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Like a Grey's Anatomy Episode or something...  

EnigmaInitiative 52F
2121 posts
9/10/2020 8:26 am
Like a Grey's Anatomy Episode or something...

Continued, first comment because word gremlins.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna

EnigmaInitiative 52F
4056 posts
9/10/2020 8:26 am

I have started and erased several intros to this story because I am struggling, still, with what I've been through this week. It's been surreal, my friends, like I feel as though I've lived through one of those slow building medical drama television shows. You know, like Grey's Anatomy or something.

You know, I'm this youngish, hip, incredibly sexy woman (let me live my fucking fantasy, it's been a difficult week, mmmkay?) who goes to the emergency room thinking I may have been infected by the pandemic currently plaguing our world only to find out that I actually had a heart attack and needed minor surgery. Then, complications ensue to a dramatic climax with an eventual “happy” ending.

So, let me stop hyping up what happened and just tell you all how it all went down. Last Thursday night, I was lying in bed watching television when I started feeling a pain in my chest. That pain moved to my neck, and I started sweating. There was a tightness to my chest, but it wasn't like I was struggling to breathe by any means. I could take full, deep breaths without issue. No, heart attack wasn't the first thing to come to mind, I'm young...dammit. Ha.

(To be clear, it probably should have. My father passed from heart attack at 47, and his father before him at 55.)

It wasn't like it hurt, hurt. More like a twinge, but add in the sweating and traveling to my neck while feeling a bit lightheaded? Yeah, I went to Roommate 1's room and told him I think I needed to go to the Emergency Room. Which, of course, concerned him when I told him the symptoms.

Once hooked up to the EKG, doc came in and said:

“It looks like you had a cardiac event, but we'll need to wait for the labs to confirm. But, you're definitely going to be admitted tonight, because you'll need a cardiac workup in the morning with a stress test”.

Yeah, I was scared, but I kept my spirits up through ridiculous jokes.

I'm lying on the CT Table, and they're struggling to find a vein. (My arms...people...my arms are FULL of bruises, I look like a domestic abuse survivor, seriously). Nurse says:

“Is it okay if I stick you again? I'm so sorry”.

My answer:

“Sure, that's what I get for having such meaty arms”

Radiology tech and nurse burst out laughing, I feel less stressed.

Win win

The doc comes back in the room after all the lab results come in to tell me that it's been confirmed that I had a mild heart attack, and no longer needed a stress test...I was going straight to cardiac catheterization.

Not the happiest of news, but hey...it wasn't that bad. It was mild, I was okay, and though I knew I was going to have to make some life changes: I wasn't worried.

I'm just going to insert here that my hair was the talk of the hospital. Lort, it was ego inducing the amount of compliments I got on it.

Saturday morning, they did the cardiac catheterization. There was a blockage that apparently my doctor didn't see on the screen, but saw on paper after he took out the tube. Yeah, don't ask, I don't know...I don't get it either. So, I needed a stent, but had to have another procedure to put it in.

Whatever, the food sucked, but the people were pleasant. If I had to do it again, I had to do it again. I sure wasn't going to say no. There was an eighty percent blockage in one of my vessels that needed fixing and damned if I wasn't going to allow them to repair it.

Sunday morning, another visit to the cardiac lab. This time, they put in the stent, and sent me to the floor with the sheath still in my femoral artery. All went well in terms of the surgery, and I was on track to a full recovery.


It came time to take out the sheath.

So, look, I almost died. Not hyperbole, no joke, totally serious. I was so close to death that they couldn't get a blood pressure and I...well...I actually was so fucking scared that I was screaming until I could scream no more.

It boils down to the fact that the nurse let up on the pressure too much after removing the sheath because they couldn't find my pulse in my foot. The sheath that was in my femoral artery. Blood shooting everywhere, my groin blew up to the size of a volleyball. It was a....thing...a whole...shebang.

I was sweating so profusely, I felt like I just got out of the shower.

Doctors were flying into the room like worker bees after the code was called. In no time, there was like twenty people in my room.

Nurses are trying to reassure me.

People are asking me how I feel and the only thing I can come up with is “weird” between screams. Because, ya know, that shit hurt too...let me tell you....whew, I was in some pain.

They're telling me that I blew my artery, and they were going to have to do some vascular surgery to repair it and I'm signing forms and off to the OR where they're trying to get in a foley catheter and a special form of IV that goes in your artery, but can't because they can't find one due to the fact that I lost over half of my blood volume.


I'm not ashamed to say that I literally took as deep as breaths as I could as soon as that mask went over my face. I wanted out of that reality. It was...intense, traumatic, and fucking scary as hell.

I woke up in rather intense pain coming from my groin. But, it was over, and I knew I was going to be okay. How did I know?

I started making jokes again.

ICU Nurse:

“How do you feel?”

“Like shit, but my hair is on point”

Told ya...ego. LOL.

