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Dirty Little Secrets
 
"It's not enough to conquer; One must know how to seduce"
~Voltaire
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Celebrating Singles
Posted:Feb 13, 2016 12:58 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2016 7:36 pm
37409 Views


Ahhh..another year of singledom. Each year, around this time, a lot of uncoupled people look upon Valentine’s Day or Singles Awareness Day as it's been so lovingly dubbed with dread. I used to be one of them. Not long ago, I reviled Valentine's day as a painful holiday dedicated to commercialism and to couples showing affection and making us singles feel terrible. But then I realized something- Valentines Day isn’t about couples, it’s about love and love comes in many different forms.

I've spent past Singles Awareness Days hanging out with friends. My good friend Julie and I made a tradition of going out to dinner on Valentines Day. We are usually surrounded by "happy" couples dressed up for their romantic dates. We make it a point to dress casually—we are perfectly fine with it. There is never any pressure on us to make this day perfect let alone romantic; we just enjoying hanging out, drinking wine and laughing.

Last year I sent a few of my single friends funny text messages on Valentine's Day telling them how much I appreciate their friendship. This year I will probably do the same. That's the great thing about Singles Awareness Day, you get to have multiple Valentines. You don’t have to make the day about a romantic other and there is no pressure to spend money on the perfect gift. Instead, you get to spend the day showing your friends how much you care about and appreciate them.

Another thing about Valentine's Day is it makes you realize how not having a significant other in your life doesn’t mean you aren’t loved. And it doesn’t mean you are alone. In fact, tomorrow I will be celebrating friendship including those of you who are reading this blog.

Happy Singles Awareness Day. Stay sexy my single friends!
9 Comments
Are You a Passive Blogger?
Posted:Feb 5, 2016 12:32 pm
Last Updated:Feb 16, 2016 11:56 am
39809 Views

I have many lurkers who view my blog but never comment. Even though I keep my watched blog list to a minimum, I am nosy so I will often surf around and check out my blog viewers profiles and their blogs to get a feel for who might be on the other end reading.

Being nosy has cemented some amazing friendships.

On the other hand it has brought to light that there are quite a few 'passive' bloggers. By passive, I'm referring to lurkers who watch or view blogs but seldom initiate a blog post or comment. But they can be counted on to perv a new blog post.

Obviously if you are viewing my blog, it isn't because I post a lot of sexy pictures. So, I'm directing this question to all the PASSIVE bloggers- Curious minds want to know: What keeps you returning to the blogs that you view?
30 Comments   (Page:)
Sixteenth Virtual Symposium "Friends With Benefits"
Posted:Jan 31, 2016 6:45 am
Last Updated:Jul 7, 2016 5:04 pm
47128 Views

This blog entry is part of the sixteenth virtual symposium: Friends With Benefits

She keeps him near
Not for love
Or so she thinks

He gives her reason
To aspire
To conquer
To smile

How foolish she was
How arrogant to think
That she could play one
over on love

Hiding it under the guise
of 'benefits'
masking it simply as
'friendship'


Please visit Participants List For The Sixteenth Virtual Symposium Friends With Benefits and read the other wonderful submissions to the Sixteenth Virtual Symposium: Friends With Benefits
16 Comments
Vengeance
Posted:Jan 29, 2016 3:23 pm
Last Updated:Feb 5, 2016 12:17 pm
38875 Views
Has anyone ever made you so mad that you felt a profound level of anger building within you? (Cue fight music) This week could go down as the first time in the history of my career that I've actually felt a strong urge to act on my anger. Yes, it's another fucking venting blog so get over it.

One of the perils to my job is occasionally crossing paths with divorced parents who have extreme animosity toward each other. (As in if they could get away with it, they'd hire a hit man) Some of them are master manipulators. For them it's about winning at all cost. Unfortunately, it's the who are the collateral damage.

When working with high conflict custody situations, I am frequently called upon as an expert witness by attorneys and other court advocates to write letters to the court and make mandated reports based on things that get revealed. My recommendations have always been diligent, fair, and based upon well-established facts that support my findings.

Recently, one such master manipulator crossed my path. No word was mentioned by this person being so upset by my recommendations that the person filed a complaint against my license. Instead the person sat smugly in my office and agreed to start family counseling. WITH ME. A week later, I received a formal complaint. Never in my career have I ever experienced this type of master manipulation. Or had to defend my professional recommendations.

