Why do people think dating and relationship is base on sex ?  

G000dbuddy 34M  
967 posts
3/22/2022 11:39 pm
Why do people think dating and relationship is base on sex ?


Can you honestly think of one relationship that you know what wasn't? If you can, then I would question its reality.

Whether one believes the bible or not, even in that book sex has always dominated the allegories between God and his followers.

Sex was designed as a natural part of a relationship, it was created to be the very special 'glue' that helped bond people to be like a well glued joint in furniture.

The issue is that many people do not realise or recognise the joining of the soul that occurs during sex and after sex. It is more than just a physical act.

Sure it is not the whole of a relationship, but it is certainly an importance part of any relationship (that is marriage like).

Without it, one can have just good friendships and these are possible with all sorts of people that do not constitute a marriage type relationship.

Even governments worldwide recognise that sex is an important determinant that defines a marriage, even when dealing with divorce.

Some marriages have been annulled legally without having to divorce because there was no sex between the 'partners'. One can live with another as a house mate, but this does not constitute a marriage. It is the sex that makes it what is generally recognised as a committed relationship of exclusivity (marriage or de facto relationship).

goodbuddy781


G000dbuddy 34M  
1676 posts
3/22/2022 11:41 pm

Havl, Sex during a courtship dating relationship is forbidden in the Bible. Sex outside of a marriage is considered a sin, s*xual immorality, fornication... which Bible are you reading? confused

Any time a relationship is based on sex BEFORE it has been established in a marriage it never works, unless that couple knows they're betrothed to each other and are getting married, but they still should wait until marriage...

How many men or women does a person have to sleep with while dating before finding a man or woman who understands the importance of a relationship is not about sex, but it is about RELATING to each other, getting to know a person, having all things in common in thinking, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually? The physical is sex, who do you know who doesn't have this in common?

So you sleep with this one, and it doesn't work out, then you move on to the next one, and that doesn't work out, then what? Keep going until you find someone?... Naaaw! That's why there are so many s*xual transmitted diseases out there... and this is also why so much mess is carried from one relationship to the other, when a man sleeps with a woman he has joined himself to her, and when that relationship breaks up, the woman finds it difficult to let go, because he has deposited parts of himself in her, and they have become as one...

If a man can't be in a dating relationship with a woman without having sex, then the woman should be wise enough to know he is not the one for her... because soon as things goes wrong and she says no to sex, then he's gone to another woman, But if the relationship is not based on sex, and things go wrong and she says no to sex, that man is still going to be by her side, because he is after her heart and mind, not her body in sex.

There are many men and women in their 30's and 40'who are virgins waiting for marriage to share themselves with their marriage partner.. And I praise them, because if sex waits until marriage then that's called self-control and discipline, and this kind cord will not be easily broken..

goodbuddy781


G000dbuddy 34M  
1676 posts
3/22/2022 11:47 pm

Other comments
BTW, Halv, Paul warns Timothy to flee(run) from fornication. And Revelation chapter 21:8; I Corinthians chapter 5, we are told that no fornicators will enter the kingdom of heaven. Again, there is nowhere in the Bible where God condones sex before marriage, and if you continue reading I Corinthians chapter 6, you will also find that we as Christians will be judging angels and others when we reign with Christ in the kingdom... so who told you, Christians are not suppose to judge sin? This is what the world would have us to believe to take the focus off their sins... but where it is that God tells Christians not to judge such matter? No place!.. that's a lie of the devil! God has never told Christians not to righteously judge SINS!

goodbuddy781


G000dbuddy 34M  
1676 posts
3/26/2022 12:47 am

Other comments 2
Not everyone on here (or R is looking for a relationship. Some are just looking for "fun".

It is up to you to find someone who is compatible and has similar goals. Just don't entertain any of the others if that's not what you want

goodbuddy781


G000dbuddy 34M  
1676 posts
3/26/2022 12:49 am

Other comments 3
you know the problem with many guys who think sex makes a relationship. These are they who have nothing else going for themselves, and think sex is the way to a woman's heart... and most men don't even know the difference between sex and making love, and can't do neither well rolling on the floor laughing
And forget commitment, they have no idea the meaning of the word..

goodbuddy781


G000dbuddy 34M  
1676 posts
3/26/2022 12:53 am

Other comments 4
it is that in the bible it is God that defines marriage, not man and that definition included sex. I don't read of a wedding ceremony with Adam and Eve. I don't read of a document signed by a minister or a celebrant. I don't read of rings being exchanged, I don't even read that they were wearing any clothes at the time of their marriage.

Let us have a look at one who did what was 'wrong' at the command of God.

His name is Hosea. He not only married a known promiscuous woman, but after she had sex with numerous other men, and ended up in a sex slave market, he bought her back and 'loved' her as his wife yet again.

