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Dirty Little Secrets
"It's not enough to conquer; One must know how to seduce"
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Tell Me a Secret..
Posted:Jun 18, 2014 7:26 pm
Last Updated:Sep 3, 2019 8:28 am

I decided to succumb to the pressure of adding a private "for my eyes" only section in my blog. This is where you can talk to me anonymously. So, feel free to tell me a dirty little secret. I might even tell you one of mine. Go ahead- you know you want to. I'm waiting with bated breath...
0 Comments , 98 Pending
Snow is falling
Posted:Dec 15, 2019 7:35 am
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2020 9:03 am
And this is what my Tank thinks about it. Show of hands: How many of you are longing for summer?

The Audacity of Some People!
Posted:Jun 29, 2018 5:54 pm
Last Updated:Sep 7, 2019 5:16 pm

This afternoon after placing my groceries in my car at Walmart, I heard two Jack Russell terriers barking their heads off in an unoccupied van with the windows cracked in a stall next to mine. Temp was 105 degrees outside and the vehicle was parked in full sun. I waited five minutes before I contacted law enforcement and animal control. As a lover, I can't stand when people have no common sense. I went up to the van and surprise surprise the door was unlocked so I opened it to let air in. I stood next to the van waiting for law enforcement (or the owner) to show up.

Fifteen minutes later the owners came out berating me for "breaking into their van." When I pointed out the obvious, they replied, "they had water, (no water was visible amongst all the junk) the windows were cracked and we were only inside FIVE minutes." I informed them I had called the police, given them their tag number and they were on the way. The male half laughed and stated, "well the car belongs to a corrections officer. It was apparent HE was not the corrections officer as he looked like a meth head. Still, no police responded and they left.

What would you have done?
Call police and observe from a distance
Call police and try to help rescue the dogs
Other (leave comments below)
22 Comments , 105 votes
Ch Ch Ch..Changes
Posted:May 13, 2018 5:14 am
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2018 8:58 pm

I wanted to apologize for my extended absence from the blogging world. Life has unexpectedly kind of gotten in the way, as usual.

Depression – It has resolved somewhat, thanks to some changes that that were a long time coming.

Work – Last August I accepted a temporary eight-month assignment working for a government contractor while continuing my private practice part-time. My contract expires in two weeks and I am counting down the days. These 65-70 hour workweeks are killing me!

In January I parted ways working as a contract therapist for a group practice in order to open my own group therapy practice. Being a business owner is a new challenge that I find rather rewarding. I hired a contract therapist who is working on her clinical licensure so not only am I seeing and working two jobs, I am also providing supervision.

Home – I rarely feel motivated by the time I get home. The only time I seem to get anything done is on Sundays. This is the first Sunday that I actually have to myself and it's Mother's Day. Go Figure. My furkids, Tank, and Roxy continue to make life exciting.

Sex life: What sex life?! I think about sex often but I've been going through a dry spell for awhile. Of course, there are a few bloggers that I frequently fantasize about.

What have you been up to lately?
Therapist Heal Thyself
Posted:Nov 12, 2017 3:02 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2018 4:15 am

Depression can be crippling, and deadly.

Five million Americans suffer from depression each year. Over 50 percent of all people who die by suicide suffer from major depression. If one includes alcoholics who are depressed, this figure rises to over 75 percent. Depression affects nearly 5-8 percent of Americans ages 18 and over in a given year.

This year I became a part of that statistic. Those who know what I do for a living may be scratching their heads wondering why, Myelin, a licensed mental health therapist with years of extensive training in psychology would succumb to this illness.

Chances are you are vulnerable too.

Depression isn't always something that is immediately recognizable--"Bam! You are depressed!" For me, it was a culmination of stressors that required me to make changes I was not ready to make. One of which was giving up running, a hobby I adored and loved. My body decided to retaliate. When your body is used to getting intense endorphins produced from years of running which suddenly get turned off, it throws your dopamine and serotonin out of whack.

