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wishlist We spill of the bar together a bit dishevelled, with a gait reminiscent of a deer, like our limbs are too long and enshrined with underdeveloped muscle, unfamiliar with balance or stride. We talked all night. About actually nothing. Later if anyone asks what we talked about, neither of us would be able to recall a single thing said. You pull a joint out of your pocket, and offer it to , but I demure, never a big cannabis lover. You shrug and light it. “I want to finish Last of Us tonight.” You say, to no one in particular. I my phone. It’s late. I can get a rideshare here probably in minutes and be home in bed in 25. “You can come over if you want” “I’m not a gamer” I say, still looking my phone. You shrug. “We can hate watch YouTube podcasts together” “Ok” I say. We catch a cab and go up to your apartment. You turn on YouTube and make us drinks. We sit and roast various Internet personalities for a while, and you end up making us more drinks. This time, you put my drink down in front of me, and say: “So, do you want to make out?” I shrug. You shrug. Not one time this whole evening has sex between us come up. You haven’t commented on my body, or looks at all, and you don’t really seem to care one way or the other. We watch a bit more YouTube and I say: “Ok, let’s make out.” You lean over and we awkwardly kiss. You’re at a<b> weird </font></b>angle and our heads are int the way of kissing. We break off and both of us laugh. You move closer and we start kissing again. You fumble awkwardly with my bra. It’s a sports bra. I’ve never worn a real bra in my life. You just need to push it up. I push it up over my breasts my shirt. Your hands wrap around my tits, my shirt still down over them. I sit very still. Your hands are , and the feeling of them on my skin makes feel gross. You take your hands off . I relax. You kiss my neck and put my hand in your lap and say: “Are you sure? You don’t have to” “I know” “I’m shit eating pussy... “ we both laugh “And I don’t really like doing it” “Oh thank god”, I breathe, “I thought I was going to have to explain to the millionth person I’m not interested in oral.” We laugh. You lay down and we kiss. I run my hands down your back. You seem different and kinda far away. This is about you, and your pleasure, not mine, and I feel comfortable. You don’t need anything from . You’re just here and I’m here. We quickly remove necessary articles of clothing. “Do you want to put it in your mouth?” You ask. Kind of bashfully. “Ok” I say. I take it into my mouth and it feels kind of familiar even though it’s my first time. I gag a bit and apologize, then continue. You touch my and I up you. You take your cock of my mouth and lay down on the bed. You put a condom on. It feels<b> weird </font></b>and I’m kind of uncomfortable but it’s ok. You don’t say anything. You’re not looking . You enter , and make eye contact with for the first time. “Is this ok?” “Yes” “This isn’t going to take very long” “That’s good” You start pumping. Slowly at first but quickly pick up the pace. Then you’re done. You roll off of me. We lay next to each other for a while. Wordlessly. “Have you ever seen that video of the deer that tries to walk up the slide set to “In The Air Tonight?” “Yes, but I’d watch it again.” I put my clothes back in as you set up your computer again. I’m so happy. |
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