closet freak
the average life of a single mom in almost middle class america, with savory tidbits of the exploits & fantasies of a pierced, cock swallowing, clit sucking, closet freak. did i sit next to you at last weeks ballgame?
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Posted:Mar 21, 2011 10:50 pm
Last Updated:Oct 14, 2014 9:23 am

having a broken hearted sleepless night. thought i'd found something, but turns out it was something that was thrown away, not something lost.
just saying hi!
Posted:Mar 5, 2011 6:13 am
Last Updated:Oct 14, 2014 9:24 am

hello all! just wanted to drop in & say hi if there are any of my old friends still around...

ive finally found my niche i think- there is a site i was told about long ago that i made a profile on, but didnt really follow through, guess i wasnt really ready then, but i am now. anyway its called fet life (but as 1 word) & i made real time contact & went to a munch 2 months ago & then a valentines party with my new friends. now i have 2 mentors that are the most wonderful couple, and a Dominant that is my friend lover & teacher. so things are shaping up really well there. things in my life have changed a lot, & i have very little online time, so i wont be back here other than the occasional drop in & say hi. so if you want to find me look for me there- same name same attitude!

as always... XXXOOOXXXchanda
thought i would
Posted:Feb 25, 2010 2:09 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2011 8:07 pm

40 year old Man
Charlotte, North Carolina

"i thought i would"

like to meet and fuck you. that is, until i read the part about your READING YOUR BLOG, which i didn't read as I have a life. i've found bloggers on a swinger's internet site are seriously lacking for attention and spend far too much time on the computer with make-believe friends wasting time that could be spent fucking real friends. you keep blogging, i'll keep fucking.

that is all. enjoy the reality check. blog on.

This member has opted to turn off receiving mail at this time. Most times, this means that the member is taking a break from Senior Sizzle, only wishes to contact others, or visit people in the chatrooms.

this is the bullshit message i got today!! obviously this jerk has one view of the world- his! what he hasnt figured out is that people are on here for their own reasons. some to chat some to blog & others to find fuck friends. i personally dont need a place like this to find someone to fuck got plenty to choose from in the real world. but what really pisses me off is that this message wasnt there when i logged on; it showed up when i was checking someone elses blog. IVE ONLY BEEN ON HERE 10 MINUTES!!! what did he do send the message & turn off his email immediately?? just a chicken shit that wanted to pick a fight & run!!

& just what the hell made you think I'D want to fuck YOU???

stupid pansy ass chicken shit pussyboy

probably not even a picture of you!

ok sigh..... i feel better now. thoughts anyone?
what i would do if He could have been here for His birthday...
Posted:Feb 21, 2010 9:53 pm
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2010 6:02 pm

Well things have been stirring in chandaland lately...

I bought a truck!!!

& i have a dog!!!

& im buying a house!!!

& i sort of have a man in my life!!!

So much is changing (for the better).....
So i think i need to put something good on here to remind myself im still me!!!
A little background..... the man in my life is JK; ive known him about 20 years, never hooked up-we were just never single at the same time-he’s a professional tattooist(for about 20 years) biker (H-D variety) dark curly hair longer than mine, laid back, mans man kinda guy...

He has also has me screaming before he even gets my clothes off.....
We haven’t talked D/s yet, but i have a feeling he has at least dabbled, & has a VERY Dom bearing about him in bed.
So today was His birthday, & since He lives 400 miles away, i couldn’t spend it with Him. This is where the sort of comes in. He lives on the coast, & im in the Appalachians, so He comes up for the weekend every few weeks. If things keep on the way they have been, He’ll probably move up here before the end of the year...
Anyway today is His birthday, & i spent a good part of the morning home, alone, in bed thinking about what i would do if He were here....
The property i’m buying is at the end of the cove, surrounded by thick brushy woods, a doublewide on top. In a small field just below is the remains left from a trailer being repossessed, including a large porch. I put some supplies on the porch during the day & make them ready for the evening... king size mattress with flannel sheets, cooler with drinks & munchies, candles & the toy box. Then i go to make myself ready....

