Newbie Survival 1003
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Posted:Apr 25, 2016 6:04 am
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2016 7:00 pm
3871 Views
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So you have decided to take the plunge and actually meet someone, live and in person. We have only ever met people at dances and parties, as the meets we tried setting up on our own didn't work out, or were no-shows :s, but I am sure the same principles apply. Unless you are into the whole stranger sex thing, first meets should always happen in public. This is more for the single people, but it is better to be safe than sorry  Personal hygiene. OMG, I cannot even believe that this even needs to be discussed nowadays, but apparently it does. If you cannot perform basic hygiene, I am NOT letting you near my lady parts, or ANY of mine or hubby's parts. If the people you are meeting are into the 'natural' thing, I am sure you will have discussed this before hand, if not, err on the side of deodorant and toothpaste. Every LS club/dance have their own particular quirks, but they all have the same basic rules, ask permission before you do anything, no means no, and lets keep the overtly sexual behaviours private. Not everyone in the LS is into the same things, or the same level of "sharing". I guess the best rule of thumb is be respectful. Don't treat anyone in the LS any differently than you would your vanilla friends. I do not find these "rules" onerous, but some people, especially after a few drinks, seem to lose what little common sense they had to begin with. BTW common sense, NOT so common unfortunately  . FYI gentleman, I know this process can be nerve wracking, but liquid courage rarely aids performance issues. I know it happens to everybody, but getting drunk is not going to make you more a more attractive playmate, and this applies to everyone. Some drinks to loosen up and shed some inhibitions is all well and good, but I have no interest in playing with someone, male or female, who has indulged too much Private parties can be a little different, that is all about whatever rules the host/hostess puts in place, but the use of these basic rules for all LS interactions is the sensible/safe thing to do. Speaking of safety, most people in the lifestyle are very upfront about whatever precautions they prefer, but you should always have your own plan, and latex-free is always a good idea 
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Random Thoughts of the Day :) I
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Posted:Apr 23, 2016 8:11 am
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2016 12:07 pm
3566 Views
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I have never dated, per say. I guess you could call me a serial monogamist. I tried to date between my ex-husband and current one. I even used to introduce him to people as my boy toy. One of the reasons I was fooling around with him was because he had never had a relationship longer than 6 months, so I figured I would have a little fun, a lot of FABULOUS sex, then he would move on to the next one. Seeing as we have been together over 18 years, that plan did not exactly work out lmao. Being on this site is, hopefully, as close as I will ever get to online dating, and let me tell you, it has made me infinitely grateful for my hubby  With some notable exceptions, I have not been impressed with the pool of available gentlemen, and I use that term lightly. I have found the men on here to be aggressive, rude, crass, and sometimes downright scary
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Newbie Survival 1002
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Posted:Apr 20, 2016 1:23 pm
Last Updated:Apr 21, 2016 7:15 pm
3297 Views
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So how do you get to know people you say? You could do everything from behind your computer screen, and some of that is really necessary and helpful, but eventually you are going to have to take a chance and leave your house. So lets start online. Depending on what exactly you are looking for, your profile is key. FILL IT OUT! If you will not take the time to fill out your profile, than it gives the impression that you are not actually serious about this. For the single guys, I have yet to meet or chat with a lady who is impressed with a profile with only a dick pic, or no pics at all. I am sure there are some out there that don't care one way or another, but from my limited experience, and personal preference, you need to put a little more effort into it. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with showing what you got, but not as the only pic and/or your profile pic. For those of you worried about "privacy", that throws up a red cheater/fake profile flag every time. Unless you are covered in tattoos that can ID you, there is very little chance that a co-worker will recognize your butt :s For the couples, if all there is on your profile is dick pics that also makes one wonder, especially paired with a lot of "Prefer not to say" on your bio. Do you really prefer not to disclose your hair colour? Of course it is your profile and you can do what you like, this is based upon my preferences and the observations I have made so far. We have only been in the lifestyle for about 8 months at this point, 6 of those on Senior Sizzle, so I am hardly an expert, but we get compliments on our profile pretty much daily, and it has garnered enough attention to earn us a free gold membership for a year after only 3 months, so we must be doing something right
