Church Camp- A Desire Desert or Hotbed of Almostsex
|
Posted:Apr 4, 2015 5:58 am
Last Updated:Feb 29, 2016 5:03 am
4783 Views
|
. . Everyone will be getting up soon. I went out for awhile to watch the lunar eclipse. The new and full moons are my favorite. It seems like I am always attracted to extremes. The people I like, are outliers in one direction or another. Extremely wild or extremely mild. As I think of it, most people are a mix of extreme and normalcy. Most have their passions which would consume them if it were not for their quite side to which they can retreat. TBC
VPBC had two separate church camps, one at Mt L. and F. Crk. in Ok. Even though sex was put on the back burner it did not disappear. One bizarre sexual encounter when I was 14. We were at F crk. We were staying in a much older cabin. The kitchen dining, and living areas were downstairs. The dorms were upstairs. A single stairway went up but halfway up a wall started dividing us by gender. This shared stairway led to a shared (almost) shower. The shower was one large pan, separated by a wall, about 3 inches above the floor with 3 common drains. I you laid your head sideways one the floor you could see the first 4 or 5 inches of the girls feet and legs on the other side. You have to remember when you were this young. Seeing the bottom of a girls leg, knowing she was neckid, was very exciting. We started trying to figure out who belonged to which set of feet. Scars, size tan lines etc. When the girls realized we were looking they started teasing us. They would squat down in the shower so you could see everything. Or what we teenaged boys perceived as "everything". We soon joined in their exhibitionist activities and were squatting down ourselves exhibiting our preman wares. After a run in with poison ivy I came and told Mrs. D and she said "get upstairs, shower and put on clean clothes. I liked Mrs D daughters, and had made out with both of them, I also had a thing for Mrs D and I realized when I was older that she was aware of this fact. Boys are not to swift when checking out a female. We had a tendency to stare blatantly, and drool.
I got in the shower and started showering. Not even a minute later I heard sounds from the girls shower. Not one to pass up seeing a neckid girl's feet I dived for the floor. We had been lectured by the male sponsors on this trip about putting our arms under the wall and trying to grab the girls feet. When I looked under, the female on the other side squatted down and took her hand and opened her vagina and started working her finger up inside her. I pressed my face against the floor and wall. Then to my surprise a hand slid under the wall and opened palm up. I slid my hand into her palm and she slid my hand back to her side of the shower. She then proceeded to squat over my hand and work two of my fingers inside her. She then used my fingers, under her control, to masturbate using my fingers. This did not take long. I could feel the contractions in her vagina as she came. She got up and left as soon as she was through. All I had left were two fingers that smelled nice and tasted even better. I had noticed a scar on one of her feet, just at the edge of her big toe. Later down\stairs I spotted that scar on Mrs. D's toe. She noticed me staring at it and said she got that when a stepped on her foot. The she looked me very deeply in the eyes and smiled, chuckled, turned and walked away.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
OH, So thats what a Blog is and does,What Do you mean ,
|
Posted:Mar 23, 2015 7:41 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2015 2:04 am
4914 Views
|
I am reading "Blogging for Dummies." I owe some an apology. But not for my drunken idiocy. But for not realizing this blog goes beyond members of
Senior Sizzle. Sorry my little kappa kappas.
I am leaving to go south to see my grand and check out the lake house. It was damaged in a storm.
I will be back next weekend to straighten up this mess. I am not stupid but am quite ignorant when using electronics as a therapy. I will finish this book and several others.
Maybe not , maybe just being ignorant is fine. Back uneducated, and ignorant by choice may be the way to finish this out.
I LOVE YOU
C&A
I am back after some time at L Livingston in Texas. The lake house is a total wreak. I will rebuild but not with any improvements. With running water and electric you will have a lot of people there. I have just stepped in the door from a long car ride with my sister. No smoke and no alcohol for hours. Now that she has gone to bed I am going to drink and smoke then go back over previous blogs with explanations and apologies but as for now to the WILLET, (bourbon) and a little haze and AC/DC. Back in 11 flashes.
I have read the book on blogging. I am not that electronically sophisticated to attain the level of professionalism of the other blogs. I do want to learn to download photos. I see a lot of places and things most of you miss, ignore, or run like hell from. Plus I am thinking about downloading a photo of me but that is a hard decision. There are people out there I do not want to know as much as my profiles say. When they see a photo they will know who POWWOWII is. After starting this blog I was surprised to see how many people are on Senior Sizzle back in Auburn, a few angry phone calls made me quite surprised.