After showering & a meticulous shave, im dressed in black silk pj’s & robe when He gets home- finishing up early for Him-10:00 PM. (usually works till 12 or 1 & goes to sleep about dawn) so i send Him up for a shower, His things laid out for Him, warmed towels...
When he comes down i brush His long dark hair for Him, & ask Him to go for a walk with me. He complies, a bemused smile on His face, He knows i’m up to something. We walk the hundred yards or so through the woods to the porch, & as we round the corner the lit candles are visible, full moon in the sky....
I led Him up the steps to the mountain of pillows on the bed & asked Him to sit down. I offered Him a drink, adjusted His pillows so He was half sitting up- better view- and proceeded to kneel at His feet. I slipped the robe from my shoulders, just healing ink-His work- on my back stinging a little in the cool night air.
He settled in for the ride, hands folded behind His head as I started on the inside of His ankles... caressing His skin with my face. Not lips, not tongue, but sliding my cheek along the side of His calf, the bridge of my nose behind His knee...caressing Him up His legs, along His sides running my fingers through the soft hair on His chest (just enough & not too much) my lips nibbling at His ribs playfully, slowly climbing to His neck... sliding my cheek along His as i pull away....

He leans in to kiss me &
i pull away...playfully....

Instantly a hand reaches out to the back of my neck... not gripping not pulling just stopping the retreat. The look in His eyes said
“I indicated i wanted a kiss. Now”
and He waited.

It wasn’t part of my plan, to kiss Him at this point, but if i was going to show Him what kind of sub i might be, this was not the time to be defiant. I leaned forward slowly offering my lips, looking into His eyes & the hand on my nape became a grip holding my head just out of lips range...
looking into my eyes...
a slight grin......

“Good girl”
Chills down my spine....


I rose to my knees spread just a bit wider than my hips, reached to my head & removed the pins that had been holding my hair in place, until now in a loose knot. I shook it free, spreading the silken strands through my fingers to my hips. I knelt beside Him, leaning in to softly kiss the side of His neck, my hair gliding like warm silk up His side. I rose higher and slid my hair across His chest, sliding down across His belly back & forth. His cock was fiercely erect which made it easy to slide all around the base with my hair without ever touching it. As i slowly wound my hair around His throbbing cock, i slid the silken wrapping from the base to the head, cocooning Him. When i looked up at Him, He was completely still. If not for the waves of energy coming off of Him you would have thought Him asleep in a recliner. He opened His eyes and looked at me...

As if

“you do know you’re not done....’

I bowed my head and slid over His leg to kneel between His legs, my Hair never releasing its hold. I leaned down, slowly sliding my hair down replacing its cool silk with the hot wet hunger of my mouth...Gliding my tongue all over the head, sliding down the shaft to the base slowly, rolling down His balls and up the other side to His cock sliding up slowly, lightly flicking the head...
Gently i feel His hands on my face, pulling me back, running His fingers through my hair pulling it away from my face. He takes a firm hand hold on each side guiding my mouth back to His throbbing cock holding my head just out of reach... my tongue reaching my eyes pleading He sloooowly brings my head within reach.... as i lapped at the dewy drops at the tip He slowly pulled me closer, closer till i had almost all of what i could take in my mouth without it going down my throat. Then He readjusted His grip on the sides of my head, and began slowly, rhythmically thrusting His straining cock in & out of my mouth. Pressure on the back of my throat at the deepest, almost out when He withdrew. Gliding slowly the tension in my belly building His grip tightening, He with drew & said

“You’re going to take it all this time”

And firmly pulled me down and slid into my throat.... His arm wrapped instantly around my neck & pulled me against Him my chin buried in His balls, my forehead against His belly......

One second...



And He releases me, sitting me up & looking into my eyes...

“good girl”
A wave of flush crosses my body

He reaches out & caresses my face then taking a handhold guides my face to His still swollen cock...


My mouth was sloppy wet when i slid my tongue around Him, gliding down over Him, all i could take & began to slowly, rhythmically slide my mouth up & down His shaft, the same way He had used my head...
A guttural noise... His grip on my head holding me captive impaled on Him throbbing in my mouth, filling my throat, His body convulsing, gripping mine. i stayed still until His grip loosened on my hair & i gently slid Him from my mouth, licking my lips as i went...
I went to get us a drink as He lay back against the pillows....

“Quite a beginning girl....
But wait till you see what I decided I was having for myself.....”

Evil eyebrow raised with a JK grin.......

