The Squeal of the Swine
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Posted:May 22, 2005 5:11 pm
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2017 9:38 pm
20158 Views
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . AFriendFinder TATTLER
BlogLand's BATTLE OF THE SEXES TAKES NEW TURN! A TATTLER EXCLUSIVE REPORT!
Communications intercepted ILlegally by the intrepid folks at the TATTLER have revealed new developments in the GENDERGATE dispute (now being referred to as the THOUSAND YEARS WAR or the WARS of the HOSES)
Correspondence between keith and katey are as follows...
SensuallyKatey (silently slips over here to the pigcancook camp to leave a sly little note......we now have more men in our dungeon than you have bacon pig and further more we even have keith.....we shall show no mercy and the orgy has begun...I am first ) Kate
Yes [blog SensuallyKatey] , has reported this sinister new development. A SQUEAL APPEAL is even now being sent. We shall lead the rescue party which will probably include every able bodied male in BlogLand.
Brothers! Line Up!
Shortly after this we picked up increased activity in the Mens Zone...
hey where are the rest of the MAGNIFICENT SEVEN?
(boss, I think we have a problem)
Then, from the SEAT of the SWINE itself comes this ringing call to action.
A SQUEAL APPEAL is even now being sent to every district in BlogLand. Brothers are in danger! Captured at Katey's ( [blog SensuallyKatey] ) they have now been moved. Held hostage in the very heart of the FEMALE'S BASTION, the World Headquarters (NYC) , they will be under intense pressure from the finest women in BlogLand.
Brothers of BlogLand! Heed the squeal of the SWINE! Follow the PATH of the PECCARY to NYC! We shall free the brothers held there and pillage the place before we leave. BlogLands fairest females are gathered in their lair. A bounty of Beautiful babes await us! They shall be the spoils of our VICTORY!
With so many men and women crammed into one dungeon, most of us are likely to score! The pigster promises a pussy for every peccar(y) ! Cum my brothers! You need not be great warriors to join. (after all they are only women) All you need is the ablilty to get it up and keep it up. They shall swoon at the sight of so many PECCARY'S all lined up to face them and the day will be OURS!
~ pigcancook
BlogLanders! Hear me! Only through the AFriendFinder TATTLER will you find the most up to date manufactured developments available in the Land of Blog. DO NOT FORGET WHERE THE TRUE THREAT LIES! Er, I mean DO NOT FORGET THAT THE TATTLER THREADS THROUGH THE LIES! Aquire your copy of AFriendFinder TATTLER TODAY!
The PUBLISHER
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Women Trying To Act Like Men? ROFLMFAO!
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Posted:May 18, 2005 9:59 pm
Last Updated:Jul 10, 2007 8:24 pm
23892 Views
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Where are you my BRETHEREN? Y'all are falling over yourselves in an effort to separate yourselves from pigcancook , and you appear to be as weak as, as ...GIRLS! Yes, only SEVEN have stood firm. Forever more these MAGNIFICENT SEVEN will be glorified in the annals of our MOVEMENT.
expatbrit49Tala4u2mnfun952mi_mwpm
...Who else will STAND with US?
Even now BLONDENEEDSSEX attempts to gather the sisters together. They are going to attempt to act like MEN! Have y'all ever heard of such a ludicrous idea?
Females trying to act like MEN? ROFLMFAO! As if! LOLOLOLOLOL! The bacon is shakin' pigcancook is laughing so hard!
Let me know how ya like it. The work we do is not like pretending to do laundry while watching The Young and the Restless . Or walking your little "meal tickets" in their little carriages through the neighborhood. That's right girls. It is no walk in the park out in the jungle where the MEN hold sway.
Y'all will never survive out there. You actually have to PRODUCE something (besides another meal ticket) , not sit around popping bon bons and watching Oprah .
The only good thing that can come of your little experiment is that you will be going around shirtless a lot more and that makes pigcancook very happy.
