Best compliment ever
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Posted:Jun 4, 2016 11:14 pm
Last Updated:Jun 4, 2016 11:17 pm
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Today is my last day of stay in Europe before I embark on my journey back to Edmonton, Canada where I should land in few days. It is combination of these preparations, last moment weekender trips and as much work in between that has made the pages of this blog bit empty. So much has happened in that last month in Europe, I would have much to update still, but perhaps I will leave details for different posts.
I am leaving on a good high. I do have a ticket back in few months but in my mind I am settling that I will not be back. My kryptonite girl is fighting hard for me to come back, and since she rules my heart, it might be the case.
But there is another girl who just stepped into the picture. I met her on my last trip and we connected right away. We obviously flirted, in fact the entire group I was with was feeding it (we were the only single people there), and strong innuendos were flying even on the first night.
But I wasn't that interested. She is very young, somewhere around 25, not exactly my type that makes me go wild, and I had my sexual fill recently so I fell satiated. In my stage of life I do not need to chase pussy for quantity, I am interested in quality.
But we ended up sleeping together the next day. By that I do not mean sex, just literally we abandoned our beds and moved onto a couch in a living room. At some point I finally asked if she wants to make out. She didn't answer so I proceeded to kissing her. And that is all that happened. While there was no hesitation on her part, I felt something was missing, and I didn't get turned on by the idea. But it was nice gentle kissing in a middle of a casual conversation. As if it happens between every conversation.  I don't know what it was, whether it was lack of that deep rooted sexual connection, if it was me not being in the mood, my mind still being on another woman who was with me recently, who knows. But we slept cuddling, and that was good.
But this girl kept drilling at me, and it broke down my barriers. The more she persisted, the more honoured I actually felt that someone is treating me so nice, is showing obvious interest and constantly hints at some action. So the next night, our last night, I decided to go for it, see if I feel the magic I wanted. We started making out and yes, she got into it fast. Before long I was kissing her all over her body and really enjoying it. It wasn't even the actual sex that was pulling my desire, as much as I was aroused by the idea that I am discovering her body all in the dark, without actually being able to see anything, but only underneath the touch of my fingers and lips. And all in the living room where if someone walked by, would be witnessing some fun.
One of the fun moments when you have a new girl in your arms for a fist time, is that moment when you get to the panties and see what will be the reaction as you attempt to take them off. These came off fast, and I decided to give her my best reward.
My claim to fame and one of my skills I pride myself on is eating pussy. That is one of them. Another is I can fuck for a long time. This combo allows me to rarely have a woman come away from my arms without orgasm. And I love it! I recently orgasmed the hell out of one woman (she told me she dirtied all her panties just thinking about me), but here was a brand new girl, young pretty girl, so here was another new challenge. I could not see absolutely anything, my entire acquaintance of her pussy was through my tongue (and later a finger when going for the finish line).
I gave her my best, she responded with her best. She orgasmed multiple times, and I enjoyed her wriggling body when she could barely handle any more. It was her reaction that followed that is what really made me write about. She was just stunned, and at first all she could muster was to say "oh damn!" which she kept repeating. I knew I did good job, I had that sense of satisfaction when you know you have pleased a woman to such degree, but I could sense more than pleasure, there was almost like disbelief. And she said something strange that I obviously won't know what she meant. She suddenly mentioned to herself "I really have to think this through".
When she cooled down, she told me amazing compliment, the type of words that a man loves to hear if it ever happens. She told me that after what I did, sex will never be the same. And we haven't even fuck yet! Ok, maybe it is not best compliment ever. Best I ever got was my last lover in Canada before I left, and with my dick still in her pussy she told me that I deserve to fuck a lot of women in my life. That was the best compliment during sex ever! But going back to this story, by now I felt pretty cocky, so I told her she was lucky to come across me because I love eating pussy and my pride in it obviously shows, but I told her how much her words stroked my ego, and it is such words that are dream for any man to hear.
She asked me what I wanted. I told her I wanted to fuck her, but she didn't want to. She wasn't ready for that step which I was totally ok with (this entire experience was still so random to me although I did feed enough on her body and her pleasure that I finally was truly turned on by her, feeling that it will be good for our bodies to link together on such intimate level, she fed that desire). So I asked for a blow job and she went for it.
And she was fucking amazing at it! Every man can grade a woman based on blow jobs. Every woman will be graded differently by different guy, all depending on his dick, what he expects, sensitivity level. She was just the right type for my cock. Just gentle enough to bring on the pleasure and making sure that I would not come right away, so that this pleasure could last. Whatever I gave her, she really wanted to respond in kind.
I had that fun full body orgasm. She did a wonderful job. By then I was definitely glad we fooled around that night. I told her how good I though she was, and that such quality must not have come from nowhere, but I probably shouldn't have. I sensed shyness right after that.
Well, the plot thickened. This episode was enough for her to desire more of this magic that she is now actually going to travel with me to another country and spend the last few days with me in Europe before I fly back to Canada. Funny thing, now I am totally turned on by this girl, how she flirts with me, but also that mutual anticipation of more fooling around, and me now wanting to fuck her. I do want to show her that this part can be just as rich and rewarding for her as was the first. But also because I feel flattered by her so much, such a young girl, pretty girl, and kinky girl too. She told me she'd fuck me for sure if I could bring another girl into the action (she knows how open I am to multipartner sex because it was talked about sometime during the weekend). Sigh, that will have to probably remain in the fantasy realm, but I am looking forward to ending my time in Europe with some great time with her. So much nicer than touring the city alone 
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Muse stikes back and another art is born
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Posted:Apr 30, 2016 5:45 pm
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2016 10:56 am
14564 Views
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So that time has some where another art had to be produced for the month. I was pretty excited about this one because it is the first time I did a piece while that person knew about it (maybe she didn't believe me though, but haha, here it is). So it was kind of fun to think I have a "real" model It was my way of saying thank you for her continuous support 
But this has been a busy month, and it is only gonna get busier from now on, so I literally left this work to the last moment possible.
She is quite a force in the blogging world here and the image I picked used to be her signature, so her fans would quickly recognize it. I really liked the image the first time I saw it, but in the end, it was the only one I found that also satisfied my criteria, which is that I want to see a full body. It's nice, how so nonchalantly a naked woman is just sitting across the floor in her house. How life should be, no?