So you have filled out your profile, have taken some naughty, or not, pics and posted them, now what? For us the first month was pretty busy so we just checked out other profiles, sent and answered emails and used IM (when it was working :s). Eventually that will slow down, but don't wait until then, go to your local chatroom as soon as you can. For the most part this is where the "real" people are, and it is a great place to do the networking necessary to take that next step, leaving the house and meeting people. You can do this without the chat room, we did, but that was like a baptism by fire, it definitely would have been easier if we had spent time in the chatroom first, which we did before we tried the other LS clubs/dances in our region. LS clubs are not for everyone, but they are a great way to meet other swingers in a no pressure, no judgement, group setting. If you are not into music, dancing, or large crowds, most clubs also hold periodic coffee meets. Even if you are not a club person, chatrooms can be good way to get some clue about someone you are interested in, or find someone who interests you. Participation is not required, though it is encouraged. In fact there are usually more lurkers than chatters at any given time lol Topics vary, and though it can get naughty, for the most part it is just a bunch of like-minded individuals talking about everyday stuff. You can be uncivil if you choose, but that will just get you "ignored" and defeat the purpose of being in the chat room. But that works both ways, you also have the option to ignore anyone who is being rude etc, you will no longer see anything they post and vice versa. Now it is time to turn off the computer and actually meet some people, next time
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Newbie Survival 1001
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Posted:Apr 19, 2016 5:03 am
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2016 12:11 pm
2933 Views
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So we now had our first LS social event under our belt, literally, and as you can imagine our Senior Sizzle profile garnered a LOT more action than before. At the dance a couple had mentioned that we had declined their request to be their friend. At the time it was more because we were standard members and could not read messages or see profiles, but even today we rarely accept a friend request without at least chatting first, and we all know how reliable IM is :s Because the membership on the other site was expiring, and I was becoming bored with it anyway (the membership, at least in our region, was quite small) we decided to try a gold membership on Senior Sizzle for 3 months. WOW what a difference gold made! I was a very busy lady for the first two weeks trying to keep up with messages etc, and hubby was in his glory being able to meander the world through naughty pics and videos. I think one of the mistakes unsuccessful single males make in the lifestyle is forgetting that the LS is first and foremost a social game, with the ladies holding all the real power. So to be a successful player, you need to treat the ladies like ladies, at least until you know them well enough to know what you can get away with. If you wouldn't tolerate someone talking to your sister or girlfriend that way, then don't talk to us that way. For the most part I am pretty tolerant of stupid, that is not really your fault, but I have almost none for rude, that requires intent and will get you blocked in a heartbeat. Being a newbie on any LS site is both exciting and somewhat disturbing. While trying to separate real players from fakes, I would often complain to the few people that I knew were real that their needs to be some sort of apprenticeship program for swingers. While this may be a good idea intellectually, I am unsure how you would implement it in real life :s All I know is that once we had met some couples in real life and then connected on Senior Sizzle, things seemed to get a lot easier. The saying "It is not who you know but who you blow" may be crass, and the "blow" part especially appropriate for the lifestyle lol but success in the LS really IS dependant on who you know.