~ pigcancook
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SHAMEFUL CONTEST IN BLOGLAND
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Posted:May 17, 2005 11:42 pm
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2015 6:36 pm
23500 Views
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Men of BlogLand, the females are banding together and attempting to make us look funny. Are we going to let them? NO WE ARE NOT GOING TO LET THEM! (we do that perfectly well on our own) Even now some of you are wavering. STAND FIRM! BLONDENEEDSSEX is stirring up trouble over at her place. greeneyesatl05 has made disparaging remarks as well. [blog txrose4uNTX] is trying to shame us with a contest. One of our bretheren, keithcancook has brought me news of this upcoming farce. Brother keith has SEEN it and responded. Control your urges my brothers. STAND FIRM!
-pigcancook
txrose4uNTX PROPOSED CONTEST
BEST DILF BLOGGER
BEST DILF PROFILE
BEST DILF PHOTO
BEST DILF
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Brother keith's response to the DILF contests:
How degrading. Like we are some sort of horseflesh put on display for the pleasure of females. Y'all won't look at our minds or even try to understand us. You use us for display, like we are some kind of conquest or something. We work so hard to make relationships work. We listen to ALL the things going on in YOUR lives, why won't you pay any attention to OURS?
Why is it called PMS? -- Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
And now it comes to this. Another silly contest. Y'all will most likely want to throw cold water on our t-shirts and then make lewd comments when our nipples stand out. Like we can control that or something. Jeesh! Whaddaya expect?
Q : What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
We will be subjected to BARBARIC judging based loosely on the intensity of your drunken cheers. Round after round until only best looking are left. To be ogled, wolf whistled, and disparaged by lewd remarks broadcast from the stage and echoed throughout the audience. Reducing us to mere objects of lust, our dignity shredded.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
Sad to say, we are so vain that we will sign up for this abuse in droves. I myself feel the call of the spotlight and the chill of the water. It is a powerful call. I would never admit to it but I secretly love the attention I will get from those lust blinded females.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Yes, I will say it. I LOVE to tease them! They will be screaming for me but they won't get me. (except for that cute one over there maybe) . I will drive them mad with desire and then with a perfect tilt of my head and a striking pose with butt pushed sligtly out, I will give a flip of my hair and exit the stage.
The MEN will rule. It is the natural ORDER of things.
Oh! But I musn't! Good men don't do that sort of thing. I have my reputation to think about. Dear, dear. What will I do?
pigcancook is the TRUTH
I must quickly get to my new mentor pigcancook for more indoctrination. He is leading the males in the march for MEN'S RIGHTS! He even burned the keys to his minivan in protest. No More MiniVans! Sports coups for all! Soon men will be on the march and mini-van keys will be burned NATIONWIDE.
pigcancook bows to no woman
I am going to rally all my friends to this cause. The rats must come out! And papyrina cannot stop them.
pigcancook rarely gets laid
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Great Quotes By a Chauvinist Male
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Posted:May 17, 2005 9:48 am
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2017 6:44 pm
30698 Views
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Great Quotes By a Chauvinist Male
Females are curious creatures. They would rather BUY shoes than wear them.
- pigcancook
Shopping is a device used by females for many purposes. They imagine it makes them feel better when they are down. They use it as an excuse to leave the with you. Then gawd knows where they really go. Often women will go shopping for the sole purpose of revenging themselves upon their men by frivolously spending his cash.
- pigcancook
For females crying is like shopping. They use it for many purposes. Often they will cry over something false just to put you off track from what is really bothering them.
- pigcancook
Women are fickle. Take dresses for instance. First they want the blue one. Then they decide they hate it and want the pink one. Just to be sure, they get both but wear neither. They treat men the same way.
- pigcancook
Many females suffer from powderoomophobia. They fear to enter the bathroom alone when out in public and must have at least one other female with them. They like it better when four or more go in together. Gawd only knows what goes on in there...
- pigcancook
Female homosexuals I can understand. Who wouldn't be attracted to those softer and more supple bodies? Outside of the Adonis types, male bodies just aren't as nice.
- pigcancook
Women seem to talk a lot. They are never far from a phone. I took a phone away from one once and the poor thing just fell apart.