But that kiddies is another story. It took 4 takes to get this finished & im tired & kitty is hissin at me again!!! Damn i thought the midlife crisis hormones were over!!! At least i have some one that can help me.... now if only He were not on the other side of the state!!! Cool thing is i could totally see Him being this way...Keep ya posted!!!
1 comment
just stopping in...
Posted:Feb 9, 2010 9:19 pm
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2011 3:42 pm

well i honestly didnt think it would be this long til i got to post again...
things are crazy in my house as usual- im working on buying a house, had a involved in a relationship breakup that moved back in & out in the last 2 weeks- complete with grandchild- might be buying a truck this weekend, & what i AM doing this weekend- getting my tattoo worked on!!!
i have a friend from "back in the day" thats coming back up to visit this weekend. last time he was here, i got the outline done for the beginning of my back piece. its "chanda"... buxom little devil complete with horns & tail on my right shoulder. when shes done i'll be getting my guardian angel in scarred battle gear on the left shoulder.(shes had a hard 30 something years watching my back...) cant wait!!!!
anyway cant stay long, have to go look at the truck in the morning before work... just wanted to say hi!!!!{{{HUGS}}}
sorta back
Posted:Jan 16, 2010 9:52 pm
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2010 5:59 pm

so im kinda back but not totally. i'll probably never really be back here like i once was, but did want to say hi! there are a few of you i've missed & hope you see this & take the time to say hi. anyway, i'll be dropping in from time to time, hope to hear from you!

be back soon! write me!!!
Posted:May 10, 2009 7:52 pm
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2010 8:17 pm

hadn't realized id been away from here so long!! ive been staying pretty busy te last few weeks, with prom, out of state family visiting, & of course, the dojo....
but that has me feeling a bit melancholy tonight. of course listening to something like melissa etheridge's "you can sleep while i drive" doesn't help with that much. but ive been thinking about Sensei alot, & since I'm pretty sure there's no chance of anything there, I'm about to totally throw myself into working out. there is a brown belt there that is testing for black this fall, & i have offered to be a punching bag/workout partner 2 nights a week. so that on top of the 2 nights a week in class should have me getting whipped into shape pretty quick, plus the benefit of personal instruction from an instructor- shes 50- & started this at 45. if she can do it, so can i!
wow... if thats not bipolar i don't know what is. at the beginning of the paragraph i was melancholy, & by the end, i was ready to kick ass! of course by then i was listening to "invincible" by disturbed. (My profile playlist on that Space) just goes to show how music really can soothe the savage beast... or pull her tail & get her hissing....

anyway- just saying hi. gonna be busy for a while getting beat up. if i get any colorful battle marks, i'll post them. be well & cya soon!
all 3 holes!!
Posted:May 1, 2009 11:53 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2010 8:29 pm

well looks like MoJoMack & jtwrigleyville were the only ones here- that showed their name anyway - 4 more that didn't. just so you know .... while you were here i was getting bent over the hood of a patrol car- after sucking his cock, which was before he was in my ass.... so now i really AM sore all over!!

going to bed now. will try to muster the energy to write the story in the morning. {{HUGS}}
wet & worn out!!
Posted:May 1, 2009 9:03 pm
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2009 9:07 pm

While im extremely hot & bothered right now, i am also exhausted. its been a long week, & tonight i tested for my yellow belt. i think i did well enough to pass, but i know where my weak spots are. im sore, got a bit of a buzz & my friend "Cuffs" is working. got a text from him a few minutes ago. i'll probably be off to see Him in a few, just to be sure EVERYTHING is sore.
so not going to be anything juicy here tonight, although i may change my mind when i get back & write about my little rendezvous.

be thinking about me....
what am i doing right now....
while you are reading this....
am i getting bent over the hood of a patrol car....
or on my knees with a mouthful of cock looking up at a badge?
1 comment
ATTENTION! Part 1 of my first real world BDSM conversation
Posted:Apr 27, 2009 9:57 pm
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2010 10:31 pm

So saturday evening after doing some ass kicking at the tournament i was still on a bit of an adrenaline high, ( not to mention spending the day watching Sensei ) & had to go blow off some steam. So i made a few calls to see who was out & about. got a call back from my friend "Rick." He was hanging out at the clubhouse of a motorcycle club where he is a prospect. He invited me to come hang out for a few. Now for those that have never been somewhere like this, some details.... it is members or invited guests only, there is a doorman & a "bartender", its byob, and there is a code of behavior that if not followed, will get you put out the door & quick. it was totally acceptable for the girl i sat with & i to show our tits, but would have gotten me booted had i showed her "'ol man" mine without asking her first. this particular place had a "living room" type area with 4 couches recliners a wide screen tv and computer area. there was also a pool table, 2 bathrooms a kitchen & the "booty room." (no i didn't see the booty room)
so im sitting at the bar, having a hysterical conversation with on outrageously flirtatious drunk 60ish biker. then a couple comes in & she sits next to me, then her man, then the Sargent at arms of the club - "Bear" (self explanatory name) we are all just having shots of crown & cutting up, & i notice the ring on her right ring finger. its a wide smooth silver band, with a small loose ring on the face, as a slave collar might be. i didn't say anything, but she caught me looking at it. in conversation, we were talking about piercings, & she said how she didn't know if she could handle having hers done. she told me her nipples were so sensitive, she couldn't even use nipple clamps that are tight

