My Musings
Ramblings from a rambling man
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Posted:Oct 18, 2021 2:06 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2021 4:36 pm

Realizing that when someone is upset; it is not a personal attack against me has been absolutely the most difficult life lesson that I've had learn so far. When someone says they're upset, what they're really saying is: 'Please help me not be upset with you'. They are putting their feelings out in the open and are truly vulnerable in that situation. The best response is: 'I'm sorry hear you're feeling that way and that you're upset with them too. What's going on?'. The worst things you can say are to belittle their feelings or to lash out at them.

Feelings themselves are neither good nor bad. They just are and there is nothing we can do about them. And trying repress or not express them can do real harm our mental health. It's how we act and express what we're feeling that can make or break our relationships

Honesty begins with ourselves… and being honest and open about our feelings is good place start. We cannot be afraid of our feelings and need safe environments express them. Relationships where we are free express those feelings without fear of reprisals will be the strongest. Along with being open and honest with what's going on in our lives with both ourselves first and then others.
Posted:Oct 7, 2021 2:58 pm
Last Updated:Oct 8, 2021 12:45 pm

Long ago in a land not so far away… were magic boxes. At first were a few select individuals were fortunate enough poses one of these amazing things. And they were mounted proudly on people's walls for all their friends envy. Soon, more and more people began acquire them. These miraculous boxes would allow someone speak into them and a person far across town could hear what they said.

Looking back at my Lost in Translation blog post, seems eerily prophetic when I reread . And things seem be getting even worse. Many find actually talking on a phone be a taboo they should avoid at all costs. And while in the hustle and bustle of the modern world, this affords us much more time, also diminishes our ability truly communicate with others. We're all guilty of half reading a and firing off a reply that enflames the sender because we didn't take the time understand what they originally said. Or the sender themselves (often through the fault of spell correct) ends up sending a that could be so easily misconstrued.

The remedy for this is simple if you're interested in forging a relationship with someone. Spend time actually talking on the phone with them. Or better yet, face face. You will be amazed at how much is able be conveyed through voice inflection. And misunderstandings are able be quickly remedied before they turn into trolling flame wars. And facial expressions may serve to add yet another dimension to communication that can promote deep and meaningful understanding of each other.

We need to break the cycle of phone taboo before we are able to truely build up a fledgling relationship.
Stop Ruining This for the Rest of Us
Posted:Apr 30, 2009 10:22 am
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2021 2:22 pm

OH yea, I said it. And I'm talking to those 99% of you men out there. And to the one tenth of one percent who are not like these snakes (myself included) I apologize in advance. But those that I am talking to know who they are. You probably get bitched out on a regular basis even for doing the same thing over and over again.

The men on this site are making me so mad I could spit. (Stop that one too while you're working on your bad habits). Not to mention completely and shame you've imparted on me for simply being a member of the male species.

But I know you guys. You've no shame whatsoever. But what your doing is really ruining this site for everyone. I can't even imagine being a woman on this site. No wonder they're all so jaded. You're clogging up every woman's mail box with your feeble attempts to get on to the next conquest. You don't bother to read a damn thing they've said about how they don't want you to bother them if you're only looking for a one night stand. But what do you continue to do? You figure that you're God's gift to women and if they must be talking about every other guy out there because if these women would just get with me they would see. Well guess what guys? Your childishness arrogance are not helping to get you laid.

One man I truly do like and is probably in the one tenth of one percent of guys worth having a conversation with was Albert Einstein. And his definition of insanity is:

doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Guess that pretty much covers it right there.

So gentlemen, and I use that term extremely loosely. Be nice and STOP BEING INSANE!!! Of course I do realize that with most of you guys that's like asking the leopard to change his spots. But if just a few of us would try more it would certainly make things go a whole lot smoother here.
1 comment
Lost in Translation
Posted:Apr 26, 2009 4:02 pm
Last Updated:Oct 7, 2021 2:48 pm

Now I know for sure that it truly has been a very long time since I've been in the dating game. I remembered something I had managed completely forget about until now. No doubt it was a memory I had repressed until faced with a similar situation. You see I have a very strong dislike of trying get know someone through e-mails and IMs. The levels of frustration I achieve would rival the peaks of the Alps. At first blush everyone tells me that it's just my age and that I need 'step the technology of the new millennium pops'. But I know for a fact that this is not true because I was one the ones that helped build the technology that's defining their information age. I've been programming computers since the day Radio Shack placed this goofy looking gray keyboard things with the letters 'TRS-80' stamped boldly on the top of it into the windows of their stores.

No, I know for sure that I'm not a technophobe in anyone's wildest imagination or parallel dimension for that matter. Hell I've written whole e- and IM systems so it's not that I'm somehow afraid or unfamiliar with the technology. No there must be some other explanation for my disdain for these textually based forms of communication. The answer is that something gets lost that raises my ire so much. sure I know what you're thinking. It's digital... there can't be any loss. You type a sentence in and it comes out perfectly replicated the other side. What could possibly be getting lost?

Before the days of instant communication, people used something that would be considered very strange by modern standards. You see they actually stepped out of their houses and did something that seems scare the hell out of every Blackberry addict in the world. Believe it or not people would actually talk with their neighbors in person and face face. Truly an amazing phenomenon and a very interesting sight see I'm sure. These people would actually walk right each other and just begin conversing for no apparent reason at times. And the strangest things happen when our fore bearers would talk each other in person. They would actually get read each others facial expressions. What's more there is another side effect of this truly alien form of communication that seems have been lost the ages. You see when you can hear someone's actual voice there are subtle yet understandable changes in the pitch, tone and cadence of that persons voice that are emitted during the normal course of conversation. These 'inflections' they were called can be used help convey a person's meaning when they are saying something. Way back in the last millennium, this is how people would know if the person they were talking with was being sarcastic, or trying be funny or if they were completely serious about the subject matter. This is what has been lost among a whole host of other side effects that were highly beneficial promoting effective communication between peoples.

This has been Cuddle Buddie for the History Channel saying so long and I thank you for joining us week.

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Most Recent Comments by Others

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PHONE TABOO (3)author51
Oct 8, 2021 1:28 am
Stop Ruining This for the Rest of Us (1)MamaDragon
Apr 30, 2009 12:12 pm