Changes
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Posted:Mar 26, 2016 8:17 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2016 6:23 am
6906 Views
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Lots of changes have taken place in my home and swinging life. My friend and lover Dennis and I are no longer a couple. However my wonderful husband is willing to accompany me in my journey in the lifestyle.
The horrible nerves that I have struggled with in the last couple years were gone when he accompanied to a private house party last weekend, which for me is a sign that the changes that have taken place are for the best. My wonderful husband Brian has shown me that we can over come any thing life hands us.
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Mean People Suck
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Posted:Feb 10, 2016 10:22 pm
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2016 2:10 am
8103 Views
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After having been active in the lifestyle about a year and a half, we (my wonderful partner, best friend, love of my life, and I ) have had some really good experiences and some that were not quite so good. Shortly after I dipped my toes into the lifestyle for the first time since I joined this site, a friend in the lifestyle had a life changing experience. From the showing of support she received from so many of her friends in the lifestyle, I thought that was how all individuals in the lifestyle treated each other, which was one of the things that really attracted me to the lifestyle and made me want to jump further into it.
A couple years ago I heard tells of how the groups in the area got together and had great parties and I very much wanted to be a part of that. However, I have no desire to attend parties where individuals are uncomfortable because they are expected to participate or even watch something they are not comfortable with. Dennis and I have hosted some very fun parties where no one was pressured to do anything they weren't comfortable with but play areas were available. These type of parties we thought were the kind individuals wanted.
However at the Halloween party it was brought to my attention, as I wandered through the house, that a couple individuals didn't think the party was going the way they wanted because there wasn't enough sexual activity or nudity for their tastes. I had to remind myself that not everyone is in the same place I am in the lifestyle, so this was something that was normal and natural to them. However my feelers were hurt. No one else in a full year of parties had insinuated that we hosted lousy parties.
After processing things in my head that night and the next morning, I asked the guest that had crashed at the house if we really we really had hosted a lousy party that people didn't enjoy. I was once again reminded that the individuals with the negative comments hadn't been to any of our previous house parties and they were definitely at a different place in their experiences in the lifestyle. They are used to being the object of everyone's attention and the level of attention they were accustomed to was not there for them.
In the last few months, I personally have had a rude awakening and have realized that not everyone has the same human kindness in their heart. I didn't realize that we were divided by which groups we are members of, instead of basic human caring and compassion. Recently we learned that another of our lifestyle friends is having a life changing experience and the same individuals that talked about how much of a dud our parties were, seem to refuse to use their group and its members as a means to gather support for a fellow lifestyle member. I am ashamed because I assumed everyone has a kind caring empathetic heart that wants to be a support to one another, even if they may not necessarily be a part of a certain group.
I am sure that there are still those out there like the majority of the people I have encountered in my journey in the lifestyle. I am learning fast that there are also individuals in the lifestyle that appear to be in the lifestyle to stroke their ego. Since they won't lift a finger to help a friend, I for one won't jump to their defense to assist those kinds of people when things go south.
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Halloween Party
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Posted:Oct 8, 2015 10:34 am
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2015 4:27 pm
8198 Views
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I am getting excited to attend our Halloween party this year. I am hoping for a better experience, last year was my first group party and I was so overwhelmed and self-conscious I hid upstairs in our bedroom. I am feeling much more prepared except this years party is looking like it will be one of the biggest events i will have attended and I am starting to feel overwhelmed. I am hoping to have individuals there that I have known long before I dipped my feet into the life style and others that have seem me run away from an after party.
I really want this party to be a positive experience instead of like other house parties where individuals from my past made me feel like I should be ashamed to want to experience what this lifestyle has to offer. I am looking forward to possibly getting to play with individuals that I have wanted to see where things would go, but in the past it is these very feelings that keep me from being assertive enough to express my wants and desires. I am trying to challenge myself to step outside my comfort zone so that Dennis and I can have a positive experience instead of feeling like I am holding him back from experience all the things he wants.
I am not sure if anyone will even read what i am posting but I hope that someone has a few words of encouragement as I am feeling like I really need some one in my corner encouraging me to go into this party with the right mind frame.
