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Just a Funk ~  

jajo696 65F
319 posts
9/3/2020 8:21 pm
Just a Funk ~

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jajo696 65F
2530 posts
9/3/2020 8:46 pm

Ive posted here before about my family and how alone and orphaned i feel.

Today is my dads birthday, he passed more than 30 years ago, was a hard working blue collar steel machinist. I remember his working second shift, so when i came home from school he was gone, and when he came home from work, i was asleep. The weekends were our times...driving to the ocean....driving to the stables ( he loved horses), him sneaking me in to the race tracks, when i was too young to legally be there, him flooding a spot in the back yard for ice skating, going to the drive in and always wondering how i wound up in my bed the next morning. Of course there are some not so wonderful memories too, but therein lies my funk...there is noone left to say, " remember when ? " We were a family of four....and he, mom and brother have all passed on. A close knit, ride or die family of four. They were all Virgos, all born within a week of each other in September. And they all died in the month of March ( my March Madness blog ), they are together....celebrating their days of birth. I miss them immensely.
Hence my funk .....
Happy Heavenly Day of Birth Dad. Thank you for life...love ....and the memories! I Love You ~~


Paulxx001 63M  
16863 posts
9/3/2020 9:58 pm

Wow. That's rather sad. πŸ˜”
It's to be expected when a family is so small. Mine isn't much larger and I imagine at some point, my heirs will have a similar funk.
Yep... sad. Life isn't fair is it?


Only_one_14 51F  
1653 posts
9/3/2020 10:11 pm

Hugs for you! Sounds like your family is wonderful.. You have very special angels watching over you!

β€œWomen have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.” ~ Oscar Wilde


jolielaide 49F  
1471 posts
9/3/2020 11:05 pm

wow, time does not always heal every wound. this has me gutted. i feel your loss. i know it's not the same as having your loved ones with you, but i also feel grateful that you have such uniquely special memories to think of and those made me smile. i hope they made you smile too.

thank you for sharing.


author51 57F  
102614 posts
9/3/2020 11:59 pm

    Quoting jajo696:
    Ive posted here before about my family and how alone and orphaned i feel.

    Today is my dads birthday, he passed more than 30 years ago, was a hard working blue collar steel machinist. I remember his working second shift, so when i came home from school he was gone, and when he came home from work, i was asleep. The weekends were our times...driving to the ocean....driving to the stables ( he loved horses), him sneaking me in to the race tracks, when i was too young to legally be there, him flooding a spot in the back yard for ice skating, going to the drive in and always wondering how i wound up in my bed the next morning. Of course there are some not so wonderful memories too, but therein lies my funk...there is noone left to say, " remember when ? " We were a family of four....and he, mom and brother have all passed on. A close knit, ride or die family of four. They were all Virgos, all born within a week of each other in September. And they all died in the month of March ( my March Madness blog ), they are together....celebrating their days of birth. I miss them immensely.
    Hence my funk .....
    Happy Heavenly Day of Birth Dad. Thank you for life...love ....and the memories! I Love You ~~
Truly sorry to hear of your losses..My thoughts and prayers are with you and missing your loved ones....

One can never have enough JOY in their life...


mamacita38dd 42F
56539 posts
9/4/2020 12:54 am

Big hug my friend it's doesn't matter how recent or long ago it was, it still hurts πŸ˜” when loved ones pass. Like Only said they are watching over you from heaven and will always be with you in memory and heart. Thank you for sharing this with us, God bless you my friend.

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easyrider4008 64M
1708 posts
9/4/2020 1:09 am

I empathise with how you feel being in a similar position with none of your family around and the lock down it has added a new meaning to it for me.


patnnj2 63M
132 posts
9/4/2020 3:57 am

My best to your dad's birthday. Remember the god times and know that your family is always watching down at you


TicklePlease 52F  
12893 posts
9/4/2020 4:26 am

((hugs)) sometimes a funk just has to run out of steam, there's no "getting better" from the loss of family.


mc_justmc 60M  
6622 posts
9/4/2020 4:45 am

I lost my younger sister 6 yrs ago and I just lost my Dad, I don't think it has really hit me yet, maybe it will when we don't have our Sunday phone call. I can feel my family shrinking now and it's a bad feeling.


merlot5555 64M  
1062 posts
9/4/2020 4:49 am

...family can be so important in many mysterious ways.... and even though gone, they are still with you for all your days...... and apparently, sometimes they come back to visit you for a moment as a dragonfly ..... that's the story in my family....... be safe.... be strong.....


superbjversion2 65F
20918 posts
9/4/2020 4:56 am

While I lost my husband and both parents within a 2 year span, I still have all my siblings. Still, it's a little scary at the top of the family tree, wondering when the next branch will fall.

