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Sacrificing Intimacy  

SexyWhyteSlut 44F  
60 posts
4/16/2021 12:46 pm

Last Read:
12/6/2021 8:57 pm

Sacrificing Intimacy

I have been in the lifestyle 3 years. I have been a BBC Slut for nearly my entire life. was difficult for live a normal life when you have struggle just make tomorrow. I found ways to overcome every obstacle thrown my way. Temporary situations felt more stable than anything being permanent. This made it very easy to let go of any thing/one to prevent it/them from becoming permanent. Sex was my tool, i used it as a form of introduction to form relationships with others, while at the using for an excuse keep the relation at a temporary level. was also used cause an end any relations that gave me discomfort.

I used sex manipulate relationships with hundreds of people, I never noticed the destruction it was actually doing me. I had turned sex into an object, that was shaped as a wall that wall blocked me from forming any kind of personal/emotional relationship with my sex partner. In my eyes, sex was never personal so it held no value to me, on an emotional level. The saddest part of it all is the fact that I had simply done what I did best, I had found a way to tackle a barrier that had been blocking my path. And I survived it, no matter the sacrifice I caused myself to suffer. All the while I was victim to more than a few sacrifices in relation to sex, for me it had always been the hundreds of men/strangers I slept with, making the choice I made hundreds of time to have sex with men excusable, end up victimizing myself even more.

Everything changed 3 years ago, which is why I refer myself as new this lifestyle that I've been in for decades. I met a man was like no other, i felt things for this man, I had never felt at all. I've had sex several thousands of times with hundreds of men that I cant remember.
For 3 years, i have not been able stop thinking about every time I have had sex with this man and how much he means to me.

So I explained this unexplainable feeling i have for this man to a friend. She seemed to understand exactly how i felt, then she said," That sounds like intimacy, its normal to feel those feelings with someone you intimate with, but its<b> weird </font></b>that your trying to explain it as if it were the first time you had been intimate with someone" "...That's when the true sacrifice revealed itself:

"What the hell do you mean SEX is INTIMATE?, Your telling me I should feel
this unexplainable, loving connection when I have SEX?"

WOW, i experienced intimacy for the 1st time at the age of 42....??

SO MUCH SEX
SO MANY MEN
SO MANY TIMES
SO Little REMEMBERED

Then realizing I didn't even like it!!!

SO WHY DID I?
WHY SO MUCH?
WHEN IT DIDNT EVEN FEEL GOOD?.

The fact is, I never would have had all that worthless sex if had knew it's value.




Sexywhyteslut...AKA..SexyWhyteGirl


Apollo602021 61M  

12/2/2021 2:39 pm

You can not please everyone so you might as well please yourself!

Please become an Apollo602021 blog follower!


forgotforgetting 56M
8134 posts
12/2/2021 7:11 am

Intimacy is complex and happens on many levels and in many ways. Physical, emotional, spiritual, and even intellectual intimacy can create a powerful bond. The blend of these forms will vary by person and relationship. I hope you find the best blend for you.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde


Avonsenior 68M
1461 posts
11/6/2021 9:09 pm

I hope you and your friend can build on this intimacy and you both enjoy it for a very long time.
Question were you there providing pleasure for others more so than having them pleasing you? It should be pleasure for both of you


SexyWhyteSlut replies on 11/8/2021 10:39 am:
i was always the one providing the pleasure. whats ironic is now that I find pleaseure in sex, my plesure is derived from pleasing..And no, unfortunetly i no longer see him, so until I find someone I can connect with on the level I did with him I will continue my celibacy.

Leegs2012 49M
96134 posts
10/29/2021 2:04 pm

I have been back and forth in your situation. For me, and this is just my opinion, I have been in love and lust. Falling in love is great, but when you fall out of love that hurts. I have been in love and than been in lust. I swing these days, and I love it. The lust works for me these days. I guess it is because I swing with nice people. I will hold on to this lifestyle for now, but you never know, it's like that song states "Fooled Around and Fell in Love. Great post by you! Thanks for sharing!!


SexyWhyteSlut replies on 10/30/2021 3:03 pm:
Thanks for reading!!

200393235 37M
1 post
6/8/2021 4:34 am

Sex just to be a big thing in my life until I find something I’m very passionate about meet my family that been under or at front for me the idea of being part of it is taking my soul away I spent a lot money I don’t have I insulated my self to focus and learn I play stupid date games just with the illusion that is my family trying to get my attention with something they thought I like the most but at the I got nothing not family time no learn not nothing just humiliated me and playing games for 3 day what I been doing Stan still move slow and listen to all the games and dates sites and everything come from my family but is not love is not dirección is just fake weak test that I already know but I play the game to


SexyWhyteSlut 44F  
15 posts
5/12/2021 12:07 am

[backpocket13]..

Sexywhyteslut...AKA..SexyWhyteGirl


SexyWhyteSlut 44F  
15 posts
5/11/2021 11:38 pm

1. Healing Is A Process – don’t rush it—

“And so I wait. I wait for time to heal the pain and raise me to me feet
once again – so that I can start a new path, my own path, the one that
will make me whole again.” ― Jan Canfield.

Grief doesn’t magically end after a set period of time. It will always remind you in your life where your feelings of loss and pain will return. Time doesn’t heal pain, it makes it easier to handle the pain.

2. Failure is good—

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay,
not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is
something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and
being nothing.” —Denis Waitley.

We try so hard to avoid failure, but failure is the real evidence that we've tried. If you avoid failure, you avoid taking action. Expect and accept that failure is part of the experience. Learn from it and move on. We need to fail in order to achieve better.

3.Don’t Let Your Past Rule Your Life Now And In The Future.

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your
arms too full to embrace the future” —Jan Glidewell.

You can’t ignore or forget your past, it has moulded you into who you are now. Your past is your opportunity to learn the lessons you need in order to deal with your present life.

Let go of your regrets in life, make peace with your past, accept it and move on. You are not what happened in your past, you are whom you choose to be now and in your future.

Become the strong empowered resilient person you desire to be. The person who looks forward the future and is living a happy fulfilled life.

{image}

Sexywhyteslut...AKA..SexyWhyteGirl


benard69 64M/64F  
6298 posts
4/16/2021 4:27 pm

Sad story with hopefully a better ending..


ThickStallion69 33M
22 posts
4/16/2021 3:13 pm

Wow that is stunning, ypure a gem.


SexyWhyteSlut replies on 10/30/2021 3:01 pm:
Thanks!!

BiSussi 61F
1405 posts
4/16/2021 2:53 pm

How wonderful, you let go SEX and entered the world of LOVE MAKING Oh yes, SEX is not intimacy, it is an empty physical act, love making is fullfeeling, lasts much longer than the physical act. When you love a man and he loves you in return Making Babies turns into a much larger dimension, it turns into heaven

Don’t ever return to SEX, stay in heaven

___________________________________________-_____________ __________ _________
All I wish for are men I can fall in love with and who like Making Babies and not just want Sex! After all, when it comes to Virgin, Experienced or Very Tight I have 2 out of 3 to offer

I love pussies and adore nice dicks


Sunalsorises696 42M

4/16/2021 2:44 pm

Good for you


Selektah666 31M

4/16/2021 2:09 pm

Life is life anyway.


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