It was in the end a hard picture though. I didn't think it would be, but it took me more than couple hours, much longer than I thought it would, nor that I wanted to spend the time on. The hard part was the hair (feet and hands is a standard that they are always hard). Those blonds! Hard to get, hard to draw! 
But it was a pleasure; I always feel good after doing my drawing. If it wasn't for this blog commitment, I probably would have a hard time persuading myself to do any art. Normally it is always done in the middle of the night though (just like this time).
Unfortunately I forgot that I moved my scanner somewhere else, so I took a photo again of this one, but it kind of turned out well for the image because more light fell to the top of the picture, which is exactly how the shadow is directed in the picture
Hope you like it, and hope beautiful A F F muses keep on coming.
Oh, and here are random samples from the past:
Art Exhibitionist
Another A F F inspired art
A F F Inspired Art Strikes Again
Another A F F inspired drawing
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Do you believe in magic?
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Posted:Apr 25, 2016 5:14 pm
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2016 10:57 pm
15507 Views
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The end of the month is nearing which means more art to be produced soon, but I have promised myself one more post prior to that. But it is exhausting to write after so much work behind computer, and so much writing especially in last few days. But I should persist because this is a story that should have already been told long time ago and I can’t believe it hasn’t been already. Especially since it reads like magic.
This relates to my last big trip to Canary Islands with my friends, about which I already wrote previously in my post Canary Islands Nudist Paradise. In the last few days of our around the island tour, my kryptonite love visited. After my trip to Switzerland, I was not so sure about how I felt about this get together. Indeed, time would show that my instincts were correct, as she delivered news of profound emotional punch that once again sent me reeling. Each time I think there is not much that can unsettle me, but she always finds a way. This time it was news that she is now considering to start the lifestyle which I have been advocating to her for years in the past, but going back to her past boyfriend for yet another round. Furthermore she announced she is planning to move in with him. I will admit that I had hard time coping with sense of jealousy but as always, I recognize this as my own weakness that I can’t shake this woman out of my mind to simply not care. Admittedly I invested too many feelings in the past, and it continues to be frustrating that I still can’t see fully past that, even though I already know that the history that has been presented is no longer acceptable towards any true hope of future healthy loving relationship. It feels corrupted. But then, this probably happens in any relationship. So I never just want to walk away and abandon someone that I truly value, plus that it would seem like an act of punishment which I also do not want to be associated with.
But there was also some incredible moments happening that surpassed any experience I ever had, and truly were in some way life changing because it provided new look on possibilities of life.
This whole trip we were sleeping on beaches, so the faithful day was all about finding a beautiful nook for us to sleep. We drove to a remote corner of the island to discover a place that looked like paradise. As we were setting in for the night (we planned to just sleep under the stars) we decided to party up a bit, and once all feeling good and relaxed, we tried something that I have never tried before, which was a group meditation. I meditate often, so I thought this would be fun to share such an experience. What I was about to experience was out of this world, and from the first instant of closing my eyes.
I was sitting between two girls. The moment I focused on entering my meditative state, in my mind in an instant I saw fire, tons of fire, fire that moved at fast speed, completely overtaking the imagery. There was so much of it, and so persistently, I actually freaked out, and stepped out of meditation. I was confused, not sure what this means. It felt as if I peeked into hell. But everyone was in their meditation, so I decided to man up, go back in, and face whatever I see. Once again, I was instantly enveloped by fire.
But there was more to it. There was also a distinct and rapid movement of energy through my body. It was incredible and not anything I felt like before because it could traverse anywhere. On my own, I can conjure up such a feeling only in my forearms and lower legs. And rarely.
And eventually I figured it out. The fire was the girl next to me to my left. She was very powerful. The moment I would shift my meditative state in her direction, fire would always appear (later it was all in much more manageable form), the fast rapid dance of energy through my body, and another sensation, heat! Shifting my minds direction to her was also accompanied by feeling heat!
I told you this was all like magic!
But how do I know that these experiences were associated with her? Because I was able to shift between her and the other girl, my kryptonite to my right. And what I experienced there was well, just crazy wild! If the fire girl was powerful, she was monotonous in that she was always combined with fire. My krypto woman, it was like going on a wild ride in a videogame. It was fascinating, scary as well, and completely beyond any control. It was like flying fast through a make belief world of pretty colors, rainbows, little stars, just weird but cute childish staff. It went on and on and was like a trance that I could not get out of. I could not control it, not impose any form of my own thinking on it. I could only exit it by shifting to the other woman.
All this time my mind races with excitement and bewilderment because I never knew such connections were possible. Later my girl told me what she was seeing in her mind, and what she described was basically same what I was observing. She was also confused and scared, and told me in her mind she was calling out to me to help her get out of that crazy video game world. Obviously I was just as helpless as she. The fire girl also shared some of her experiences, and also confirmed that curiously, whenever her thoughts wandered in my direction, she felt the heat in her body. I was experiencing what either of these women were experiencing.
But it got even wilder. Eventually their energies would intertwine, and they would invade each other in my minds attention. I do not know if it was like a competition or collaboration, but the effects were beautiful to watch. My girl, she had many identifying features. Rainbows, glittering jewels, bubbles, those were her very frequent images associated with her. Her primary color was green (but she had very rich palette). Fire girl on other hand was primarily just fire, glowing yellow, orange, red.
So to give you example of how they combined, the fire girl would be in my mind, and suddenly all the fires would turn green color. Another one I remember was how the flames entered inside bubbles (and as if they were underwater). Remember, these are just images I would see briefly in my mind while meditating, trying not to think (although that often was hard in my bewildered state I constantly was thinking, what is happening here???)
Later my girl showed off that she too can do anything that fire girl can do. She was able to blast energy to travel through my body as well, produce some heat, alter colors etc. So she was much more versatile, just not as proficient as the fire girl. At one point I though I would try venturing into her mind, by willing it. But I sensed panic from her, crazy intense fear of that, there was like a shriek of desperation and recoil, so I did not persist.