There's a bruise encompassing my entire left side of groin, from my pubic mons to my inner thigh. I have staples from where they did the artery repair, and a hole from the drain to release the blood that filled my groin and thigh.

However, independent me can't stand to ask for help to do basic human things, and I started begging to go home by Monday.

Didn't happen.

So, look, these people who work at Osceola Regional, they are wonderful. They were kind, picked up on my wicked and dry sense of humor quickly, and I did feel as though I was in good hands medically speaking. I would recommend the hospital to anyone, seriously. (Except the food....Cheeze its, that crap was bad)

I don't blame them for the complication. Shit happens.

I'm okay, I'm alive

But, I'm also going to need a lot of time to recover.

A whole lot more than I originally thought.

I tire easily, walk slowly and delicately due to the pain, and am still getting used to having to take so many pills.

I hate pills.

For those who don't know, ten years ago: I was addicted to opioids. Physician assisted addiction due to chronic pain issues, but addicted nonetheless. After eight years of being on high doses of morphine and others; I went to drug rehab and got off all of it. I have had strong feelings about pills since. Logically, I know it's not the same, but emotionally...it's fucking with my head.


The amount of people who looked at my groin up close and personal this week is staggering. I'm again hairless due to the fact that they have to shave you for the cardiac cath. Plus, I had a disinfectant wipe sponge bath from a young man that could be somebody's fantasy, but truly felt incredibly ridiculous. This has led me to the conclusion that any sense of modesty I may have possessed is long gone.

I finally talked them into letting me come home. They removed all the things, and I got home last night only to have the energy to pet my cat and watch tv. Walking, right now, is a chore, and I have restrictions a mile long on the amount of activity I'm allowed to do.

Truth? I don't have the energy to do much, anyway.

So, I didn't have any near death experiences other than the screaming. But I'm an agnostic realist skeptic...I wouldn't expect to.

What I do have, though, is a greater sense of gratefulness for just being alive. I'm happy to just be here in my bed and able to coherently relate this story. Because, boy oh boy, this could have easily ended differently for me.

Be grateful for life, please...you can't know what tomorrow will bring.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna

merlot5555 64M  
1062 posts
9/10/2020 9:11 am

...holy crap woman... that is one heck of an unexpected event..... hopefully all is taken care of and you emerge stronger than ever and full of piss and vinegar.... be well... be strong.....

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:21 pm:
Thanks merlot, yeah, it's been a hell of a week...but I am on the mend.

author51 57F  
102618 posts
9/10/2020 9:38 am

Crying as I read this but also tears of Joy my friend at all you have lived through and almost losing you my dear friend..I am so very Thankful you shared this with us all and was so relieved to see your message back to me.I have been thinking and praying for you since we found out here initially.. God has so blessed you with another chance at life..Please recover fully and take it easy..Really, really easy please....xoxoxo

One can never have enough JOY in their life...

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:22 pm:
Aw Joy, you're such a doll. I didn't mean to worry you, really.


hogknot 54M  
880 posts
9/10/2020 9:46 am

Any time you have a myocardial infarction and you are able talk about it, it's a good day. Get yourself well and enjoy life.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:22 pm:
Hashtag Facts

XHamburgDave 77M  
9590 posts
9/10/2020 9:46 am

Damn that sound awful!! A friend of mine went to the cardiologist for tests, they put him on a tread mill, the exercise gave him a heart attack

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:23 pm:
It was bad, but I'm coming through.

I probably would have had another one too, if they stuck me on a treadmill.

69ereatwetpussy 58M
3932 posts
9/10/2020 10:03 am

You went through a ringer
I'm so glad your here to tell your story.
As like your family mine has a heart troubles...
Prays for that full recovery.
my grand mother died on a visit to Poland my dad said of a broken heart later I know now what it
First my uncle at 50 triple bypass live ten years longer but never took his meds. They where all in the dresser draw .
My dad died on line at the cashier buying bread and cake. Massive heart attach age 63..
My brother 55 double bypass live till 77 died last year at home complications from another operation.
I lmself have just been to the Dr she said I'm doing great blood pressure great blood work great weight great.
She said what ever your doing keep it up.
Next oppiontment is with my dermatologist they will not be happy with me I love the sun and no shirt in summer time I'm Polish , Irish and German fair white skin. I'm hot a 70 degrees so shirt come off. If I could pants too. I could never live in any southern states or out west that's why I live in the mountains of NY and it's 85 today time for the pool with the dogs.

So with all that said now rest get well we want to see your beautiful smile and make us luagh soon. XoxxoxooxThomas

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:23 pm:
I hear ya on the fair skin...I'm german/irish.

Good to hear you're doing well, though.

beenlost 59M
47 posts
9/10/2020 10:27 am

Went to the "Almost dead" line just over 8 years ago and no white lighs either. The best advice I can give is to take things slow, listen to your body not your brain. If you think you can do a mile turn around at 1/2 mile. You seem to be an active person, just be a slow active person now.

My snarky reply that got laughs was when they asked if I knew how I got there. I rolled my eyes and replied "Helicopter."