I have now thought of the reason for this blog, which started out just a drunken ranting lament, intended to be an outlet for the turmoil I found inside my head. But as I guess a lot of your blogs have done mine is slowly evolving as I kind of cool down from a close relationship disaster. The "Asteroid" of disasters.
I am going to continue my examination of my early childhood 0-12, years 13-19, And my adult time, married and divorced. I am going to try to determine how I became what I am, both bad and good. And maybe what I am going to from here. Every time I have been "here" I have had something just drop in my lap. I am a little curious what's coming down the line. It is always interesting.
And as I write this it is much later and something has dropped in my lap. I called the radio station early Thurs morning and explained that their, I think I better not get into that. But like magic that afternoon I won tickets to The Rolling Stones tour, now how can I find a couple to date and what about only having two tickets.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Sex After the T's or There Is a God and I Am On His Shit LIst
|
Posted:Mar 19, 2015 2:55 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2015 2:48 am
4935 Views
|
The last week I saw C & A, back in Jan2015, we were discussing the existence of God. I brought up the fact that too many things, which would be, statistically speaking, almost impossible to happen occur to me all of the time. Is this proof of the existence of God? All I know is if there is a God he is not happy with me.
At 12 we ceased to visit with the T's. I have never seen or spoken with them since the rift between my mom and the "T" family. Out of loyalty to my mom I have never contacted them but have always missed them I think in the back of my head I somehow think Elaine will be there waiting for me. Maybe she is.
I have a little clearer idea what a blog is now. I have seen several of yours. I do not think I posses or want to posses the computer skills necessary for that level of professionalism. I would like to learn to download photos. I have been entertaining myself, since arriving, in ways most of you would think quite strange. This middle class neighborhood has an impoverished neighborhood on one side and a wealthy neighborhood on the other side. They are on each side of us with an old unused farm next to us. They have a night watchman, I play tag with him at night. Sounds cruel but he is armed. I ambush the gangs along the beautiful white rock creek they use to go into some of the surrounding neighborhoods. I just pop up from concealment and scream like a maniac and run at them. They scatter like doves. They consider me to be an insane maniac and have given up the creek as their personal sidewalk. The most fun, and that is because they have cars with bright lights and night vision as well as infrared. It gives both of us something to do in the witching hour. They get some practice and I get some practice. To Be Continued...
When I no longer visited the "T's" my sex life did not come to a screeching halt, though it did slow me down. It did delay the loss of my virginity by about 6 years. I always thought my first would be Elaine. My 1st cousin and my first true love.
I continued to fool around with some of my other cousins and my friends in the neighborhood. Patsy's father was a gynecologist. She had access to all of her father's textbooks which were quite graphic. We along with both Debbies down the street as well as the 2 sisters of my friend across the street, endeavored one day to learn how to give a pelvic exam. We had no equipment but enjoyed trying to follow the procedure. We started off in the F's garage. They were gone and their house was for sale. Which back then meant it was unlocked. There were 8 of us, 5 girls and 3 boys, aged 10 to 13. We started off just playing hide and seek, which was what we often used at night to be alone with someone. This was kind of more like hide and sex instead of hide and seek. I would be willing to bet some, no, most of you have played this version of hide and seek.
We started out playing spin the bottle, a standard among my neighborhood friends. They had been doing some work in the garage and had a hole in the closet wall about 8 or 9 inches across. We started out playing spin the bottle and this evolved into going in the closet to kiss. The rest of us would watch through the hole in the wall. When Debbie B and Jimmy went into the closet it was a kiss but after that Debbie backed up to the hole and shot us the moon. I reached out and touched her making her giggle and the rest of us laugh. Then Jimmy hung his beginner manhood out of the hole making us all roar with laughter. When they came out Pam rushed in by herself. She stood close to the opening and slid her pants down then her underwear. I put my hand inside and started rubbing her. Larry and Jimmy joined me. I was kind of surprised when Debbie P stepped up and started rubbing her, you could see she actually knew what she was doing. Debbie P was the girl who had found her parents collection of porn. She and Pam used to hang out together and spent the night with each other often. I still see Pam every now and then. She is bi now. We soon tired of this and we went in the house. In the hall bath we went in and shut the door. One of the girls had to pee so in the dark she sat down and peed. We of course, giggled and then each of us took turns peeing. Then while we were in the dark we all agreed to take off our clothes. Not that we would have sex but to a as young as we were being in the dark with everyone undressed is sex. Now at this point I should just make up something because almost anything, which could of happened, would be better then what did happen. We were giggling and making noise so we never heard them coming. The door opened and flooded the bathroom with light[ All we could see were the outlines(sorry, I could not spell Sillouette) of 3 adults. We were standing there, all 8 of us, without even our socks. We gasped in unison. But the adults gasped even louder. I am sure they knew that some were in the bathroom fooling around. Anyone could have figured that out. What they did not expect to find were 8 preteens, in their future bathroom, undressed with their clothes scatted across the floor. Within seconds two other diminutive figures ran up behind them and gasped. Later after they moved in and I met them they turned out to be Amy and Mayme, ttwwiinnss the same age as me 13. Long blond hair and blue eyes, and strongly resembling Elaine, a fact I found quite upsetting, at first.