This was in direct contravention with the command that is found that said, "Then suppose she marries another man, and he also decides that he doesn't want her, so he also writes out divorce papers, gives them to her, and sends her away from his home. Or suppose her second husband dies. In either case, her first husband is not to marry her again; he is to consider her defiled. If he married her again, it would be offensive to the LORD. You are not to commit such a terrible sin in the land that the LORD your God is giving you."

Was Hosea wrong? Not at all, he did exactly what he was told to do by God, according to the texts. Was he sinning? No. He did exactly what he was told to do by God. As a matter of fact, he loved her despite what happened in their past.

This is just one example where it is not people who make the judgement, but God, despite what is looks like to people.

Even when dating, honestly, sex is in the mind. The anticipation of it with the new found love, even if it is not acted upon until marriage. Is this wrong? Is this a sin? Of course not. It is the natural way and part of attraction.

Sure there are some, as Paul wrote, who can live without it, like himself, but as he openly acknowledged, not many could. What was his wise advice? Did his point of view include marriage for himself without sex?

Yes, the bible that I have read is the same bible used by christianity all over. But I read what it actually says, not what people believe it to say. It is not the literal text that is so important, as it is the intentions in the words. This is exemplified countless times in story after story in this book.

Actually, Jesus also counted false accusations against him by saying almost the same thing. For example when there was teaching at that time about eating 'unclean' foods, and Jesus plainly said that physical food goes through the digestive process and out the other end and that was not what he was talking about.

For this OP, it may be good to not have sex. But if one wants to enter into a marriage type relationship, as defined by those things that make a marriage a marriage (whether recognised on a piece of paper or not) then sex with the partner, from my perspective, is an integral part of that at some point.

goodbuddy781


G000dbuddy 34M  
1676 posts
3/26/2022 12:58 am

Business works on this kind of relationship. We call them 'business partnerships'. It is so obvious to any person that a relationship without sex is not a marriage type relationship.

I feel confident that the OP's dating would be with the view to finding that special person who she would marry.

Of course, I might be wrong.

In any event, given the assumption that this thread is about dating and relationship that leads to an exclusive relationship that is akin to marriage, then what you have quoted is consistent with what I have said. That sex is a part of any marriage type relationship.

I am not saying that sex should be part of the courtship process, just that it should not be surprising that when seeking a marriage partner, sex will eventually be a wonderful, and often occurrence in that relationship at some stage (usually after the vows are taken).

My point is also that marriage is not defined by man, but by God. Therefore a person can be married by man, but not by God. This is something that Christians don't consider.

Jesus actually said "therefore what God has joined, let no man separate". He never said "therefore what man has joined...."

This is a huge revelation for many, because it frees women who believe and have been forced into marriages through various cultures freedom from guilt if they escape and then want to remarry out of love to another.

It is not a legal definition that defines marriage, it is a devine definition.

Yes, I do read the bible for what it says, and the conclusions I reach are vastly different to main-stream Christianity.

So it was when Jesus preached, that his radical views were so controversial, that the religious had exclamations about him that he was demon possessed, crazy, and to be killed for blasphemy, why he even dared to socialise with the most immoral people in his society. Something any good religious person wouldn't even do today.

How's that for someone preaching from the same bible they had back then and reaching conclusions vastly different to the mainstream religious believers of that day?

Contrary to some views, the teachings of Jesus promotes sex as a wholesome, wonderful experience that most definitely should be enjoyed and participated in, with that special someone that one has entered into the exclusive relationship that defines marriage, whether one has a piece of paper, or a ceremony to publicly acknowledge it, or not.

When talking about the surrogacy of Jesus, Joseph at that time had no knowledge about artificial insemination, and so erroneously concluded that Mary had sex with some other fellow after being married to him. In those days, engagement to someone was considered to be married, hence it says that he wanted to quietly put her aside (or divorce) her.

It took a direct revelation about the surrogacy for Joseph to understand what was happening. Why was there no mention in the taunts from Jesus' enemies that he was illegitimate? Because pregnancy in those days often happened amongst engaged couples as well (that had not had the formal marriage ceremony). They were still considered to have been married and therefore not in breach of the sex laws in that day

goodbuddy781


616Links 24M
3 posts
3/26/2022 7:39 pm

Plays a big role in it


G000dbuddy 34M  
1676 posts
3/31/2022 2:37 am

Men: 30s and Early 40s

Many men continue to have a strong sex drive through these years, though testosterone starts to slowly decrease around age 35. It typically goes down by about 1% per year, but it could be faster for some men. This could have some effect on your sex drive. Plus, for many men, the stress of work, family, and other commitments can affect how interested you are in sex.

