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Once in a Blue Moon
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Best Toast Of The Night
Posted:Nov 23, 2021 6:13 am
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2021 2:40 am

John O'reilly hoisted his beer and said "Here's to spending the rest of my life between the legs of my wife !"

That won him top prize at the pub for toast of the night. He went home and told his wife, Mary, " I won the prize for the best toast of the night".

She said, "Oh that's great !, and what was the toast ?"

He said, "Here's to spending the rest of my life sitting in church next to my wife."

"Oh that is very nice indeed John", Mary said

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, " John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She nodded and said, "Yes, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

The Blonde And The Body Builder
Posted:Nov 21, 2021 7:19 am
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2021 4:30 am

A 21 year old blond met a large, powerfully built body builder at the bar.After a number of drinks they agree go back his place.

The body builder takes off his shirt, and while doing so, he exclaims "Boom !"

The Blonde exclaims "What a great chest you have !"

He tells her "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby !"

Then he rips off his pants and once again, yelling ,"Boom !"

The blonde is impressed and and says "My, what massive calves you have !"

The body builder tells her "That's 100 pounds of dynamite, baby !"

He then rips off his underwear and exclaims "Boom !"

The blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his cloths back on and chases after her. He catches with her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies, "I don't want be around that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was !"

Beep Beep
Posted:Nov 17, 2021 11:29 am
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2021 3:19 am

Ron is a 67 year old man from Arizona who would ride his bicycle to his brother's house every weekend. It usually took him 2 hours, and he always made it by there by 2 PM.

One day he was feeling especially frisky, and decided he'd try to make the ride in just 1 hour. With a determined grin, he put on his helmet and started pedaling.

30 minutes later, he collapsed from exhaustion while going up a hill. While sitting there, a Corvette pulls up and asks him if he needs a ride.

Ron looks at his watch and sees that he would be late otherwise, but there is already a passenger in the car.

Ron says, "Thanks for the offer, but how am I supposed to get a ride if there's no seat left in the car?"

"No problem,"says the man in the Corvette, I've got a rope in the back. We'll tie your bike to the back bumper and you can ride. It'll be a bit windy for you but I'm sure we can make it work."

Ron thinks that this doesn't exactly sound safe, but he doesn't want to be late, so he agrees to the solution.

They take off and the driver yells back, "Just yell 'beep beep' if I'm going too fast."

Ron gives a thumbs up and off they go.

For the first 5 miles, everything goes fine. Suddenly, a Ferrari blows past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette takes off to race him, pedal to the metal.

A short distance down the road, both of the cars are by now going well over 120 mph and blow past a police speed trap.

With wide eyes, the police officer notes the speeds from his radar and radios his colleagues.

"Hey guys, the weirdest thing just happened to . A Ferrari and a Corvette just blew past at over 120 mph on Main Street."

"What's so weird about that?'" asks the other cop.

The cop replies, "There was this old guy on a bike behind them screaming 'BEEP BEEP' and trying to pass !"

I found it funny anyway....
Posted:Nov 14, 2021 8:52 am
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2021 4:26 am

A man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick his check

He marched to the counter and said, "Hi You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. And really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing"

The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful . You'll have drive around in his 20 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply of your clothes."

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected the her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment satisfy her urges as the is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bull-shittin'"

The social worker said "Yeah, well.. You started it"

Posted:Sep 4, 2021 4:17 am
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2021 7:32 am

There always comes a time when you just have to walk away shaking your head
Coming back from a fling
Posted:Aug 27, 2021 5:51 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2021 6:04 am
When you come back from a fling find a wheel lock on your ride, here is the cure

Meanwhile, flashing back the fling :