- pigcancook
Women are okay cooks in general. I get exasperated with them sometimes though. Especially when they call you to dinner. You put down your beer and go to the table. They bring ya your food and sit down to join you. I'm like, "Hey! Where's my milk? " Then you have to wait while they get back up to get it. Jeesh.
- pigcancook
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COMMENT BUG CONTAINED! A TATTLER EXCLUSIVE REPORT
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Posted:May 16, 2005 8:50 am
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2015 9:52 am
19367 Views
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . AFriendFinder TATTLER
COMMENT BUG CONTAINED! COMMUNICATIONS CRISIS UNDER CONTROL IN OUR COMMUNITY!
BlogLanders! Hear me! The Power of the People is Paramount! And the People have Prevailed! Have I not Plainly Put our Principles forward through my Public Pronouncements in this Paper? Perhaps some have not Paid attention to the Problems that have Plagued us? Others Promote Putting limits upon our Prose. Opposing Opinions aside, Open your ears and HEAR ME!
Our oppressors are on the run! We have pooled our resources and pumped our energies into placing our COMMUNITY in a UNITED position of power!
We have shaken the very foundations of the TOWER OF POWER and the AUTHORITIES are trembling as they await our next effort. Heeding my plea to UNITE many of you are falling under my spell...er, calling out to quell these puny attacks under which we have been subjected in the fair Land of Blog.
My power...um...Our power is Rising! Place your trust in me. For I shall lead you to the promised land where posts never die. My plans for usurping power...er...for spurring the power of a UNITED BlogLand will benefit all of us and in due time I er, we I mean to say, shall rule the Land of Blog as I ....um, as WE see fit.
Blog by blog we will clear out the weak and the foolish. It has already begun. Take that crybaby keithrunsandhides for an example. He cannot close his blog for long when The PUBLISHER is on the scene.
What a laughable joke he has become. In the best interests of BlogLand I have suppressed keithtakeshisballandgoeshome and am now in control of his blog. I can guarantee that he will not be able to close it under my watch. For I am
The PUBLISHER
Authors note: My friends, all lampooning aside the site in which we blog does seem to be attempting to improve our service and have our interests at heart. Much of the frustration we have felt here at times derives directly from the fact that we are unaware of the rules and what the boundaries are when we blog.
In a small, but much welcomed effort at PR, fellow blogger and insider with the AUTHORITIES luvpump , has posted the following comment in The Venting Blog :
5/16/2005 12: 05 am "Hey... sorry about that bug... was never intended to limit people
to single posts - just not duplicates of the same post. I rolled
out a fix. Very cool blog, btw In June, I'll have some time
to add more to the blog code... currently working on a new member
feature - out in a few weeks. "
Thanks luvpump.
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NOT SO FUNNY....THE VENTING BLOG WEIGHS IN
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Posted:May 15, 2005 6:05 pm
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2007 12:20 am
12957 Views
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I have observed an ongoing difference of opinion recently by the author [blog Mysticwriter88]and other authors sitting on the "most popular blogs" list. I have watched this with both amusement and alarm.
This Battle of the Network Stars is good for BlogLand since it brings opposing opinions to the forefront of the blogging world and debate is an efficient way to gain knowledge and reach a broader understanding of any issue.
It is not so good for BlogLand because some inflammatory and very negative comments have produced a rift between some of us.
In any event I will take the bad if I can get the good. Today I encountered the latest fullisade from the Sexual Researcher/Philosopher blog composed by Mysticwriter88. I responded over there and have decided to open up my blog again to publish it here.
Today [blog Mysticwriter88] writes:
Way to FUNNY
Mysticwriter88 5/15/2005 2:45 pm
I am very distressed by another members comment and many members in general.
Sometimes in the process of fixing something, you may accidentally mess something else up. I have not seen Senior Sizzle issue anything yet stating the “one comment” rule. What I do know is that a lot of members do not take this site seriously at all and that includes its features as well. The object of the site is to meet people you have common ground with and hopefully take that into a real life meeting. The object is in fact to have fun, but most bloggers just screw off writing false statements and general incorrect information.
