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The Gary Project – Day 1  

SilyconBond 54M
251 posts
1/19/2021 6:40 am

Last Read:
1/20/2021 3:21 am

The Gary Project – Day 1

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SilyconBond 54M
148 posts
1/19/2021 6:40 am

Due to recent events, I’ve got the free time. The biggest annoyance in my life though is a friend I made a couple months ago. The second biggest problem is my nineteen-year-old son. The second problem appears to be smoothing out. It has been six days since his last disturbance, compared to the everyday meltdowns he was having.

Anyway, back to my project. Gary texts me every day, a lot. He can’t stop. I normally just read all of them at the end of the day, but the guy goes through cycles of depression when he doesn’t get timely responses. His job helps somewhat because I receive fewer texts during that time. His time off, however, ugh. It’s strange to me that he can’t concentrate on family or home activities.

His texting bothers me. His presence doesn’t. In fact, I like the guy. Last week Saturday, I went grocery shopping and he was there. I enjoyed my time shopping with him. He was nervous. He is terrible with other people/strangers. If I could train him, he would be unstoppable at work and social engagements.

Saturday, Lying in bed with his wife Susan after we had sex, I told her about my observations about him. Then I asked her if I could train him to be more social and outgoing.

She was confused about my request at first, but I talked her into it.
I asked his wife about what he does away from the house. Then I explained to her that I just wanted to get to know him better. She downloaded his schedule into my cell.

According to her, he had lots of friends in high school, but not a single one now. Made a friend in college, but he died. His coworkers liked him, but don’t want to spend any time with him outside of work. His two daughters don’t like spending time with him, but they have no choice when I am over their house on Saturdays. I find that odd, but I’m going to steer the conversation that way to understand in the future.

I made plans for Monday, be at the gym during the time he was there. I wasn’t sure how he would take it, but I was attempting to build him up, not tear him down. The first day, my intention was to watch, gather insight. If he talked to me like he did in the grocery store, I’d engage in some light banter and small talk.

So I got up early, drove to the gym he goes to, parked next to what looked to be his car, and he was still inside it. He didn’t notice me, kept looking front. I got out, walked around the front of my car, tapped on his driver’s glass with a knuckle. I couldn’t see his face, but he lowered the window. I hadn’t thought that it might be threatening.

I bent down. “Gary…’re crying?” I asked.
“I…what you…gah..I…” He mumbled something.
“Open the other door, and we’ll talk,” I said and walked to the other side of his car and got in.

From years of experience, the first rule, don’t ask why they are upset.

I began the conversation with, “I downloaded this workout app that appears better than my last one.”

I demonstrated it, just to break the ice.
“I’m upset.” He said.
“I can see that. You’re allowed to be upset for as long as you want.” I said.
“Here, read this.” He said and handed me his cell.

I took his cell, read, “This is your mom saying this crap.” I said after reading.
“Yeah.” He said.
“Does she live nearby?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He said.

I scrolled up through his text history, and I got angrier and angrier.
“You need to block this bitch. Block her calls. Refuse to have anything to do with this toxic person.” I said.
“She’s family, I can’t do that.” He said.
“If your family loves and supports you, keep them close. Otherwise, throw them away and don’t regret it. This is child abuse, although you are no longer a child, still abuse though.” I said. What I was feeling though, made me want to go punch this lady in the face. Never met her, but looking at the judgmental texts and backhanded put-downs, she deserved it.

“I just didn’t think of it that way.” He said, paused.

“Your Mom?” He asked.

“Old and mentally handicapped. I still talk to her, but she was hurt emotionally thirty years ago and can’t let it go.” I said.

“Your Dad?” He asked.

“He ignores me, never returns a text or call, calls me about once a year. He was a great Dad growing up though, so was my Mom. Not now. Yours?” I said.

“My Mom was a nag. I think she nagged my Dad to death.” He said.

I laughed, and then he did too.

We shared almost twenty minutes about relationships about our families. He looked to be in a better mood, so I ended the trend with, “We’ll we better go work out. “

“Why are you here so early? Don’t you start work at seven am?” He asked.

“It’s MLK. Off today. Besides, I asked Susan what your schedule would be. Thought we could hang out a little as we did at the grocery store.” I said.

“I’m dreading this workout.” He said.

“I see. You have a plan for it?” I asked.

He reached in the back seat for a spiral notebook, handed it to me. I opened and read the two-page schedule.

“Ugh. This is a three-hour workout. You’ll be sore for a week. How much time do want to spend in the gym each day?” I said.

“I want to lose thirty pounds.” He said defensively.

“That’s doable within a year if you want to stay happy and not be hungry all the time. Diet is more important than gym time for that.” I said.

“What about by summer?” He asked.

I wasn’t sure what to say. Nope, not by summer, unless he starved himself. “Why? You’ll be hungry all the time.” I asked.

“What do you suggest?” He asked.

“This week, just get a baseline, start some cardio, but don’t go full out until you know how you feel after starting slow and low. Get some expert help that tailors a long term plan.” I said.

“What about you? You’re here.” He said.

“I’m not an expert,” I said.

“You said you want to spend time with me. Please.” He said.

“Fine. Give me a pen.” I said. I ripped the pages out of his notebook as he handed me a pen. I wrote down a few lines and handed it back to him.

“That’s it. We’ll go a little longer tomorrow.” I said and got out of the car.
We worked out. Talked a little, left feeling good. I miss the days when I could shower at the gym. Damn Covid.

Baby steps. Four hours until he texted me this time, and then not a single one till after six. I agreed to change the gym time on Tuesday.

( confirmation 502323 )

positively4you 73F  
4605 posts
1/19/2021 7:55 am

Lying in bed with his wife after sex. Cannot imagine why he would be depressed.

author51 59F  
130010 posts
1/19/2021 8:20 am

We all could use a friend and happy you offered him your friendship at a time when he needed one Hun...xoxo

mufdiver69er2 62M  
1951 posts
1/19/2021 1:01 pm

    Quoting positively4you:
    Lying in bed with his wife after sex. Cannot imagine why he would be depressed.
engraving on his tombstone will good deed goes unpunished..

woop woop

SilyconBond 54M
148 posts
1/20/2021 3:19 am

    Quoting positively4you:
    Lying in bed with his wife after sex. Cannot imagine why he would be depressed.
Thank you for the comment.

SilyconBond 54M
148 posts
1/20/2021 3:20 am

    Quoting author51:
    We all could use a friend and happy you offered him your friendship at a time when he needed one Hun...xoxo
This is going to be a longer project than I planned. I did enjoy the time I spent with him. Thank you my Friend.

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