2 women meet in heaven............................
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Posted:Mar 9, 2006 8:05 pm
Last Updated:Sep 3, 2007 12:32 am
6627 Views
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1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?
1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there some-where that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive!
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2
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The Dirty Dictionary
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Posted:Mar 9, 2006 7:59 pm
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2006 7:05 pm
6482 Views
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Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. (~P~)
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (this one got extra credit).
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
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Useless Facts
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Posted:Mar 9, 2006 7:48 pm
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2006 8:52 pm
6511 Views
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Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorised all 158 verses.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The average secretary's left hand does 56% of the typing.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag.
All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are members of the peach family.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "- dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula". And can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A."
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.
When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life".
A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.
It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Paul Reiser himself.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N and O-Z, hence "Oz."
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
Typewriter is the only ten letter word you can type on the top of your keyboard.
Thank's for stopping by.~P~
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"assicons"?
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Posted:Mar 6, 2006 9:08 pm
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2006 7:01 pm
6754 Views
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Need to describe your ass or someone else's over the Internet but want it to be visual? Well, how about some "assicons"? Here goes:
(_!_) A regular ass
(__!__) A fat ass
(__)(__) A "wide load" ass
(!) A tight ass
(_*_) A sore ass
{_!_} A swishy ass
(_o_) An ass that's been around
(_x_) Kiss my ass
(_X_) Leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) A tired ass
(_E=mc2_) A smart ass
(_?_) Dumb ass
(_Lame_) Lame ass
(_jack_) Jackass
(_-$_) Cheap ass
(_0_) A Prison ass
(_) Half ass
(®^®) Registered ass
(__|___) Lop sided ass
(_:_) 2 holed ass
(_O_) Cavernous ass (an ass that's REALLY been around)
(Mom)(__) Tattooed ass
(_)||(_) Fucked ass
()() Ass print on a window
( * * ) Ass with dimples
(_X X_) A kicked ass
(_%_) An average ass
(_$_) A rich ass
[_!_] A hard ass
~P~
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4
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It's Good 2-B-Back.................
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Posted:Mar 6, 2006 12:10 am
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2006 10:45 pm
6531 Views
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It's Good 2-B-Back.....Thank's to those of you who respond to my post's and leave great responses.You are the one's that trually keep me Cummmin' Back!I have missed Blog-Ville and the many beautiful minds,faces and bodies that dwell in this place of Lust and pASSion.I have been on a wild ride as of late and all is good.For those who really dont know to much about me,I have been busting my aSS getting my HotRod ready for a show in Vegas in April.I will get back to posting and responding to the many great Ladies and friends here of this great site very soon.Thanks again for seeing that sex and laughter go Hand N' Hand...No pun intended,LOL...Enjoy the X-Ray...Take Care, See ya soon!
~P~
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4
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How to satisfy a woman................................................
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Posted:Feb 25, 2006 7:12 am
Last Updated:Mar 6, 2006 6:24 pm
7277 Views
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Lick, paw, ogle, caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, dig, floralize, feed, laminate, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffy lube, stroke, console, bark, purr, hug, baste, marinate, coddle, excite, pacify, tattoo, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, tunnel, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, ululate, trust, dip, twirl, dive, grovel, ignore, defend, milk, coax, clothe, straddle, melt, brag, acquiesce, aromate, prevail, super collide, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, reddi-whip, embrace, delouse, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, mosh, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, hold her hair while she's puking in the toilet, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, do a nickel in Attica for, dream of, promise, exceed, deliver, tease, flirt, enlist, torch, pine, wheedle, cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, hezbollah, jihad, elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her to Funkytown, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue- coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again.
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9
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The Largest Sex Organ...
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Posted:Feb 20, 2006 10:12 pm
Last Updated:Sep 3, 2007 12:30 am
6675 Views
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..is the mind.stroke yours to an explosive orgasmic climax.
~P~
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5
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TOP TEN THINGS WOMEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP AND HAD A PENIS FOR A DAY...
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Posted:Feb 20, 2006 8:42 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
6630 Views
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TOP TEN THINGS WOMEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP AND HAD A PENIS FOR A DAY...
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9......
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5
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TOP TEN THINGS MEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP WITH A VAGINA FOR A DAY...
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Posted:Feb 20, 2006 8:35 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 11:14 pm
6778 Views
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10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
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3
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MAN SEEKS A WOMAN WHO WILL TELL HIM EVERY DETAIL OF HER WILDEST PASSIONS
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Posted:Feb 18, 2006 12:14 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
6115 Views
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I’ve always enjoyed hearing women talk about their fantasies, and many of my own fantasies revolve around women sharing their innermost private thoughts with me. My current favorite fantasy goes something like this:
She shows up dressed in a white satin button-down top and a floral-print miniskirt, her hair colored an iridescent reddish-brown with a touch of plum. This brings out her sea-colored eyes, and accentuates her high cheekbones and full lips. My eyes begin to wander down the length of her body, from her elegant neckline, to her perky breasts, down to her taut stomach and full hips. Just as my eyes fall on her painted-pink toenails, poking through the tips of her leather sandals, I hurriedly look up to meet her eyes.