You have my deepest sympathy for your losses. You're entitled to wallow a while.

Sex is to Fun as Square is to Rectangle


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
9/4/2020 5:12 am

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Wow. That's rather sad. πŸ˜”
    It's to be expected when a family is so small. Mine isn't much larger and I imagine at some point, my heirs will have a similar funk.
    Yep... sad. Life isn't fair is it?
Yep...not fair....and i always knew that and preach that. The loss is inevitable , we have no control.....just gotta keep it moving .......somehow ( sigh ).

Thanks for your thoughts ~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
9/4/2020 5:15 am

    Quoting Only_one_14:
    Hugs for you! Sounds like your family is wonderful.. You have very special angels watching over you!
Thanks Only....i agree, i do have some super duper angels watching over. Thats a wonderful image to hold. Big huggss.... n Thanks ~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
9/4/2020 5:19 am

    Quoting jolielaide:
    wow, time does not always heal every wound. this has me gutted. i feel your loss. i know it's not the same as having your loved ones with you, but i also feel grateful that you have such uniquely special memories to think of and those made me smile. i hope they made you smile too.

    thank you for sharing.
Thanks Jolie.....im not at the point of smiling at the memories yet.....they bring tears at the thought of making no more memories with them. My brain knows that this loss is inevitable as we age...my heart just isnt there yet. Hopefully, with time, ill get there. Thanks for your thoughts ~~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
9/4/2020 5:22 am

    Quoting author51:
    Truly sorry to hear of your losses..My thoughts and prayers are with you and missing your loved ones....
Thanks Joy....i remember reading your post about your dad and the memories. It resonated within. Its interesting how our words are far reaching and touch others. Most times we arent even aware...

Thanks for these thoughts ~~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
9/4/2020 5:24 am

    Quoting mamacita38dd:
    Big hug my friend it's doesn't matter how recent or long ago it was, it still hurts πŸ˜” when loved ones pass. Like Only said they are watching over you from heaven and will always be with you in memory and heart. Thank you for sharing this with us, God bless you my friend.
Much love Mama !! Just " Thanks "


Granny872 68F  
2778 posts
9/4/2020 8:50 am

I too am an 'orphan.' Both parents passed on, only sibling passed on, and husband passed on. It truly is a numbing and eerie place to be, emotionally.

My best to you.

Yep, it's my blog, and the content is not up for a vote or for manipulation. If you don't like the content, just stop reading. Easy peasey.


lust4life59 61F  
835 posts
9/4/2020 11:03 am

I'm lately finding out lately sharing the memories make them more sweet, rather than bittersweet. With my child, it's about the most important thing I can pass on to her. hugs


sexysixties2 72F  
39202 posts
9/7/2020 1:56 pm

I'm so sorry to hear of your loneliness. My parents are long gone too but I still have my older brothers...they don't live in Ireland but we talk on the phone a lot. I shall miss them if they go first. Huge hugs.

"Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age."

~~Anais Nin~~


easy_going2014 53M
14070 posts
9/26/2020 9:51 pm

Hi jajo696

I feel the pain and the love

thanks for sharing

be safe

Barbra Streisand - "The Way We Were"

Memories light the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories of the way we were
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were

To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/4/2020 3:35 am

    Quoting easyrider4008:
    I empathise with how you feel being in a similar position with none of your family around and the lock down it has added a new meaning to it for me.
Another month now....we made it thru. I am sorry for your losses too....and yes ur right...with us being sequestered it all hits differently. Next up...the holidays ( sigh ).

Thanks for your comments ~~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/4/2020 3:37 am

    Quoting patnnj2:
    My best to your dad's birthday. Remember the god times and know that your family is always watching down at you
Thank you so much....All of their birthdays are now over. Its a new month...time to refresh and renew....before the holidays hit.

Thanks for your thoughts ~~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/4/2020 3:40 am

    Quoting TicklePlease:
    ((hugs)) sometimes a funk just has to run out of steam, there's no "getting better" from the loss of family.
Thanks tickle...ur right....there is noooo getting over...and its just gotta run its course. New month here...i made it thru. Time to refresh n renew before the holidays hit. Thanks for your comments and especially that hug.....virtual of course...cuzza this darn pandemic..thing. ugh !! lol