I did focus on the guy too, but he was always one and the same experience, hearing drum music. His was the only auditory experience, and continuously playing drums. His was also unique in that I was able to still experience it while having my eyes open. Very weird. But while all of this was happening, there was also a storm in the distance which also enhanced the experience. At one point, after I frivolously entered his woman, and had unusual intimate experience, when I turned to him, in those drums I heard a roar of rage! It did not last long, it went away fast, but I could sense distinctive displeasure. As if I violated something that was his. Oh and by the way, he later also said that in his meditation all he could hear was drumming music.
This intimate moment was something unusual. At one point as she traveled through my body with energy, zipping fast through arms, torso, legs, suddenly the energy focused on my crotch. I could feel how my crotch was heating up, literally getting warm. At first I got embarrassed because I thought that maybe I am causing this, and somehow I am ruining this experience by bringing the energy in that direction. But then I realized that it was actually a message, and a message was to focus on her, her womb, and when I did, I saw this pattern of flashes, and distinctively felt as if her body was saying that it is ready for a baby! Yep! I somehow felt that very strongly.
There were many other strange moments, so I will just list them out. At one point, the fire girl was giant feeling of sadness. It is the only time where her color changed, to blue (and the flames transformed to something like a wheat field) and there was a very strong feeling of coldness going through my legs. I remember it well because of how surprising and shocking it was compared to all prior experiences. Especially the cold. I felt that somehow I deeply disappointed her with my action.
There was another moment of being scared out of meditation. And that was when I asked myself some question in my mind, and I felt that the mind of the fire girl answered it by sending a signal. I got scared more out of realization that this was probably closest I ever came to telepathic communication. By the way, she later commented that after such experiences, she would imagine we could communicate in such way one day. Hmmmm.
I know that I had this strange warm feeling in my penis again couple other times, and that there might have been some energy transfer that way with the guy. I never admitted it to him because that was just too awkward to mention. It wasn't sexual. There was nothing sexual about the entire experience.
There was one visual distortion. At one point the guy left us. My trance with the girls continued unabated. But I worried suddenly and when I looked down where he was below us, I could see tiny little rainbows around him. At that moment I even just thought, ah, my girl is watching over him and got his back. It was super brief though. But then I decided to see if there could be any around me if this is truly from her. And in my mind I saw thousands and thousands of tiny little rainbows arranged in a crystal like lattice. It looked as if I was cocooned in them. I was shocked to think that so much effort might be made for my benefit.
It was almost at the very end when I knew it was all coming down to an end that I realized that I never investigated myself, and focused on myself. Ah, those women were just too much fun. But I did look. I focused on myself, and saw darkness, like in space, a void. And then a bright star appeared and acted as if it was a light house. I felt like the message is that my power is the power of providing hope. And then something strange happened. I almost panicked, but stayed strong and kept on with the vision. Out of this mostly indescript view of guiding light, suddenly claws, or long razor sharp teeth appeared and like two clasps, they snapped in a provocative warning and retreated. It was obviously unpleasant for me to see that. There is also some dark force in me lurking inside, as if a warning not to double cross this beacon of hope I can provide. Or maybe something even more sinister. I don’t know because that is all I saw.
So all of this is like a make believe stuff. I can’t explain it, I can only share the experience and my feeling of revelation that something much more powerful is possible to achieve if we let our bodies connect. I had such unusual connections before, only once ever in a sexual context with a special magical woman, but this was all on a new level. I had foreshadowing of something magical to come in my dreams right before the trip that I wrote about before in Dream of Manipura.
I know these were transforming experiences for me. I think they might have been on the fire girl too. There was this strong connection between us, in a way somewhat sensual. Soon after we spend a whole day naked together, and I was taking pictures of her. At one point, I loved how she sat down on these sandy rocks, looking like a beautiful queen, with her beautiful breasts and well shaped pussy lips on display in front of me, just calmly sitting there, enjoying the reverie, and I the gorgeous sight of her. Later she was inviting me to visit her in Scotland. I really wanted to but I could also feel that I would desire her, would want to have sex with her, connect with her on that additional level, so I rejected it. It simply could not be done without harming the guy who obviously loves her. Even if they are not officially together, I could never do that to him. Our friendship has only become deeper and deeper (with him). And then, I would hate that feeling of not getting what I would desire if she was not up to it. So it was just better to stay behind and not go in that direction.
But I would love to have sex with both of them!
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Genetic causes of homosexuality, yup, it's being looked at!
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Posted:Apr 15, 2016 5:13 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2016 5:44 pm
15192 Views
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Today I wanted to discuss the emerging science behind the genetic causes of homosexuality. Yes, this is being studied in earnest. Well, instead of saying genetic, the appropriate term would be epigenetic. Epigenetics is still emerging field of science. It has been known of for a long time but until recent times, it was exceedingly difficult to study. Now it is just exceeding expensive And what is epigenetics? It is chemical modification of your DNA, so that additional code information can be added on top of DNA, usually to influence genetic expression. The crazy catch is that now it is known that this chemical modification can also be sometimes inherited. But the details of this type inheritance are still quite shady at the moment. As I said, this is a fascinating field of science that is only just beginning in earnest. And it appears that homosexuality is at least in part driven by epigenetics.
The theory of epigenetic influence on homosexual tendencies was only recently first proposed, in a paper published right at the end of 2012 bye Rice et al. Authors noted that while it is known that homosexuality has a substantial heritability component, no genetic markers among such related individuals were ever found. Believe me, in our day and age, it is not difficult to find correlation between genes and specific trait. You just need to have large enough study population, and I don’t think we’d have a problem finding big enough gay community these days! In addition, there is no sexual preference concordance between identical twins. Identical twins share same DNA, and if specific genes or segments of genome were responsible for sexual preference, identical twins should be exhibiting it to similar effect. But that is not seen. Furthermore, you would think that homosexuality would be selected against in evolution as a fitness-reducing trait (since it can reduce birth rate) but persistently remains common in society.
These authors proposed that androgen-dependent sexual development is influenced by additional factors (epigenetics) so that in XY fetus the male development is boosted (by enhancing sensitivity to androgens levels such as testosterone) while in XX fetus female development is enhanced (by blunting sensitivity to androgens levels). It is this gender characteristics enhancing mechanism that can be carried over across generations as epigenetic markers but influencing different genders, leading to development of homosexuality. So if epigenetic marker that was supposed to be enhancing masculine attributes is actually inherited by a woman, you got yourself a lesbian! Vice versa, if epigenetic marker that was supposed to be enhancing female development, you end up gay. Ok, I am also simplifying it, but you get the idea. Furthermore, this type of epigenetic marker must be of restricted effect, influencing only sexual preference without impacting sexual identity or genitalia development.