It fucking sucks. It's a huge legal pain in the ass which is exactly what this person was aiming for.

Instead of acting on my urge to knock someone out, I've been taking out my vengeance ultra hard on the elliptical and the treadmill.

This week's mileage grand total 65.1 miles. Fuck, I really need to get laid. Wine, where are you?

HAve you ever experienced a professional setback? How do you manage and cope?
9 Comments
I Took a Snow Day
Posted:Jan 21, 2016 9:10 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2016 6:59 am
41692 Views
It started snowing here yesterday and has not stopped. Yes, I am a bit of a wuss when it comes to driving in the snow. It wouldn't be a huge deal if Kansas knew how to clear their highways and my city knew how to clear the streets but they don't.

When I woke there was about a 3" accumulation with more snow expected throughout the day. After checking my schedule, I was amazed to see that every single one of my would have to travel in the stuff from out of town to see me today.

So in the interest of the safety of myself and my (my too) we both decided to stay home.

Wouldn't you know it, instead of seeing it as a good thing, a couple of my were upset. It goes without saying, "you can't please everyone".

And to think- I have to make a 90 mile drive in the stuff tomorrow morning to attend the second half of my EMDR training. I wont worry about it--yet. In the meantime, I have chili simmering in the crockpot, a pan of cornbread in the oven and my warm fleece on. Here's to staying warm!

Here is the view from my back door:

11 Comments
Why I Like Fucking Younger Men
Posted:Jan 20, 2016 5:08 pm
Last Updated:Feb 16, 2016 5:46 am
43323 Views

Confession: if given the choice between fucking a man 10 years my senior or 10 years my junior, I will most always pick the younger guy.

I realize more than a few watchers are probably scratching their head thinking, "why in the hell would you want to have sex with a younger guy when you could be with an older man with more experience?"

Truth be told, my last monogamous relationship with "H" (that I blogged about toward the end of 2014) was the game-changer for me. See, H was 50 when I started seeing him when I was 43. Even with the 7 year age difference, there were huge sexual disparities between us.

When men reach a certain age, inevitably age begins to take its toll: men frequently let themselves go and often become inactive and boring; they become sexually complacent and often lose their vitality, stamina, and lasting power.

Of course the same can be said about women as they age too, so I am not begrudging older men. I realize that there are some exceptions.

Case in point: there is one blogger that I have not met but feel a strong sexual connection to that undermines my "so-called" age parameters and I am more than fine with that.

I think having an intellectual connection as well as a sexual connection trumps any prerequisites that one might have.

To the blogger that has ignited that fire once again, I say thank you. You know who you are.

{=}
myelin
25 Comments
Update To Flakes and No Shows
Posted:Jan 18, 2016 7:41 am
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2016 6:50 pm
40951 Views
Disclaimer: I recommend you read my previous blog post before starting this one if you haven't yet.

I received a text message from Mr. Flake early this morning at 12:13 AM. Here is the text conversation in its entirety:

Flake: "Hey. I hit a deer. Car is messed up. I will have to drive my jeep to see you. What are you doing in the morning babe?" (Mind you it has been 16 hours since I last heard a word from him)

Me: "I'm amazed that you are just now getting back to me. Sorry for your luck but I am not interested in meeting."

Flake: "Hun I hit a deer and it bashed the front part of my Mercedes in. I'm sorry. I didn't have cell service where I was. I'm sorry I truly am."

He then sends me this photo of his car.

(Do you see any damage? I sure as hell don't.)

Me: "I really am not interested. Please do not contact me further."

Flake: "I hit a deer."

I stopped replying to him after that.

Question, based on this interaction what would you conclude? Do you believe his story is plausible? I can't wrap my head around waiting 16 hours for him to return text me knowing that he knew I was waiting on him to arrive. And his car? Does it look damaged to you? I just don't see it.

So, was I being a bitch? Would you give this flake the benefit or would you tell him to kick rocks?
23 Comments
Outing Flakes And No Shows
Posted:Jan 17, 2016 10:51 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2016 3:43 pm
40974 Views

I have been on this site almost 10 years. When I set up a meeting I always show. I was raised to do what you say you're going to do and mean what you say. if something prevents me from showing up to a pre-arranged meeting, I let the person know. It's important. It builds trust. It defines your character.

