Love Can Build a Bridge  

hotdreamer1000 62M
8881 posts
3/22/2021 11:42 am

Last Read:
3/29/2021 10:27 am

Love Can Build a Bridge


Love Can Build a Bridge

I’m not sure Senior Sizzle is the best forum for this, but it is the forum I have got, so here goes:

Recent events all round the world have highlighted inequality, injustice, prejudice and violence. There is a place for Government education and legislation. There is a place for campaigns educating those who don’t want to be prejudiced, but who just haven’t yet seen things from a different point of view. But as in so many cases these days governments and “society” are easy scape-goats, when the real problem is people. It is people who perpetrate violence to one and other. It is people who decide on the words of their hate speech. We are hate's Universal Soldiers.

It is real everyday people who throw their food wrappers in the hedge or dump old motor oil in the river. The fact that doing so is illegal doesn’t stop them, and the same is true of bigger crimes. Apart of course from what we pick up from our parents, what really shapes us growing up is what we learn from the social groups we form. A might have influences that set them on the wrong path. What might change their thinking is the attitude of their friends and colleagues: the censure of their contemporaries and the people they come across in their daily lives. So often instead, the desire of their peers to fit in and be liked, or at least the desire to stay safe saying nothing, allows, or worse, encourages bad behaviour. We are all, each one of us, responsible for that.

The public, (perhaps most particularly the British public - what other public do I really know) is addicted to confrontation. How else can you for the popularity of shows like East Enders and Jerry Springer? Radio hosts openly admit to inciting controversy because it boosts the listening figures. And people want to see it in real life as well as in entertainment. We all know lots of people who enjoy probing their friend’s insecurities in the hope of getting a rise out of them. There is a difference between argument and confrontation, or between friendly banter and belittling someone. When we the sensational newspaper, or enjoy reading social media slanging matches we are like in the playground shouting “fight fight fight,” but we tell ourselves it’s okay, because we are only watching. It’s not okay.

What prompts this behaviour, and why do people allow it? Why do we feed the fact that it is easier to get attention making trouble than making friends? What it is that turns into the people who enjoy breaking things, bringing others down; the people in the song who “get their kicks stomping on a dream?” Deliberate provocation should be as unacceptable as the violence itself: Personal Foul - Roughing the Passer; yard penalty / Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Goading; yard penalty. Why is this accepted as perfect sense in the National Football League, but not in real life?

Misogyny under the guise of humour needs to become as unacceptable in real life as it would be now on prime time tv. Men need to call each other out on this. The friend who still sends round sexist jokes thinking they are funny; your mate on the building site who still wolf whistles at the women walking . The sports guy who thinks it’s a bit<b> weird </font></b>to have a woman on the team.

Next time I hear about someone being racist, sexist or violent, maybe I shouldn’t ask myself “why aren’t there more laws, more police or better lighting?” I should ask who was it who didn’t notice this person becoming twisted in their views when they were young? Who failed to call him out when he made his first questionable statements? Why didn’t the people around him (not his parents or his teachers or his correction officers, but his own contemporaries,) tell him his behaviour would not be tolerated among them?

I also take issue with the current fashion to blame men in general for all these problems. This doesn’t . If we tell young men that the male gender is a problem we take away their self-esteem, their hope for their futures. Some of them will act out. We should give good men the credit for knowing that men and women are different but equal, and give them the confidence to censure their errant contemporaries.

We are all from different backgrounds, races, and genders and of differing viewpoints - sometimes it isn’t easy to understand each other.

Love Can Build a Bridge

As the worm-woman said to the centaur

hotdreamer1000 62M
12409 posts
3/22/2021 11:44 am

Just in case..........

Love Can Build a Bridge

I’m not sure Senior Sizzle is the best forum for this, but it is the forum I have got, so here goes:

Recent events all round the world have highlighted inequality, injustice, prejudice and violence. There is a place for Government education and legislation. There is a place for campaigns educating those who don’t want to be prejudiced, but who just haven’t yet seen things from a different point of view. But as in so many cases these days governments and “society” are easy scape-goats, when the real problem is people. It is people who perpetrate violence to one and other. It is people who decide on the words of their hate speech. We are hate's Universal Soldiers.

