North Harper Creek Falls
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Posted:Aug 14, 2010 6:56 pm
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2011 9:13 pm
30507 Views
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Hello bloggers!
My previous post Ode To Humidity, found me grumbling about the heat. Sorry to gripe, but hey, this is The Venting Blog after all (where griping is okay as long as you get creative with it  ).
Anyway, bitching is one thing, doing something about it is wholly other. With that in mind I hopped up to the mountains where the water is never warm no matter what else is happening.
Skinny dipping a mountain stream at the base of a wide waterfall put all thoughts of the horrid heat far behind.
blog on!
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3
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Ode To Humidity
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Posted:Jul 26, 2010 10:33 pm
Last Updated:May 16, 2011 7:20 pm
31550 Views
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Out through my window the day appears fair.
There's no sign to be seen of what waits in the air.
The sun brightly shining, the birds flying by
with nothing to indicate all is not dry.
Yet outside it lurks, and it's best to be ware.
Water vapor! Water vapor! It's saturated out there!
I just took a shower, I'm cleaner than clean. To my car I must go, but what lies in between?
Infernal heat, and humidity yet,
with the first three steps I started to sweat.
Upon reaching the car I open its door
through which blasting heat begins to outpour.
Da heck with all this, my body is dripping!
To my once clean torso my shirt is now sticking.
The car's like an oven, and that's all it took
to prove at long last that it's true keithcancook.
While I never had doubt, I guess we all can agree,
that the guy is a hero, who invented AC.
blog on!
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14
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Alone With A Dead Man
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Posted:May 15, 2010 8:21 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 11:57 am
33159 Views
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When I was 19, I got a job as an orderly at a small hospital working 3rd shift. It was an eye opening experience for me as I was exposed to various forms of human suffering, and also the means to lessen that suffering.
The first week I was there, I was told to go to a floor that I had not been to yet. The guy who was training me took me to a room, and there on the bed lay a dead man. He was lying on his back with his mouth wide open, sightless eyes staring at the ceiling. I asked what had happened to him, and was told that he was an alcoholic who had succumbed to cirrhosis of the liver. He had expired only minutes before.
Just then the trainer guy was paged, and he told me to wait for him until he returned, then we would "fix" him. He left, and I was in the room alone with the dead man. I did not even know his name. I was not comfortable with this at all, but not wanting to make an issue of it I sat down near the bed and waited.
In the silence of that room I sat there and pondered the end of life, and I vowed to myself that I would try not to drink so much as I had been in recent months so I would not end up like the man lying before me.
Suddenly, along with my thoughts, the silence was broken. The dead man began making noises. My eyes got big and round, and my heart started racing as it seemed to me that the man was gasping! Struggling to breath. Warily I got up and approached the bed. He did not appear to be breathing, but he sure was making all manner of croaks and popping sounds.
To say I was freaking out would be an understatement. I'm thinking that this guy wasn't all the way dead, maybe he was almost dead but something was still alive inside. Or possibly a miracle was occurring. I thought I should run for a nurse or a doctor or something. Or maybe just run out the front door and not look back.
At this juncture the orderly who was training me returned. Excitedly I told him what I had seen, that this guy wasn't dead, and I asked if I should call the nurse. Much to my chagrin the trainer guy just burst out laughing. When he calmed down enough (it sure seemed disrespectful to me to laugh like that over the newly dead), he told me that the sounds I was hearing were the gasses escaping from the body through the mouth and nose.
Then, under his guidance, we "fixed" him. We pulled the sheet off of his body and standing on either side of the bed I assisted him in straightening out his limbs and we crossed his arms on top of his chest. I will never forget lifting that limp dead arm, without resistance, yet with a weight that seemed heavier than it ought to. We gathered the dead man's personal items together and left the room at last. His next journey was in the care of the undertaker.
