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My worst day this year. RIP Melissa  

SilyconBond 54M
251 posts
7/23/2020 1:28 pm
My worst day this year. RIP Melissa

Freak! It’s hot. Sweated so much it felt like my balls were swimming in my shorts. Reminds of another time.

Never failed. Always needed on the dock load out equipment on either the hottest days, the rainiest days, or the freaking coldest days.

The only good thing about it is the company of the material handlers themselves. I love those guys. Of the twenty still left, I have a good rapport with all of them. The one guy I didn’t like…gone.

Even he wasn’t a bad guy. Personality-wise, friendly, easy talk .

Then, he dropped my part from his forklift. $500,000 in pieces because he wasn’t watching the spotters. So much fucking paperwork recover, and the machine had be down for another days until we got another replacement part.

All is forgiven…got the second part in. machine fixed…

A month goes by…Needed an $8,000,000 replacement for a machine. Unloaded fine, moved fine. Till the end, he had go up a ramp with it and missed the brake and hit the accelerator at the top. Smashed into the side of the building with it. He claimed he got nervous, because of last time. Ugh!

I didn’t yell. I kept my cool. I felt physically sick though. This machine was going to be down another week until I got this part. If it came in the middle of the night…I would be there, on the dock…blah blah blah. My customer believes I am Satan’s when things like this happen.

The incident report. I was so upset that I drank calm down so I could write the fucker. I didn’t get drunk, but how I wanted . Not the best of circumstances get additional bad news.

“Hey…I just wanted call and tell you I can’t see you anymore.” She said.
“I knew this day would come eventually. It’s o” I said calm her, the alcohol had already helped with my nerves.
“Well…Not exactly, I didn’t know it would come. It’s not you, really.” She said and started crying on the phone.
I said, “Women always say that when it really is. Honestly, I’ve had a rough day, but is there anything I can say that would help you feel better? It would make me feel better if I could make you a little happier.”
“I have breast cancer.” She said.
“What?” I asked shocked.
“There’s nothing you can do.” She said.
“I could take you get a second opinion. Maybe bring over some ice cream.“ I said.
“I don’t want you see like this. That’s why I can’t see you anymore.” She said.
“What about email?” I asked.
“Email would be fine.” She said and sounded happier.
“Ok, then. I’ll email you. I won’t try see you.” I said and we said our goodbyes.

So about once a month I would send an email with a video of Baby goats. She loved baby goats. I didn’t pressure see her. After thirteen emails, only twelve happy responses. I suspected, but I didn’t know. I really had no information about how long she had it, or anything else.

Then I got a letter from an insurance company and a chec Very<b> weird. </font></b>I called the number on the letter. I felt like I had been gut-punched.

I drove by her house later. Someone else lives there now. Her is still there, but no activity for many months. No posting of her condition…nothing…

Thanks the internet, I was able track down her aunt. I called her. She had passed, multiple cancers. The funeral was over a month ago.

I have no idea whether I made her life better or worse. A lot of good times for me. A few high drama situations, but we always made up.

Today is her birthday which pisses me off that I got that letter today. I donated the check to “The Rose” charity in her name. I picked it for a stupid reason. “The Rose” by Bette Midler was her favorite song. I have no idea whether they are a good charity or not, and I don’t want to know. I played the song. Yeah, I cried, still crying. She deserved a longer life.

Writing this out, helped me. I’ll be better. Thank you, my friends, for giving me the courage to do so. No comments on this post. I don't want sympathy. I want revenge on the cause of her death. I hate it with every fiber of my being. I'm fighting the anger and the grief on a level I haven't felt since my grandmother passed.

I'll be better tomorrow.

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