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Worth Staying Alive For  

hotdreamer1000 61M
9416 posts
5/6/2021 2:16 am

Last Read:
5/25/2021 3:59 am

Worth Staying Alive For


Even just the next glimpse of Holly Willoughby is worth staying alive for!

Someone I know has transformed their life from a feeling of hopelessness to what looks to me like a good measure of serenity and happiness.

My life fluctuates sometimes from discontent, worry, and worst of all lack of enthusiasm, to joy, energy and contentment. I don't suffer these swings to the extent that clinical manic depressives do thank goodness, and I have learned to control it up to a point. I don't beat myself up about bad days, and I get jobs out of the way so I don't have to waste time on them when I feel better! And I do feel better most of the time!

But considering my friend's story made me think: Whatever you stay alive for, make it worth it. Don't waste your time feeling sorry for yourself. Make getting through even the worst of life into a successful stage of your journey. As long as you can think of something to stay alive for, even if all you can think of is being there for someone else, or practising some simple skill, you have a chance to turn it all around.

A long time ago I read of a young man who was about to be shot as a spy after being captured by the Nazis in the war. He was a trout fisherman, and on the other side of the wall where he was to be shot, there was a pretty stream, and in it, a trout was rising. The guns were levelled at him, but he turned his back and leaned over the wall to watch the trout. He wanted to make the best use he could of his last few seconds. The German commander hesitated for a moment in giving the order to fire. He wondered what the young man was doing. And in that moment a car arrived with a general in it. He knew the young man was not a spy but just a pilot who had been shot down, and he gave the order not to fire. The young man was imprisoned, but after the war he lived a long and successful life. He called his life "The Stolen Years."

hotdreamer1000 61M
11960 posts
5/6/2021 2:32 am

When I first wrote this, I used the title "What do you stay alive for?" But as I read it back, I realised this could be taken as a sarcastic jibe, goading someone suicidal into taking their own life. I had the horrible thought that someone might read the title, and without reading the post, might hear a voice in their head to which they had no answer.

So I changed it, because I believe everyone can find a reason to stay alive. But I still find myself wondering - what is it for other people. For some it is for their children, for some it is work, music, nature, people, a loved one. Maybe some people here on the site live for sex. In fact I am sure there was a time when that was my primary focus in life! For me now it is a blend of all kinds of things and sometimes I wonder, is that my problem - there is no one overriding mission? But then I think, life is all about making the most of the chances you do have, and my chances vary from day to day. Variety is good right? Lol.


Mdonson57 60M
432 posts
5/6/2021 3:27 am

Great story

MDonson
Kiik Myonguy


Granny872 68F  
3755 posts
5/6/2021 4:12 am

I would not have had a problem answering the question "what do you stay alive for?" prior to 2020, but I struggle finding a good answer these days.

I don't blame it all on COVID isolation, although I'm convinced isolation has exacerbated my depression.

No, although I do find some pleasure in good weather days, my old motivations and pleasures give me very little solace anymore.

I'm nowhere near suicidal, but rather, living in a kind of hellish limbo where one day is no different than any other, and my presence on this earth seems to be of little significance to anyone else.

Yep, it's my blog, and the content is not up for a vote or for manipulation. I write for myself, it's the cheapest form of therapy. If you don't like the content, just stop reading. Easy peasey.


hotdreamer1000 61M
11960 posts
5/6/2021 4:55 am

    Quoting Granny872:
    I would not have had a problem answering the question "what do you stay alive for?" prior to 2020, but I struggle finding a good answer these days.

    I don't blame it all on COVID isolation, although I'm convinced isolation has exacerbated my depression.

    No, although I do find some pleasure in good weather days, my old motivations and pleasures give me very little solace anymore.

