Men are from Mars ...  

Granny872 66F  
28 posts
4/15/2019 7:57 pm
Men are from Mars ...

It is no secret to anyone men's and women's attitudes about sex, love, lust and relationships can be wildly different, depending on whether you are talking about different cultures, historical periods of time, generational groups or racial populations.

Whereas men are 'typically' most influenced and drawn to the visual stimulation of sex, women are 'typically' most influenced and drawn to the psychological satisfactions (the looks, touches, words) at least when it comes to sexual relationships. Men are primarily driven by physical urges, women by emotional urges.

But are these differences because of biology, physiology or are they because of psychology? T.h.a.t. is, do we behave like men or women (in terms of relationships) because our biology is in charge of our emotions and behaviors or because we have been culturally molded by our environment to think and act like a 'man' or 'woman' ?? Well, yes and yes I think.

In "Love, Sex and the Brain" author Dr. Louann Brizendine states 'Perhaps the biggest difference between the and female brain is men have a sexual pursuit area is 2.5 times larger than the one in the female brain. Not only t.h.a.t., but beginning in their teens, they produce 20 to 25-fold more testosterone than they did during pre-adolescence. If testosterone were beer, a 9 would be getting the equivalent of a cup a day. But a 15 would be getting the equivalent of nearly two gallons a day. This fuels their sexual engines and makes it impossible for them to stop thinking about female body parts and sex.'

But environment plays a role too. Think of religion, culture and social movements and how they have shaped and influenced social responses to marriage, courtship, civil society and behavior. American dating norms versus the coming of age rituals of the Kreung tribe of Cambodia ... look it .

Given such varying influences and factors, isn't it amazing all men and women manage (ever) to find satisfaction with each other?

Love, Sex and the Brain article accessed http://Senior

The person who dumps garbage into your mind will do you considerably more harm than the person who dumps garbage on your floor, because each load of mind garbage negatively impacts your possibilities and lowers your expectations ~~~ Zig Ziglar

only_lurking 54M  
276 posts
4/15/2019 8:16 pm

When the "Men Are From Mars" book first came out, I said to my then wife "Women Are From Uranus". As I remember it, she was not amused.

chaso5 60M  
6567 posts
4/15/2019 8:17 pm

Yes it is amazing when you look at it that way but then we do have some good bits which do fit very well together!

jajo696 64F  
303 posts
4/15/2019 8:22 pm

well....this bring up a good point. Do they ever really find sexual compatibility in a long term relationship ? Sure....the intial phases seem workable, doable but after a certain time, those physical urges differ. Part of it is lifestyle, responsibility, temperment , illness, aging etc. I would venture to say that physiology plays a part as well, as along with psyche. Women of a certain age, are socialized to believe sexual relations are for procreation only, and it is not to be enjoyed for pleasure. That pleasure is reserved for men. Hence , once the baby making years are over, the box closes and the women say ( whew ) as they no longer have to endure that ...for their man. Many, many men on this very site, are here because their partners have shut down, for whatever reasons. I would love to survey those partners and ask.....what is their guy supposed to do? Doesnt seem quite fair for one to expect their other to shut off the sexual part of their life too. So, i wonder if the Mars n Venuses of the world ever truly do find satisfaction, in all areas of their existence. ~~

clittywhisperer1 54M
1126 posts
4/15/2019 9:22 pm

All the differences are usually described by personality type primarily , and life experience from upbringing after that .Women overwhelmingly have a primary sensing feeling personality type as most common .Isfj or esfj ,next up is isfp esfp ,istj istp estp estj .The lead function of their brain is sensing followed by strong lead feeling .This is a nurturing personality .Best suited to care for others , empathize and with strong common sense responses for practical deeds to help others .They are mostly traditionalists most comfortable with well proven well known actions and traditions that should not be broken ,Going outside of the comfortable brings huge stress and anxiety which they are ill equipped to handle physiologically , emotionally and mentally .Men are overwhelmingly lead thinkers and intuitive. intp intj entj entp .the lead function is awareness of the big picture and thinking of what it means for further action .This leads to problem solving and solution driven thought ,with little consideration for any feeling or input from senses until later if indicated .This worked best when we were hunter gatherers in small tribal groups . It works kind of crappy in an overly technical , complex stress filled non defined society like we have now . it is all wired in at birth and changes as we age and experience things .I have to think about what an emotional person would want me do in a situation because i do not have much feeling function naturally .I find emotion based persons to be exhausting , immature , silly ,unrealistic and difficult to deal with .

IVFalternative 48M
281 posts
4/15/2019 11:17 pm

Hearing a lesbian describe the deterioration and breakup of her 22 year marriage, what struck me was that except for the pronouns it sounded exactly the same as any hetero relationship.

Exercising muscles releases testosterone. Physically fit women women tend to be pretty horny.

Whether you are male or female, if you have a sex drive and your monogamous partner shuts down, you either learn to turn them on or it's over. The reality is they're usually only turned off to you, no matter what they tell you or themselves. When someone else turns them on, it will overwhelm them and they will fuck with wild abandon.

If someone doesn't want you, it's not good to stay with them. Better off to find someone who does want you, or be by yourself.

Following my advice may cause injury, insanity, financial loss, hemorrhoids, death and superpowers

justskin1 67M  
11113 posts
4/17/2019 6:20 am

I have always thought the typical "Nature vs Nurture" (Genes vs Culture) has always been looked at as too much of an either/or proposition. While Genes do make some difference I think culture makes more in the attitudes of men and women to sex. As for that crap book, Men are From Mars, Women from Venus, my ex-wife thought is was so accurate and I saw so many "telling" points about men that she fit to a T but not I, and many for women that I fit very well she lacked. I considered it a nice propaganda piece to put men and women into nice little pigeonholes and define expectations rather than reality.

If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."

I always behave. Preferably not well.

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