One of the groups I am part of the individuals have posted about how women should ask first and I struggle with this because in the past I have experiences with others in a group setting and it appeared that things fizzled when individuals were supposed to trade for me. The perception I took away from that was that others don't want to play with me, which is expected but when it happens in more situations than it didn't, I feel self-conscious with those individuals now and will avoid putting them in situations where they may feel like they are expected to play with me and I will not ever put someone in a situation to feel compelled to play with me. So me being the aggressor is probably not going to happen.
I don't want other to feel like I am pushing them into any kind of physical interaction. So I need to figure out how to find a happy medium, any suggestions would help.
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Manipulation
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Posted:Apr 6, 2015 4:52 pm
Last Updated:Oct 8, 2015 10:34 am
9292 Views
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I want to rant for a few minutes. I need to get some things off my chest so to speak. I am not the kind of girl to just drop her panties without feeling comfortable. Feeling like I have to drop them to keep people around that I thought I was developing a friendship with. Then I guess I really didn't need to have the experience of playing with them. I think there needs to be a little education that the high pressure manipulation I have experienced on this sight doesn't get the intended results.
It however causes those of us that may have had a highly manipulative past to put up walls and run the other direction. I now have an amazing partner that would never allow others to take advantage of me. I am a strong independent gal that will buck when feeling like she is being manipulated. So guys please remember patience and respect will get you wild experiences, not high pressure manipulation tactics.
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4
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Etiquette
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Posted:Jan 31, 2015 8:43 am
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2015 2:05 pm
10016 Views
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With the upcoming Naughty gras I am curious about proper etiquette. I have learned that the best way for me to get feedback about what I need to know to get the most enjoyment out of the lifestyle is to just put myself out there and ask. So here goes!
I have never been to this kind of an event, I have been know to be the social butterfly or the self conscious insecure gal. My partner idahonuke2 dresses me very well, but it can be to provocative for the situation I have learned from past meet and greets. I guess what I am asking is this
What is appropriate attire for an event like this?
What is appropriate behavior at the after party?
I do not want to offend anyone by dressing in a corset and skirt, but I do want to feel sexy and attractive. I would like to be prepared to not embarrass myself at the after party by knowing what acceptable limits are and what aren't. To this point my group experience have been limited to our house parties where I know what is acceptable in what areas of the house and what aren't. I do not have that knowledge and I really want to have the most fun without offending anyone else.
So please I would love to have so input for my own information...
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standoffish or insecure
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Posted:Dec 20, 2014 6:59 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2015 7:49 am
10820 Views
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Not sure if anyone will read this blog, but here goes. I have participated in the lifestyle for several years but only on a one to one basis, until the last couple years. Now I find myself wanting to participate in more of a group setting. Having attended two great parties at my play partners house where there was lots of fun and play by others.
The night of the first party my insecurities overwhelmed me and I spent most of the night hiding in the bedroom I was sharing with my partner. It has been brought to my attention that I was behaving very standoffish. I am sorry that is how i was perceived, My past experiences with this life style have not always been positive. Being a BIG girl , I don't want to assume that others want to visit with me let alone possibly consider me as a play companion for even a few moments. I observed others that knew each other and appeared to be comfortable with each other. I totally was not ready for the influx of emotions I experienced and it was mostly my own insecurities.
I would like to know if anyone else has had a similar experience. How can I convey to the members of the group that I am not being standoffish or thinking I am better than anyone else In reality it is the exact opposite. I don't think I am sexy, thin, beautiful or attractive. This totally befuddles me as I am so self assured in other areas of my life like my professional life. I would really appreciate any feed back I could get.
The second party I should have eaten and not had so many drinks. For that night I am sure I owe several apologizes. I hope that those I offended with my drunken behavior will understand that insecurities were at there highest and they can really mess with how one act and reacts with others. I would not want my standoffish behaviors to keep me from enjoying the lifestyle the way I want too. I want to experience everything there is with my partner Idahonuke2 at my side.
I would really appreciate any feed back, I don't want my insecurities to keep Idahonuke2 from experiencing the fun that i am sure this life style has to offer because I can't figure out how to get past my stuff. I would like to know If I am the only one to have ever felt this way or if others have had concerns of similar nature.
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7
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