    I'm nowhere near suicidal, but rather, living in a kind of hellish limbo where one day is no different than any other, and my presence on this earth seems to be of little significance to anyone else.
Thank you so much for your comment. I really do understand how you feel. Sometimes on bad days I feel pretty much the same. What never ceases to amaze me is how different I feel on good days, when I realise that it really doesn't matter if my life has no significance, because I can find something to take an interest in, or marvel at in the smallest little thing. But Covid is definitely part of the problem, creating this feeling of the hellish limbo" you describe. I think the only answer is to accept that we ourselves as individuals have got to work hard to find or make something worthwhile - it never really happens all by itself.

I really hope you find something new to stay alive for Granny. (I found it hard to call you "Granny" - you are not old enough for me!)

My mother once said to me, when I was in a heartbroken turmoil: "when you feel like there is no point to anything, do something for someone else - you may be surprised where it will lead." I have never forgotten the wisdom of this. Sometimes if I can't find something I want to do for myself, I try to find something I can do for someone else, even if it is only growing a few extra tomato plants that I can give away or something. It is amazing how much better I feel after doing something to help others, however small. At first it feels just as pointless as everything else, but somehow it takes hold of you, and brings you out of limbo and back to life.


hotdreamer1000 61M
11960 posts
5/6/2021 5:21 am

Thanks Mdonson


WyoCowboy7751 68M
1754 posts
5/6/2021 6:30 am

Directed too this BLOG and also Granny872 ; I turn 68 in just a couple weeks Having a Granddaughter ( age 15 ) & Grandson ( age 8 ) & a Loving Significant Other/Wife , makes My Life ; " Worth Staying Alive For "


flannel_light 58F  
3179 posts
5/6/2021 7:06 am

I do not talk about this part of my past but I was suicidal 5 different times in my life. The last time was when my dad had past and I was working at the Nursing Home and two patients past away on me. Dreppresion take many forms on a person. I have came a long ways since then and today I no longer have those thoughts. I have my grandson and family and that helps me to know people do care and love me.

May the light bring peace into your life.


Paulxx001 64M
19602 posts
5/6/2021 9:46 am

Great positive outlook! 👍 ❗❗😎


hotdreamer1000 61M
11960 posts
5/6/2021 11:34 am

    Quoting WyoCowboy7751:
    Directed too this BLOG and also Granny872 ; I turn 68 in just a couple weeks Having a Granddaughter ( age 15 ) & Grandson ( age 8 ) & a Loving Significant Other/Wife , makes My Life ; " Worth Staying Alive For "
Oh yes, great reasons for staying alive Cowboy - thanks for sharing.


hotdreamer1000 61M
11960 posts
5/6/2021 11:37 am

    Quoting flannel_light:
    I do not talk about this part of my past but I was suicidal 5 different times in my life. The last time was when my dad had past and I was working at the Nursing Home and two patients past away on me. Dreppresion take many forms on a person. I have came a long ways since then and today I no longer have those thoughts. I have my grandson and family and that helps me to know people do care and love me.
Thank you so much for your comment Flannelight, I am sad to hear about your past, but glad you have come a long way since then. Family is a great support, but I always feel we need to live for ourselves somehow aswell.


hotdreamer1000 61M
11960 posts
5/6/2021 11:37 am

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Great positive outlook! 👍 ❗❗😎
Thanks Paulx. Oddly, the post didn't start out as a blog on positive mental outlook, but it just ended up that way having taken on a life of its own!


marysia4u 65F
15403 posts
5/6/2021 4:38 pm

I felt pretty low a few years back. I rang two help lines, both were hopeless. Pulled myself together and got on with life.

I've just made a major decision, which I might do a blog on. It has not only changed my life, but will improve my health. Not felt this happy in a long time.


lindoboy100 58M
23310 posts
5/7/2021 1:52 am

Lovely wee post McDream.......ye're a thinker!

Everyone I've ever known goes through highs and lows, which leads to existential questions.......and this post has some particular pertinence for me at the moment because of some family circumstances. With the benefit of some recent experience, I reckon that life is something to be embraced with every part of our being for as long as we have it, because we don't know how long that will be. Even though times can be difficult, those times will always pass.