We scrambled around trying to find our clothes which were mixed together. Having been in this situation before, with other intrusive adults, I knew the thing to do was grab my clothes and hook ass. So out of the bathroom I came with my clothes in hand and moving fast. The real estate agent and Mr and Mrs S stepped aside but Amy and Mayme did not. As the adults stepped aside I crashed headlong into the 2 girls I would be in class with the next week The others taking my lead came out right behind me. The ensuing tangle in their future hallway was like a collection of three stooge shorts. We managed to get up scream in unison yet again and resume our mad dash for the back yard where we dressed and ran for home. As I was running I could hear Amy and Mayme roaring with laughter. I found out later her parents thought it was hilarious and this was not the last time these two saw me without clothes. As our parents found out we all were grounded and not allowed to play out of sight. But of course with our devious preteen minds we found ways to get around that.
I LOVE YOU C&A
.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
A Childhood of Extremes or Top of the Bell Curve of NORMAL?
|
Posted:Mar 8, 2015 6:26 am
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2015 11:10 pm
5245 Views
|
My childhood was filled with extremes and yet pretty normal. You have four branches of your family that are close enough to be with regularly.
On one side the T's and F's. The F's-very religious, hard working, where there was no drinking, smoking, loud music or DANCIN(yeehaw). A family I stay in contact with today. The T's-very religious, hard working, where there WAS drinking, smoking, loud music and even (GodForbid) Dansin(SICOP), and a whooooole lot more. On Sundays you could not tell these two families apart, but on Friday and Saturday you definitely could see a difference. Even in the middle of the week, in the dark of night. The T's of Cotton Valley, La. was a family that lays together but never nays together. At night in a dark farmhouse out in the country where there were no street lights, just maybe a little moonlight coming through the window. You could hear things going on but really could not see what was happening. In the living room, where the youngest of the cousins uncles and aunts were put on pallets, we could hear the adults and some of us in the big bedroom behind the living room. The adults, and older cousins M/F, uncles and even aunts would come in the room and get one of us and take us with them back to "the bedroom." Sometimes they would just lay down with one of us right then. E. and I would always jump on the same pallet together, not that we minded what was done to us when we would be taken, but we liked doing those things together, off by ourselves. But E with her long blond hair and big blue eyes was very popular and the older ones would snatch her away from our pallet. Sometimes we would be taken together, almost always by a couple (aunt/uncle, couples who knew and played with the family, etc), When this would happen they usually had us perform for them, under their direction. Then they would have sex with us. Even though E was younger then me she was already going all the way. I would watch her even while having sex right next to her. Some of these men would fuck her, not make love or have sex but FUCK. I never saw her cry but I have heard her gasp and wince when one of them was not gentle. In our conversations we told each other everything, she had told me she could not remember a time when she did not go all the way. She was about 5 then because she was starting school at the end of the summer. This is when I was 8 and we started trying to be with each other exclusively. We would spend half the summer with the T family. Some of the things we did were so perverted (and fun) that even from the anonymity of a blog I would be a little embarrassed, and some of these things were so extreme you would think that it is whimsy. When my great grandmother T died we did not stay as long. When both of my grandparents died we came even less, when my mother had a falling out over an inheritance, when I was about 12. This was also about the time E and her family were killed by a drunk driver. It was my first tragedy that actually reached me down to the very bottom of my soul. The first time I ever felt a horrible empty feeling that I COULD NOT FIX. This would only be the first of many. Like all of you have had. Sometimes they strengthen you and sometimes they damage and in some cases destroy you with no coming back home. I will come back to the times spent with the T's and will tell you specifics of what we did and you will understand, maybe, why I am such a "sick puppy".