It is real everyday people who throw their food wrappers in the hedge or dump old motor oil in the river. The fact that doing so is illegal doesn’t stop them, and the same is true of bigger crimes. Apart of course from what we pick up from our parents, what really shapes us growing up is what we learn from the social groups we form. A kid might have influences that set them on the wrong path. What might change their thinking is the attitude of their friends and colleagues: the censure of their contemporaries and the people they come across in their daily lives. So often instead, the desire of their peers to fit in and be liked, or at least the desire to stay safe by saying nothing, allows, or worse, encourages bad behaviour. We are all, each one of us, responsible for that.

The public, (perhaps most particularly the British public - what other public do I really know) is addicted to confrontation. How else can you account for the popularity of shows like East Enders and Jerry Springer? Radio hosts openly admit to inciting controversy because it boosts the listening figures. And people want to see it in real life as well as in entertainment. We all know lots of people who enjoy probing their friend’s insecurities in the hope of getting a rise out of them. There is a difference between argument and confrontation, or between friendly banter and belittling someone. When we buy the sensational newspaper, or enjoy reading social media slanging matches we are like children in the playground shouting “fight fight fight,” but we tell ourselves it’s okay, because we are only watching. It’s not okay.

What prompts this behaviour, and why do people allow it? Why do we feed the fact that it is easier to get attention by making trouble than by making friends? What it is that turns children into the people who enjoy breaking things, bringing others down; the people in the song who “get their kicks stomping on a dream?” Deliberate provocation should be as unacceptable as the violence itself: Personal Foul - Roughing the Passer; 15 yard penalty / Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Goading; 15 yard penalty. Why is this accepted as perfect sense in the National Football League, but not in real life?

Misogyny under the guise of humour needs to become as unacceptable in real life as it would be now on prime time tv. Men need to call each other out on this. The friend who still sends round sexist jokes thinking they are funny; your mate on the building site who still wolf whistles at the women walking by. The sports guy who thinks it’s a bit weird to have a woman on the team.

Next time I hear about someone being racist, sexist or violent, maybe I shouldn’t ask myself “why aren’t there more laws, more police or better lighting?” I should ask who was it who didn’t notice this person becoming twisted in their views when they were young? Who failed to call him out when he made his first questionable statements? Why didn’t the people around him (not his parents or his teachers or his correction officers, but his own contemporaries,) tell him his behaviour would not be tolerated among them?

I also take issue with the current fashion to blame men in general for all these problems. This doesn’t help. If we tell young men that the male gender is a problem we take away their self-esteem, their hope for their futures. Some of them will act out. We should give good men the credit for knowing that men and women are different but equal, and help give them the confidence to censure their errant contemporaries.

We are all from different backgrounds, races, and genders and of differing viewpoints - sometimes it isn’t easy to understand each other.

Love Can Build a Bridge

As the worm-woman said to the centaur


hippiechick1967 58F
13154 posts
3/22/2021 12:26 pm

I think people learn bad behavior when they are young: many a battling boy I have found that has been hurt and belittled at home. That's not to say girls bear no responsibility, but they tend to become promiscuous while boys tend to fight or destroy things. Then we have the kids who have parents who model bad behavior on a daily basis.

But where are the protesting onlookers? Is everyone expected to be their brother's keeper? I think many turn a blind eye to what's happening. Don't get involved, stay out of it, keep your mouth shut is the mantra. That will have to change in order for change to come about.

Elevate me...


hotdreamer1000 62M
12409 posts
3/22/2021 1:15 pm

    Quoting hippiechick1967:
    I think people learn bad behavior when they are young: many a battling boy I have found that has been hurt and belittled at home. That's not to say girls bear no responsibility, but they tend to become promiscuous while boys tend to fight or destroy things. Then we have the kids who have parents who model bad behavior on a daily basis.

    But where are the protesting onlookers? Is everyone expected to be their brother's keeper? I think many turn a blind eye to what's happening. Don't get involved, stay out of it, keep your mouth shut is the mantra. That will have to change in order for change to come about.
Yes, I agree Hip, and yes, we are all our brother's keeper.