Over the years I've met my share of flakes and no-shows. I try to think having been on the site and experienced this on more than one occasion, that I've gotten relatively good at weeding out the flakes. This morning proved me wrong.

I received a text message from a guy I met on this site about two weeks ago. He has been pestering me for the last week to meet up with him. This morning was no different. I've been putting him off because he lives a couple hours north in Nebraska. He knows the distance but insists it's no obstacle for him to travel to me. He knows I'm tired from my activities last night. He wants to bring me breakfast.

So, I say, "Fuck it. Come down." He texts back almost immediately saying, "I'm on my way and what do you want me to bring you for breakfast?" I assume he's being honest. I jump in the shower and make myself presentable.

Hours go by. No word. Nothing. Nada. Not even after I text to ask if he changed his mind. See, I believe in giving people an out. I texted back after waiting another hour informing him he just made my block list and chastising him for being a flake.

So the obvious question is, do you believe in outing people on your blog for flaking out? Is is poor social etiquette or do you consider it a public service announcement to warn other members so they don't waste their time dealing with these flakes?
13 Comments
My First MFM Experience
Posted:Jan 17, 2016 7:02 am
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2016 4:56 pm
38910 Views
I have wanted to participate in a MFM for a long time. It's been on my "hypothetical" sexual bucket list. Off and on over the years a few rare opportunities surfaced but I always declined them. I battled with myself about it: "I won't be able to satisfy two men" or "what if this gets out, living in a small, conservative town, it would destroy my professional reputation. "

Over the last few months I've been viewing other women's amateur MFM porn videos and finding myself really getting turned on thinking about fucking two men while lamenting about various opportunities I'd declined over the years. Not only that but I have also really taken an interest in being filmed while having sex.

Last weekend I came across an ad on CL indicating that two men were soliciting out women interested in having a "double hung party"

I responded purely out of curiosity. I met J, a 31 year old federal employee and his friend T, a 23 year old welder who are heterosexual roommates.

Apparently they have done this several times and enjoy it. After establishing that they were not weirdos we exchanged photos of ourselves. We also spent last week discussing sexual preferences which is essential if you are going to have an experience like this. It helped cement my decision that they both lived an hour away.

Last night arrived and we met at a local informal bar and grill. It was then that I realized I really wanted this to happen. Because I get very loud, I worried about getting kicked out of a hotel room. Probably against my better judgment, I invited them back to my place.

I spent the next four hours getting fucked every which way imaginable with both guys taking turns videotaping the action. The major regret I had was neither liked performing oral sex and they would not double penetrate me because they weren't comfortable getting their cocks close to each other.

In the end, I managed to check three things off my sexual bucket list: sex with two men in one session, making an amateur porn video, and having sex with someone a few years younger than my . (No, not weird at all.)

I would definitely do it again but only if I had two very confident men that weren't squeamish about both of their cocks being inside me. Which reminds me, I think we ended up going through two boxes of condoms last night.

I'm going to try and figure out how to upload one of my videos to a personal album for my friends viewing enjoyment.

Curious minds want to know, have you ever experienced a threesome and if so what was your experience like? Is it something that you would do if the right situation presented itself?
10 Comments
Art and Wine
Posted:Jan 16, 2016 8:22 am
Last Updated:Feb 4, 2016 7:07 pm
36215 Views
As a Christmas present, I gave my very creative and artsy work colleague a gift certificate for an art studio wine and painting session. Last night we got our art (and our drunk) on.

Here are the finished pieces. Can you guess which one is mine? (Answer is in comment section! )

13 Comments
I told a Lie
Posted:Jan 14, 2016 6:35 am
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2016 3:13 am
39026 Views

It was a white lie to a person I had a brief interaction with while getting my coffee yesterday morning. "How are you?" she asked. "Good" I half smiled. But I wasn't "good." I am just good at disguising things.

There is darkness in truth. Especially now, when so many of our connections happen only five minutes at a time; fully filtered and perfectly hash tagged. In my defense though, it’s not entirely my fault. There is an inner battle we all struggle with- those rough days we have. They don’t tend to translate very well when you have several people in line behind you for coffee or a hundred and forty characters to spell out your day.

Honestly, what was I going to tell that girl who served me my coffee? That one of my tried to kill herself last night and was hooked up to machines to keep her alive?