The primary reason why authors suggested this because there substantial overlap in circulating androgen levels during the development of either gender, and yet rarely are there observed mistakes in both genitalia and gonad development occurring, which would be expected to be observed more often if the development were to be influenced by variable circulating androgen levels alone.
At the time it was a brilliant and bold theory, but not substantiated by empirical evidence, only a well working model that could explain the previous confusing data on development. Now there is emerging evidence that they were correct. This was demonstrated late last year in a study of once again discordant monozygotic twins, and just as the theory predicted, there was a strong correlation between epigenetic modification of DNA and twin sexual preference! However, I wasn’t able to get the paper, so I am only basing this on the abstract I read.
However, this study had quite small sample size of only 37 pairs of twins, and would need to be reproduced on a much larger scale to get to the bottom of this (pun intended of course). As I said, this work is not cheap!
Interestingly enough, at the same time recently there was another paper published looking into societal acceptance of homosexuality. It turns out that as the genetic concepts of our population grows, so is the tolerance towards homosexuality based on the idea of its genetic causality. So inaccurate concepts of genetics (determinism) associated with a trait that appears not to even be caused by traditional genetic inheritance is bringing wider acceptance of gays. That is because these beliefs tend to produce thinking that if being gay is genetic, it is not subject to one’s choice, and therefore should be accepted. Well, let’s substitute genetic with epigenetic, and I am always for greater tolerance amongst humanity Heck, that is why I started this blog here!
Oh, and by the way, the homosexuality concordance between monozygotic twins is about 20%. In case you wanted know
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The Dream of Fisherman’s Wife
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Posted:Apr 6, 2016 3:06 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2016 12:35 am
15795 Views
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I had a craving to make a visual post and today I have unusual historical treat for you. I wanted to present you with some very specific art of Japanese master woodcut and paintbrush artist of the Edo period, Katsushika Hokusai, considered a father of modern day manga (and in fact he produced multiple volumes of sketches under that same title). Although don’t be surprised if you might know him by another name; he used at least 3o in his life time. Apparently that was the hip thing to do at a time prior to skills of marketing being fully understood
Well, Hokusai might have known a thing or two about marketing after all, because I can guarantee you, you know his art! Also, at one point he won an art competition in front of a Shogun by painting a giant wavy blue line on massive scroll, and chased a chicken down the scroll with its feet dipped in red ink, and presented his piece as autumn leaves floating in a river. Pretty clever if you ask me
And the art you all know about? It is The Great Wave off Kanagawa, one of the most iconic prints of Japan.
But to stay with the theme of the site, today I wanted to present to you Hokusai’s so called shunga art. Shunga literally means spring, and it is different erotic depictions that apparently were immensely popular in Japan with both genders of all classes, as they were considered tokens of good luck. They were even presented to young brides (hence the name?) and served as a form of polite guidance for how to succeed in bed. Oh how customs have changed.
These range from extremely beautiful to extremely exaggerated and even outright bizarre. One such example, titled The Dream of Fisherman’s Wife depicts a woman having sex with a giant octopus, and has become so famous, it has spawned so called “tentacle erotica”. What? You haven’t heard of tentacle erotica? Oh c’mon, even Picasso got in on that action! Ok, I don’t blame you, maybe you are not much into sushi.
But they are vibrant and entertaining to look at, as you can appreciate them for both their explicit content as well as their true artistic merit. And who knows, maybe some can learn a thing or two? I obviously pulled these from the web, so I can’t confirm the authenticity of authorship here for you, but I am sure you get the point. Enjoy!
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Another Pin up girl moment
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Posted:Mar 29, 2016 6:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2016 12:49 am
15825 Views
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Damn, here I am trying to whip up some art as fast as possible because I am so pressed for time, and then I find that my camera app stopped working after windows update. In the end wasted waaaaaaaay more time trying to fix it to take the picture of my drawing than the drawing itself! And didn't fix it yet! Frustration zone has been entered!
As always this comes in the last moment of the month, and I keep telling myself that someday I got to do two pieces of art in a month! Ha, I wonder when that will happen. But at least here is the new entry! A beautiful woman I spotted a while back, and I probably will draw her again. I simply do not have that many models to pick from. Not for lack of them, there are heaps of beautiful women on this site, but I just do not have time to look. Haha, what? There is gotta be something wrong here!
And it's true perhaps. My life is slowly disappearing! I have less and less time for anything, as I am sucked into the black whole of trying to start my own business. Its getting close now, but the complexity of it is overwhelming. True, what I chose to go after is also bit insane in the complexity of knowledge required. More and more hours are being added, and even this blog is fighting for survival (but the fight is on yo!)
I keep telling myself, just be patient, just be patient! The rewards of your labour will come. But I seriously can't believe sometimes how my life has disappeared from what it used to be!
Well, the art is my rare escape, and here is some more from recent past. Till another muse strikes again!
Here comes another masterpiece
Another drawing of AF F babe
New Drawing for You
Another A F F inspired drawing
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Is this girl setting a trap for me?
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Posted:Mar 8, 2016 5:57 am
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2016 6:53 am
17537 Views
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I think I am cursed! In the last couple years strange force is surrounding me, and it seems that all women I begin to be attracted to, they want me, but they want me around in a form of a third party relationship! Usually I am just an emotional filler, delivering the remainder of what their men can never achieve, and I fill in the romantic blanks from the side. Sometimes I enjoy it, and do it quite willingly, happy to see the relationship at hand prosper, but at times, it comes from a source of a woman that I lust after and in that case it becomes a difficult task. This is exactly what happened to me in Switzerland, and in that case I had an opportunity to develop a threesome relationship (and a choice of potential two candidates to pick from! Crazy!) but I axed it instantly from the start, so it was never brought up again.
