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Sunshine Radiant  

EroticMusings2 58F  
1578 posts
2/17/2022 2:45 am
Sunshine Radiant

This has been quite a journey in much bigger soul searching than I ever thought it would be. In fact when I joined this site this time, I thought it would be just finding a lover, and that was it. Or if not then just to blog. I have always loved to write though in general I do not really plan out what I will ever write about. It just comes as my hands hover over the keyboard.

I found myself though this time on the site, seeing a pattern of pushing men away once they started to get too close. Fear of being hurt again, and realizing that even saying friends with benefits doesn't work for me if I am not actually friends with you which takes time to develop before you ever go hand in hand to the bedroom. I think sex should be a beautiful dance of two people expressing a strong like for each other by engaging in some naked twister and hoping we can both still walk the next day - lol.

I found that I had gotten into a darkness within my soul that I needed to work on. Starting with standing up for myself and not being such a pleaser to everyone around me at the cost of my happiness. That I was never going to be cared about by the right type of people if I did not, especially if I did not learn to love myself. Flaws and all, because we are all so very flawed at teh core of our existence sometimes.

So this meant even in my marriage. My marriage is a very lonely existence to me right now. But I will always stay becauses I do love him, but I am not in love with him at all. I even tried to see if there was a flicker of a chance to recapture that and there is not. At least not right now, who knows about the far future So you have this void, which needs to be filled. I am a very sexual person, something my husband wishes I was not. But this is who I am, and I am not going to be ashamed of having needs.

Being in a open marraige is a good thing for us, or else I would have to divorce. Because I do have the need to be held tight, kissed with the passion of a fiery soul smouldering underneath. To see and here and feel that desire from a man. A man who would look into my eyes and see so much, and understand both of our needs. To not be ashamed to have emotions and even show them to me. Not treat me like I will do for now until someone better is found. To me that is like telling me that I am not good enough for you. I call bullshit on that one.

I am unique, and very intense. I know this, and my mind is always going. I am always driven to create, write, learn, and nurture. I want to make everyone feels good about this precious thing we call life. Life is very hard at times, like taking care of my husband post surgery. But I am managing though I want to crawl into bed and weep because of the pain in my arms and shoulders. But I have faith that next I will tackle getting some help for this.

I even am starting to feel good about myself. I do not allow anyone to mistreat me now. And my heart and soul are both feeling very excited and joyous. Sunshine is such a wonderful breathe of fresh air.

I am stepping into the cornucopia rays of welcoming sunshine and enjoying the beauty around me. Healing day by day from so much and I do thank each one of you, my friends for always being here with me. I do not think I would be healing like I am either without each of you. Even those of you that read but do not comment, I feel you too.

Dance naked in the rain

Ann


*Creative Outlets of All Forms thru Me*


spunkycumfun 62M/67F  
41171 posts
2/17/2022 4:40 am

It's good that you are healing.


WyoCowboy7751 69M
2537 posts
2/17/2022 5:52 am

It's nice sometimes to just put words to paper, a computer or the blogs 🤗 Just as you have done here and those words are SO heartfelt by many of us 🥰 Always keep that Caribbean Sunshine in your Heart and Mind and continue on that healing path 🤩🤠


Paulxx001 65M  
22616 posts
2/17/2022 6:23 am

Dancing 🎶 naked in the rain ☔...
... sounds like a plan. 👍 ❗ ❗

Except today — it's ten degrees out there. We'd freeze. 😁


SilverFoxMark66 68M
286 posts
2/17/2022 9:38 am

Amen to all that, be yourself, it's always the most attractive to others


fang070 51M
1309 posts
2/17/2022 10:34 am

I do not comment regularly on all the blogs I read, but I''m Glad to read about the progress on your healing process.

Early this week a fellow blogger from Spanish blogs was asking if a quality date, or even relationship, can be found at this site, rather than a express quickie without any commitment with partner pleasure and enjoyment.
Definitely you and your Caribbean Sunshine are the proof that it is possible, not easy but possible.

.

Ultima publicacion: (16/FEB ) Ser agua
Puedes contactarme en MI BUZON o q:1642318, o fuera donde dice mi buzon


Pleasures4You123 66M  
25 posts
2/18/2022 7:35 am

Self awareness can be invaluable, especially when we want something different in our lives and we begin on a pathway of healing. May all of us find that Caribbean Sunshine that you so eloquently describe and desire !!


TheRedLion 66M  
28 posts
3/14/2022 8:51 am

Come to the light and enjoy the passion of your life.


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