Now to the families on my Dad's side. Just like on my mother's side both W and K were families very active in church. Hard working and a little wild. W is the family that is our law enforcement branch. Descended from ranchers and in some cases still hobby ranchin. They are almost all Feds and state law officers. This is the PSYCHO branch of our family. They work hard and play rough. It is a wonder some of us did not die pulling pranks on each other. ex: loosened cinch, jar of yellow jackets under the seat of the PU, lighting firecrackers hanging out of your back pocket, you get the idea. They were not sexually promiscuous but still a lot of fun. My sister and her do contract work for the FBI with computers Two of my 3 brothers are Feds, M is with the FBI in Atlanta Mi is with the DEA in Austin. Though they were not partyers we still had a lot of fun. And I did fool around with some of my cousins it was just not a family affair like at the T's.
Our other two branches of the family were just normal kinda, mostly, yeah mostly
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
How can a girl that young light my fire or THIS IS JUST PERVERTED AS HELL IT'S SELF
|
Posted:Mar 3, 2015 4:06 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2015 2:08 am
5344 Views
|
I GUESS I SHOULD READ THE previous blogs to see what I have said, and more importantly, what I have not said. I was probably drunk enough to not say anything clear enough to be thought to be coherently precise. IOh yeah, run for the dictionary. I have intentionally restricted and controlled the amount o alcohol in my blood. What have I written before. YES! I Know Grammmer. HaHa......ad infintim. SICOP.....
I am here, back in Texas. I have been sonely since ya'll have been out of my life. I am not even talking about the sex. Yess I know someone like me should place that #1 but it isn't. It's my precious little one I ache for. PPEofS I love you all and feel an unending emptinous but the not "hold me" from L has brought me to my knees from which I will never be able to rise.tearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearsterstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearstearsteartearstearstearstearstearstears.
Ibetter come upn with something really soon or I will not survive the lonliness. sicsic sic whocares sorry all my previous grammer teachers at, lets think, Kincade Houston Tx. andf TGreenhill in Addison , TSX back then. Greehaven CC gol\f teninis swimming a lot of girls out o0f my reach because they did not go to VPBC. Oh Linda W and my precious little Monique, from French 1 from RLT.
What the hell is this post about, I am not sure. I really should have ead he previous posts,, as I sober up I realize this but I will just keep going. I don't know wine I am an expert on single malt liquors. sTonight I am out of my territory. The liquor stores were not open on Sunday, my sister was gone to Austin and my eldest , the one still in Texas.(this should be a comma), has seen fit to get rid of my van,two cars, 68Ford 3/4T, motorcycle, and travel trailer, she just had a junkman haul them away, she said t"they are old rusty and broken," HELL so am I.
As I type this I really do not know what I have written in previous blogs. I don't think I will look to see what is there. Instead I will go into what I think has lead me here. Back in Texas, estranged from my friends and you KappaKappa whatever girls at Auburn U. I think something abouty thi U is a "thorn in the side" to all of my daughters and my eldest grandchildren. Problllly hillbilly love. oh Auburn U and you Southern girls. SorryJ A C J D S C H AT,S,AL,L,SK I absolutely LOVE you all without "reserve".
Oh, Irmember now. What a disaster. How can you survive that kind o disaster. You cannot. If you can keep on going it is only a hugh amount of 101TURKEY and "Wild Wood Weed" that keeps you going. Thank you, I don't dare say "thank God", for Auburn U girls, soft and sympathetic My little KappaKappaKaves for me to hide in while I lick my wounds, or anything else, SORRY, AVBOUT THAT,
I will manage to get some Turkey today, I guess I will continue tomorrow, though less coherent.
This was not one of my typical, almost traditional, KappaKappaKatastrophies. This goes even beyond anything I have dealt with before. ICG yes I KNow.
I cannot fix this one, it is not like the long line of disasters preceeding it. Still drunk do not want to mess with correcions.
Tommorow I will read all of what I have written and drink a l0t of Turkey and Smoke then I will type while I am blind.