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The Birth of Pepperstarr, the Debut (Part5)
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Posted:Apr 18, 2016 5:44 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2016 8:51 am
3234 Views
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So we were at our first LS dance, and there was no one there, but by the time we had finished filling out the paperwork, there was a line up behind us. Because we had waited until the last minute to decide to go to the dance, and because I didn't know that you were supposed to call to book a room, there were no rooms available at the hotel where the dance was held, at least online, so we had a room at another hotel, which also gave us an out if it turned out not to be our thing. We danced a lot, this particular venue has quite a large dance hall, and it is a BYOB, using red solo cups to keep it on the down-low. As the drinks flowed and the night progressed the outfits got skimpier, even non-existent for some, and the grinding/dirty dancing got racier. There was nothing explicit or in your face, but if you like to watch, which we do (but didn't know at the time) it is a great appetizer for the afterparty, where all the real action happens (which we also didn't know about). We came to the dance by ourselves, which is apparently not the way most people do it. You usually go with the couple who invited you and they introduce you to the people they know and so on. To this day I still hear people complaining that the dances are too "cliquey". That may actually be true, but being who I am, if I want to say hi to you, I really don't care if you are sitting with your clique off in a corner, I will go and introduce myself. Hubby is more shy at first, but he comes along on the Starr social train and also gets introduced. Our utter newbiness was not immediately apparent because we sat front, centerstage and danced and socialized from the beginning, it became more apparent at the afterparty, but was soon dispelled. We had no idea that the real party only started after the dance, so when people started giving us their room numbers, or announcing "Party in room XXX", we were pretty clueless but went along for the ride. We had originally gone to the dance with the intentions of being social and leaving immediately after the dance, we ended up getting back to our hotel around 5am. We did not know it at the time, but if a door is left open, it is an invitation to come in and join the festivities, and that night ALL the doors were open, a literal spchmorgusbourg of voyeurism or participation, whichever you were into. We stuck to two rooms across from each other that seemed to be just socializing. I had drank plenty of liquid courage, hubby was sober so could extricate me from any situation either of us were uncomfortable with. It all started with one lady and I kissing and fooling around, then another lady joined us, then another, then things started getting hot, clothing disappeared and the real fun began. The zipper on my dress got stuck, so I ended up fooling around fully dressed sans panties, much to the chagrin of the rather large audience we had accumulated according to hubby, who was having the time of his life at this point lol. The 4 girl pile eventually broke up and the lady who started it with me was now across the hall providing free live porn, so we all migrated over there. Of course having gotten my juices flowing with the ladies, this got me really going. So when her husband asked me to sit on her face while she was getting pounded by some random guy, I was in, and one look at the cheshire grin on hubby's face was all the permission I needed. This went on for awhile, I would participate when asked, still fully dressed sans panties, and watch when not needed, eventually everyone went to bed and it was just us two couples left, but that was not for public viewing. Suffice it to say that we had our first soft swap, and we didn't get much sleep when we got back to our hotel At the time of this dance we had started a profile on Senior Sizzle, but being standard members, had not really done anything with it. It was at AT that we discovered that there were other LS clubs in the Maritimes and that most people who went to dances also used Senior Sizzle in some form.
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The Birth of Pepperstarr cont (Part 4)
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Posted:Apr 17, 2016 8:09 am
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2016 1:19 pm
2988 Views
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At this point we were disappointed and more than a little frustrated with the web site and the LS in general, but we had some time left before our premium membership was up so I dove back in. This is when I discovered LS clubs. They would sometimes randomly show up on my search page or as someone who had viewed me, but because I knew next to nothing about the LS at the time, I thought they were ads for group sex, and we were just way too green for that sort of thing, so I ignored them for the most part. Then one of my "friends" on the site emailed us, asking me if we were going to the AT dance in St John. This piqued my interest, as I love to dance, so I asked my friend some questions, and did some searching. When you don't know what you are looking for, information on LS events in our smallish community is scarce, but I can be quite dogged when I am curious. I finally found what I had been looking for, but although it was a hub of sorts, it was still sadly lacking in useful information for the uninitiated. But my persistence paid off, I had managed to score an invite to our first LS dance, now to convince hubby he wanted to go. That was definitely the funnest part of the process. Having "convinced" hubby that we needed to go to this event, if only to meet people in the flesh so to say, we were still very nervous. We did not have a clue what to expect, let alone how to dress etc. After all we were going to a social event where the goal was to have some form of sex with other people, what do you wear to something like that? I went with sexy but classy, hubby went with business casual. Turns out we were VERY overdressed as the event was a Back to School theme, which really means naughty school girl night apparently. I guess my outfit could have qualified as Hot Teacher lol. More on the actual dance next time.
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The Birth of Pepperstarr cont (part 3)
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Posted:Apr 15, 2016 5:18 am
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2016 7:17 am
3122 Views
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There were a few couples that we had given our 'play' email address to, and I was communicating more through that than the site, exchanging pithy remarks and naughty pics on occasion, though I really didn't have any naughty pics to swap. One can only do so much by oneself That was when I discovered that hubby REALLY liked to take racy pics and videos of me! I have always been leery of taking any kind of nude photos, let alone posting them. Once something is posted on the internet it is there forever. It probably didn't help that the one time I actually let hubby video us having sex, he promptly misplaced the dvd :s But this is a real turn on for hubby so we came to an agreement that as long as there are no faces in the nude shots/videos I would be ok with it.