As she speaks, Cora absently raises one hand from her lap and begins to unbutton her shirt. Her story continues.
"At first he’s gentle with me. He takes off my shirt and unclasps my bra, fondling my breasts. He tugs at my earlobe with his teeth and runs his tongue along the inside of my ear. Then his hands grasp my face roughly and he starts to trace his finger along my lips."
Cora stops talking and caresses her lips with her index finger, sucking it into her mouth. I reach down and begin to stroke my throbbing cock through my pants. I watch Cora as she speaks. She is now topless, lying on the couch like some sort of goddess. One hand is caressing her protruding nipples, while the other is journeying down her body, tracing circles around her navel and then hiking up her skirt. She is wearing dark purple panties, and she caresses herself through the thin material, making little moans of pleasure. She raises her ass of the couch and tugs off her skirt, tossing it aside. Then she speaks again, saying, "And then he goes down on me, sucking my clitoris with his strong mouth and twirling his tongue all around me."
All is silent except for her gasping and the wet sounds of her fingers plunging repeatedly into her pussy. I can’t stop myself from kneeling before her and taking a luscious breast into my mouth while ripping the hindering purple silk away from her pussy. I suck and then bite down on her nipple, my hands frantically exploring her wet cunt. I move my mouth down her chest and stomach, finally stopping at her sweet pussy. Then I take her clitoris into my mouth and begin to suck while my fingers move toward her asshole. I penetrate her rear hole with my pinkie, and Cora moans in appreciation.
"He wants to enter me," Cora says huskily. "He wants to feel my pussy tighten around his cock. So he takes me from behind and shoves himself deep into me."
I take my cue and flip her around. Her ass is so beautiful, and I massage her cheeks for a bit before unbuttoning my pants. I place my cock at her pussy entrance, basking in the pure pleasure of her wet cunt on my cockhead. Then, with all my built-up tension behind me, I shove myself into her, feeling only the soft walls of her pussy enveloping my cock. I begin to pump, gently at first and then with more force. I feel my orgasm welling, but then Cora speaks again. She says, "I’m close to orgasm when he suddenly pulls himself out of me to have his cock sucked."
It is hard to pull out of her heavenly pussy, but I manage to do so. Cora gets on her knees and takes my cock into her mouth, fondling my balls with one hand. I lace my fingers through her hair and apply a slight pressure, forcing her to take in more of my cock. Before long I begin to shudder, and I know my time is close. Cora gives me one more hard suck, then she suddenly stands up. Bending over my chair she says enthusiastically, "Then I beg him to put his huge, throbbing cock up my ass. I tell him I desperately need a real cock—his cock. He fucks me real good while rubbing my clitoris, and I come harder than ever before."
She wants to be fucked in the ass. This gorgeous woman is eager to feel her fantasy lover’s pulsating erection stretching her small rear hole, burrowing deep into her perfect behind. The picture she has painted for me has stiffened my cock to the point where it’s ready to burst, or so it feels. I stand for a moment as if glued to the spot, staring at Cora’s ready-to-be-reamed bottom, envisioning my throbbing member plunging inside the warm, dark confines of her rear passage. And I simply can’t wait any longer.
I stand behind Cora and work my shaft into her tight asshole, her muscles relaxing as I slide further and further in. I begin to thrust gently, rolling her wet clitoris between my fingers. She starts to moan loudly and buck against me, so I bite down on her neck and fuck her harder and faster. She begins to howl in orgasm, her body quaking beneath me, and that sets off my orgasm. I come explosively, shooting streams of come into her tight ass.
I’m hoping that one day I can really get Cora to share her fantasies with me. But until that day arrives, this fantasy keeps me all fired up on many a night.
~P~
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2
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"Blind Seduction"
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Posted:Feb 18, 2006 11:07 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
6069 Views
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Required Materials:
A blindfold or a piece of soft material that can be used as a blindfold
A collection of things to touch your lover with, such as feathers, silk, leather... or your tongue!
How To Play
First, decide on a prize, and then draw straws or roll dice to figure out who will be blindfolded and who will be the Tantalizer. Then place the blindfold on the person whose eyes will be covered and get ready for some fun! The Tantalizer can then do one of two things:
Have the blindfolded person feel ten objects and try to guess what they are. Of course, this is more fun if some of the items they have to identify are the Tantalizer's body parts and other items are shaped like the Tantalizer's body parts!
Touch the blindfolded person with ten different objects or materials and see how many they can guess correctly. Use both soft and hard materials to create a variety of arousing sensations as well as using your own skin or tongue for at least one of the ten.
Winning is based on criteria you set at the beginning. You decide how many items the blindfolded person needs to guess correctly to win. If they get that number correct, then they get the sexual prize they requested. If they get less than that number correct, the Tantalizer gets what they requested. But don't you both win, really?
~P~
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0
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Good Girl's
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Posted:Feb 16, 2006 1:01 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 11:12 pm
6257 Views
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Even Good Girl's Need Spanking's.....Or Do They?
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3
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To link to this blog (pASSionwantd2) use [blog pASSionwantd2] in your messages.
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