!" & it's SO DAMN GOOD!!!! i'll let you know thursday!
btw- the girlfriend is the one he left me for- a bisexual topless dancer that used to bring girls home to share.i've met her- she's hot! (at least it wasn't a "girl next door type) & she knows things happened last time, so its not like it would be a surprise if it did happen again.
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my songs
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Posted:Jun 18, 2006 10:08 pm
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2009 3:07 pm
1863 Views
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so should i take it that everybody's thinking about the songs they want to put in their comments, or that nobody gives a shit? oh well. mine are:
romantic- "drift off to dream"-travis tritt
"i do" david ball
"i can only love you like a man"
trace atkins
mad- "faith" limp bizkit
"nookie" limp bizkit
"get a job" outkast
fuck "in the air tonight" phil collins
"closer" nine inch nails
"voodoo" godsmack
ok so they might not all make sense & this is probably the only list where you'll find phil collins listed with godsmack, but its my list! so there!
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getting to know you
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Posted:Jun 18, 2006 8:11 am
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2009 3:05 pm
1777 Views
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so here's a "getting to know you"
what are your 3 favorite romantic songs.. to slow dance to, or for making love.
what are your 3 favorite anger songs... the kind you want to crank up & blast out the windows when you're mad.
what are your 3 favorite fuck songs...i think thats pretty self explanitory.
my list in the next post.
HUGS to all!
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To link to this blog (rm_chanda69) use [blog rm_chanda69] in your messages.
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