Voor
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Posted:Aug 3, 2014 12:19 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2015 10:46 pm
14550 Views
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Please tell me that when you are with him it is not like when you are with me. Tell me that when you are with me it is unique, special; unlike being with anyone else. Please tell me that what we share brings you somewhere, gives you something that no one else can even come close to.
I don't believe you. You only say this because I have asked you to. You only say this because it is what I want to hear. You only say this to keep getting what you want from me.
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Fishing Stories
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Posted:Jul 16, 2014 12:26 am
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2014 3:32 pm
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So one of my coworkers told a story at work the other day and I simply find it too ludicrously funny to not share. It was a story of a time that he and his now ex wife were having sex one night. You will probably be able to see why they are now divorced.
I guess they were doing it doggy style and he got quite vocal. He kept on shouting "Who's the boss?" and then giving her a *smack* on her ass.
I'm not sure but I think she was probably a little frustrated by this. I think maybe she simply wanted to enjoy the sensations and not answer inane questions. Anyway, apparently she did not answer at first so he kept on doing it.
"Who's the boss?" he would shout. and *smack* on her ass.
Finally she'd had enough and shouted back "You are! Okay?"
"Wrong, bitch! It's Tony Danza!" he yelled and gave the hardest *Smack* on her ass of all.
I'm not sure if the story is true or not. If it is, it might offer some explanation as to why they are no longer married 
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National Women's Day
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Posted:Mar 13, 2014 9:26 pm
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2014 8:48 pm
16283 Views
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Well, belated National Women's Day. Or something like that. Better late than never, right? Anyway, I wanted to make this post before or on last Saturday but I never got to it.
The other day I was out walking my when a car pulled up across the street. A woman got out and then we exchanged greetings. My couldn't see what was happening over the snow bank that was in the way so he was jumping up and trying to get a look. She saw his head pop up, I imagine, and laughed, saying: "Are you checking me out?"
I thought to myself, "I know I'm checking you out! Why don't you turn around so I can get a better look at that ass."
Now, upon thinking that shameful and admittedly disgusting thought three ideas immediately struck me. I imagine if I had thought it out loud three or four other things might have struck me as well. Anyway, it suddenly occurred to me that:
A. How inappropriate would it be to say that out loud??!!
B. I have been watching too many girls on web cams.
C. If it is inappropriate to say that to a complete stranger who pulled up in a car across the street, what makes me think it's ok to type it in a message to a complete stranger who is on web cam?
And that little epiphany of mine is why I find it apt to make this post now and try and tie it into Women's Day. It probably would have helped if I had made it a little closer to the actual date but you know, late for own funeral and all that.
Anyway, I feel I must apologize for all the disrespect that I have shown to women who broadcast on web cam. I realize now how rude I have been and I am truly sorry.
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Irrelevant or irreverent or both
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Posted:Mar 13, 2014 9:06 pm
Last Updated:Oct 14, 2018 8:26 pm
16657 Views
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So I recently found out that my neighbours are a married, lesbian couple and while I have no problem with this at all, of course, I do find myself in a bit of a dilemma; self centered, sex-crazed, sick puppy that I am.
I am simply wondering if it would be ok to covet my neighbour's wife. I mean, I know it's one of the top ten no-nos and all but hey, they started it, right?
Hmmm, maybe if I was only slightly covetous?
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Getting Older
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Posted:Apr 11, 2013 11:25 pm
Last Updated:Aug 1, 2013 10:14 pm
13422 Views
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I returned home today from out gallivanting around and suddenly realized that my favorite toque was no longer on my head. Yes it is still cold enough to be wearing a toque when out gallivanting. Though, at least it's above the freezing mark for day time highs now, I guess.
Anyway, it's my most favoritest toque. It's black and snug and warm and woolly. I got it because it looks very like those toques I used to see tough guys on television and in movies wearing. I think they were usually longshoremen, or burglars or something.