I love hearing about other people’s experiences and life in general, and that is why I read some of the blogs that I do. Those people actually use it to show who they are. I study a lot of sex and history, therefore I write about it because it directly shows who I am. Many of you write stuff that is false and since the blogs are suppose to be a reflection of who you are I then have to assume you are a group of liars and negative attention seekers in real life as well.
Who gives a two bit flying fu** if you can only post a certain number of comments per person on each blog. Most of you write several hundred blogs a month and several blogs a day. You pharm comments and popularity, and absolutely nothing more. A couple of you complained because I re-post a lot of the same things. I re-post them because I drastically alter them and normally delete the previous ones. I have deleted posts that sometimes had 20 to 30 comments posted on it. Obviously I am here to meet people and don’t give a rat’s ass about popularity or I would not have deleted the posts and the several hundred comments I have.
The only other popular bloggers I have seen write a lot of very real and wonderful stuff is Goddessofthedawn, and sexyfitwoman.
I know that personally… I would rather see the same post over and over than I would to keep seeing so many (specific) people posting whimpers. That is all it is, crying and complaining. If you don’t like it then you do not have to be here. I never said a single thing about your guy’s blogging habits until a couple of them started posting comments about me within their blogs because I banned them from being able to post in mine. I don’t like their blogs so therefore I do not read them. That is the mature way of handling something. I noticed that despite how many of you that claim to hate my blog… the recent visitor’s list showed a recent visit from almost 20 of you today. You people are almost twice my senior and bit** moan, and cry more then I do. If you stayed off my blog and all that then I wouldn’t be posting this crap as I wasn’t posting this before. Act your age and be a role model for the youth like me. Don’t sit here and tell me to be mature when I am only reacting to the childish crap that you keep pulling.
My own essay follows:
Hmm, interesting post mystic and I think I understand your point. I beg to differ though. I think that the object of this site is open to different interpretations. In fact, there may be as many objects as there are members.
As a more personal example of OBJECTIVES and their myriad forms lets look at the Sexual Researcher/Philosopher blog that you compose. I think you will find many who agree that the object of this site is to meet people for sex. Pure and simple, end of story. However, you do not fit this object at all. Your object seems to be quite different. My object also differs somewhat from the example given.
One difference between the two of us is that I am not offended by your blog as you are of mine. Yet an even MORE SIGNIFICANT difference is that I would not be so haughty as to suggest that you or anyone else is a liar. Where are the "false statements and general incorrect information" that you refer to? You seem to find it important to back up what you say in your sexual analysis research. You have inflamed the situation by making slanderous and negative statements without backing up your claims with nary an example of what you mean. This is beyond your usual thoroughness that I have noticed in your other posts.
Personally, I find many of your ideas interesting and in fact I share many of your interests in history. Since I was a young lad I have been reading many of the classics of medieval and Enlightenment history including Le Morte D'Arthur by Mallory, Orlando Furioso by Ariosto, Spencer's The Fairy Queen, Rabelais'Gargantua and Pantegruel, The Divine Comedy by Dante, and The Three Musketeers by Dumas to name a few. My first love in literature and history was with classical Greece. I read and reread everything I could find on Gods, Heroes, Myths... It just carried on when I discovered knights in shining honor and I still read this stuff today.
I too have felt at times a wistfulness for the days of chivalry where honor was important and women were cherished. But all that is an illusion. Those times had just as many liars, cheaters, ravishers, and what not as do the times we live in today. In fact it was worse then than it is today with regard to how women are treated.
In true point of fact this idealism did not actually exist outside of the romantic songs and stories spread by the troubadors as they travelled and plied their trade. Even in the times in question courtly love was an ideal not an actual fact of daily life. It simply was not practiced on any wide scale.
As for your opinion on my blog, well I do not think you have read it all have you? In some of my earlier posts there are subjects that are right up your alley. Why not give them a once over and weigh in?