Violette001 50F  
4619 posts
3/22/2021 2:43 pm

In all honesty, i wouldn't at all be offended if a centaur whistled at me! lol

that said -- onlookers don't get involved because there have been many instances where they have been punished (by lawsuits and false accusations) - for getting involved! like the young man who tried to help out a neighbor by watching her young son after school, so she could work -- she took him to court when he moved away and tried to get him to pay child support because he'd become a 'father figure' to the child! The man's own sisters thought he was being heartless for not caring about the child, even though they agreed he didn't owe child support. In what alternate world do these crazy witches live? it boggles the mind!

CA is rife with laws that protect the wrong person. A woman allowed a former neighbor to crash with her for a month while she looked for work and a place to live. After 3 months, she found out there was no way to get that woman out of her house! She couldn't serve an 'eviction notice' because she wasn't renting to her. BUT she could be jailed for forcing her out of her own house because that would be considered endangering someone's life!!!! So -- do you think that lady will ever help another person in need? Will anyone else who's heard her story? Will a man ever offer to help a neighbor out of the kindness of his heart?

It has become harder and harder and harder to be good to your neighbor! I don't know how to break the cycle! we need more worm-women and centaurs to start loving!!

"Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket"
--Author Unknown



lindoboy100 59M  
23969 posts
3/22/2021 4:13 pm

Excellent essay McDream......and you even managed to get fishing bait into it!!

We're having a spate of attacks on bus drivers by gangs of youths at the moment, I keep asking myself 'where are the parents, what are they thinking?'

And then we see our leaders behave badly at every turn yet they get off with hardly a wrist smack.

For me, it's about leading by example, and that's as important with one's peer group as it is at home and in the public eye.

But hey, I'm far from perfect, I just have a very high horse.....


smartasswoman 64F  
35813 posts
3/22/2021 8:58 pm

To be honest, I despair at the number of people who find it easy to hate others.

I'm lucky because there is hardly anybody amongst my family and friends who behaves in a way where I would feel like I had to speak up.

But there has been the occasional situation, maybe a dinner out with a large group of casual acquaintances, where I hear a remark that I can't let go by. Usually I find that quietly saying "Not cool." is enough to make the person think twice about their racist or sexist comments.


hotdreamer1000 62M
12409 posts
3/23/2021 1:12 am

    Quoting Violette001:
    In all honesty, i wouldn't at all be offended if a centaur whistled at me! lol

    that said -- onlookers don't get involved because there have been many instances where they have been punished (by lawsuits and false accusations) - for getting involved! like the young man who tried to help out a neighbor by watching her young son after school, so she could work -- she took him to court when he moved away and tried to get him to pay child support because he'd become a 'father figure' to the child! The man's own sisters thought he was being heartless for not caring about the child, even though they agreed he didn't owe child support. In what alternate world do these crazy witches live? it boggles the mind!

    CA is rife with laws that protect the wrong person. A woman allowed a former neighbor to crash with her for a month while she looked for work and a place to live. After 3 months, she found out there was no way to get that woman out of her house! She couldn't serve an 'eviction notice' because she wasn't renting to her. BUT she could be jailed for forcing her out of her own house because that would be considered endangering someone's life!!!! So -- do you think that lady will ever help another person in need? Will anyone else who's heard her story? Will a man ever offer to help a neighbor out of the kindness of his heart?

    It has become harder and harder and harder to be good to your neighbor! I don't know how to break the cycle! we need more worm-women and centaurs to start loving!!
You make a very good point V, although I think you also strayed a little into other areas of injustice! (Not that I disagree with you - the law is sometimes crazy, but of course it is still the individual creating the problem.)

But although I agree that there is currently a disincentive for onlookers to get involved, (and in many cases they probably shouldn't) I was thinking more about the social circle of the offender offering their correcting view point in general, not onlookers wading in at the scene in the heat of the moment.


hotdreamer1000 62M
12409 posts
3/23/2021 1:17 am

    Quoting  :

Hi there, good to meet you. Yes, I agree, onlookers wading in never helps. This is a good point, and a distinction I should have been clearer about, because both you and Violette have picked up on it.

I was really meaning that these behaviours could be criticised generally within a social circle, not by onlookers at the time. But of course you also make the excellent point that bad kids may tend to gravitate to other bad kids, and get their attitudes reinforced rather than criticised.


hotdreamer1000 62M
12409 posts
3/23/2021 1:18 am

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    Excellent essay McDream......and you even managed to get fishing bait into it!!