I have experienced it with the couple I recently travelled with and talked about in my past blogs (although that has evolved strangely, in the end I had entered that relationship as a very close companion, we spent lots of time naked, she has been inviting me to visit her in a different country while they are now separated, and with him we openly joked that we should enter a threesome relationship as that would be the healthiest option for their coexistence, and I am not sure to this day if he was joking or not. She is beautiful, and I would obviously want her, but have so far rebuffed her on account of him. He is a friend and will respect that boundary, until I receive a blessing from him. However, her and I have discussed moving to Asia together and he knows about it. You can read about them in these posts:
Bondage of self righteous possession, Cosmic gift of sex, Canary Islands Nudist Paradise).
Well, it is happening all over again with another girl, and this time it is my niece’s ex-girlfriend (I have previously blogged about her in Stepping into lesbian world, Tears for Valentines, Women's gossip to an extreme). After that traumatic ending to that relationship over a year ago, she is now back into men’s world and when single, we flirt a lot. Actually, even when in relationship, we flirt a lot, and our messages increasingly have undertone of love in them. I will add, that in all of these instances, I do receive tremendous amount of love from these women. But this is getting complicated and confusing! And it starts to remind me of the girl in Switzerland, not knowing what she wants, but afraid to commit to make a move (pas posts about her are Falling in love again and again, Muse Strikes Back, Bittersweet goodbye). I can sense building of love from her for me, from the way she can interact, small little signs how she accents her messages, to more pronounced effects, like the way she introduces me to her friends, or how, probably without fully being aware of it, she brags about what kind of man I am, and what I do.
So, long time ago, in a brief moment, in the most casual manner she has offered me to move in with her in Warsaw. Yep, giant leap forward, massive decision, completely out of nowhere and she sprung that on me in the middle of a conversation in most trivial manner possible, and instantly going with the flow of whatever else we were up to already. Hmmm. I didn’t respond then, and that is because I was already committed to moving in with the girl in Switzerland, and wanted that more. Oh, by the way, Switzerland wants me back and is on my case to move back with her, but this time around I refused. I actually so want to, would want it more than anything in the world, as she is the love of my life, but I do not want the conditions I was subjected to in the past. I was punished for something, and punished severely, and a time has to come where you need to say, sorry girl, I can do everything for you, but it needs to be done in atmosphere of love, care, and respect. By the way, she just responded at this moment to my refusal, but I have not seen it. I know I will pour love in her direction though because she is probably suffering to some degree.
Well, naturally the Warsaw girl must have been hurt by that and quickly moved on, and found herself in a new relationship. After Switzerland, I somehow regretted it, but I focused on cheering her on in her relationship. Since then we revived our friendship, and ever since she found out I am planning to move to Asia, she went nuts. She wants to move with me (yes, there are now two women who want to tag along, but I am not counting on either, and I told them so, just as I did that they both want it. Warsaw girl is for the extra company. The more the merrier she says), and over that issue, there were two attempts of breaking up with her boyfriend, and my offer has been repeated to move in together.
So today I am moving in with her, but I just found out yesterday, yep, she is back with her boyfriend! Don’t get me wrong, I like the guy, and I want to support them, even if it means I won't have access to her (I probably won’t resist flirting with her, and she knows it), and I wonder what is going on. Is this a repeat of me providing emotional fill to a girl who needs two men just to be complete? At first I thought, well, what's the point, cancel this, but then I considered, well, I have already gone through all of this, and at least this time I do not need to be in position of jealousy (because I did not consider her to be my life partner unlike the girl in Switzerland), and I know what to expect. I need to be in another city in a month so that could be my exit point. In the meantime, I can enjoy the presence of this beautiful girl, have fun flirting, and at the same time actually try helping their convoluted relationship.
But it could be more to it than just that! Could this be a ploy for her to use me to end a relationship with him? She perhaps cannot muster enough will power to end the ties of affection or attachment and needs a third party to shear those bonds? I have been in that situation once before, and I already know that I do not want to be play that role either. The girl has to end the relationship of her own accord, otherwise there cannot be a successful start to a new one.
And then there is a third option, and that is that she, like I the girl in Switzerland hinted (and that is only as far as that went), she might want to have two men in a relationship at a same time, in a threesome. That could be my delusional fantasies of sort, there are many signs too that she is not pursuing me either, as she provides the signs of growing attachment of affection. But then she does know of my past to a degree, and she knows I had multiple MFM encounters, and that I am very comfortable with that. In fact, in the past I told her that if she ever has an opportunity, she should go for it because in those instances when the girl didn’t know it was coming and suddenly found herself in one (yes, I had those too), I told her, these girls were absolutely elated to have the experience, and that was actually part of the huge turn on to participate in one, seeing her being so happy in her ecstasy.
One thing I know for sure, that by the end of the month we will either not want to ever live together again, or she will not want me to move out! Her boyfriend better be ready to know what kind of standard he is about to live up to! I will let you know what happens, but for now, I am excited to be around this beautiful woman, and I told her that. When she asked when am I coming, I told her plainly, for you girl, consider it yesterday! Haha, that was yesterday!
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A weird quick impromptu date
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Posted:Mar 6, 2016 3:44 pm
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2016 12:27 am
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The self deprecation of women is absolutely ridiculous! I heard it all hundreds of times before, and I am sure everyone else has, but I am witnessing new levels of absurdity never thought imaginable here in Poland. It appears that self obsession with image is so prevalent, it escapes no community of people, irrespective of what the waistline might be!
Let me tell you, in general, women in Poland are beautiful! Vast majority of them are slender, with beautiful figures, very attractive looking, sharply dressed, just a treat to walk around different cities here. For whatever the reason, the vast majority of women just stay in great shape, and there is a very strict social pressure to fit that mold.
That in itself might not be a good thing already (pressure wise), but my point is that women look beautiful. And yet, I keep hearing the same complains that I would hear in Canada, most often, that I'm too fat, that my figure doesn't look good. And when I hear it from a source of what looks like a drop dead gorgeous woman to me, I wonder what is seriously wrong with our society (and hey, I know that is subjective, but being slender build, I naturally gravitate to slender build women, I know when I hear a brutal exaggeration!) Is this actually encoded in us? Or are women in such lamentable position that they are constantly victimized by the pressure of society (and if you dig deep enough as to why women keep saying these things, men often are the instigators, at least here in Poland. Seriously spoiled brats).