In some ways I may have made a mockery of what YOU expect to see on this blog site, but I do not apologize for it. If you had taken time to read my entire blog you would have noticed its metamorphosis.
It simply shifted gears and in my opinion it broadened . It took on a new challenge. It became an entertainment in character. It was just me and my brain deciding to experiment with what a blog could do. I think that it was successful since it has brought a chuckle to desktops around the world. I have been very gratified by this response and will continue to post my storylines again when I have adjusted to the new site rules. This form of blogging requires me to comment often and the new rules prevent that somewhat.
"I love hearing about other people’s experiences and life in general, and that is why I read some of the blogs that I do. Those people actually use it to show who they are. I study a lot of sex and history, therefore I write about it because it directly shows who I am. Many of you write stuff that is false and since the blogs are suppose to be a reflection of who you are I then have to assume you are a group of liars and negative attention seekers in real life as well. "
In my opinion this is a misleading statement about your supposed broadmindedness in seeking out the life experiences of others. You certainly slandered me publicly without actually mentioning my name. My blog does in fact reveal who I am over the course of it if you had taken the time to read it and even more importantly the wit to understand it you would not have posted as you did. I am not a liar, but I have been lied to in the worst ways imaginable over the course of years. In fact, being called a liar is about the worst insult I can imagine personally. It raises my hackles and I controlling myself from venting very negatively to you over this baseless and shameful attack that you oh chivalrous one have launched without cause.
You have made a fool of yourself with this crusade. Why? Because your original premise was completely off base. For myself only, I say that popularity is only a small factor in the equation. It's importance to me stems from the undeniable fact that the popular list will generate readership and readership is what I desire. Yet I would write the same whether or not the list exists. So it's importance is not so all encompassing as you seem to believe. For a true measure of your mistake presented plainly and simply, please refer to the post my friend BLONDENEEDSSEX posted on my behalf and without my prompting. This states clearly where you erred in your understanding of these present issues.
"That is all it is, crying and complaining. If you don’t like it then you do not have to be here. "
Please refer to the post titled It is becoming a total JOKE... dated May 14, 2005. Here you will find the original whiner. Crying and complaining about the literary devices of others who have meant you no harm.
"I noticed that despite how many of you that claim to hate my blog… the recent visitor’s list showed a recent visit from almost 20 of you today. You people are almost twice my senior and bit** moan, and cry more then I do. If you stayed off my blog and all that then I wouldn’t be posting this crap as I wasn’t posting this before. Act your age and be a role model for the youth like me. Don’t sit here and tell me to be mature when I am only reacting to the childish crap that you keep pulling. "
These folks are here because there is a controversy and they want to stay informed. This controversy was unprovoked and brought upon by sour grapes on the part of yourself Mysticwriter88. Or perhaps I should refer to you as Sir Mordred . You appear to have some of his attributes.
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New Bug Shuts Down The Venting Blog
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Posted:May 13, 2005 1:47 pm
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2023 10:28 pm
19947 Views
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My friends, without the interaction provided by commenting, posting in The Venting Blog has become useless to its author.
As a consequence this blog shall close until the afflicting bug has been purged.
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LAWSUITS THREATENED OVER HOLLYBLOG SQUARES! A TATTLER EXCLUSIVE
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Posted:May 12, 2005 7:57 pm
Last Updated:Aug 5, 2006 6:08 pm
19229 Views
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . AFriendFinder TATTLER
BARRISTERS BATTER BLOGLAND WITH BLOGGLEdeeGOOP ! ( blegalese for bullshit)
Suit and Counter Suit Follow Debut of BlogLand's Hit Television Show HOLLYBLOG SQUARES
Filming Renewed Despite BLEGAL Action. HOLLYBLOG fans From All BlogLand Voice Opinions.
The AFriendFinder TATTLER has learned that 'trained legal experts' have at last encroached upon our budding community. Known outside of BlogLand as LAWYERS, they are not all necessarily here to find partners as are most citizens in our fair Land of Blog. Some of them are here to ply their trade as witnessed by documents of the emerging brou ha ha obtained by the TATTLER.