    We're having a spate of attacks on bus drivers by gangs of youths at the moment, I keep asking myself 'where are the parents, what are they thinking?'

    And then we see our leaders behave badly at every turn yet they get off with hardly a wrist smack.

    For me, it's about leading by example, and that's as important with one's peer group as it is at home and in the public eye.

    But hey, I'm far from perfect, I just have a very high horse.....
Thanks Lindo. Every little must help in some way. Stay on your horse.


hotdreamer1000 62M
12409 posts
3/23/2021 1:21 am

    Quoting smartasswoman:
    To be honest, I despair at the number of people who find it easy to hate others.

    I'm lucky because there is hardly anybody amongst my family and friends who behaves in a way where I would feel like I had to speak up.

    But there has been the occasional situation, maybe a dinner out with a large group of casual acquaintances, where I hear a remark that I can't let go by. Usually I find that quietly saying "Not cool." is enough to make the person think twice about their racist or sexist comments.
I know what you mean Smarty - I sometimes find myself in despair at what can seems to be the majority rather than the minority. And I could have written your line about being lucky with my family myself.

I don't think, as an Englishman, I could get away with muttering "not cool," lol, but I have been known to say "I can't believe you said that," or something similar to that effect at a dinner party.


lindoboy100 59M  
23969 posts
3/23/2021 3:12 am

Just reading your chat with McSmarty.........I have a pal, one of my best pals, who generally has a heart of gold. Very generous, has a good rye sense of humour, cheeky in the usual scottish way. And yet he's bigotted, despises migrants, and is predisposed to listening to, agreeing with, and spouting, the lies and hatred that comes from the likes of Farage and trump. We haven't actually fallen out, but I'd be ashamed if he ever said anything inappropriate in company - well, he has actually, and I was embarrassed.

He wasn't always like that, I think the proliferation of populism resonates with his earlier years. I've had to keep a bit of distance in the last few years, which is a shame.


hotdreamer1000 62M
12409 posts
3/23/2021 7:11 am

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    Just reading your chat with McSmarty.........I have a pal, one of my best pals, who generally has a heart of gold. Very generous, has a good rye sense of humour, cheeky in the usual scottish way. And yet he's bigotted, despises migrants, and is predisposed to listening to, agreeing with, and spouting, the lies and hatred that comes from the likes of Farage and trump. We haven't actually fallen out, but I'd be ashamed if he ever said anything inappropriate in company - well, he has actually, and I was embarrassed.

    He wasn't always like that, I think the proliferation of populism resonates with his earlier years. I've had to keep a bit of distance in the last few years, which is a shame.
Yes, this chimes with me Lindo. But this really is the nub of my point. You of course have to think about what makes sense for your life, and if this guy no longer matches up as a close friend, you are bound to have to leave a bit of distance. A great shame, but I don't blame you. I have let people drift out of my life like this too.

But, if your friend is ever going to realise he is a bit misguided, people like you need to engage with him and gently point out where you think the people he has been listening to are wrong. I don't mean to imply that you should feel bad if you don't want to bother, that's up to you. But, if you and I don't give these kind of people our side of the view, they become even easier prey to populist hatred, don't they?

I know we are never going to change some people - the ones who actually want to be criminals, the ones who really love a serious punch up. But maybe people like your friend need us, maybe this is a small way people like us really could begin to change the world? This really is exactly what I am talking about.


hotdreamer1000 62M
12409 posts
3/23/2021 7:18 am

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    Just reading your chat with McSmarty.........I have a pal, one of my best pals, who generally has a heart of gold. Very generous, has a good rye sense of humour, cheeky in the usual scottish way. And yet he's bigotted, despises migrants, and is predisposed to listening to, agreeing with, and spouting, the lies and hatred that comes from the likes of Farage and trump. We haven't actually fallen out, but I'd be ashamed if he ever said anything inappropriate in company - well, he has actually, and I was embarrassed.

    He wasn't always like that, I think the proliferation of populism resonates with his earlier years. I've had to keep a bit of distance in the last few years, which is a shame.
Another interesting point McL. You say your friend has said things that made you feel embarrassed. I am often bemused by how much people allow themselves to be embarrassed by association. Okay if you are the parent of a child, you may feel their behaviour reflects on your parenting, fair enough.