Once pictures got involved, email exchanges seemed to pick up a bit and we agreed to a meet and greet with one of the couples. Being our first LS encounter we were nervous and were unsure what to expect, but we were definitely not expecting to get stood up! I think of all my experiences so far in the LS, being stood up has been the most aggratating. To me this is probably the rudest thing you could do to me. A lot of planning is involved for us to be able to travel an hour to meet up with someone (that is how far we live from the nearest city), and to just not show up, no text, nothing, is the epitome of rude to me. For the most part I am a pretty forgiving person, and second chances are the norm for me, if not third and fourth, but this couple has still not gotten their second chance, the jury is still out. We still had a great time on our own, we ended up at the strip bar , but that was not the point of our date.
The other couple we had been communicating with seemed to be going better. They were a 'local' couple, meaning extensive travel was not required, but I was also nervous that they may be too close, I wanted to keep our vanilla and LS worlds separate. But with them life seemed to get in the way. First the hubby got kidney stones, then their elderly neighbour had a heart attack etc etc. We finally set a date for a meet, and two weeks beforehand, radio silence. It went from 2 or 3 emails a day to nada, not even a response to the few emails I would send cold. Another one bites the dust, our journey into the LS was not turning out the way we had hoped
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The Birth of Pepperstarr cont (part 2)
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Posted:Apr 13, 2016 8:33 pm
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2016 3:49 am
2936 Views
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We did not begin our sojourn into the life style on Senior Sizzle, but this is where it has blossomed most. As I have said, I am an all or nothing gal, so having discussed with hubby what our rules were going to be, I happily went in search of what we thought we were looking for. The first roadblock was reached in pretty short order. Standard members on any lifestyle website have very limited access to anything, which is exceedingly frustrating. I, and I say "I" because I am the one who has, and still does, most of the work when it comes to profiles etc, had jumped through all the hoops, filled out all the questions, and had even taken some naughty selfies, because hubby wasn't home and I didn't have any to begin with. On a side note, it is VERY hard to take a picture of your own butt without a full length mirror. Voila! Profile completed, and then the sharks started circling. I was shocked at how aggressive some people were, and was amazed that any couple who were just testing the waters, let alone a single female, were not all scared off in the first few weeks. But I am stubborn and, for the most part, thick skinned and quick with the witty or cutting comeback, whichever is necessary. After a week we decided that in order to give it a proper chance, we were going to have to pay for a full membership for a month, which was the shortest available period available on this particular site. Things improved, especially for hubby who enjoys pics and videos, when I was able to read profiles etc, before responding to messages. Our profile was very popular, nabbing top spot for hits the month we were there, but we had already decided to move on. More on that another day
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The Birth of Pepperstarr
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Posted:Apr 13, 2016 4:28 am
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2016 9:31 am
2937 Views
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I am the kind of person that when I decide to do something, I DO it, I jump in with both feet. This has lead to some minor disasters in my life, but I prefer to think of them as the building blocks of who I am today, and I like me. We had discussed adding other people into our sex life on and off over the years, mostly hubby having no objections to me bringing home another lady on one of my "Girls Night Out", but it never seemed to just happen. Hubby's mom had died recently, we were in a rut, so in typical Starr fashion, I decided we needed to shake things up a bit. I signed us up for an online swingers site. Hubby came home from work one day and I said to him "I have been a naughty wife". He looked at me with that confused/cautious look all men have when hearing cryptic statements from their significant others and asked me "What do you mean by naughty?" "Well I have signed us up for an online Swingers site, here is the address, username and password". He looked quite cute with his eyes bugging out of his head and his chin on his chest. He later told me that he thought I was going to say that I had raided his porn to masturbate, or something along those lines.
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To link to this blog (Pepperstarr) use [blog Pepperstarr] in your messages.
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