[b]Tides of change.[/b]
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Posted:Jun 21, 2006 6:36 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 11:49 pm
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Not to totally ignore my childhood, I'll just give a quick glance into that. I was the neighborhood "leader" being the oldest on the block. But behind the happy, fun loving, caring others knew, was the who was physically abused by a relative sexually. A male relative who had me perform different sexual acts on him from age 6 to age 10. I dealt with it, recovered from it, and now use it to remind people it's never okay to abuse another human. Then after a non-eventful age stage, I joined the army and got sent to Vietnam for a year during the war. Yippee. I obviously made it back and have had no problems associated with it. That's due to not keeping what happened there inside. I've helped other vets deal with their own problems, no matter what war they served in. My 19 year old bride (the first ex) didn't like the idea of staying celibate for me while I was gone and managed to accumulate about 15 lovers during the year I was gone. We divorced and I remarried a year later. That marriage lasted 26 years until I decided that I wasn't going to put up with the mental abuse I received on a regular basis anymore. Why so long? I'm a very patient, forgiving, tolerant man. But the events that happened the last couple of years of our marriage changed my level of tolerance to nil.
During my 20's, 30's, and 40's I experienced many changes in my vocation. I was a truck driver (and again now), a salesperson, a Lutheran Pastor, and a chef. There were other minor jobs to fill in gaps because I hated not working. Mostly now I am a trailer jockey at a distribution center. That entails moving semi trailers around the center from docks to parking spots where the trucks can pick them up. I like it.
I took care of my mother while she had Alzhiemer's until her death 2 years ago. I ended up selling our house to pay her expenses (no insurance) and now live with my brother in his attic. It's not just beams and insulation, it's a nice room. But it's not my own. With this new job I hope by this fall or winter to finally get my own place again after 2 years. Living in what is my bedroom/diningroom/livingroom/kitchen is getting old. And sharing a bathroom with my reclusive brother is not much fun either.
There was a time when I split from the Lutheran Church that I wondered if I should stick around this planet anymore. After some deep soul searching and some serious depression, I finally came to the conclusion that leaving now would cause me to miss the fun to come. Yes, I'm an optimist for the most part. Sometimes pessimistically optimistic, but optimistic none the less.
There are a thousand and one stories of my life, but that's much of it in a nutshell. Right now I am looking forward to coming out of my self proclaimed exile from life and getting back into life. I am 54 but not dead or old. I think like a 30 some year old (only wiser) and feel like a 30 some year old. My parts all still work just fine and are disease free. Okay, my eyesight has dropped from 20/20, but nobody's perfect, right?
Can life begin again at my age? Maybe not begin again, but it sure can improve and get more exciting! There are things I've yet to try, places I've yet to go, and people I've yet to meet. I finally made it to Vegas a few years ago. I waited 50 years to do that and I'm glad I did. I'll be back there again some day. Not just for the casinos, but for the whole area. I spent two days just driving around the whole south of Nevada in the rented convertible in my picture. It is an awesome place to me.
What else is there? We'll see...
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