& she realized what she was saying & changed subject. so when the guys were occupied with something else i said quietly "i like your ring" she smiled & said do you know what it stands for?" i guess the smile said it all & we were off!!! shes a switch

(she didn't say, but i have a feeling by that she means she tops a female, i just don't see him letting her top HIM. about 5'10", he was almost as wide as he was tall, & solid, kind of quiet, lots of tats, & a lifetime club biker- mid 40 ish, ....made me weak kneed) so we sat & talked about the dungeon they are members of, about an hour from me.(they were in town for a rally) she is in real estate or accounting somewhere, dark hair, BEAUTIFULL natural breasts, very confident & self assured, &comfortable talking about BDSM. this dungeon sounds like a safe place, she seems genuinely knowledgeable in the lifestyle, & gave me her card with their numbers. she told me anytime i wanted to come down & check out the club to let her know, they'd take me.

just to look around.

so i need imput. what do you think? im going to get some information before i drive down there. if i cant find out where it is, maybe speak to someone ahead of time? do you think it would be safe? Hellllllllp!
i want to go..... squirming in my chair, envisioning running into Seren there, knowing
who He was immediately from across the room. the kind of man that can dress casually, sit back & sip an expensive drink & radiate sexual power. when i catch His eye, they widen slightly, then a smile reaches his eyes but his lips never moved. He beckoned me over, & i couldn't help but respond. He is someone i met on line, have had many conversations with, knew He was in the lifestyle but didn't know he was in the area. we
made small talk for a few minutes then le led me on a tour of the house. there was a room with a St Andrews cross, rooms of chains some with benches & tables, some with big beds with tethers, whipping posts & suspension apparatus. he shows me into a room that is cool & dim with huge silken pillows all over, a huge canopied bed with scarves everywhere. next to the huge stone fireplace is a large comfortable chair & footrest, with a small table & lamp. at the foot of the chair, on the left, is a large ring bolted to a plate in the floor. the ring had on it a length of fine chain and a lock on the

"I think W/we need to stay in here."

as i look around picturing myself seated on my knees, buttocks just slightly resting on heels,my back straight, my breasts thrust out,hair flowing down my back my head high, eyes down. Seren is standing in front of me,when a heavy silver chain collar is brought forward. He latches it around my neck, then attaches it to the ring on the floor. i can get to the kitchen area bed bathroom, but not the doors.
"so I think the first thing I need to do for you is give you an idea of where you fit in this room. first you will draw me a bath, then while it is filling, you may remove my shoes &
rub my feet. then while i bathe, you will go to the other room & make yourself beautiful for me. there ar hair products, makeup, costumes. show me who you are here. "

wow!! this is turning out to be better than i thought!!! started this intending to tell the
story of the conversation, & it turned into a fantasy!!! this is a really good one too!! who knows. maybe it will be one that is made real....

gotta go for now. kitty is hissing & spitting & growling at all this. i gotta get off here & take care of her before i CUM ALL OVER THE COMPUTER CHAIR. don't want to short circuit anything with the splatter.

so tell me, if this was you, what kind of woman would you want coming out of the room? be descriptive.

would you want a slave girl dressed in silks & wild unbound hair?
would you want her submissive or feisty & refusing to give in.

would you want a sophisticated business type thats just getting away for the weekend to get laid while her
husband is gone. who happens to like it rough in the ass?
the cheerleader thing,
Xena, or
how about the celebrity of your choice dressed & in the scenario of your choosing.....

best description posted here gets the rest of the story written their way. any takers ?
1 comment
my weekend!!!! got a trophy!!
Posted:Apr 26, 2009 8:42 pm
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2010 7:41 pm

well quite a bit has happened since i was here last.