Thank You
YORE FRIND
[ My apologies to the wonderful sororities at Auburn U. I have received several phone calls. None of which had that happy "I am drunk tonight" sound, instead they are typically now, "shut the F up old man" I used to run around with C's cousins L and W. They are those kind of "bad boys" that mothers warn daughters about. They would visit the campus on Friday night. The girls they knew were always glad to see them. I became known to the girls in this "select" group because I was always with L and W on Friday night. They are all beautiful and intelligent girls, who are just sowing their wild oats. I just happened to be lucky enough to be one of the oats. I really do love you girls and enjoy partying with you, even though when people see me out with any of you they say, "Oh how cute, those girls are taking their PA PA out for dinner."]
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
I am so tired or maybe just depressed
|
Posted:Mar 2, 2015 3:38 am
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2015 4:01 am
4839 Views
|
who knew lonliness wa so debilitating. The sadness is amost at a level never seen before. Ohk, well who could ever of thought wine would bring on this level of of inebriation. The sadness envelopes me with a cloud of lonely.. I must be an extremely weak little wimp[, I only wanted to belong to some one or someones . Oh whiyu sowa nor swRH XOMW. rHW LWCWL OD lxohL IA r LWCWRL RO OD KILLWSWS MW. Hoq aS RHr I xNNOR WCWN Who knew wine could have such a devastating ffeffect. I love youb and miss yyou so bad it leaves me feeling hhhopeless and empty. Pleade watch out for thebabies I miss them terribly.
of dcours34 it is mhy fauyld that I am not their . I anm surprised I would tarade myh soverness for an evening with Who Knew. I am goning home I just don't know it it I 2ill mqake it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Oh back to the land of sober waking upbefore all the computer nerddas show up. ESPP. I will leave it as it was typed, who could kno2 that level of drunkenness w\could so devastating. s ;otttle soberor , who could nbelieve reality could be so sobering. Out of bourbnne who couldbelieve wine would vbe sonsonSOl;
I have done what is necessary for th e end and yet I nam stil lhere what is the level of aclllllcoohol that en is the last cALLL WHY AHAVENT I MADE IT THERE YET LOWHWELL---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OH a AND c IF ONOLY YOU WOULD COME BVACI FR ME I MISS YOU ALL.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
tHIS DOES OT MATTER ]\, DOES IT. hOW WE FEEL AT THE END DOES NOT MATTR BECALUSE IT IS THE END .. aH THERE IS SOMETHING COMFORTING ABOUT THE END --------------------------------------------------
[Again I apologize for drunken rantings. Going through waves of depression which were handled with waves of alcohol. Plus missing my close friends and family was having a devastating effect on me psychologically and as an extenuation of that, physically devastating.]
[How needy, how embarrassing, I should be selling cookies door to door, What a wimp I have become, I was used to being alone, though lonely I could still be happy, but not now. I am used to being around a large number of people now and now I am back to being alone, talk about "culture shock."]
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
How Sad or How Perverted (a discovery discussion on
|
Posted:Mar 1, 2015 5:02 am
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2015 4:15 am
5525 Views
|
I guess I was drunk enough last night, possibly too drunk,..... Naaaaaaw. How can you be too drunk and still remain upright or in my case uptight.
Just what the hell am I sexually. My childhood ranged from abstinence with no mention of sex ever to nights filled with perverted acts. I will go into this in detail later. Suffice to say that this period of my life had a profound affect on me. But what am I now.
I certainly started out heterosexual when I went to college and started dating girls who were not in our church. Or at least one girl, my first wild girl, and later my wife. On our first date we went to the lake with her friends. We went out to the Island, it took quite a few trips to take everyone out to it. (Easthill Park, Lake Dallas). There were about 30 of us. I had never drank before that night. MD made me a drink known as an "Anklebreaker"). That night was hazy yet quite memorable. As the bonfire burned down everyone started coupling up, and in some cases tripling quadrupling and pentangling up. Though drunk I still was shocked. They were all on blankets around the dying fire having sex, not clandestinely, but moaning, screaming clawing, and ouch oohing. I was looking at them stunned. Here were a lot of people with whom I have classes with back at NTSU (Texas). I looked at MD, She was looking at me with a puzzled smile on her very beautiful face. At this point she did not realize I had never had sex, except for my childhood, (I do not like the term virgin it sounds too feminine). She was beginning to get a clue and would soon Know without a doubt. She kissed me and at the same time gently pushed me down on our blanket. She climbed on top and unbuttoned my shirt while kissing my chest and stomach. Then she straddled my legs and undid and slid down my shorts. Then standing up she undressed, and stood straddling my legs smiling down at me. I was embarrassed and uncomfortable, not by her or my nudity, but by the fact that most of her friends had stopped having sex and were watching us, or actually watching her. MD was gorgeous and very sexy. She knelt back down and performed fellatio on me (my first time as an adult), then sat on me slowly, very slowly putting it in herself. She needed no help from me. I remember telling her how warm and wet she felt. I certainly did start out as a heterosexual. I became very sexually active, very quickly. At the same time hopelessly in love with MD.
