Bisexual people face stigma and discrimination
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Posted:Jan 22, 2018 9:24 pm
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2019 3:51 pm
1925 Views
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All bisexual people face stigma and discrimination, but we've seen this kind of double standard before. Amber Rose once said she would't date a man who identifies as bisexual. On top of , a 2016 survey found 63% of women wouldn't have sex with a man who had previously had a same-sex partner.
So, why? People fear what they can’t wrap their heads around and the idea of being capable of being attracted to more than one type of person rejects everything we’ve been taught about how love, sex, attraction, and the human brain work.
I have been rejected by quite a few of women on this site based only on the fact I have had same-sex partners in the past. I think these women hold on to the view while women occupy a wide spectrum of sexuality but men are either gay or straight or somehow we are all disease carriers or whores! This is the 21st century not the middle ages.
The bottom line is bisexuality isn't just a phase, it's not a stop on the way to being gay (or straight) and it's not just for women. Bisexuality is a totally valid identity and it should be treated as such.
Thank you for reading 
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How do you tell your wife you are bisexual?
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Posted:Jun 19, 2019 5:09 pm
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2019 9:43 pm
1882 Views
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When it comes bisexuality, there are a lot of questions that start with the word, “how,” from how , um, have sex with another guy (or another woman if you're a bisexual) and how tell someone that you’re bisexual. While these questions in particular can produce some mild headaches and a bit of heartburn, nothing fries one’s noodle than these questions: How do I get permission be openly bisexual and how do I find someone be bisexual with?
There’s no tried and true way ask these questions, let alone get the answers that are needed. Well, of the questions I posed. the first one is pretty easy answer – the other , eh, not so much. You’d think that for those last questions, you just tell your partner that we need talk about something and just put it out there; you tell them how you feel, what you’re thinking about how your feeling, how long this has been on your mind, what you’d want experience and even the type of person you’d like experience things with.
Except, it’s never that easy. I’d hazard a guess and say that if bisexuals had this discussion with their partner, maybe of them would not not get raked over coals, tarred and feathered, but getting permission act is also given, either singularly or as a joined kind of thing. The others? Let's suffice say that things are not going go well for them even when a partner has opined that they don’t have a problem with bisexuals… as long as it doesn't have anything do with them.
Or you.
Still, they remain legitimate questions that, for a bisexual, have be answered – there’s just no easy or simple way get them. It leaves frustrated, miserable, depressed, etc., and more so when you’re in a relationship; you’re bound by the rules of monogamy and many bisexuals find, in that moment of personal discovery, that monogamy sucks and not in a good way. You’ve gotten hooked up with someone loves you, understands you, would do anything within reason for you, find that, nope, they’re not of a mind let you explore your bisexual feelings. At this point, a lot of bisexuals decide that it’s better beg forgiveness than ask permission and the funny thing about asking permission is that almost everyone contemplating this automatically assumes that the answer will be no; the truth of this is that if you don’t ask, you will never know.
The thing that makes having such discussions with a partner is a total failure to communicate and I’ve seen this failure get to the point where talking about things sexual – and with the person you’re having sex with – is damned near impossible so you can probably imagine how having a conversation about bisexuality might go over. Making this worse is you can be pretty sure how your partner might react to any of this and more so if you’ve spent any time listening to whatever is on their mind about homosexuality and more so when gay marriage is still rattling people’s cages as they find ways to cope with this… so telling them that you’re bisexual and that you’d like to have permission to get a boyfriend/girlfriend you can explore this with – and because if you don’t, they feel they’re going to be at risk where their sense of self and emotional well-being is concerned – will be, historically, met with a lot of negativity, possibly quoting Old Testament stuff, and a scolding about what the sanctity of marriage means – and keep in mind that even unmarried couples are subject to these rules as well.
Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. So far, this isn’t sounding good or making anyone feel good and for that, I am truly sorry and say again that there’s just no easy way to do this because if there was, I wouldn’t have to write this and it would be a moot point. Now, there is a well known stereotype that bisexuals are cheaters… except, that’s a partial truth because there are a lot of bisexuals wouldn’t cheat even if their lives depended on it; the bad part is that they usually wind up suffering in a few ways because the urge and need be bisexual – and not being able – just eats them alive and in some very scary ways. Why do bisexuals go on the down-low do what they have do? I’ll say it again:
It’s easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission. It’s even true that a lot of bisexuals “step the side” as an act of self-preservation, something that I think all bisexuals understand; discovering that you’re bisexual creates a great deal of internal stress – both physical and emotional – and I’m being nice saying it like that and the urge get there and do something is of the most powerful things anyone can experience and the longer things go without being resolved or taken care of, the more powerful that urge becomes. So it comes down do something… or lose your ever-loving mind.