Add to that a peppering of other life stressors and that can spell disaster. My colleague tried to pull me out of it by roping me into going on a girls trip to Eureka Springs over the summer. I blogged mostly about the good stuff. What I didn't blog about was the combination of alcohol-fueled "socializing" and the unexpected broken toe pushed what was supposed to be a fun, relaxing vacation into the depths of darkness and despair.

Yes, despair. As in suicidal thoughts. Plans. All that goes with it. Looking back, on my prior blog post, I realize what a facade it was. Boundaries. To hell with boundaries. There are too many people on this site reading these blogs that are struggling in silence. For those of you that are, pull up a chair, I am here for you, friend.

Well, it's been months of soul searching and inevitably reaching out to my doctor and other professionals in the mental health community. With the help of medication, talk therapy and of course my furry companions Roxy and Tank, the fog is finally starting to lift.

Every time I log on this site, I wonder will this be the day that I delete my profile? Casual hooking up is no longer my thing. Blogging seems to be giving the site a reprieve. For now. I have been on a 14-month sexual hiatus and have no inclination on breaking it.

Then I think about my upcoming trip to Chicago in December and I think I just might.

With much love and affection to all.


For those of you wondering
Posted:Jul 13, 2017 5:24 pm
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2017 7:36 pm
I have been spending time with a soon-to-be new family member.

Meet Tank (on the left) Roxy (on the right)

Who would have thought that fostering to adopt Tank could be so much fun?! For those who have never considered adopting a rescue, I highly recommend it.

I've certainly got my hands full. How are you spending your summer?
Greetings from Eureka Springs!
Posted:Jun 4, 2017 5:42 am
Last Updated:Oct 18, 2017 7:57 pm
A group of girlfriends and I rented a lake house on Beaver lake near Eureka Springs, Arkansas for a long four day weekend.

For those who have not been here, it's definitely worth the trip. Unfortunately I ended up with a broken toe after the wind slammed the car door on my sandalled foot. That's perfectly fine with me. It gives me an excuse to hang back at the lake house with an adult beverage while the girls are off exploring.

Here are some photos of my trip. How's your weekend shaping up?

Stigmatizing Mental Illness
Posted:Mar 26, 2017 7:25 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2017 4:51 pm

I felt compelled to write this blog post after reading about another blogger's struggle with their mental health. And because whether we choose to believe it, we continue to live in a society that stigmatizes mental health.

Case in point. No one hears someone say, "I have a doctor’s appointment” and concludes that person must be rich or weak or crazy. It’s obviously the right thing to see a professional when our body is injured or feels “atypical.”

But if someone seeks therapy to improve their mental health, people can be far more critical.

In spite of efforts to erase the stigma surrounding mental illness, there are misinformed people that feel individuals who seek therapy must be weak. On the contrary. As a therapist, I am very open with prospective about the courage it takes to seek therapy.

This stigma lives in the darkness along with overshadowing fear, lack of awareness and basic ignorance. Its complexities need to be broken down and understood so we can rewire our thoughts on mental health and therapy.

In an attempt to raise awareness on the truth about seeking therapy and quash the stigma, here are common misconceptions you should not assume about people who go to therapy:

1. People who go to therapy are weak. Going to therapy is actually a very courageous and strong thing to do. One has to be open to facing every corner of their mind and heart and be completely, unabashedly open about fears, truths and experiences in order to really get the most of what a therapist can offer. That requires strength — strength to explore your own emotional and mental limits and boundaries, strength to be guided in directions you wouldn’t go and strength to learn and actively seek a better place.

2. People who go to therapy are "crazy." “Crazy” is never an appropriate term and only increases the stigma that causes some people to never seek the help and peace they so very much deserve and/or need.

3. People who go to therapy are "wasting their money." We all spend our money on and prioritize things that are important to us. The way one might spend money on a personal trainer to help them reach or maintain a level of physical fitness, spending money on a therapist could be seen an investment in a person's health and personal development.