It has long been feared that this outside custom would eventually find its way into BlogLand. Without a BLOGAL SYSTEM of JUSTICE in place it is not clear at present where these procedures my lead.
The opening salvos have been fired as witnessed by the following correspondence between local blogger keithcancook and Blegal counsel retained by Hollywood Squares.
The documents were sourced directly from comments in keithcancook 's post of May 8th titled HOLLYBLOG SQUARES and their authenticity cannot be disputed.
( These were NOT ficticious documents formatted on machines that did not even exist at the time of their "making" . The TATTLER does not yet stoop to forgery to get stories) .
The PUBLISHER
DOCUMENT #1
Dear Mr. Keith-Can-Cook,
I am writing to inform you that I represent Hollywood Squares and their trademark. You have infringed on the use of the Hollywood Squares intellectual property and you must cease immediately. Failure to comply will require us to seek injunctive relief and damages.
To avoid further action, please provide us with the names and of the contestants on your square. If you respond within the hour with the information we desperately want and need we will take no further action against you. and call the beautiful woman and ask them to lunch with me cooked by you
Signed
IPman IntellectualPropertyMan
DOCUMENT #2
Dear Intellectual Property Man,
My attorneys-at-blog have determined that Hollywood Squares has no eminent domain over tic-tac-toe based games and in fact we have discovered that the original idea for HOLLYBLOG SQUARES occured to keithcancook in the late 1960's in the form of a wet dream. YOU are a very clever and imaginative blogger IPman. I think we are going to get along just fine. Lunch prepared by me is a wonderful idea.
As a consequence we are even now preparing to counter-sue for damages and eventually hope to RUIN y'all for even thinking about FUCKING with us. The ladies will be all over me in appreciation while you are in the kitchen cleaning up the mess!
Also, even though I am now a TV PRODUCER I am not your ordinary California variety of producer. However, seeing as how you are such an astute fellow I think we can reach a comprimise.
Honor is held in high esteem here and releasing personal information is out of the question. We can do this later in a more secure environment.
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WARDROBE MALFUNCTION RESULTS IN CANCELLATION OF HOLLYBLOG SQUARES! TATTLER EXCLUSIVE!
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Posted:May 10, 2005 5:30 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
19913 Views
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The smash hit television show that has swept through the living rooms of BlogLand has been cancelled due to a wardrobe controversy.
During filming of the entertaining new game show one of the CELEBRITY GUESTS revealed a certain part of her anatomy out of turn and before getting backstage with the occupant of the CENTER SQUARE.
The facts are a bit muddled, but it appears that in an effort to be called on first this GUEST bared her breasts as ANOTHER celebrity was preparing to address a question with the occupant of the CENTER SQUARE.
This resulted in outrage from ALL the CELEBRITY GUESTS and suddenly and without warning they shed their tops on camera.
The cameras kept rolling and it appears that the show devolved into chaos. Clothes were flying off and even the contestants and members of the audience rushed the stage in an effort to get involved.
Interviewed as she was wisked away in a limo, the offending CELEBRITY GUEST claimed a WARDROBE MALFUNCTION caused her top to slip off.
The CENSORS of BlogLand in their infinate wisdom have decided to pull the show without notice.
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HOLLYBLOG SQUARES
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Posted:May 8, 2005 12:27 pm
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2015 9:48 am
19569 Views
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AFriendFinder TATTLER
SUNDAY TV GUIDE
HOLLYBLOG SQUARES
PRODUCED by keithcancook , this daily game show is based on the tic tac toe game known throughout the world. Contestants vie to match up the center square with all the other squares. (if ya get three in a row you win a BONUS prize, but the MAIN IDEA is to match the CENTER SQUARE with ALL the other CELEBRITY GUEST SQUARES in any combination imaginable. Zig Zagging across the board is allowed and is in fact ENCOURAGED.