But with a friend, ("with a friend you can smile, but with a lover you can hold your head back and really laugh really laugh"......sorry, got sidetracked for moment) surely you can not be held responsible for something crass he might say? Maybe if you sit there and say nothing, then yes. But you can always go with Smarty and grumble a quiet, "not cool" or a "I disagree old boy."

What is the Scottish for "not cool" by the way?


Violette001 50F  
4619 posts
3/23/2021 7:59 am

    Quoting hotdreamer1000:
    You make a very good point V, although I think you also strayed a little into other areas of injustice! (Not that I disagree with you - the law is sometimes crazy, but of course it is still the individual creating the problem.)

    But although I agree that there is currently a disincentive for onlookers to get involved, (and in many cases they probably shouldn't) I was thinking more about the social circle of the offender offering their correcting view point in general, not onlookers wading in at the scene in the heat of the moment.
Hmmm You even catch it when i post a stray comment! my initial response was simply going to be about centaurs and worm-woman and also a scolding for writing things that I wanted to write about! shame on you, Dreamer! lol

But seriously -- zooming in on social circles and onlookers - two different things btw, because when you're in the 'onlooker' scenario - the situation has escalated and getting involved could mean risking your life. When things exploded out of control last year, and i kept hearing stories of helpless people being randomly attacked i wondered what i'd do if i were there. I decided there's no way i could walk away - so i literally called my mother to say goodbye. I told her - if i see a helpless person getting beat up, i WILL get in the fight. She told me i might die. I told her yes, i might. She asked me if i couldn't think of anything else to do? I said i'd probably call the police just before i got into the fight, but other than that, i can't think of anything to do, and i wouldn't expect any OTHER onlooker to throw away their life and help me either! It's just that I couldn't live with myself if someone got hurt on my watch. I don't know who made me the neighborhood watchdog, but i am.

In the case of social settings -- it is related to receptivity, in my experience. For example - i got on very well with ALL of my coworkers and was in a place where i could freely share my observations and insights and experiences so that they would be willing to listen even if their pov was different. But - i didn't have the same degree of receptivity with, say a customer. So, i've held my peace while they spouted their insanities as if their experiences were the only truth. And with my Children -- i can actually get in the pit and wrestle with them with beliefs that we disagree on! We have a foundation of trust that is strong enough that allows us to do that and still come out on the other side with both of us alive and the trust and love still intact.

"Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket"
--Author Unknown



lindoboy100 59M  
23969 posts
3/23/2021 8:18 am

    Quoting hotdreamer1000:
    Yes, this chimes with me Lindo. But this really is the nub of my point. You of course have to think about what makes sense for your life, and if this guy no longer matches up as a close friend, you are bound to have to leave a bit of distance. A great shame, but I don't blame you. I have let people drift out of my life like this too.

    But, if your friend is ever going to realise he is a bit misguided, people like you need to engage with him and gently point out where you think the people he has been listening to are wrong. I don't mean to imply that you should feel bad if you don't want to bother, that's up to you. But, if you and I don't give these kind of people our side of the view, they become even easier prey to populist hatred, don't they?

    I know we are never going to change some people - the ones who actually want to be criminals, the ones who really love a serious punch up. But maybe people like your friend need us, maybe this is a small way people like us really could begin to change the world? This really is exactly what I am talking about.
An excellent point, I should definitely try to calm down when he's getting wound up. I guess I just feel so strongly about the nonsense that some people will spout and still others will believe.

Yes, a very wise person here once told me too that humility in the face of such anger goes some way in its own right to calming things. If I can be a little more measured in my response to it I'm sure that would have a better effect, and do less damage to our friendship.

As for your next point, the most obvious reason for being embarrassed is that I'm concerned that people might wonder why we're such good friends when his words can sometimes be so heinous. Also, for example, we've travelled a bit in the 3rd world, and he has insulted our hosts on more than one occasion by variously refusing their 'disgusting' food, or calling them 'savages' because they've no running water (like it's their fault). I've felt the bemused looks boring into the back of our heads after he's done something like that. That's embarrassing on so many fronts.

Yep, I've tried to remain silent, and I should try to be a little calmer, but sometimes it's not easy. And we've had the conversations many times, calmly and heatedly. I must say though that this chat has given me renewed intent to try to help him see what he's struggling to understand.