The inescapable fact of life is that it does end. One day perhaps someone will "fix" me, and maybe even laugh over my lifeless body. It matters little, as death is the great equalizer no matter our station - when once we walked upon the earth.
(sorry for the morbidity of this post, I've been watching a lot of zombie movies lately).
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23
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Prince Albert In A Can
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Posted:May 8, 2010 4:59 pm
Last Updated:Jun 8, 2020 6:34 am
31370 Views
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So I noticed that Lord Jesus Christ has been run over by a car in Northampton, Massachusetts. He was treated at a hospital, and looks to be okay. What a relief. Imagine legally naming yourself Lord Jesus Christ.
I wonder what his resume looks like? The name would look pretty impressive at the top. He'd probably need a miracle or two to get hired. And what if you were his boss? And then had to fire him? Imagine having to can Christ.
What if there was an emergency and he had to call 911? Are the dispatchers gonna believe him after he tells them it's Lord Jesus Christ on the phone?
Say you were the guy who gives public service announcements at the mall, and you had page our Lord? Would you do it? Or would you put it off as some prank like the "do you have Prince Albert in a can" bit, and not make the announcement?
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7
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The White Post
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Posted:May 6, 2010 5:55 pm
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2015 10:10 pm
30919 Views
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Hello bloggers! Welcome to The Venting Blog, and to The White Post where all things white are wonderful.
So, what's white? Paper. Yep. The white page. Music? Yep. The White Album. Angel wings? Those are usually white. Snow. That is white, too.
But the white page can be overwritten. The white snow turns yellow where the huskeys go. Some parts of the white album sound like white noise. Heck, even the color white can easily be transformed by the presence of another color. Any other color.
Yep. White is definitely delicate. So, what's white in your world today? Can you comment in white? Or is this invisible to you, and all you see is white? Do you even like white?
So get your white out and let's see it!
white on!
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12
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Earth Girls Are Easy
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Posted:Apr 30, 2010 7:19 pm
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2017 3:29 pm
29943 Views
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What was that", he whispered.
"It might have been a zombie" he continued, as the campfire began to fade.
"There's no such thing as zombies" she scoffed nervously, from the far side of the fire.
"Maybe so, but we should still have a plan. Head shots are the bes..."
Nothing further was needed as she snuggled into the safety of his arms.
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7
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Are You Rude To Your Readers?
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Posted:Apr 24, 2010 9:43 pm
Last Updated:May 5, 2011 7:31 pm
32026 Views
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Hello, bloggers! I have some questions for y'all.
When you write a post that allows all to read and comment, do you welcome ongoing conversations inside that post?
Suppose you make a friendly comment in a post and the writer of the blog sarcastically insults you? Would you/should you respond to it?
Certainly no one should ever expect to get along with everyone, but that is not my point.
In most cases where the blogging experience turns negative the rudeness begins with the reader, not the writer. Interesting. 
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24
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Symbol of a Nation's Pride
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Posted:Apr 23, 2010 9:12 pm
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2010 2:30 pm
29335 Views
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So, I went down to the Catawba River this afternoon to hike the trails of the McDowell Nature Preserve. I saw something I have not seen in the wild before.
A bald eagle! I was near the river's edge, and he came swooping across the cove, wings spread wide as he swerved and dodged two little blackbirds who were harassing him.
As he turned one final time I got a good look at him from about 25 yards out. That was when I knew for sure what sort of raptor he was. His white-feathered head was stunning in the sunlight.
Yanno, upon further reflection what I witnessed is somewhat of a metaphor for my country. A proud nation being pecked at by pesky little terrorist crows.
blog on!
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9
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Sticky Posts
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Posted:Apr 18, 2010 7:59 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2011 2:59 pm
30665 Views
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Hello bloggers! I was wondering what you guys think about sticky posts? More specifically, basement posts from days long gone. I'm not necessarily including those posts that are "sign ins" or "leave me a message that nobody else will see", not those, but rather those that the author for whatever reason has chosen to bring back to their front page.