Men: 50s and Beyond
If you’re in good physical and mental health, there’s no reason you shouldn’t continue to enjoy your sex life as you get older. ED does become more common as you age. Your erections may happen less often and may be less firm. But it’s not age itself that causes the problem as much as health problems that become more common with age, like heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, and obesity, and the drugs that treat them. Your doctor can talk to you about your options for treating ED.

Men: It’s Not Just Testosterone

You need some testosterone to get aroused, but it’s not clear how much. It may vary from person to person. And though it’s true your levels decline with age, scientists don’t know exactly how this affects sex drive. Some men with “low” testosterone show normal sex drive, while others with high levels have sexual problems. Other medical issues, physical fitness, and mental health could be more important factors.
From:web

goodbuddy781


G000dbuddy 34M  
1676 posts
3/31/2022 2:52 am

When it comes to women, the rule does not follow along with the same guidelines as for men. In general, women report their minimum age requirements are much higher than the rule.
For example, a woman in her 40s, according to the rule, considers a man 27 years or older as acceptable. Nevertheless, surveys show women are much more comfortable with a man 35 or older, much closer to their age. Even when fantasizing, their minimum age is much closer to their own age.

Why the “cougar” label is unfair?
It really comes down to what you feel comfortable with. We’re back to that old social “norms” thing again. There’s a certain stigma attached to dating someone who is considerably older or younger than you. However, very unfairly, this tends to be a lot harsher on women.

You’ve no doubt heard the word “cougar”. This means that an older woman is dating a younger man. The guy is clapped by his friends for bagging an older, more experienced woman, but the woman tends to get judged. Far too many women have experienced this and then ended the relationship because of the whispers behind her back. But, is this fair? If she’s truly in love, why should it matter what age the guy is, as long as he’s legally old enough and they both care about each other..Who made this dating age rule?

goodbuddy781


G000dbuddy 34M  
1676 posts
4/5/2022 2:36 am

I think it's a bit more complicated with females but hey, guess what, they cheat as well.

It is good to be truthful.
But blaming it on being a man is a bit disingenuous.
Not all men cheat, even if it handed to them on a platter
And yes, women do cheat as well. Often for different reasons though.

no one deserves to get cheated on, and no one has a reason or an excuse to cheat . Life is hard. Commitment is hard. its a choice.

Other comments
For cheating are always two involved. One has expactations and the other do not fullfill those. So the first says that the second cheats. But the second will say that he act because the first one was not respecting first the agreement.
So every one is cheating on every one. But always is only one who will acuse first

goodbuddy781


G000dbuddy 34M  
1676 posts
4/11/2022 1:34 am

Men say this as well sometimes, maybe not as much, I don't know I don't read women's profiles. I would not meet up with anyone who wants this in a partner anyway, it makes me think they have a boring life without laughter or that they feel they are very funny themselves and people that think they are funny usually are not. Laughing is not something that can be forced, if you click you will laugh a lot but a good joke will not make a difference if there is nothing else there.
Most important to some women is a man who can make them laugh.Laugh as in funny ,not as clown.
A woman can be happier and relaxed in the company of a happy man who makes them laugh than in company of a very rich man with no good sense of humour.
Money cannot buy happiness.

goodbuddy781


G000dbuddy 34M  
1676 posts
4/13/2022 4:44 am

Other comments 2
By my standard i think i'm pretty much ok financially, some women don't know what they want, until its gone.Too many times women regret what had until its gone. The grass always look greener on the other side,Do women really appreciates a good man?

Stay good and be true to who you are.
ps: the grass is greener on the other side cos it's fertilized with BS

goodbuddy781


G000dbuddy 34M  
1676 posts
4/13/2022 4:52 am

Man: I find myself attracting the wrong kind of women, so i created this forum to have some females perspective on the topic.

Womanssentially, the simplest thing you can do, is stop declaring that you're a good man.

If you're a good man, people will know that by your actions. Not because you've told them.

Man: I'm not declaring that i'm a good man, the question was, What does a good man have to do to find genuine love?

Woman:You just declared it in your second sentence.

Don't claim to be a good person just be one.

Woman'm not declaring that i'm a good man, the question was, What does a good man have to do to find genuine love?[/quote you stay good and keep love true,,, If you find you are giving this goodness to someone that does not appreciate it than move on and find someone who will .

Mano some women knows what true love is?

Woman: I do,,,,,it is when a woman can respect a man no matter what he does and still love him through his faults

true love from a man is when he can unconditionally make the sacrifices it is going to take to love her and there will be a lot and hopefully made with unconditional love ,,,think about it like this there are things you may not WANT to do for her but need to do it because in her brain its registered as LOVE,,,example,,,,make breakfast for her and bring it to her bedside with a flower and a simple I love you,,,,you may not want to or even feel like it but do it you need to,,,,to lay some Love foundation,,,its a must,,,happy wife happy life .

goodbuddy781


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