4. People who go to therapy do not have a healthy support network. Going to therapy can’t be confused with the idea that a therapy-goer doesn’t have solid relationships. Therapy is not a replacement for friendship, and a therapist is not a friend. Friendships are two-way streets, which can cause a very biased view of experiences and circumstances; therapy is a one-sided relationship with a professional who has the expertise to objectively guide and help a person through struggles.

5. People must be in a "bad place" to see a therapist. One does not need to be in a “bad” or “dangerous” place to see a therapist. Most likely, there’s usually a catalyst for deciding to go, but it could be a culmination of experiences or feelings. Most of my are trying to gain greater self awareness and view therapy as a way to gain insight to help with self development.

6. You should feel sad or scared for anyone who goes to therapy.
This just enables the stigma surrounding seeking help. Don’t look at or talk to people differently because they may have disclosed they are in therapy. There’s no shame in seeing a therapist and there’s nothing wrong with seeking help or guidance from a professional. If you have to feel an emotion, be proud of a person's decision to improve their mental well being.

My hope in creating this blog is that by breaking down common misconceptions of people seeking therapy, we’ll be one step closer to being a society that seeks to embrace mental health treatment without the stigma and that people can dialogue openly about their mental health.

Thanks for reading.

Losing a Loved One and Coping With Loss
Posted:Jan 14, 2017 8:07 am
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2017 4:25 am
Yesterday my cousin passed away from a courageous battle with brain cancer. Right after Thanksgiving, his oncologist gave him a bleak diagnosis, telling him to get his affairs in order because he could die at any time.

Our entire family was dumbstruck. Here was a young man who appeared to be strong and generally healthy.

He was a youthful twenty five years old. He learned about his brain tumor while attending the prestigious Air Force Academy two years ago. This was supposed to be my cousin's time to enjoy the pleasures of college, move forward into his career as an Air Force pilot, someday marry, have ; not brace for a devastatingly premature death.

Summoning every bit of optimism resident in my being, I refused to accept he would succumb to cancer.

I knew the power of a healthy diet, exercise, and other holistic modalities in extending the longevity of cancer patients. His parents did everything they could including flying him to world renowned oncologists in Houston hoping for a miracle.

They researched every type of cancer therapy under the sun.

Pursuing these things might have helped reverse his illness; or they might have done very little. What was certain is that he had resigned himself to the notion that death was upon him.

And so for the last two months my family and I were left to watch the vitality of a man we held so dear steadily drain away. Adding to the horror of the situation were the rounds of chemotherapy my cousin underwent at the recommendation of his physician, who claimed it would alleviate his suffering.

To my untrained eye, the chemotherapy succeeded only in withering my cousin's physical vessel down to an ashen shell of what it once was.

But I made sure I held it together. I had to be "strong."

I don’t believe I cried more than a few times in the months leading up to my cousin's death. I simply didn’t allow myself to feel cascade of negative emotions churning below the surface.

I had to be practical, I thought, so that I could support his parents and the rest of my family during an extremely challenging time. I had to power through it.

And steady I remained, right up until my cousin took his last breath in the hospital last evening on a frigid winter night.

The bewildering mix of grief, pain, shock, and relief in the wake of losing a loved one who has been suffering profoundly will touch everyone differently. I finally surrendered to my grief last evening. I felt able to emote and let the tears flow. What a release it was.

From an early age we are conditioned to ignore our negative emotions. This is especially the case when we endure difficult circumstances, such as family sickness and death. We choose to push away our feelings in order to “just get through it.”

The trouble is that in suppressing our emotions we’re not getting through anything, but rather forcing these emotional patterns deep into the recesses of the subconscious mind. This unexpressed pain that brews below the surface is at the root of much of our anxiety and many types of illness.