I have been featuring posts from the past recently. I know they are being viewed by hundreds of new readers since my curiosity in this matter caused me to count.
What is interesting to me is that they inspire no new comments. It's like taboo or something to jump into a cobwebby conversation between ghosts often long departed.
So, I'm thinking well, what does keithcancook usually do when he sees these thumbtacked titles over on y'alls blogs? Generally, I will give them a quick scan. It has to grab me somehow if I'm gonna stop there before moving on to the first post without a tack.
However, when I do go into these sticky posts, I often will leave my two cents worth. No matter how old the post.
Then again, I am a rather bent blogger who enjoys forays into the basements of BlogLand.
So, who reads sticky posts? Do you feel like it is taboo say something in them?
As always,
blog on!
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22
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More BlogLand Nusery Rhymes III
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Posted:Apr 17, 2010 1:51 pm
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2015 4:00 pm
28813 Views
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Hi ! It's that time again. I've been visiting with new (for me, anyway) bloggers, and have been inspired. Now comes MORE of the third installment in this far from serious series.
Hush little bloggers, don't say a word.
keithie's gonna bring y'all something absurd.
If the absurd sorta makes you grin,
keithie's kinda twisted so come on in.
If you've come in it must be time,
for keithcancook's BlogLand Nursery Rhymes.
fatumpsh
[blog fatumpsh]
Eat her! Eat her! Then what's sweeter
fatumpsh swallows all your peter!
To make you cum she'll stroke you well
while her eyes grow larger as you swell.
(derived from Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater)
lovetokisnsuk
There was a bold blogger with so much to do
what with Pygar's massages, and Chronicles too!
The bloggers signed in, and on tables were spread,
advancing through levels while lying abed.
(derived from There Was An Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe)
emeritebelle
[blog emeritebelle]
emerit-belle-Peep is counting her sleeps
each time she gets up in the a. m.
Soon she'll leave home, for The States all to roam
so her Fiftieth should be a real gem. 
(derived from Little Bo-Peep Has Lost Her Sheep)
extramist
Some girls are hot, some girls are cold,
extamist will take all the lot, and turn em into gold.
(derived from Pease Pudding Hot)
TnWitchyWoman
"Witchycat witchycat where have you been?"
"I've been down to Houston with old Homecoming Queens."
"Witchycat witcycat what'd you see there?
"I saw former classmates without any hair!"
(derived from Pussycat Pussycat Where Have You Been)
smrtgirl2167
[blog smrtgirl2167]
smrtgirl had a little blog which soon began to grow
And in that blog she plays great games that are quite apropos.
She put us in her pool one day, we all began to drool,
we couldn't wait to join the fray, and diddled with our tools.
(derived from Mary Had A Little Lamb)
blog on!
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11
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BlogLand Nursery Rhymes III
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Posted:Apr 15, 2010 10:13 pm
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2015 4:02 pm
31102 Views
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Hi ! It's that time again. I've been visiting with new (for me, anyway) bloggers, and have been inspired. Now comes the third installment in this far from serious series.
Hush little bloggers, don't say a word.
keithie's gonna bring y'all something absurd.
If the absurd sorta makes you grin,
keithie's kinda twisted so come on in.
If you've come in it must be time,
for keithcancook's BlogLand Nursery Rhymes.
TheLilFondler
Pat a cake, Pat a cake, Faker man.
Find me that fake as fast as you can.
Pan him, ban him, never let him wander.
We mustn't let this stalker-jerk harass TheLilFondler.
(derived from Pat a cake Pat a cake baker's man)
paisleylibrarian
[blog paisleylibrarian]
One, two, not bad when it's new.
Three, four, so what if there's more?
Four, now five, how fast they arrive!
Five, six, and all with dick pics.
Seven, eight, and none of em rate.
Nine, ten, what's wrong with these men?
Eleven, twelve, and most of 'em shelved.