Scottish for 'not cool'? Och, it could be any of the following:

Shut it bawheid.
That's a bit shan.
Oot the game.
Hawd yer wheesht.

There are probably 20 different ways it could be said. One thing you would never hear us say is 'I disagree olb boy'!! It would be more like 'shut yer f'n geggy ya radge', followed by a glesca handshake!


hotdreamer1000 62M
12409 posts
3/23/2021 10:02 am

    Quoting Violette001:
    Hmmm You even catch it when i post a stray comment! my initial response was simply going to be about centaurs and worm-woman and also a scolding for writing things that I wanted to write about! shame on you, Dreamer! lol

    But seriously -- zooming in on social circles and onlookers - two different things btw, because when you're in the 'onlooker' scenario - the situation has escalated and getting involved could mean risking your life. When things exploded out of control last year, and i kept hearing stories of helpless people being randomly attacked i wondered what i'd do if i were there. I decided there's no way i could walk away - so i literally called my mother to say goodbye. I told her - if i see a helpless person getting beat up, i WILL get in the fight. She told me i might die. I told her yes, i might. She asked me if i couldn't think of anything else to do? I said i'd probably call the police just before i got into the fight, but other than that, i can't think of anything to do, and i wouldn't expect any OTHER onlooker to throw away their life and help me either! It's just that I couldn't live with myself if someone got hurt on my watch. I don't know who made me the neighborhood watchdog, but i am.

    In the case of social settings -- it is related to receptivity, in my experience. For example - i got on very well with ALL of my coworkers and was in a place where i could freely share my observations and insights and experiences so that they would be willing to listen even if their pov was different. But - i didn't have the same degree of receptivity with, say a customer. So, i've held my peace while they spouted their insanities as if their experiences were the only truth. And with my Children -- i can actually get in the pit and wrestle with them with beliefs that we disagree on! We have a foundation of trust that is strong enough that allows us to do that and still come out on the other side with both of us alive and the trust and love still intact.
yes, I agree. Very different with a customer, lol! And as an onlooker, it might well be a question of what you can live with. With your kids, well, enjoy the wrestling!


hotdreamer1000 62M
12409 posts
3/23/2021 10:04 am

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    An excellent point, I should definitely try to calm down when he's getting wound up. I guess I just feel so strongly about the nonsense that some people will spout and still others will believe.

    Yes, a very wise person here once told me too that humility in the face of such anger goes some way in its own right to calming things. If I can be a little more measured in my response to it I'm sure that would have a better effect, and do less damage to our friendship.

    As for your next point, the most obvious reason for being embarrassed is that I'm concerned that people might wonder why we're such good friends when his words can sometimes be so heinous. Also, for example, we've travelled a bit in the 3rd world, and he has insulted our hosts on more than one occasion by variously refusing their 'disgusting' food, or calling them 'savages' because they've no running water (like it's their fault). I've felt the bemused looks boring into the back of our heads after he's done something like that. That's embarrassing on so many fronts.

    Yep, I've tried to remain silent, and I should try to be a little calmer, but sometimes it's not easy. And we've had the conversations many times, calmly and heatedly. I must say though that this chat has given me renewed intent to try to help him see what he's struggling to understand.

    Scottish for 'not cool'? Och, it could be any of the following:

    Shut it bawheid.
    That's a bit shan.
    Oot the game.
    Hawd yer wheesht.

    There are probably 20 different ways it could be said. One thing you would never hear us say is 'I disagree olb boy'!! It would be more like 'shut yer f'n geggy ya radge', followed by a glesca handshake!
Ha ha! I think I like Hawd yer wheesht the best.


smartasswoman 64F  
35813 posts
3/23/2021 12:00 pm

Thank you for this post, I've now learned several great alternatives to "not cool".

- I can't believe you said that
- I disagree, old boy
- Hawd yer wheest

The second two would be great if said in a faux English or Scottish accent.


hotdreamer1000 62M
12409 posts
3/23/2021 2:21 pm

    Quoting smartasswoman:
    Thank you for this post, I've now learned several great alternatives to "not cool".

    - I can't believe you said that
    - I disagree, old boy
    - Hawd yer wheest

    The second two would be great if said in a faux English or Scottish accent.
Ha ha, so glad you are learning the lingo!


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