for starters, i went to my first martial arts tournament as a competitor! i didn't do so great in forms, but ive only been going for 2 months & the other white belts i was up against had been doing this for 6 months or more. so i came in 6th. then, after forms & what they call 3 step sparring -no contact- every female competitor over the age of 25 that wasn't a brown belt or higher or a judge LEFT!!! the full contact sparring got going, & by the time the very youngest group was done, there was nobody left in my demographic to fight!! i was so pissed! so my Sensei says that since they don't have anybody for me to fight i win the division trophy by default. i think it pleased Him that i said they could keep it for something else, and that i didn't want a trophy i didn't earn. so He went to another instructor & found somebody that would fight me. i was so thrilled that He would go to that effort for me. the girl i was to fight was about 20, exotically beautiful, & happened to be the one that took first in forms. i knew when she walked up & got another look at me she thought she would make short work of me.
she scored on me 3 times pretty quickly, but by then i had a good idea of how she fights. then i got her in the nose & pissed her off. she almost had me at 4-3 but left herself open & i got a kick to her head & won. the look on Sensei's face was worth all the sweat & sore muscles up to now. He was one of the judges on the fight & He scored fairly, would not have ever given me something i didn't deserve, & was proud of me!!! we have had a conversation or 2 since then, but its late im tired, & want to go think up the scenario for my next "Sensei Story."

any suggestions?

there are some other big things happening right now too. just cant do the whole in depth thing right now. but just a nibble...
i met someone in the real world recently & had a conversation about BDSM. this was a first for me. so im a little excited. more later... NIGHT!!
love my old workboots!!
Posted:Apr 23, 2009 8:30 pm
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2011 11:46 am

well many a Florida morning in my 20's i pulled on a pair of cutoffs, & and oversize sweatpants, sports bra tshirt & jacket & headed to work with my pouches & watercooler.(we did everything from footers to roofs & everything in between) the guys i worked with were somewhat envied. i was 5'7 about 130 lbs, &solid muscle- but with just enough woman over it to make me sexy as hell. the layers of clothes were so that i coult peel off a layer as it got hotter(for those of you that have never done that kind of stuff) by noon i was down to the pouches, cutoffs, ballcap & sports bra.
all my tools had a large space on the handle, case, cord, or something that had been spray painted in "Pussy Pink" so everybody in construction in the area knew it if they saw somebody else carrying something of mine.

so yes Macke i understand wearing a tool belt with pride. i was the only girl i knew that had tools, or any idea what to do with them.

and mr hands, i have some rough hands; i had a conversation with a male chauvinist recently about working hands. he scoffed & basically said i probably had baby hands compared to his- he was wrong. even now that I'm not in construction any more- the damage was done.

actually, smartass, i did enjoy staining the table, rubbing that dampness back & forth, did have a sensual feel, stroking something i am going to take pride in,

dunno...a friend once gave me a definition of "intelligence"..... "the ability to IDENTIFY and solve problems."not saying I'm a genius, but i can be pretty handy even if i don't know what I'm doing. &btw read a bunch on your blog. i'll be back.

Seren.... if You were to tie me to the table, i would like to respectfully request that You do it in a japanese style?
1 comment
Posted:Apr 18, 2009 4:42 pm
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2010 7:06 pm

just spent the day sanding a table to put in my kitchen. doesn't that sound sexy?? you tell me...

i was wearing snug Capri's- i have always felt that my calves were one of my better features; toned but not muscular, so i love to show them off...

my pink & black betty boop flip flops,

a pink "molly brown's" (daytona titty bar) t-shirt with the sleeves & neck cut out- (got a tank top's worth of tan)...

white Broncos hat, silver hoop earrings & cheap sunglasses.

so i guess i was kinda cute in a way. but what I'm more proud of, is that i can stand out in my yard, use power tools & know what I'm doing. most of the day i was using a palm sander- other than the time i spent working on it. it was giving me trouble when we started & quit after a few minutes. the switch was bad, so i opened it up & took it out & straight wired it. gotta plug & unplug but it works.
the table isn't finished though. i told the they could help me, so i had them help get the legs, braces & benches done, & I'm going to do the top myself. i can get the part that will be staring me in the face everyday done with as few blemishes as possible, and the ones on the rest will give it character. they will each be able to look at it for years to come & say

"i did that part"

i did a lot of sanding along the edges & corners. they are pretty well rounded & after going through 4 sheets of coarse grit & 3 of fine... there better NOT be any splinters for grand baby fingers!! its gonna make a great place for her to climb...

so lets see.
so far this project has
made me feel sexy,
made me feel strong & capable,
made my feel a sense of permanence,
made a safe place for my grand baby.

not bad for an $89.00 picnic table from Lowe's

i started this blog intending to go an entirely different direction. so tell me -
does anybody here think its sexy when a woman can use power tools?

i wonder how long do you think it would take you to have me tied to it??

To link to this blog (rm_chanda69) use [blog rm_chanda69] in your messages.

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