So I went back to Cracow this weekend (seriously pretty city to visit) to do some climbing, and on my way back we picked up another passenger. Usually it is me, 3 other girls (my niece, her new GF and another of their constant sidekicks). And on top of that, we always only pick up women for a ride. The standard joke is that if the girl who is hitching a ride is pretty, she will sit in the middle in the back so I can chat with her. If she's not, I am to have a bout of coughing fit so that one of the girls will sit in the middle. It is our joke, but no coughing fit is ever needed
The girls like it because I am very talkative, I can be straight to the point, and I love to get into deep discussions, so the whole car is entertained when a new passenger arrives because opinions fly about and the ride comes to a seemingly quick end.
Well, this weekend we got an attractive girl, so I started joking around and chatting with her, as usual, emboldened by presence of so many young women. I found out what she was doing which peaked my interest because she works in the marketing company, and I am in the process of building my own web-based business. She was into dancing too, and I love to dance so I was more and more intrigued. Her style is "dance hall" (if you are not familiar with it, check it out, it's pretty sexy). But it didn't take long to figure out that she is very timid, and has a self poor image of herself. Yep, I heard another, ahm, I am struggling with my waistline comments. And seriously, if you looked at this girl, you would salivate over her figure. Great proportions, not skinny, but not even close to chubby, just naturally beautiful full figure. I can guarantee you she would look hot in bed. But this girl was even worse, she really had self esteem issues, and so insecure that this pretty girl was single because she simply thinks men would not find her attractive. Ugh!
As it happens, we got out at the same place and both her and I had to wait for 30 mins, me for my bus to another town, her to meet some dude that was arriving from Warsaw to hang out with her. So we went for quick coffee together. By now we almost had couple hrs together, and we felt pretty comfortable with each other. So I ask about this guy she's gonna see, and what they plan to do that night. Blah blah blah, I ask her, hey are you gonna go for him? You gonna fool around with him tonight? No, she's too shy, she doesn't know how to go about it anyway. I asked what do you mean you don't know how to go about it? you are the woman, which means you are always the one in control, the one who determines if it is a green light for make out time or not. Blush. Oh, I am not sure about this, about that, some more blah blah blah before I get out of her that yes, she would hope for some kissing, but she is not sure if he is into her, and more blah blah. So I tell her, hey, obviously this guy is coming all the way from Warsaw for you, I can guarantee you he wants and fantasizes about some action, no matter what he says. No no no, she would never want to show him her body. I was like WHAT??? So I flipped, and flat out asked her, hey, listen, if I told you I would desire to kiss every piece of your body, because I think you are so pretty, would you let me? NO WAY! I asked why, and let's cut the societal bullshit for a moment that it is not appropriate. If you deep down want to make out with a guy you like, then why not? I would not want you to see how fat I am. I just told her after, girl, you are so dumb if you think like that! And if you can't appreciate your own beauty, and you can't accept it, then at least see your own beauty in his appreciation and happiness when he kisses your body! Go for this guy tonight, go as far as your comfort will allow you, and look deep into his joy, and remember what I said. If you look into him, you will know from his body language how much he enjoys your beauty. She said she never thought of that before (all the while she is putting make up on, just looking more and more fancy by a minute).
I had to run, but my last advice was, hey, make sure you give him a signal that it is ok for him to go for you! But I don't know what to do? Just touch him gently, flirt, break the ice for him in case he is too shy because he thinks you get too many guys anyway, and he might! One last glance at her, I kiss her, tell her, you look beautiful, it was a pleasure to meet you, have fun, and I dart off to catch my only bus of the day!
On the way I catch a final glimpse of her through the window (which I knew it was coming so I thought maybe I should blow her a kiss). She beat me to it, she was on a phone already, but she send this beautiful kiss my way, very sensual, very daring and provocative, with her head slightly arching backwards, as if to bring her lips even just that little closer towards me. Completely not like the girl I was just talking to a moment ago!
Of course prior to all of that I gave her my business card because of my interest in her job. So the question now remains, will I ever hear from her again?
I think not, she probably will be too shy, especially after everything I said! Too bad, I would have loved to go dancing with her!
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The secret power of sexual desire, not for feeble minded!
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Posted:Mar 3, 2016 6:15 pm
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2016 6:41 pm
17380 Views
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"[...] sex influence, from the right source, is more powerful than any substitute of expediency, which may be created by mere reason."
I am reading a very interesting book on how people achieve greatness in life, and wanted to summarize for you how this applies in context of sexuality. The book is called "Think and grow rich" by Napoleon Hill, which summarizes his research of 25 years comparing thousands of people of tremendous greatness with those that typically fail. It was not an ordinary research, as it was initiated by the steel magnate Andrew Carnegie himself, and in the process included interviews with some of the greatest men of the early XX century, including over 500 millionaires! That would be like if you interviewed all of the worlds current billionaires! But this is supposed to be about sexual desire, so let's begin!
The urge of sex is the most powerful stimuli known to mankind, and hence it is the most powerful stimulus to our mind. For that reason, it can be the greatest source of creativity. If harnessed correctly, it can stimulate the mind to higher form of thought, far beyond the regular thinking on the typical lower plane, power that is only attained by people considered to be geniuses. Such people are of very high sexual nature but were able to tap into the power of sexuality to transform their thinking, and achieve pinnacles of greatness through astounding creative imagination, especially if their focus was concentrated on love for a woman. Many men were able to attain greatness in their achievements for reason of love and desire of a particular woman. Likewise, many men, once they have achieved such status, faltered to fall from grace, because they abandoned the source of their original affection.
Napoleon and his inspirational Josephine.
By being able to enter the greater source of creative imagination through use of one's own sexual energy, one's mind can tap into formidable sources of thinking, including ones subconscious, thoughts emanated by others, or what is referred to as the infinite wisdom, the powerful source of all that can be imagined. Examples quoted of such men are George Washington, William Shakespeare, Napoleon Bonaparte, Abraham Lincoln, Oscar Wilde, etc. Considering that the book has been written about a 100 years ago, you would be able to find plenty more examples since, and it would be fun to discover who would be in that select club Any thoughts?