I never had homosexual sex except in boy scouts we would fool around. At least until we all, most of us, discovered girls. Beyond that brief time I have never been attracted to a male. Compared to a woman, a man is really ugly. Having said this you and I both know I was not bi or homosexual. At least not yet.
Back to the present. It was on our 6th camping trip that C&A showed without the or W, C's cousin who lived with them. We partied really hard because we had no to watch. C went to bed and I stayed up with A. We even became drunker. Then A said "it is late, we have to leave for Florida early". I went to take a shower, when I came back A was in bed. In my tent I have used cots and 3 queen size mattresses to create a bed 6'8' x 15'. Big enough for all the and adults. Before this trip I had never been in the tent with C & A and the family. I have 9 pillows and enough comforters, blankets and sheet sets to cover everyone. When I went in the tent A had set up 3 pillows and blankets together in the middle of the bed. She and C were on the 2 outer pillows and the middle pillow was open. I stood for a second not knowing what to do. Truthfully, I did know what was supposed to happen, but I was scared(what a wimp) I had not had sex in thirtytwo years, except with myself, and on top of that they were very experienced and I was not. I had never had 3way sex. It was not the sex I was afraid of, it was disappointing them that I feared. They had quickly become very important to me and I did not want to lose them. I had already figured out I was attracted to both of them, though I was in love with A. Over the next year I became in love with both of them as a couple. If I did not lay in the middle, it could hurt their feelings. If I lay in the middle and that was not their intention it could end our relationship, which early on, became very important to me, very quickly. Well I slid into the spot between them. They both woke up looked down at me smiled at each other. Keep in mind that even after a shower I was very very drunk. They laid back down, C scooted up close to me and as he did he laid his leg across mine. I looked over at A and she smiled and snuggled up next to me and put head on my shoulder then slid her arm across me and laid it on C's side. I put my arm around her and then my other arm around C and they snuggled even closer. After returning from the shower I killed off the bottle of Turkey we were drinking. When I reach a certain level of alcohol I lose consciousness but can , unfortunately, keep going on auto pilot for hours. Remember this fact when you read my last blog. I don't remember what happened after we cuddled up and did not find out until later, much later. When I woke up C & A were gone. They had come camping without the because they were going to Florida alone and wanted me to go with them. They were gone and so were my pajamas and underwear. I could make up something but I am trying to keep this blog factual not for you but for me. I am using this blog so I can figure out what happened. Not that night but in this evolving relationship. I find out what happened later, but I am trying to reveal events as they unfolded to me. Oh, my underwear, or what was left of them were in the fire, my pajamas were hanging out on our camp clothline.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Too much ice not enough bourbon. wjere the F MY GLASSES,
|
Posted:Feb 28, 2015 2:45 am
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2015 3:55 am
5158 Views
|
I AM NOT DRUNK ENOUGH FOR THIS. A I need youtorescue me. but I guess not this time. College girls are forgivable but not this. OH WELLL, I am here on a moral failure. Nice to be home. Sorry A I let you down in a long line of men who have failed you. Sorry H,I know you know what is in my heart. Sorry AT, your so beautiful, Sorry S if you would of taken possession of me I would not be in this predicament now. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. Sorry
R, your a great if I am alive in 5 years I will roll a big old hooter for us. I love yall and not in a weird way. This sucks, being without yall and not knowing if I willever see you all ever again How did this ever end up being. Oh yeah, I had forgotten that. THANK GOD FOR ALCOHOL, I need to get back toAuborn U and a continuous stream of college girls prepared to prove their parents wrong. LITYTLE DO THE Y KNOW. HA AHA HA HA HA . oH YESSSSSS. I guess I should not mention that.