Play begins with the first contestant choosing a square. The CELEBRITY GUEST occupying the chosen square then goes BACKSTAGE to confer and copulate, er, postulate, possible answers with the occupant of the CENTER SQUARE. When finished with the copulation, er postulation they will return to the game squares where the answer will be given.
Questions to those in the CELEBRITY GUEST SQUARES will be either true/false or in a multiple choice format. The contestant will then decide whether she AGREES or DISAGREES with the answer given. Correct answers will receive a corresponding X or O. The game continues until the CENTER SQUARE has been matched with ALL the other CELEBRITY GUEST SQUARES or until the occupant of the CENTER SQUARE cries MERCY!
The first few programs have already passed the producers review process and are slated to open the upcoming season .
SHOW #
CENTER SQUARE: keithcancook
CELEBRITY GUESTS: sexyfitwoman, BLONDENEEDSSEX, mzhunyhole, papyrina, GoddessOfTheDawn, Barbiebunny69, bella_, SensuallyKatey
SHOW #
CENTER SQUARE: keithcancook
CELEBRITY GUESTS: missy97330, Dandth, greeneyesatl05, LacyCuffs, wyvernrose, Crimson959, candy69sosweet, playfulwithyou33
SHOW #
CENTER SQUARE: keithcancook
CELEBRITY GUESTS: Ladyblue85, Ecaffine, Barbarella585, _CoffeeNoCream_, FrustratedBBW03, havemercy97, Sinderlicious, Firsttime36
SHOW #
CENTER SQUARE: keithcancook
CELEBRITY GUESTS: TXROSE4Untx OktobyrsStar, hourglasses, bbwprowling, waggypolly, CurvyMelissa, 1GreatestWoman, lovelyLady
SHOW #
CENTER SQUARE: keithcancook
CELEBRITY GUESTS: boney1551, Tigercat221, hugmekissmef_me, starlight6412, AsianCatTongue, kissablemeinmn, merrybrown40, Jezebels_GString
SHOW #
CENTER SQUARE: keithcancook
CELEBRITY GUESTS: humboldthonni, morefutility, EE407, FirstTimer554, BigDnLady, TandJ_95, sweet_grass, raindrops25
We are saving this one for our FANTASY WEEK to be shown during the ratings week period.
mzhunyhole mzhunyhole mzhunyhole
mzhunyhole mzhunyhole
mzhunyhole mzhunyhole mzhunyhole
Occasionally throughout the year the show will be open to carefully selected males. These shows will correspond to days when keithcancook is on vacation recovering from the rigors of publishing, producing, writing, and occupying the CENTER SQUARE.
APPLICATIONS to appear in the center square will be processed either according to the reciprocity system or to the highest bidder depending on which one has the most value.
Details Inside!
SPECIAL SHOW WITH NEW FORMAT ARRANGED FOR A SPECIAL CELEBRITY
Barbiebunny69Jezebels_GString
(it's good to be The Producer)
Hollyblog Squares has now been updated with the latest technology. Many thanks to the MAYOR OF BLOGLAND, [blog sexyfitwoman]
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BlogLand ROCKED BY LURKER REVELATIONS
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Posted:May 6, 2005 7:53 pm
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2015 9:41 am
18246 Views
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......................................................AFriendFinder TATTLER
...............................SCANDAL! LURKER EVIDENCE FOUND IN BlogLand!
....VANDALISM! IDENTITY THEFT! SACRILIGE! FOOD POISONING! BIZARRE ANIMAL SEX! BEAUTIFUL BLONDES!
.......expatbrit49 SUFFERS SEVERE DAMAGE, BLOGLAND AUTHORITIES GEARING UP FOR MASSIVE AID EFFORT!
...........ANCIENT WEATHER REPORTS RUSHED TO METEOROLOGY DEPARTMENT AT BLOGLAND UNIVERSITY
......................................................................DETAILS INSIDE!
.........................................................................The PUBLISHER
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9
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HELP! I AM STUCK IN A "COMMENT BOX" AND I CANNOT GET OUT!!!