Covid and isolation has been difficult for us all too. I keep grasping onto the fact that for me it really hasn't been much more than an inconvenience, albeit a very long one, whereas for others it has been life-shattering.

Like most people I've been unlucky in some significant ways (you don't always make your own luck), and lucky in many other ways. I know that in the grand scheme of things I'm fairly insignificant, but in many small ways I've been lucky enough to have been able to make a difference to many peoples' lives in what is to them significant and positive ways.

Isn't life a thing of wonder?

Pull ma finger.........


hotdreamer1000 61M
11960 posts
5/7/2021 6:01 am

    Quoting marysia4u:
    I felt pretty low a few years back. I rang two help lines, both were hopeless. Pulled myself together and got on with life.

    I've just made a major decision, which I might do a blog on. It has not only changed my life, but will improve my health. Not felt this happy in a long time.


Good news Marisia, I am pleased to hear it, and look forward to reading more.


hotdreamer1000 61M
11960 posts
5/7/2021 6:04 am

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    Lovely wee post McDream.......ye're a thinker!

    Everyone I've ever known goes through highs and lows, which leads to existential questions.......and this post has some particular pertinence for me at the moment because of some family circumstances. With the benefit of some recent experience, I reckon that life is something to be embraced with every part of our being for as long as we have it, because we don't know how long that will be. Even though times can be difficult, those times will always pass.

    Covid and isolation has been difficult for us all too. I keep grasping onto the fact that for me it really hasn't been much more than an inconvenience, albeit a very long one, whereas for others it has been life-shattering.

    Like most people I've been unlucky in some significant ways (you don't always make your own luck), and lucky in many other ways. I know that in the grand scheme of things I'm fairly insignificant, but in many small ways I've been lucky enough to have been able to make a difference to many peoples' lives in what is to them significant and positive ways.

    Isn't life a thing of wonder?
A lovely comment Lindo. I hope whatever those family circumstances are, things turn out how you would hope. Life is indeed a thing of wonder, and that is the thing to remember when it seems as if it is not!


sexysixties2 73F  
39789 posts
5/10/2021 7:44 am

There have been days in the past two years when I have wondered if there was anything worth staying alive for. Living alone during a pandemic which hit slap bang while coping with the aftermath of a daughter's suicide has been very difficult. However, something deep down inside still makes me grateful to see each new day.

I like the story about the pilot...brave man.


"Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age."

~~Anais Nin~~


hotdreamer1000 61M
11960 posts
5/11/2021 2:31 am

    Quoting sexysixties2:
    There have been days in the past two years when I have wondered if there was anything worth staying alive for. Living alone during a pandemic which hit slap bang while coping with the aftermath of a daughter's suicide has been very difficult. However, something deep down inside still makes me grateful to see each new day.

    I like the story about the pilot...brave man.

I am sad to hear that Sexy, but happy that you still have something deep down. I hope it grows and you find more and more things worthwhile from now on.


sweet0necter 47F  
2017 posts
5/24/2021 4:22 pm

I loved your serendipity comment. Thank you for posting and your exactly right about the title. I was kinda backwards not what am I living for but why don't I? I don't because of my kids, grandkids what's next in thier life.. but whats next in mine?


hotdreamer1000 61M
11960 posts
5/25/2021 3:59 am

    Quoting sweet0necter:
    I loved your serendipity comment. Thank you for posting and your exactly right about the title. I was kinda backwards not what am I living for but why don't I? I don't because of my kids, grandkids what's next in thier life.. but whats next in mine?
Hmmm. It's difficult isn't it - I feel like that sometimes too. Plus I don't have any children. But it might not be a good mind set to have.

I sometimes try thinking of life like a good holiday. It takes a while to work out what you want to do, then you have had a great time, some ups and downs, and now there are only a couple of days left. Do you sit in the hotel and worry about going back to work, sad that it is nearly over, or do you get out there and pack in more time doing the things you have enjoyed best, or visiting somewhere new? And then when you get home, yes, you are sad it's over, but you are still really glad you went!


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