No. I wasn’t going to tell her this. Because therapists have an ethical obligation to their and shocking total strangers into oblivion is a bit harsh and cruel. Especially when she’s the girl in charge of serving you coffee.

But I did spend the entirety of my day wondering about my sense of authenticity; that collective vulnerability; that polished identity. And it made me feel like a total fraud. Because I’m not any of the things that I feel this girl sees looking across the other side of the counter.

If I showed up one morning, wearing my most ragged and scarred self it would be a very different girl staring back at her (and she would likely feel inclined to offer me a bottle of wine instead of coffee.)

Because I was bullied a lot as a .

I’m afraid of thunderstorms.

I spend an insane amount of time worrying about what other people think of me.

My biggest challenge in life is letting go of people. Even if they hurt me.

I hide behind humor for fear that people won’t accept me without it.

I often feel like I have failed my as a therapist.

I try to avoid large groups so that I won’t feel like the invisible one among it.

I'm insanely self-conscious of my smile.

I feel like I’m an easy person to walk away from in life and it haunts me on a daily basis.

I almost always operate under the assumption that I care more about everyone else than they do about me.

I unfollow people on social media if their life seems too perfect because it makes me feel inadequate.

I feel like a terrible mother pretty much all the time.

I hate cleaning my bathroom.

I want to write a book so badly that it hurts. But I’m afraid of people telling me that I suck.

I struggle, every single day, with feeling like I’m enough. Skinny enough. Funny enough. Good enough.

And I cry. A lot.

I highly doubt I would get a medal for any of this. But I know one thing for sure- that even with all of my insecurities and faults, none of those things make my life any less golden.

Scars tell stories. Scars mean survival. Scars mean you showed up for the fight instead of running from it. We’ve all got them. Even the nice girl serving my coffee. She’s fighting her own battle; defending her own front line; struggling in her own way.

Maybe it’s not about collecting medals for the perceived reality we give the world on our blogs or social media. The reality is, it’s about the purple hearts we get for living bravely among the real world.

Life requires guts; it requires bravery and that requires vulnerability. So next time someone asks me how I'm feeling, I will silently acknowledge my scars proudly and carry on. And so should you.

Remember, you’re not fighting a battle alone.
19 Comments
Today's Idiot of the Day
Posted:Jan 9, 2016 6:31 am
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2016 3:15 am
36820 Views

"There is no sin except stupidity" ~Oscar Wilde

I received an initial email from a guy this morning that went something like this:

"I want to fuck you bareback and cum inside you so we can experience the art of becoming one.. blah blah blah blah..."

My response:

"I appreciate that you want to fuck me but there is no way I am playing Russian roulette with my sexual health. There is absolutely no way I would allow anyone I have met sight unseen to fuck me bareback. Have a nice day."

His response:

"Wow, you must be a real sex machine and fuck a lot of guys. There is no way I would want to fuck a woman who insists that I wear a condom to fuck her. You must be a slut. There is no way I would fuck a slut."

Naturally, his email warranted an immediate block. I can't believe the stupidity of people and the chances they take with their sexual health.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
21 Comments
Embracing a Sexcurflunk
Posted:Jan 3, 2016 8:52 am
Last Updated:Jan 4, 2016 6:41 pm
38033 Views

I am blogging from my hotel in Chicago. My train leaves at 3pm. I wrapped up my trip by checking off several items on my "to do" list except for one. Dinner at Maggiano's Friday night- check, shopping- check, freezing my ass off walking everywhere- check, sex and multiple orgasms uh, notsomuch.

Chicago in the winter is a lot like Kansas except for the wind. We walked so much that my poor feet needed some attention. Yesterday my and I splurged and got pedi's. Later on, we headed to the Navy Pier. We ended up having dinner at a local coffee shop called the Pick me Up cafe.

I had arranged to spend my last night in the city at my friends apartment spending quality intimate time together but he was battling a stomach bug which ruled out a night of passion. We did spend some time cuddling and soaking in his tub which was nice but clearly not the pounding I was seeking.

I did invite him to visit me. I'm hoping he takes me up on that offer because he clearly owes me several good orgasms next time we get together. I'm chalking last night up as a sexcurflunk.

Inquiring minds want to know, have you ever experienced a sexcurflunk?
13 Comments

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