In fact, the author proclaims that this is the distinctive power of all men who have attained great achievements thought entire history: "Sex energy is the creative source of all genii. There never has been, and never will be a great leader, builder, or artist lacking in this driving form of sex." Of course being highly sexed individual does not mean you can be a genius, as this is only achieved if this form of energy is transformed towards novel creative outlet of higher order. Since so few men can transform themselves beyond the mere standard of physical desire, following their basic animalistic urges encoded in us, so few can attain the status of a genius. To escape this pattern requires a tremendous will power, and few ever practice that precious form of art. Rather, the vast majority squander this opportunity, and even use it to further debase their body and mind. In fact, over indulgence in sex can be dangerous as it can corrupt and sicken the mind, its over use being as enormously harmful, as its transformation for greater thinking enormously beneficial.
And here is the interesting part. Men who become geniuses very rarely achieve this status prior to age of forty, and the predominant reason for that is that in younger age that energy is simply dissipated on the physical desire instead of being harnessed for greater purpose, or having amassed the necessary experience of mastering their will power. Majority of geniuses transform their sexual energy in their 30s, often without being aware exactly how this process takes place, but influenced by appropriate alignment of their sexual energy with feelings of love for a particular woman. Men arrive at their full force well into their 40s. And yet, these distinguished individuals can be spotted precisely because of their innate sexual energy that will emanate from them, and impact those around them, from the touch of their hand, the charm of their spoken voice, their graceful natural posture, even the energy of their mere thoughts, or simply the meticulous elegance invested in how they dress themselves to express their sexuality. But your subconscious will tell you first anyway. For geniuses have attained natural expression to them through being properly attuned to love which will be propagated by their eyes, their facial expressions, body language, and our minds are trained to recognize these signs as we naturally want to gravitate to such source of power. When you are in presence of a genius, you will feel it before you see it.
Washington and the Martha of his dreams.
So how do you become a genius you ask? It's deceptively simple! You blend the feelings of love, sex and romance into harmony while removing all destructive emotions from yourself. It is in this process that you can develop a sixth sense which will allow your thoughts to attain higher vibrations whence greater source of infinite wisdom can be tapped into.
And how does this all apply to women? The true source of power of a woman is the ignition of greatness in a man. In fact, a woman is the greatest source of power, because it is she that drives the man to please her, and hence controlling a man. But a smart woman will not try to abuse this relationship but rather propel the man, who wants to appear as a stronger of the two genders, forward towards achieving greatness that will also benefit her, and also through a harmonious mixture of love, romance and sexuality. In fact "[t]he man who does not recognize this important truth deprives himself of the power that has done more to help men achieve success than all other forces combined." I think the same sentence can be written for women.
If you haven't recognized that yet, you are probably not a genius! 
For more book lover geeks, you can also see The birth of Venus
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Here comes another masterpiece
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Posted:Feb 29, 2016 6:32 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2016 5:52 pm
17268 Views
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So it's time for another piece of monthly AF et F pin up muse, and as always, just at the end of the month (actually, bit cheating, here in Europe I am already in March!) This has been crazy busy week and I thought I might not even get to my obligatory pleasure of artistic bout! Luckily, in the midst of the night I persuaded myself to do the deed, and as always, if feels good to bust one out. It's like yoga, eh, I might not be too inspired to start, but once you finish, oh man, you are always glad you did!
This girl I picked today is a real hottie. I think she will be coming back into my future portfolio. I got totally seduced by this picture and it was those great legs that made me wanna go for this drawing. I rarely get excited about the woman in my art (mind focused on work obviously), but this chick, she could pull on the strings of fantasy. And she is from Mongolia! I bet you did not expect that!
And that's what great about women's legs in general, they can be a turn on in many different stages of life You might not care to look at the face, you will spot those great legs, and then whoop, you just got to look at that face!
And I actually tried to look for a picture of a guy but it is completely hopeless! I feel sorry for the ladies here, there was pretty much nothing but dicks, and yeah, some fine fine torsos, but no cool full body pics the way so many women know how to express in their photos. I guess I will have to rely on recommendations one day in the future.
But in the meantime, enjoy this one, and till another muse strikes back!
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The lady with an ermine
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Posted:Feb 18, 2016 1:45 pm
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2016 7:49 am
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Today I treated myself to a stroll through exquisite royal castle grounds of Cracow, in part drawn there to see one of Poland's unusual treasures, and a lesser known painting by Leonardo da Vinci called The Lady with an Ermine (many theories abound as to the ermine symbolism: purity for one, but it was also in the Sforza's coat of arms). It is only one of four paintings of women that Leonardo did in his lifetime, and the portrait has been well established to be that of Cecilia Gallerani, renowned at the time for her beauty and wit. This painting portrays Cecilia at a tender age of 16, circa 1489, when she was already one of the key mistresses of Ludovico Sforza, the Duke of Milan. It was her who in fact invited Leonardo to produce the painting who at the time was employed by Sforza, and incited him to join her gatherings of the finest Milanese intellectuals for philosophical musings. Quite an accomplished girl for a 16 year old! Where was I at that age? Let's not even go there!
While Cecilia was perhaps the most famous and celebrated of the Duke's mistresses, she was also one of many, and while she bore him a , ultimately her fate was sealed when the Duke married a woman of more noble descent in 1491, another barely 15 year old of exquisite beauty and a famous fashionista of the court, Beatrice d'Este who would have none of such competition, and beautiful Cecilia had to move to a separate castle (supposedly the newfound wife did not originally clue in to the situation. Makes you wonder how many mistresses got her own castles that way?). Poor Leonardo had his hands full seemingly with all these affairs as he orchestrated the wedding for his rich patron. These two can be seen in the image below kneeling and facing each other. Looking at him you would wonder what the fuss was all about, but I suppose a guy who was responsible for a bout of renaissance in Milan was bound to get his ways.
She too perhaps died of a broken heart (but really in a birth), as the year she died, yet another mistress, her own lady-in-waiting, Lucrezia Crivelli was giving birth to yet another illegitimate . Banishing Lucrezia from the court did not succeed this time (that's what happens when you mature from plum teens to old age of 21!) to tremendous heartache of the Duke's wife. I wasn't kidding when I said that da Vinci had his hands full, as another of the four women portraits is thought to be that of Lucrezia (although unconfirmed and recently suggested to be perhaps even that of Beatrice instead), La belle ferronnière. For the sake of eternal masterpieces, perhaps it's a shame that even more lovers were not involved.
