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phoenix71rebirth 51F
184 posts
3/14/2020 7:54 am

My first experience of someone taking their own life and with the rest of us wondering what the hell happen here I was 17.

We'd all been the the school hall celebrating some school event or other, I remember turning around and seeing her there. After school we went off a friends house for lunch and all giggling and laughing came an abrupt halt when the phone call came saying she'd been found dead after she jumped off the th floor. An all As all rounder student gone in a blin

After that my have been speckled with untimely deaths of friends my age, senior and juniors from school.

Accidents, illnesses and yes suicides.

Several were closet LGBT found out and tormented and eventually ending their lives seemed the only escape from their pain. Most were either overdoses or they jumped to their deaths.

Today I found out a boy in Vermont, I used to karaoke online with, who had an alcohol problem and clinically depressed had shot himself and was found by his childhood friend. This friend reached out to me today, coz he knew I cared for the deceased as if he were my . When we talked he seemed to calm down and function and take his meds and then all of a sudden he fell off the grid and I tried to message or call but he'd make excuses.

Last November, whatever his demons were, he put a bullet through himself.
That's a first a<b> death </font></b>by gunshot, one I never expected to have happen to a someone I cared about - but it did and it happened in the US.

I'm 49 this year, and I have to tell you<b> death </font></b>still guts me especially unexpected deaths when someone takes their own life. And the feeling I have is this sense of failure that I was not able to be there for them in their darkest hours.

Sometimes I grow silent because I know constantly checking up on some people agitates them so you hope the countless times you've reminded them that you're just a call or ping away will make them use that and reach out, but often they don't and then I have to attend another untimely funeral and ask that whatever their demons are now no longer holding them hostage - they are finally free to be happy on the other side.

Take the time I tell myself and to you.
Make the time to reach out to people you care.
Tomorrow is illusive
We have only today now and here.

Rest in peace my from another mother Jer, I hope you're strumming your guitar and singing your songs.

I will miss you

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