Thirteen, fourteen, they're piling at the door.
Are they so deluded that they think this girls a ?
paisley has no time for all these guys who wish to score.
(derived from One Two Buckle My Shoe)
koocnachtiek
Ha ha koocnachtiek
Are you such a fool?
No sir, no sir,
my master is uncool.
He makes me do the dumbest things,
and makes me sound inane.
I hope you all will understand
my master's quite insane.
(derived from Ba Ba Black Sheep)
Chelsea2219
[blog Chelsea2219]
Ding dong bell
Chelsea's house is hell.
Who put her in?
Is disarray a sin?
What pulled her out?
She organized, no doubt.
What a naughty girl was she
to scatter all her stuff with glee.
From messy closets to dresser drawers,
plus all her clothes spread on the floors,
will this house stay in a fog?
Bet on "yes", she likes to blog.
(derived from Ding Dong Bell)
jamesinstl
[blog jamesinstl]
Hey diddle diddle, the wirings all a riddle,
now his puter has gone to the moon.
The bloggers did cry that it wasn't much fun,
since James could no longer commune.
(derived from Hey Diddle Diddle The Cat and the Fiddle)
Island_Girl
[blog Island_Girl]
Loosey Goosey Gander she hopes to use her candor.
Upstairs, downstairs and in her bedroom chamber.
There she met her old man, who would not hear her prayers.
Even though she's alwys wet he rarely tries her wares. 
(derived from Goosey Goosey Gander Where Shall I Wander)
theroticneed
[blog theroticneed]
theroticneed has great renown,
great renown, great renown.
theroticneed has great renown,
She's a Lady.
theroticneed suffers no clowns,
dislikes frowns, looks good in gowns.
theroticneed suffers no clowns,
She's not shady.
theroticneed blogs all around,
all around, all around.
theroticneed blogs all around,
She's not afraidy. *
(derived from London Bridge Is Falling Down)
* ok, you guys find another word that rhymes with lady! 
devilish_vicy
There was a crooked shirt,
it was in a crooked pile.
devilish picked up all the lot,
and folded them with style.
(derived from There Was A Crooked Man Who Walked A Crooked Mile)
Authors note: If you liked these, and would like to see what I can do with you (rhyming-wise, you pervs), let me know here in this post. I just love crafting little witty ditties! 
blog on!
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20
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Snippets
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Posted:Apr 14, 2010 6:43 pm
Last Updated:Nov 3, 2015 12:38 pm
29110 Views
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"You're being negative", he said.
"No, I'm not", she replied.
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13
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Cars Gone Bad
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Posted:Apr 13, 2010 9:07 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2010 9:34 am
28026 Views
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Hello bloggers! Guess where keithcancook spent the last four days? Yep. In the wild. On the Uwharrie River to be more specific. My friend and I wished to welcome Spring in the high country, so we loaded up her van, and headed for the hills.
We were in high spirits entering the forest. We wound our way over the bumpy gravel road for miles. Deeper and deeper into the wilderness until we reached our intended destination for a few days of camping.
Then disaster struck!
"What's that smell, do you smell that?", I asked her.
"I think so, she replied. "Is something wrong"?
So I tell her to pull over, and I got out when she did. That's when I saw the tire. 
She saw my face, and asked me what was the matter.
I told her that the good news is that we are gonna get our usual camping crisis* out of the way early on this trip.
"Well, what's the bad news?", she asked.
"We won't find that out until we check the spare tire", I told her.
So, do any of y'all have any stories of cars gone bad in the worst of possible places?
*On one trip we ran down the car battery by accident, and had to wait for a jump while in the middle of nowhere without a cellular signal. (that actually happened on two different occasions).
On another trip I fractured two ribs.
We got lost in the woods on a different trip, and we get lost driving on just about every trip we take.
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8
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To link to this blog (keithcancook) use [blog keithcancook] in your messages.
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