Sobered up now, dedicated to not eraing what they have written, maybe I am no t as sober as I thingk I am.. toooooooo drunk Back from the bathroom. A little srtraighter and soberorrrrrr. Oh A I needed you and C ot own me now I am lost and dissoriuented sigh sigh sigh..SAVERME, SAVEMEM, SAVEME, SAVEME, SAVE,ME, SAVEME, SAVEME, SAVEME, SAVEME, SAVEME, SAVEME, SAVEME, SAVEME, OH WELL BACK TO EMPTY HELL .[I do apologize for the drunkenness, it is a product of lonely desolation among crowds of people. And yes how I type drunk is how I speak drunk. When I am drunk I can speak openly, even as I put my head in a noose, but not coherently. The opposite is true when I am sober. I am trying to find a happy medium. Unfortunately I am not skilled in that way. Since I started drinking heavy I have depended on my friends to monitor and control my drinking, and they do{did} so without fail, for the most part.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Drunk again, so you know I will tell you the truth or WERE YOU LIVING IN A CAVE FOR 32 YEARS?
|
Posted:Feb 27, 2015 3:57 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2015 1:33 am
5268 Views
|
AL once lamented in a sad tone "your an idiot". How did I end up in a cave. I am very submissive towards females, a fact I either was not aware of , or my subconscious had pushed it down out of sight. I was always attracted to dominant females, then I fought against their domination because it was not "MACHO' to be dominated by a female. How unmanley, what a whimp chimp. If I had just let my first girlfriend outside of VPBChurch take control everything IT would have been OK I was raised in a family who was in church 3-5 days a week. Mother and Stepfather- VPBaptistChurch, Father and Stepmother- FWFriends Church, Even at my grandparents we were in church all the time. The branch of the family I was introduced to sex with at an early age was in church all of the time. At night when I and my cousins were visiting the T"s in Cotton Valley, La. we would play Pallet Bingo with my cousins and Uncles and Aunts. Elaine and I would always try to be together because we loved each other from an early age. If you think it was just sex you would be wrong. We liked being together. Elaine, though 3 years younger, was very dominant in our relationship, both sexual and non-sexual. I just never realize this fact. Had I realized I liked being dominated by a female my life would have been different. Instead I dug in my heels, determined not to be a dominated whimp. Being dominated by a women who has our relationship and our family relationship at the front of her concerns is a BIG plus+++++. The reason I take the time to get you to understand this submissive thing is because it plays a pivotal role in what is about to unfold or is about to be undone. . My little computer savant S, who found out everything with an in depth examination of my Kindle , showing her my innermost thoughts and musings, learned this fact. Even after this she still liked me . Maybe even more then before she knew as much as her mother. How does all this have anything to do with 32 That is because my marriage with a very intelligent, sweet, beautiful woman MD failed because I failed to realize her dominance I was fighting was the very thing that had drawn me to her in the first place. This goes to show you that IQ is not as big a plus as it is supposed to be in our society. (and you thought I would end that sentence with a preposition). Our marriage failed because I failed to realize this fact. 30Dedren 500mg - 8days coma. 2nd separation- a nonstop conveyor belt of wild Alvin Tx girls. What a macho Joe Cool guy. Turns out my ex and her friend T were sending these girls to distract me from "better dead then unwed" On to separation #3 and a final divorce. At this point I realized something was wrong with me but I did not know what that was. I did know, however, that pain still hurts and if being alone would mean that I would not have to feel that pain again, ALONE IS GOOD. Alone hurts, just not as bad as being left alone. Aquaintences at work not outside of work, druggie friends, just for obtaining herb no contact beyond that, church friends while the were young enough to want to go, but not outside church. I was around SOCIETY, but not in SOCIETY. This lifestyle is painless and filled with pain. I stuck to this strategy for 32 years. The camels could not get under my tent until little L cried because everyone had walked out of the den leaving her alone with me. I said poor baby and she looked up at me with her tear filled eyes and held out her arms and said, "hold me" I picked her up and she wrapped her little arms around my neck and tucked her head under my chin and melted 32 layers of protective ice leaving me exposed to what was coming. OH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
What About the Others, it is not just about the teenage daughters and momma
|
Posted:Feb 26, 2015 4:04 am
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2015 9:30 pm
5122 Views
|
C-A;s husband, head of the household, but A is the boss, even mine. C, very intelligent with knowledge that you can use not my math, hard science and engineering knowledge which is worthless outside of the field. I loved him as I loved A. We were alike in ways left unmentioned.