But as stories of debauchery always end with a good moral, the Duke eventually ended in heaps of military trouble, his kingdom conquered by probably more mistress hungry rulers and he spent nearly last decade of his life rotting away in prison, reminiscing of the women he had, and who remained in the castles taken away from him. There is always a price for everything!
Perhaps it's too bad because if it wasn't for all that warfare, Leonardo da Vinci was commissioned to produce a giant bronze equestrian statue, but instead the metal landed in the cannon production facility. Another reason to make claim to make love and not war! While The Lady with an Ermine was breath taking, Leonardo's most famous piece for his employer was undoubtedly The Last Supper painting over the tomb of Ludovico's father, Francesco Sforza. Who knew that so much artistic connection can be found when seeking female beauty.
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Celebrity breasts!
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Posted:Feb 7, 2016 9:19 am
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2016 2:08 am
18261 Views
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So if you got hooked on the title just to see a bunch of pictures then please proceed directly to the end For the rest of you, this entry looks at the impact of celebrity breast cancer on general public knowledge on such issue. More specifically, it actually looks at scientific analysis of such impact with focus on Angelina Jolie.
Since I had a craving to do a scientific entry again, I thought this would be interesting to share. Everyone has heard of Angelina Jolie highly publicized breast cancer diagnosis and her decision to undergo mastectomy, but probably very few would know that this event has been scientifically studied in great detail.
It has been know for a long time of the celebrity impact in cancer awareness in the regular public if a famous person is diagnosed. This has previously been well documented with Nancy Regan and especially Kylie Minogue. Nancy Regan's decision of mastectomy instead of breast saving surgery had tremendous influence in public's acceptance of such procedure in the 80s, especially in older women. Kylie Minogue's highly publicized diagnosis has lead to a tremendous uptake of prophylactic mammography especially amongst Australian women.
Angelina Jolie announcement was made public on May 13 2013 in the New York Times, that she has been diagnosed with a rare mutation in the BRCA1 gene that confers highly increased risk of both the breast and ovarian cancer. The news was spread like a wildfire around the world. The first scientific paper I will discuss analyzed the media impact of how the story was presented to the public by the elite newspapers in Canada, US and UK.
The vast majority of media portrayed Jolie’s preventive mastectomy as “brave and courageous” (38.8% ), “rational, well-informed, and evidence based,” (22.3% ), or as “empowering, inspiring, and a role model for other women” (12.6% ). This is undoubtedly in part due to the enduring popular celebrity status that Angelina Jolie commands, and is to be applauded (see the figure on the left hand side above). Shockingly, in one case, it was described as “an act of narcissistic and attention-seeking celebrity"! It is hard to imagine the stupidity of such reasoning that a woman would undergo such a procedure to gain fame, especially in a case of one of the most famous women in the world.
Despite a wide variety of topics that have been discussed in association with the news (see the right hand figure above), the article commented that important medical information regarding the rarity of such a diagnosis was not properly documented to the public, and hence a missed opportunity to properly educate women on this important issue. This included some important research facts that indicate prophylactic mastectomy reduces the incidence of subsequent breast cancer by ~90%, although it is not a certain guarantee, and that scientific community is not in full agreement that mastectomy is the best prevention method; other options in appropriate cases may include close monitoring or treatment with medications. Even more importantly is the rarity of BRCA related cancers and its relation to risk assessment.
While 45–85% of women with BRCA1 mutations (these can vary widely depending on the studied population, with Jolie original New York Times article reporting the higher range) and 45% of women with BRCA2 mutations develop breast cancer during their lives (compared with only 12% in the general population), these mutations are fairly rare, and found in less than 10% of breast cancers.
There appears to be a strong merit in the need of properly disseminating this scientific information, and this was demonstrated by the second paper I will discuss. In this article, general public was surveyed for the impact of Jolie announcement on their knowledge on the issue. While a majority was able to recall the risk factor in association with the mutation found in Jolie case, only about 8% could properly identify the risk propensity in the general public (in terms of both the frequency of BRCA mutations found in cancer or the frequency of the women developing breast cancer). Interestingly men were more accurate in answering these questions than women, with women showing a tendency to overestimate. Perhaps this has to do with men's greater preoccupation with breasts (joking), and the general fear of women in relation to breast cancer development. More significant, women with family history of breast cancer tended to be even more inaccurate.
In terms of the story impact on motivating behaviour change (my original interest in the story) 6.6% of women reported having a mammogram and/or encouraging a family member to have a mammogram, 6.4% indicated enhanced knowledge about breast or ovarian cancer from the media, 6.4% reported seeking information about insurance coverage for genetic testing, while 5.8% indicated they talked with relatives about their family history of cancer, overall not as significant impact as would have been desired regarding the importance of the issue and the high awareness of the Angelina Jolie story.
And for those of you who managed to last this long through this post, here is your reward of the famous celebrity breasts discussed here. Sorry if you were hoping that Nancy Regan would be included.
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Another drawing of AF F babe!
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Posted:Jan 30, 2016 4:36 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2016 5:52 pm
18310 Views
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Uff, just in time to end January, here is another drawing in my series of A F and some more F pin up babes. These series is truly having a good run! Well, after my last tough drawing of attempting to take the crazy notion of tackling water in my main theme, I wanted to do something quick and fast, and yet practice my still developing style of using lots of loops as a highlighting method. Haha, what a sentence! It is pretty tough way to draw actually, but effects are still nice, and the bonus is a rapid sketch. This one took under an hour. This was one of the best photos I found so far on this site (I don't spend much time looking for these, only when something really captures my attention, I take note of it. I am running out of my muses though, so more search will be required soon. Oh, and I never see men photos so if there are good hunks one would recommend, please let me know! I do try to go for a whole body image though). And as I was drawing it, I noticed that it might have been an older woman, and what a gorgeous image that was. Truly something to salivate over. Well, I hope the drawing has the same effect! Enjoy and till A double F muse strikes again! ?*
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To link to this blog (Suadelatouch) use [blog Suadelatouch] in your messages.
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