Anyway, I couldn't understand why my favoritest toque wasn't on my head. I was quite distraught as I rooted around in my car searching for it; under the seats and in and around the console. I did find 35 cents I didn't know I had though.
Visions of having to retrace my gallivanting steps of the day flashed through my mind. I particularly didn't want to have to go back to the licensing bureau (DMV), where I had been to renew my drivers license, and wait in line again just to see if they had a lost and found. I wonder what kind of form I would have to fill out for that? And how many different people I would have to talk to?
Distraught, I turned to enter my home; contemplating what life would be like without my favoritest toque. I reached into my coat pocket for my keys and hooray! There was my favoritest toque! It had been in my coat pocket all that time. Somehow it was the licensing bureau's fault, I'm sure. They made me take it off to get my picture taken.
Anyway, senility setting in at 37. Woe!
I suppose it could have been worse though. It could have been on my head the whole time 
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Flim Night
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Posted:Mar 23, 2013 1:06 am
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2013 1:19 am
12846 Views
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Tonight I was fortunate enough to be able to attend the 28th annual film night put on by the Provincial Archives of Alberta. This event is a good way to see some local history through movies captured from the early silent film era right up today. It was free tonight too! It takes place in an old time movie house that has a balcony and smells of popcorn, oddly enough. Seriously though it's actually cool location; kind of dark, dim and dreary but warm and alluring at the same time. I wish I could describe it in a more articulate fashion. Anyway, I got side tracked again.
The theme tonight was a kind of a double feature. Firstly, Film is Dead; Long Live Film! a Showcase which highlighted the changing world of motion pictures being digitized instead of recorded onto film and the inherent issues that follow this change. Something that I don't know that much about and had assumed had happened years ago. The second part of the evening was a feature length film, The Naked Flame and was a complete and somewhat pleasant surprise for me. It was an example of a "nudie cutie" film from the early 1960s and was filmed here in Alberta. For the most part it was actually filmed in the small town I grew up in, in the mountains. Speaking of mountains, I got to see boobies  And not only that, but I got to see the familiar landmarks of my hometown as they looked then. Sadly, I'm not sure which excited me more. They were certainly nice boobies though. 
Anyway, I think the people at the archives really wanted to show off their new toy; a digital film scanner. They showed a couple of short films using a 16mm projector and then had a little intermission to explain that in the second half of the showcase the would show films they had scanned from 16mm film in the archive and digitized. Including one of the short films we had just seen in it's original 16mm form. I am not discerning enough of a film buff to have noticed much of a difference to tell you the truth. The image in the second film was clearer and it didn't have those pops and crackles that are usually there with 16mm film. Other than that it wasn't a whole lot different to me with my layman's eye.
The intermission was also used to explain the issues surrounding the digitization of films and how it relates to archives in particular. Apparently digital storage is not very safe in the long term and can be corrupted and made inaccessible quite easily. Also the technology and software surrounding digital film making is changing rapidly which leads to obsolescence at an unsustainable rate. (taken from the program.) (sorry.)
Oh and lastly, with the availability of technology and software any Tom, Dick or Harry and his can make and distribute films via the internet. Youtube was not mentioned. I heard Harry's makes some good movies though (not taken from the program.) (yay!)
The second part of the double feature, The Naked Flame, was a pleasant surprise for me, like I said. It followed the story of a small town with an active and somewhat secretive and mysterious denomination of the Doukhobors. I had only heard stories of the Doukhobors prior to tonight. Strange tales of women setting their property on fire and stripping naked. Which probably only happened once but these sorts of things tend to get blown out of proportion I am thinking. Not that a film company from Hollywood would ever do that!
From what I understand the Doukhobors are a religious sect from Russia that emigrated to Canada in large numbers and founded communities. Much the same way Mennonites, Hutterites and as far as I know, the Amish did. Though not knowing enough of the details I would hesitate to compare the various peoples further than that.