The Babies: AL my little monkey. Always had to show me her next daring dangerous feat. Like my youngest D, she put a lot of stress on my timid heart. A potentially powerhouse gymnast. But she shows an engineers intellect. M, if you wanted her to pick up the yard you just had to use the words "help me" and she was there. She was my little helper, with such a sweet smile. L, my little snuggle bunny who made decades of loneliness disappear with just a quick hug. We, the adults, would party into the night. One by One we would fall out. The little night owl L would take her I pad or Kindle fire on into the night. I, the light weight , would crash on the couch before anyone or I guess be put on the couch after hitting the floor Because of this I would wake up at 2 or 3 and find my little L propped up against me asleep in the glow of her screen. I would put her up on the pillow and cover her up with one of her little blankets she liked. If she woke up and did not like the blanket you had picked you had to get the particular one she wanted. even if a search was required. If she was thirsty, you not only had to have the correct fluid but also the correct glass, often requiring, not only locating but also washing said vessel as well, while listening to her wail the entire time. She was worth all the difficulties. Having her cuddle up next to me on the couch while the rest of us were partying gave me a feeling of being needed and that I was important to her. MIssing her is what is crushing my soul more then any of the other accompanying tragedies and disasters.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
MORONEONIC RISE TO THE BOTTOM orrrrrr GUY LEAVES DECISIONS UP TO CROTCH
|
Posted:Feb 20, 2015 1:08 pm
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2015 2:53 am
5396 Views
|
Recently, after a 32 year self imposed exile from the human race, I fell into some friends. My youngest had known the husband, C from gradeschool. They reunited as friends so they were at the house regularly, which I did not mind because his wife A was gorgeous funny smart and sweet. Not to leave out the fact they had 3 gorgeous, intelligent, funny and flirty teenage daughters. H sweet and very caring, when drunk she has pulled me up off the floor and propped me up on the couch, many times. A, who was brainy and funny, she bore an uncanny resemblance to Kirsten Durst, and is a girl with whom, you did not want to get into a war of wits with, anytime. S, when I first met them she was a tomboy. She is tough but yet sweet, a fact she hides with her toughness, but you see it if your feeling bad. She is very dominant and bossy, and has knocked two adult men down on their asses. I thought of her as a little girl, she was 13. But right before she turned 15 they came to the house. S was wearing black stiletto high heels with black stockings and a tight short black cocktail dress. Her hair was no longer a practical ponytail but now a cascade of golden curls. At first I did not recognize her. She took my breath away as I froze and fixated upon her. Then, I looked at her mom A, she was smiling and chuckling she told me later she saw in my face when I realized she was S, her . This was the first time I socialized with C & A and their family. My and -in-law were late getting home. C & A had been over many times before this night but I just got them and their food and drink but did not socialize with them , except for the 3 little ones L18m, M 3yrs, and AL 6yrs. After picking up the baby when she was crying I knew one by one I would love these and I am Speaking about love in an appropriate sense. I even become quickly attached to the teenage daughters in an appropriate way, except for S, I loved her both ways, she could set me on fire with just a casual touch or put me in a hypnotic state with just the smooth sweet southern charm in her voice. Even A's R 13yrs turned out to be a great . So I was not surprised when I quickly became attached to them. What I was surprised by was how quickly I came to love C & A in both ways. I had already been camping once the week before with my her boyfriend and my grandkids and his . We went camping the next week at Chewacla State Park , close to Auburn Alabama, and my invited C & A and their family. It was here that A and my D had a fight D and her boyfriend SH left for home 8 m away. I spent the rest of the weekend with C & A. A likes to drink C likes to occasionally. I had drank before but never been really drunk. But with C and His cousin W mixing drinks A and I got blasted. This is the way we did every weekend except when the weather was bad we stayed at their house and sometimes at mine. It was on our third camping trip and A and I were the only ones up. She was speaking about being molested by her own grandfather she had been sent to live with while her mom was in jail. There were no extra rooms so they put her in a basement room by herself. The little 6 yr old had to endure nightly visits from her grandfather who was not gentle. When this began A said her underwear were bloody. She said her step grandmother had to of known. This was a man who had previously molested his daughters, A's aunts. She was saying how bad she hated pedophiles and I having been molested by uncles and cousins I agreed with her. Then I said something which surprised and shocked me. I told A that " I was a pedophile because not only did I have the hots for her and possibly even her husband but I also had the hots for all three of her teenage daughters. we both looked up surprised by what I had said. During my association with C & A I not only got to know them well but they got to know me better then anyone and I learned things about myself previously unknown or pushed down and forgotten till now.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (POWWOWII) use [blog POWWOWII] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
41
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
|
|
|
