The chair  

Hvschickforfun 41F
55 posts
12/17/2019 2:07 pm
The chair

I’m on one today! Sooo sick of the smart ass motherfuckers in the world. It’s one of those “ leave me the fuck alone and let me deal with shit my way” kinda days. Christmas is in a week, I barley have any shopping done, my husband is a asshole, my job is getting to me and I’m on my period! Thank god for Adam Levine and his cover of sex and Candy. It took me back to Sam’s place. Here’s that story....

I had gotten myself into a bit of trouble and needed a second job to cover some expenses. So I picked up a second job bartending at a restaurant downtown. Now I didn’t know the first thing about bartending as I was always on the opposite side of the bar drinking my problems away. So I needed training and had to follow the white version of Steve Urkle. This dude was as awkward as they come but he was cool as shit. Everyone loved him from coworkers to the folks that came to dine in.

I trained for a week and took a test on what I had learned and I was told the schedule would be posted the following Monday. I dropped Monday after my first job and everyone was gathered round the board checking their schedules and I over heard a chick saying how she just couldn’t believe Sam was coming back. He was a loser that had gotten suspended cussing someone out or had gotten into it with another coworker. I don’t remember but this chick and a few others wasn’t pleased to have him return to work.

I think I started my first real shift on a Wednesday and I thought I’d be working with Urkle but come to find out he didn’t bartend, he just waited tables and I was stuck with a rather good looking fella. Oh, this must be Sam, probably hurt chicks feelings and thats why she was bitter. Nope.... his name was Jax and he’d been on vacation. He was kinda an asshole with , “I know I’m fine as fuck” attitude. Let’s just say he’d met his match as far as attitude goes. Sure he was easy on the eyes but that didn’t get very far with me. He was shocked that I gave him attitude right back and didn’t give into his good looks.

It’s Friday night and my second week there so I kinda knew most of my coworkers now. The way the schedule was set up people staggered in at different times. I was pouring a beer and I looked up see a dude wearing a trench coat. The vibes I got off this dude was he probably lived I his mommas basement learning how make bombs to blow up the city. He was just creepy! He took off his coat and walked into the kitchen liked he worked there. Who is this guy???

About 10 minutes later he comes from the kitchen and walks to the bar. He speaks to Jax who is checking his hair in the back mirror behind the liquor bottles. Jax says he’s glad to see him back and goes about his grooming. He looks at me and walks back towards to main dining area. Fuck you too is what I was thinking. I asked Jax who he was and being the conceded assholes was told me he was my boyfriend. I returned with a smart remark with he was jealous. Oh the web we weave!

The bar got busy fast and soon the entire bar was wrapped. The drinks were flowing in from the main dining area too. Jax handled the folks at the bar and I would make the drinks that came in from the dining room. As I made the drinks and stuck the printer paper with the drink on it to let people know who’s it was and where it was going, I noticed one of those had the name Sam on it. Ahhh, so that’s who the strange creepy guy is. I went to pour a beer and I heard, “is this mine?” I asked if it had his name on it? He said he was just making sure, didn’t want to mix anything up.

The night went on and Urkle had checked on me a few times and asked me if I was ready to quit yet. He said the GM told him it was his job to make sure I was comfortable with the job and to make me feel like I was one of the staff. Other than the jerkoff I had to bartend with and his smartass serial killer looking friend, I was great! Everyone else was cool and ask how I liked it so far when they came to get their drinks. A couple of them told me I was doing a great job.

The night came to an end and it was time clean up and go home. I was exhausted after working all day at my normal job and then after a very busy night behind the bar. Jax volunteered to count the tips while I cleaned the bar mats and the taps and whipped everything down. He did scrub the floors and bring up the ice. But I did most of the cleaning while he sat on his ass counting our tips. Urkle and a few other servers sat at a table counting their and I noticed Sam was one of them. He was chatting it up with Urkle. Now, like I said everyone liked Urkle so I wasn’t too surprised that he was chatting it up. I get my earnings and go home.

About a week later Jax calls in and so I’m the only bartender that night. I stayed busy and learned I could handle it on my own. But cleaning it myself wasn’t going to be fun. Urkle stepped up to me clean and asked if I wanted go get a beer after we were done. I told him no because I didn’t want to drink and drive. That’s the whole reason I’m here. So he told me he’d follow me home and I could ride with him. So I did. We get to this hole in the wall and order a beer. Soon about 3 other coworkers showed up and we drank and chatted it up. Soon after Urkle gets a phone and wants know if I wanted ride over to Sam’s place and I was like, ummmm NO! I didn’t like Sam. He was weird and he wasn’t very friendly to me. But Urkle was nice enough to come get me so I was like sure.