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/4/2020 3:46 am

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    I lost my younger sister 6 yrs ago and I just lost my Dad, I don't think it has really hit me yet, maybe it will when we don't have our Sunday phone call. I can feel my family shrinking now and it's a bad feeling.
Ohhhh McJust....im am sooooooo very sorry. Nope it wont all hit for awhile and then it hits when u least expect it. You can be rolling along fine...and then a song..or a scent or a memory stops you in your tracks. Between 2011 and 2017...i lost mom..only sib..and spouse of 42 yrs. The remaining paternal n maternal aunts and 2 best friends. Crazy times and i am still reeling from that trauma. Yet...its a new month.....a moment at time. I advise you....just breathe deeply and be kind to yourself. Huggsss~~~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/4/2020 3:48 am

    Quoting merlot5555:
    ...family can be so important in many mysterious ways.... and even though gone, they are still with you for all your days...... and apparently, sometimes they come back to visit you for a moment as a dragonfly ..... that's the story in my family....... be safe.... be strong.....
Thanks Merlot....a new month here....i made it thru. I am trying for strength and safety always. You too ok....

thanx for your thoughts ~~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/4/2020 3:53 am

    Quoting superbjversion2:
    While I lost my husband and both parents within a 2 year span, I still have all my siblings. Still, it's a little scary at the top of the family tree, wondering when the next branch will fall.

    You have my deepest sympathy for your losses. You're entitled to wallow a while.
It def is scary being at this level....with that protective layer above us being gone. I am it for my daughter...my brother( her uncle ) is gone and her dads last brother passed on Psalm sunday due to Covid. I must remain intact n strong for her. Ive tried to teach her all that i can....its all i can do. Thank you for your thoughts, as always ~~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/4/2020 4:01 am

    Quoting Granny872:
    I too am an 'orphan.' Both parents passed on, only sibling passed on, and husband passed on. It truly is a numbing and eerie place to be, emotionally.

    My best to you.
Ohhhh...Granny. i knew we had this in common. I am sorry for the both of us. Yup numbing is the word...and since i lost the 3 of them within 4 yrs...i couldnt process one before the next happened. Crazy stuff and is why i am still reeling at times. Yet...its a new month and its always a breath at a time for me. Im thinking of you and wish you well girlie. Thanks for your thoughts~~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/4/2020 4:06 am

    Quoting lust4life59:
    I'm lately finding out lately sharing the memories make them more sweet, rather than bittersweet. With my child, it's about the most important thing I can pass on to her. hugs
Lust......me too....im trying to teach my child all that i can, as she will be navigating this world on solo. Trying to lend whatever strength i have left ..to her. Thanks for your thoughts and your hugggs !! Its a new month and always a breath at a time. Stay safe ~~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/4/2020 4:08 am

    Quoting sexysixties2:
    I'm so sorry to hear of your loneliness. My parents are long gone too but I still have my older brothers...they don't live in Ireland but we talk on the phone a lot. I shall miss them if they go first. Huge hugs.
Thanks very much...Sexy. Cherish those brothers of yours....you are Blessed to have em. Huggss~~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/4/2020 4:11 am

    Quoting easy_going2014:
    Hi jajo696

    I feel the pain and the love

    thanks for sharing

    be safe

    Barbra Streisand - "The Way We Were"

    Memories light the corners of my mind
    Misty water-colored memories of the way we were
    Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
    Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were
Thanks for your thoughts Easy...i made it thru, we are now in to a new month. I love the song and the movie The Way we Were.....and i always cry, even before my losses...i always cried. Oh lord...lol. ~~


lunchandconvo 50F
1331 posts
10/9/2020 4:36 am

i am sorry you feel orphaned.

i lost my birth family to death and was adopted at five. i was really close to my dad. when he died i went through an 11 month clinical depression. i don't know why i didn't ask for help sooner. i was regularly seeing a psychiatrist. so i don't remember if i just didn't tell her how badly things were going... but it lifted. and i haven't had a crash until dealing with COVID isolation.

i hope you can find friends to be your new family.
and bask in your memories of love to blanket you when you feel alone.

i don't know if you believe in such things but one day i did a reiki treatment... and my ancestral spirits contacted me to let me know they were gone from this plane but love me eternally. it makes being an orphan a bit less sad for me.


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/10/2020 5:42 am

    Quoting  :

Thank you for this. Just reading it over has brought tears. Between the yrs of 2011 and 2016....i lost them all ( cept dad ) in addition to my last aunts ( both paternal and maternal) 2 very close friends.....and my hubs of 42 years. No wonder i feel alone....no wonder i cry. We had one child...and i thank God everyday that i have her. Despite it all , there is sunlight among those clouds. I am Blessed.
I am sooo very sorry about your parents....both in the same yr. It changes life as you know it forever. Cherish those siblings for as long as you are able ~~ Huggsss !!