♫ Singing doo-wah ditty-ditty-dum ditty-doo ♫

Senior Sizzle Blogs Mobile ?
Posted:Aug 25, 2021 7:59 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2021 6:06 am
How many of you use mobile phones to access this site ? I was just wondering. Myself, for years and years never trusted mobile phones on the internet other than accessing Google Maps while out and about in the motor home. I am so aware of systems and code, that I see them as so easy to hack. Example, while out in public I can find someone's phone with mine and make it do things like blair out obcenities real loud, not stop ringing at full volume and so forth (the list goes on and on, like I can read your text messages etc.. while we are within the same bluetooth range or on the same wifi network). But that was with my old android platform phone from 2013. I trust phones more since updating to newer phones in July of this year. No I never sat and played games on my new phone, I explored the new technology and security within new versions for hours and hours (ok days and days, weeks and weeks). Basically still not done but I will say that the new versions of android are more secure so I am trusting internet use of phones more these days. One place that I won't trust that went bye-bye right away was the facey place and their messenger apps from my phone. No way will I use those invading places on mobile. Bad enough what I see going through my pc's from that social media place.... audience based add sharing not only allowing you data to be shared and uploaded from 80 plus places but also thrid party ads places from 80 plus pplaces on your friends devices that facebook allows your data to be downloded form as 3rd party advertizers... wudda scam mess that is just on pc even if you go through and block all the places or not allow them to upload you to lists. They constantly add more and more so you are constantly going through hundreds of places a day in the ad settings disallowing new places that were added to access your data and SHARED yet... facebook is a huge thrid party scammer and selling you out
Anyway since I wandered off topic, conversation with a friend led me to look at Senior Sizzle on mobile... oofta what a trip. I would never open the site while in a public place with my phone just because if anyone viewed my screen from the side and what they would see ! lol. What I was looking for on the mobile version was access to the blogs where I found no way to access them without switching over to the web page version. The mobile version is simply a dating/hookup site with no way to access the blogs or community. I did see 'chat rooms' but that is about it. Many of you are laughing about now because you do access Senior Sizzle's blogs via mobile but it was a new experience for me. I now see why they want to change the blog format, so the blogs will be mobile friendly ? From what I can tell by their little test lately where the format here changed, I understand the objective that they are trying to do. At least blogs were accessable in one manner without going to the web version of the site with that new version that they tried a few weeks back. Still I don't understand how hard it is to roll over the 'community' dropdown to make it mobile friendly and just plain old add it to the front page of the mobile version of the site and be done with it. Web version of the blogs even as they are shouldn't be that tough to add to the mobile version without having to go to the web version to access them is it ?
I hope they get it right without wiping everything out that users have posted on here for years and years or not exposing private photos and posts over the years ! LOL should we pray ?

On another note, I will share something that a friend of mine posted over at another place because it made me laugh

She captioned it " left it at my place...last time when you used it...uh huh..."
I replied to her " Does his need batteries ", asking for a friend"
♫ apology no song lyric at the moment ♫

So do you use mobile to access this place ?

Keep track of the girls !
Posted:Aug 24, 2021 9:25 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2021 6:06 am

♫ You're everythng I hoped for, you're everything I need ♫

3D Hmmmm
Posted:Aug 23, 2021 12:34 pm
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2021 6:08 am
The bad boy :
Honestly I don't like his tactics but, she comes into his room with a breakfast platter. He grows some serious wood while checking out her bum. Not pictured is him grabbing a bottle of sleeping pills later and spiking her coffee. Menwhile a little later on, he brings her the coffee to where she is tanning outside. He offers to give her a massage. Of coarse the sleeping pills take effect and the rest is history. All this for just a hummer ? Hmmmm... I will title the last photo 'if looks could kill' after she wakes up choking on his spent reward

Soooo I just shook my head lol.
A video of this popped up while I was researching a tank game ? yikes

♫ She's got looks to kill ♫ ~Motley Cru

Gramma Knows Best !
Posted:Aug 21, 2021 8:53 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2021 6:09 am
~ I KNOW what gramma wants ~

Status : Porch test complete

♫ alll night long ♫ ~'Shake Me' by Cinderella

♫ a little help from my friends ♫
Posted:Aug 20, 2021 11:48 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2021 6:09 am
Images from some of my private cam chats with good friends over the years

The best of times were had, always good long conversation plus a little fun. Normally my reward for helping fix their pc

♫ I get by with a little help from my friends ♫

How Bad Do You Have It ?
Posted:Aug 17, 2021 7:52 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2021 6:27 am
Chime in with a reply chosen off of this list !

♫ I got a bad case of luvin' you ♫

Here We Go Again
Posted:Aug 13, 2021 5:38 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2021 6:28 am
I read that the fuel the flame again around here.
~ select grade and begin filling ~
If I were the station attendant, I would have given them a free wash after they paid
They must have paid at the pump though

Okayyyyyy since I am not punched in at the gas station, where was I ??
Oh yess ~ I was building a clock but once again I'm short two hands and a face !

Have a good Friday

♫ Push on shove don't mean much ♫ ~ Blue On Black


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