On the way I asked if Sam was going us and Urkle thought that was funny. He assured me he was cool just miss understood. I didn’t have good thoughts going through my head but here I was. We get to Sam’s place and it’s an apartment. I noticed is was tidy and dimly lit. Why are we sitting in the dark? This motherfucker is fixing us! WHY???? There was a couch along the back wall and a recliner with an end table it. I quickly sat in the recliner and was told Sam that was his seat, but I could sit there. WHY AM I EVEN HERE? I was ready to go.

Urkle asked if I wanted to smoke some pot. During training we had talked about what we did as far as smoking and drinking and I was down with both. I was quite the pot head back then. So Sam proceeds to roll a blunt and we smoke. Sam doesn’t say much and Urkle decides to tell him my thoughts of him while we were on our way over. I hauled off and smacked the shit outta Urkle! Why? Why would he tell him? Now he really is gonna us. Luckily I’m a bit of a smartass and played it off. You never know, I told Sam, you never know. All of a sudden Urkle gets a phone from his baby momma and needs to take her something. He asks if I minded chilling at Sam’s for about 20 minutes. Ummmm NO! He checks with Sam and asks him if he minded if I chilled there till he got back. Sam said he didn’t mind. Of course he didn’t, he’s gonna murder as soon as you walk out the door. Sam said he’d wait at least 10 minutes before he’d slaughter me. I told Urkle to hurry up as he walked out the door.

Here I sat, as hell with the freak from work. He offered me a beer on his way into the kitchen. Sure, get and<b> drunk </font></b>before you murder me , I joked. He brought a beer and disappeared into a room down the hall. I knew it, I knew he was gonna me! Now, those of you who smoke pot or have ever smoked pot you know how paranoid one can get. You start to believe the crazy shit that’s going through your head. I was convinced he was coming with a machete to wack off my head. He comes back with a guitar.

He sat on the couch and was messing with the strings. He told me he’d broken a string and asked if I minded him fixing it instead of chopping my head off. Seeee I knew you had funny business going on! It then became a joke. He asked me what kinda music I liked. Me, I like all kinds of music. We sat and talked about our favorite bands while he fixed the string on his guitar. Soon Urkle was back and it was 2 in the morning. So I needed to go home.

The next week at work was awkward with Sam. He’d make some kinda of murder joke every time he’d come get his drinks from the bar. Jax didn’t get it so with him was fun. I think Jax was more worried about why I didn’t play into his pretty boy swagger and joked with Sam. Because he had some jokes!

One night it was storming and Sam didn’t live far from where we worked and had walked to work that day. He asked Urkle if he could give him a ride home. He said he would ask me but a murder on a stormy night just seemed to perfect of a plan and he’d knew I’d turn him down. You know what, smartass, I will take you home. There’s enough people here if I don’t show for my next shift, they’ll know I’ve been murdered. Everyone laughed and said they had my back. Sam asked if would take him the store he wanted to get some beer and I told him he’s doing too much, he just asked for a ride home. Sure, I’ll run ya the store.

We get back to the complex and he asked me if I wanted to come up and have a beer. I explained I didn’t drink and drive and he promised he wouldn’t me. He then asked if I wanted smoke so being the pot head I was, I went. I asked him if he fixed his guitar and he went and got it. We sat and smoked and again talked about music. He told me I wasn’t the stuck up bitch he originally thought I was. Thanks! And he wasn’t the Alabama bomber/serial killer I thought he was. I asked him if was gonna play a song and he asked what I wanted hear. So I picked a song I was for sure he wouldn’t know, George Straits, The Chair. YALL, he got up of his recliner (that was his seat) and asked me to trade seats. I was a bit confused but when he played the first few chords and began to sing, “well excuse but I think you’ve gotten my chair” I about fell out. No fucken way!

Needless to say I grew kinda fond of Sam and of course it lead to sex. No one knew how close we were. We hardly spoke at work. But the ass grabs that no one saw or the time I had go get strawberries out of the walk-in cooler in the kitchen, he’d seen go in there and he came in there just to sneak a kiss and feel me up. Urkle was the only one who knew Sam and I were friends. Jax thought I was joking about some of the things I was really serious about. But that made it fun.

My time with Sam was short lived but I learned everyone deserves a chance. Sometimes the creepy weird ones are not so creepy all.

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