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Posted:May 2, 2005 5:49 pm
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2015 9:40 am
18881 Views
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" hellLPP! Is there no one in All BlogLand who can HEAR me in here? "
Will someone, anyONE, please diddybop on over to that moron keithcantgetout 's blog post for May 1st, titled The Butcher, The Baker, and The Candlestick Maker and release him?
He has trapped himself in the comment box in there and needs assistance immediately!
In order to save him you must enter the comment area by clicking on comments at the bottom of the MAY 1st post. (don't press this one or you will look as dumb as he is) .
Once in the comment box please leave a comment or two which seems to be the most promising way of releasing him from his present prediciment.
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17
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The Butcher, The Baker and The Candlestick Maker
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Posted:May 1, 2005 11:58 pm
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2023 6:13 am
20850 Views
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The only way to become the leading BLOG HISTORIAN on the site is to read as many old posts as I can.
Delving ever deeper into dusty, cobwebby, basements where no man goes. It's lonely down there and the walls can close in on you.
It plays on your mind. Phantoms and ghosts flit about. Archives of the minds of bloggers both known and unknown reappear.
Crackling like old parchment unrolled after untold years, forgotten phrases are remembered once again. Interestingly, many of these topics are still being widely discussed throughout the Land of Blog.
My trusty flashlight has brought light once again to images hovering above an endless array of basement doors. Flickering briefly in the roaming brightness I see the faces, poses, and title pix of posts both interesting and mundane.
One reason that the study of Blog Archeology is not among the leading disciplines in BlogLand University's College of Arts and Sciences, concerns the danger encountered deep in the abyss of blog basements.
Last week, while trying to retrace my steps after my deepest plunge yet, my not-so-trusty flashlight failed. I was left in the pitch black dark, cold and shivering. Shaking and tapping on my flashlight gave me brief glimpses of the long dim hallways.
Nearly blind, I stumbled and clawed my way out, pausing only to eat the waxy remnants of the egg salad sandwich I had in my pocket.
I'm not really sure, time cannot be counted down there, but I think it took me almost week to escape. Something happened to me during that terrifying journey. Something I cannot seem to put my finger on.
As I closed in on the last staircase the light of day beckoned from the crack under the door. Yet try as I may I could not reach it. I felt as Tantalus, with the stolen ambrosia of forgotten posts under my arm, reaching for the branches of freedom hanging just out of my grasp.
I cracked. My mind collapsed upon itself as the personalities within struggled for control of my consciousness, vying to take over my waking mind and spring from the dark recesses of my inner fears into the light of day.
I do not know who I am now. I could be several people, but I only seem to have ID for one. Perhaps that is who I am but I cannot be sure.
I seem to recall glimpses of myself committing horrible crimes by tinkering with history. Adding to the past a voice from the present. But a voice not my own, it being filled with sarcastic cynicism, hurled with venomous glee on the walls of Ancient Blogland like angry teens armed with spraypaint.
Longstanding monuments of BlogLand history are now altered. Teams of Sweepers armed with the power of DELETE will have to be sent down into the Pits of Blog to clean up the mess.
My nightmares also include delusions of grandeur manifested in the persona of one who refers to himself everywhere he goes as The PUBLISHER . This upstart imagines himself as a BIG SHOT newspaper publisher who can lead the masses in revolt against the POWERS oF BlogLand. He is a pompous ass, but in all actuality he is nothing more than a puff of smoke on a windy day.
Yet he is there in my mind, seeking the levers which will give him control of my thoughts. He battles the dark side of my personality and the winner hopes to obtain my mind as the victory prize. Both are egomaniacs and the Psychiatry Department at good ol BlogLand U will soon become hotbed for the study of schizophrenia and similar disorders.
But I, I remain keithcancook . A simple but lonely blogger on an adult web site.
For a little while.
The battle still rages. The only commonality between us is that we all want to get laid.
Am I one
or am I three?
All I want to be
is me.
( We also agree that bloggers should beware of going into basements. )
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16
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To link to this blog (keithcancook) use [blog keithcancook] in your messages.
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