In the 1900s there was apparently some political strife and some Doukhobor men and women took it upon themselves to protest government interference by stripping naked and setting fire to their houses. The film tonight eluded to the idea that they were presenting themselves naked before God for judgment and the public humiliation was part of their punishment to themselves for their transgressions. It was a little confusing to me. There seems to be a plethora of info on them online though.
The presenter tonight categorized the film as part of the exploitation (I think he meant sexploitation but wouldn't say that) genre of films. I was uncomfortable with this label as I am with most labels, and having seen many such sexploitation films. I felt that this film did not belong in this category. It was a bit of a hokey movie really. But there was no full frontal nudity nor sexual content of any kind. Just glamorous models acting as protesters and stripping then burning stuff. I was gratified to see that IMDB classified it as being of the cutie nudie genre. Which I had never heard of before but was gratified all the same. IMDB thy word is gospel I suppose I shouldn't get bogged down by semantics. This post is long enough already!
Anyway, a change of pace for me tonight. Some interesting films and not too uninteresting subjects presented. The added bonus of getting to see boobies and some scenes of my hometown was a nice surprise. I hope you had a nice Friday night too and have a good weekend.
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Touche interwebs. Well played.
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Posted:Jan 29, 2013 10:07 pm
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2013 11:33 pm
12550 Views
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I've been perusing pornographic material online for quite a while now and I thought I'd seen just about everything. I thought I'd become quite jaded and I was sure I wouldn't see anything more that would disgust me. I was wrong!
This all started because I had a hankering to find a humorous video of a cumshot that I had first seen years ago. It was of a guy, I think it might have been Peter North, cumming on a woman's face and one of the spurts came out so rapidly that it struck the woman's 80s style hair with quite the dramatic recoil affect. Someone had created this short video with a perfectly timed gun shot sound and then even showed it in slow motion.
I was unsuccessful in my search but I did come across something that grossed me out so it wasn't a complete failure, I suppose. If anyone remembers seeing that vid and can find it again, let me know.
Anyway, it seems that there is an audience out there for watching a man cum in a woman's mouth and then have that cum dribble out of her nostrils...
I'm sure there is an audience for just about anything but, well, yuck. I just can't see how anyone would be turned on by that.
Is this some new trend in the money shot idea? Or is the porn industry raising the bar to new and more disgusting heights or what? There seemed to be a lot of animated gifs with this happening. Maybe it's only a very narrow niche in the industry though.
I can't help thinking of the time someone told me a very funny joke when I'd just taken a big drink of milk though.
Yuck.
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The Earth Mother
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Posted:Jan 14, 2013 11:25 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2013 1:43 pm
10735 Views
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Apologies in advance for objectifying women in this post. It's something I do a lot of when I am typing with one hand. Which, sadly, is also something I do a lot of.
I just wanted to use my blog to express my appreciation of the Earth Mother. Or the interpretation of her in the famous paleolithic sculpture Venus of Willendorf (pictured ((I hope))). I am enamoured more perhaps with the image of what I see as the ideal woman. Which this particular artifact captures very well. Even if it is in a primitive fashion. And I am also saddened that, because of a very few people who are supposed to know what they are talking about, the general ideal that is portrayed has changed and evolved into the toothpick figures we see in the media today.
I first saw a picture of the Venus of Willendorf when I was at college taking an anthropology course and I was enthralled. Even seeing it again now, the large, pendulous breasts, big, round tummy and strong, thick thighs fill me with strong desire and, at the risk of being irreverent, reverence.
It's such an awful shame that in the media of today the portrayal of the ideal woman borders on anorexia. It's unrealistic, unhealthy and in my opinion unattractive. The latter being unimportant when compared to the first two. It also saddens me to see women, even friends and loved ones, torture themselves to meet the ridiculous expectations of other people.
And before anyone asks: I did not make this post for brownie points. I am simply venting while at the same time showing my appreciation.
PS If the image file didn't load and you are curious try clicking the link that is the title of my blog. Or look up the Earth Mother on the interwebs.