Now. Partners are, frankly, being a bitch about any of this, aren’t aware of how this can mess someone up and they aren’t aware of it because, in every situation I know of centered on this very thing, the partner makes it about them – what about their feelings and stuff like that, making you the bad guy/gal when, be honest, they’re the villain in this because their objections and negativity is almost always interpreted as them saying they don’t care about how much this means you; they care about how they feel about it. Once the bisexual partner has been “kicked the curb” on this, what they don’t attention is how their rejection will impact the relationship; sometimes, it’s subtle, sometimes it isn’t but you can bet your booty that it will be negatively impacted and will manifest itself in a lot of ways, from the bisexual partner being more cranky than usual becoming depressed, uninterested in a lot of stuff (like having sex with you, you heartless asshole), and sometimes, when a partner does notice it, it’s not like they can’t figure the answer , “Hey – what’s going on with you?” – some just ignore all the strife going on with you and, again, more because they’re offended, hurt, feeling betrayed – whatever.
It’s just the tip of a very nasty iceberg and the sad part is that there are a lot of bisexuals ’ll choose suffer with this and will never say anything about it… and that’s just not a healthy thing do. I’m not saying that all bisexuals want reveal themselves a partner or even ask for permission should do so; you know the situation you’re in better than anyone and it all comes down deciding whether bringing any of this up is worth the drama that may ensue. And, at some point, someone might decide that if their partner isn’t willing help them with this, it’s time take matters into their own hands, aka Rule #1:
Take care of your own ass first.
So I tell bisexuals that in these things, you have to do what will ultimately be the best thing for you to do and that, sometimes, the best thing you can do – not say anything about any of this – might not be the best thing to do. It just isn’t easy but, at the time, if you don’t say anything, you’ll never know where your partner stands on the matter or what they’re willing do make sure you don’t devolve into a miserable and bitterly wretched person.
Having said all of this, can it be done? Yes, it can be and for many, it still wasn’t easy to do. If you’re determined to stand your ground in this, by all means, stand your ground but understand that there are always consequences and unless you’re prepared to deal with them, maybe it’s better not to say anything you are prepared deal with them. Most certainly, this matter and those questions I mentioned will test not ’s resolve, but the strength of their love for each other and their relationship and, sadly, many do find that their relationship isn’t as strong as they thought – or had hoped.
Here’s Joe’s story:
When Joe’s wife asked for permission – demanded it, – it put Joe in a bad spot and where he had a choice make and based on what she said him, namely, “I’m going do this with or without your blessing.” The questions he asked myself went like this: “Which thing could I live with – knowing what she was doing and she was doing it with or not knowing?” The most important question was, “Do I love her as much as I swore that I do?” Along with this : “Isn’t it my duty do whatever I can do make and keep her happy?” and “Don’t I have a responsibility where her mental health is concerned and if there’s something I can do keep her from literally losing her mind, shouldn’t I do it?” Even better: “Do I want live with someone is going make my life miserable because she can’t get what she needs?”
She wanted permission… and she got it; Joe would rather know what woman she’s sleeping with, he did love her as much as he said he did; he felt it was his duty and responsibility make her happy and keep her feeling good about herself… and giving permission was a lot easier than filing for divorce and throwing away all that they had done that point in time. And, hell, no – Joe seen how miserable she was before the fact and it wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t an easy decision make and more so since he was allowed a small space of time think about it all and make a decision way or the other. Normally, Joe doesn’t respond well ultimatums but this couldn’t be ignored and, again, there was thing do and that was say her, “So… how are we gonna make this work?”
Not “How are you gonna make this work.” We. Us. I’ll be blunt and frank and say that of the things Joe realized was that she wanted and needed something that he couldn’t give her: Pussy. The touch of another woman and an intimacy that men just completely fail to provide women. That messed Joe’s head up, you know, find that nope, he wasn’t everything she’d ever need and more so because, duh, he was born . That and this wasn’t about Joe and trying make it about him would tell her that he didn’t care about this thing that was bothering the crap out of her – and he did notice how miserable she was and how it was affecting everything they did together. Joe hated what she had to say – and like most men would – but he also had to give her props for standing up and demanding to get what she needed and that she was willing to get it by any means necessary; fair would be better, but foul was something she was determine to invoke if necessary.
The bad part? Not every partner is capable of looking at this the way Joe did. Still, if you don’t try, you can’t fail and if you don’t ask, you won’t ever know. It’s a judgement , at the end of the day – make the or don’t.
Here’s my own story:
I love my wife very much but there’s something inside that drives me to the desire to enjoy the company and sex with another guy. It’s there, inside me and there’s nothing I can do about it other than to satisfy my desire for sex companionship and sex. So, evening after dinner, my wife and I were relaxing and watching TV and I said those famous words “We need talk.” She though the worst. I said “I am bisexual. I can’t stand it anymore not letting you in on a part of me that has been there since my early teens. I would like be able make friends with and sometimes have sex with other guys.” Let’s just say she was speechless and shocked. About minutes went by when she finally said “I have something tell you too. I am also bisexual. How are we gonna make this work?” Long story short, we talked about safe sex and a of other things and in the end, she was just fine with it providing I try hard tell her in advance when I’m going be on a date with a guy. We agreed that’s how it would work for her, too, if she wanted to be with a woman.
I have been told by many men that I must be the luckiest guy on Earth. My answer to that is talk to your wife! Don’t suffer endlessly and worse yet, don’t cheat on her – that’s not nice. If you do cheat, I get it. This is about YOU though. Try to make her understand this is a real need that you have and that cheating or worse yet not doing anything about it at all WILL affect your sanity, your mood and many other things I have talked about.
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