When it comes to any sort of emotional pain, it’s crucial for us to understand that negative feelings serve us. They are wonderful indicators of the truth of our being and show us what is wanted and unwanted. But we don’t have to hang on to the anger, sadness, and powerlessness forever.

We transcend our negative emotions by being present with them. Being tuned into the truth of your feelings doesn’t mean you will be a trainwreck and incapable of dealing with the real world; it actually sets you on the path of wholeness and peace.

We strive to put on a front so that the world sees us as kind, capable, and strong. This often means that we deny our emotional pain. It takes great courage to admit to our vulnerabilities and embrace our authentic feelings, but it is a required stop on the way to freedom and relief.

I challenge you to pick something in your life that you’ve been holding back from feeling and choose to express your pain in a safe and conscious way. Pull down the facades and give yourself permission to not be okay. It’s time to free yourself.

Much love to all,
Who Inspires You?
Posted:Dec 15, 2016 6:39 am
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2017 4:31 am

I saw this quote the other day and it really resonated with me:

The people we surround ourselves with will either raise or lower our standards. They either help us to become the best possible version of ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves.

We become like our friends. No man becomes great on his own. No woman becomes great on her own. The people around them help to make them great.

We all need people in our lives who help to raise our standards, remind us of our essential purpose, and challenge us to become the best version of ourselves.

For me, that person was my third grade teacher Ms. Reeves. That year, I had transferred to a new school and I was struggling to fit in socially. Ms. Reeves took me under her wing and helped me to recognize my potential. She supported me when I felt like giving up on myself. Being in third grade at a new school and struggling to fit in can be difficult but having that support was instrumental in learning how to overcome significant obstacles later in life.

Inquiring minds want to know, do you feel this statement is valid? Have there been people in your life who inspired you to become your best possible self? If so, I would love to hear about it.
Loser Email of the Day
Posted:Dec 3, 2016 10:19 am
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2018 2:48 pm

Unsolicited initial email from a 24 year old male that lives three states away:

"Hey baby want to suck my cock."

Appropriate replies?

Your thoughts appreciated.
Fair Weather Friends
Posted:Nov 29, 2016 7:32 am
Last Updated:Aug 25, 2017 8:58 pm
I’ve been popular. I’ve been not-so-much. I’ve had an insanely complicated amount of friends. I’ve had three or four truly close friends.

Sitting here, in my forties, I’ve looked back at my friendolution with wonder and awe.

There are some friends that have drifted out that I am relieved to be rid of. Doesn’t that sound harsh? But it’s true. The psychic vampire friends. The ones who were exhausting to be around in the first place. Or the ones whose expectations I could never meet.

Then there are the friends, just a couple, that I still wonder about. Still pine for. Why did our friendship have to end? Was it something I said or did? What happened that I missed?

But through my friendolution, one truth remains the same. I have no use for the fair weather friends. To be my friend you must stick with me through thick and thin. Loyalty is paramount. Kindness is crucial. Compassion is a must. Patience and understanding will take us far. I make mistakes but I own them. I’m not afraid to apologize.

The so-called friends who have dumped me because: I divorced. I wouldn’t gossip with them. I changed jobs. I got re-married. I had . I didn’t have . I created a 'friends only' blog post.

Some of you?

Good riddance.

I don’t need any fair weather friends.

To link to this blog (myelin36) use [blog myelin36] in your messages.

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Most Recent Comments by Others

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For those of you wondering (33)pat910123abc
Jun 26, 2020 8:45 pm
Snow is falling (11)08540Tantrafun
Dec 27, 2019 1:03 am
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Aug 9, 2019 4:40 pm
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The Audacity of Some People! (50)_IKanCu2_
Jul 10, 2018 10:31 pm
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Jun 19, 2018 5:43 pm
Therapist Heal Thyself (28)sweetlips_03
Mar 21, 2018 4:47 pm
Greetings from Eureka Springs! (19)topshelf69x2
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