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The wonderous nasal time machine
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Posted:Jan 6, 2013 4:57 pm
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2013 10:37 am
8098 Views
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My television told me that scent is the sense that is closest tied to memory and I believe it to be true. Even if it was my TV what told me so.
I was out walking the today when I was suddenly, wonderfully, arousingly transported back in time to the 7th grade. Out of no where came the scent of a musky, sweet, quite probably cheap perfume that my art teacher, Ms Boutet used to wear frequently. I was surprised to smell it again, suddenly and out of the blue like that. I looked around but I couldn't see anyone near. I was shocked at my reaction as well. I felt the familiar, tingling onset of arousal in my groin and the stiffening against my restraining jeans.
The smell isn't exactly nice or pleasant per say. But it is very arousing. Maybe my hormone fueled memory of where and when I smelled it before clouds my judgment though.
Ms Boutet was very sexy. Smelling the perfume again brought back vivid memories of her slim body in her short, black skirt and tight black sweater. Of her swarthy complexion, her full, dark red lips and of her dark brown eyes and long brown hair.
She wore that same black sweater all the time. I think the perfume was a kind of mask to cover her own body odor. For some reason this aroused me even more. Her small breasts were perky and she rarely wore a bra so they moved freely and you could see them clearly outlined under the black wool. I remember smelling her over-powering perfume in the school halls and then hearing the echo of her black, high heeled boots. My senses heightened and alert to her presence.
I wish I could better articulate what smelling that perfume again was like for me. It instantly brought back images of the fantasies I used to have of Ms Boutet. And the vivid images of her in my imagination. I wonder if she knew how much I wanted to reach up under her sweater from behind and squeeze her breasts? I imagine a lot of my class mates had similar designs. I wonder if she had any inkling of the primal, animal lust her cheap perfume and little black sweater used to engender in me? I imagine she'd probably be pretty creeped out by it. Even now.
To be fair, and to take my hands of my cock for a moment, if you will, Ms Boutet was a very good art teacher as well. I remember people being astounded when finding out that some of the artwork that adorned our school halls was by students at the school. I know she didn't paint them herself but she was exceptional at being able to help other people develop their own talent. Thank you for your time, Ms Boutet. And for the memories
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Preying on the Lonely hearted - Part II
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Posted:Dec 30, 2012 11:08 pm
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2013 2:45 pm
8080 Views
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As a sort of follow up to my last post I thought I would type out some additional thoughts and observations. I know people have been dying to find out more about this!
The messages have continued!! The same vague 1 or two line messages from profiles stating they are ladies in my area. (please see my last blog if you are curious about the messages) I actually had a reply to my equally vague response to one of them too!(they probably couldn't understand why I only wished her good luck finding something to help her out with that itch she couldn't scratch by herself rather than jumping at the opportunity myself). By this time I had found the block button on the messenger so the point is moot
I've always wanted to use the word moot in a blog post. I'm not sure if I used it in the correct context.
I also noticed that I am receiving a lot more views, flirts and hotlists since becoming a standard member. If I knew I'd get so much more attention I'd have stayed standard in the first place
Anyway, I noticed a link at the bottom of the home page the other day that leads to information for webmasters. You can make some good money by referring people to this site and having them purchase a membership. I'm not quite sure how that works though. I mean, when they sign up do they say "so and so said I should purchase a membership so here I am" and then poof, so and so gets a gold star or something? Maybe so and so sends them a link to purchase a membership that has some kind of personal tracker attached. That would mean that so and so could have multiple profiles as well!
Semantics aside, I have a feeling that the reason I am getting all this attention now that I am a standard member may have something to do with this referral program. I mean, you don't have to purchase a membership yourself and you can make $100 americun for getting 30 people to purchase a membership. That may seem like a lot of people, but it's not really when you think that you can create a profile, or multiple profiles possibly, and say that you are from anywhere, of any sex and any species.
Anyway, I'm sure this will continue and I'll have many more adventures to share
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To link to this blog (Hardupfosho) use [blog Hardupfosho] in your messages.
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