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/10/2020 5:48 am

    Quoting lunchandconvo:
    i am sorry you feel orphaned.

    i lost my birth family to death and was adopted at five. i was really close to my dad. when he died i went through an 11 month clinical depression. i don't know why i didn't ask for help sooner. i was regularly seeing a psychiatrist. so i don't remember if i just didn't tell her how badly things were going... but it lifted. and i haven't had a crash until dealing with COVID isolation.

    i hope you can find friends to be your new family.
    and bask in your memories of love to blanket you when you feel alone.

    i don't know if you believe in such things but one day i did a reiki treatment... and my ancestral spirits contacted me to let me know they were gone from this plane but love me eternally. it makes being an orphan a bit less sad for me.
Thanks very much ...Lunchand. You have quite the history of loss as well. im glad you sought professional help as they are or can be so helpful in putting things in perspective.

Yes...this Covid sequester biz is not helping us to shake it off with other distractions /outings/events. This enhances the isolation/loneliness.

I do have a wonderful crew of friends....but havent been hanging with them of late due to this virus thing. Ugh. i am sooooooo ready for it to be...gone !! lol

One of those friends is a reikki practitioner too!!

Thanks for your thoughts ~~


Jules1590 52F
6791 posts
10/10/2020 11:36 am

I read all the comments for some pearls of perspective as I float in and out of a funk myself. How do we make sense or find comfort in what is an inevitable fact of life? There is no replacing our loved ones not being with us any longer but we endeavor to just get used to it.

Sometimes I see people and you can sense the sadness. It never occurred to me that it was loss until I experienced it myself.

I have been working on appreciating each day as it comes and being grateful for good health. Forcing myself to reach out to my friends and my sister more frequently. Talking about our loved ones not only honors there memory, but brings them to closer to us in the moment.

Sending warm hugs of comfort to you my dear. Hang in there.


lighthousecollec 58F  
927 posts
10/22/2020 4:52 pm

I am so sorry for you. My family is just the four of us and in 1993 I lost my dad. We were not close but now it seems like my sister and I are getting there with, mom that is a different story now..


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jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/25/2020 1:53 pm

    Quoting Jules1590:
    I read all the comments for some pearls of perspective as I float in and out of a funk myself. How do we make sense or find comfort in what is an inevitable fact of life? There is no replacing our loved ones not being with us any longer but we endeavor to just get used to it.

    Sometimes I see people and you can sense the sadness. It never occurred to me that it was loss until I experienced it myself.

    I have been working on appreciating each day as it comes and being grateful for good health. Forcing myself to reach out to my friends and my sister more frequently. Talking about our loved ones not only honors there memory, but brings them to closer to us in the moment.

    Sending warm hugs of comfort to you my dear. Hang in there.
Ahhhhh......jules....your flux and my funk. Oh brother...we WILL make it out on the other side. Yes...we will. Im so sorry about your loss and the ensuing flux....but i also think we need to experience the bitter in order to enjoy the sweet. I dont think we can ever make sense or prepare for it....we just move on until the pain and the sense of it becomes less sharp. My motto has been .....a breath at a time.....and as i told you....be kind to yourself. If reaching out to family n friends helps....do it. The talking about it brings me tears....tears of the thought that no more memories will be made. So i tend to talk inwardly and cry privately. We re all doing the best we can , me thinks. Thanks for your words and support. I am sending them right backatcha~~


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/25/2020 2:08 pm

    Quoting lighthousecollec:
    I am so sorry for you. My family is just the four of us and in 1993 I lost my dad. We were not close but now it seems like my sister and I are getting there with, mom that is a different story now..
Oh Light....i know u are having a time with ur mom. It good to know that you and your sis are getting closer, as there may come a time when u need to rely on each other. Thank you for your words....they are appreciated. Much luck to you ~~


ErecTimber 69M
113 posts
10/27/2020 11:01 am

I can feel your pain. Words cannot change what is, but I will leave you with a few to ponder. In every life some rain will fall, we should not allow it to become a flood which overwhelms us. Instead we should dwell on times when the sun shone brightly, in time it will shone again.


jajo696 65F
2530 posts
10/27/2020 2:35 pm

    Quoting ErecTimber:
    I can feel your pain. Words cannot change what is, but I will leave you with a few to ponder. In every life some rain will fall, we should not allow it to become a flood which overwhelms us. Instead we should dwell on times when the sun shone brightly, in time it will shone again.
Yes.....Erec , there is light amongst the clouds. I see the glimmer now n then. We also dont know how sweet things can be without a taste of the bitter. Its the yin/yang of existence. Yep...in time that glimmer will outshine the clouds~~

Thanks for stopping by, thanks for saying and meaning what you said. Thats a rarity nowadays ....


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