And modesty goes right out the window!

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:24 pm:
I'm working towards that slow active thing.


able202 70M
3086 posts
9/10/2020 10:27 am

What a thing to go through.. Glad you made it..... nice hair though... XOX


EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:24 pm:
Thank you able...yes, it was a lot.

lindoboy100 57M
22337 posts
9/10/2020 10:29 am

Dearie me McTive, you've been there and back, eh?

One thing I absolutely adore about medical staff is their morbid sense of humour, nothing is sacred.

Also, it's maybe no bad thing that your groin pain is helping to restrict your movements, your body really does need time to heal I guess.

I'm just relieved and delighted that you're okay bonnie lass!

Pull ma finger.........

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:25 pm:
Their humor kept me going, that's for sure.

Thanks McLindo, I'm working on taking it easy...for now.

13608 posts
9/10/2020 11:18 am

*Thoughts and Prayers*

Do Have Great Hair!



EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:25 pm:
Thanks Jack, they were my heroes this week.

8433 posts
9/10/2020 12:25 pm

What an ordeal! Concentrate on your recovery now. What's done is done. There is a lot of future ahead. And I'm sure your cat will help you heal ... =^..^=

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:26 pm:
If she doesn't scratch me enough to start me bleeding first. She's feisty, like her mom. LOLOL

Thanks Uli

aman4u1962a 58M
1811 posts
9/10/2020 2:47 pm

You must be part feline and used a few of your nine lives over the past week.
Glad you're home and on the mend. Hope you're up and bouncing around soon.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:27 pm:
I'm part something alright.

Thank you

citizen4722 62M  
68489 posts
9/10/2020 3:47 pm

I can still recall the nurse praying for me while I lay in intensive care after spinal surgery in 2007. I had developed sepsis amongst other complications.
Somebody was obviously looking over you too

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:27 pm:
I'm very, very lucky.

I'm certainly glad you made it through yours, too!

resant78 41M  
2813 posts
9/10/2020 3:54 pm

Honestly, I was starting to feel concerned that we haven't heard from you for those few days. I would think about how you were doing and hoping things were at least okay. After everything you went through, I'm glad you seem to be recovering nicely.
take care of yourself first and we'll be here awaiting your next blog whenever that is.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:28 pm:
I do apologize for worrying you, really. It wasn't intentional, just a difficult week.

Thanks resant

crosstraining 67T  
2309 posts
9/10/2020 4:45 pm

Wow you dont have to watch medical shows on tv , you lived through one , glad your home and on the road to recovery , Listen to your doctors and take your meds . like i said before luv your hair {=}

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:29 pm:
If only there was a McSteamy...

No, that would have been bad for my heart.

Thanks sweetie

mc_justmc 60M  
6622 posts
9/10/2020 5:16 pm

After both of my heart adventures it took about a month to get my wind back. I couldn't walk 2 houses down the street without panting like I'd run 5 miles. Eventually you'll get back there where you were. Yes, you have to face that situation where everyone is busy in your crotch area. I remember laying on the gurney as they were pulling off my pants, (no underwear) and hearing a girl's voice saying "never mind, he's already shaved".

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:29 pm:
I'm glad you chimed in here, I wondered how long I was going to feel this winded doing the smallest of things.


positively4you 71F  
4058 posts
9/10/2020 5:33 pm

What a good team you had. You just got a 40,000 mile retread.
Every day is a gift. Happy for you. Enjoy those sweet kitties.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:30 pm:
I was very, very lucky. They were wonderful.


New2Midlo 48M  
419 posts
9/10/2020 5:40 pm

Wow, so you didn't think the mild heart attack was enough? Such a drama queen.

Seriously, you went through hell and back. Mild heart attacks are child's play compared to your femoral giving way.

Anyway, I'm so glad I could read your account instead of the alternative. Get well and take the time to heal.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:30 pm:
I got confused, I thought the saying was

Go Big to Go Home

Thanks, I appreciate it.

Paulxx001 63M  
16865 posts
9/10/2020 6:24 pm

Wow... It's a wake-up call for sure Glad to hear that you you're doing well. 🌹❗❗😎

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:31 pm:
Definite wakeup call.

Thanks Paul

Logan0867 53M
212 posts
9/10/2020 9:14 pm

You are definitely youngish, hip and incredibly sexy. Glad your on the medn. thanks for keeping me in the loop, love. xxoo Follow the instructions and take it easy for now and remember to ask for help if you need it.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:31 pm:
You're welcome love, of course I would.

I'm working on staying in bed...but you know me...ants in my pants. It's a chore!

PonyGirl1965 54F
11998 posts
9/11/2020 2:09 am

Jiminy flippin crickets! I kept telling myself you left your phone charger at home so you couldn't talk to us.

My sis worked in a cath lab and she never told me a horror story. I am SO HAPPY you are still here with us. How terrifying. I will keep praying you heal quickly.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:32 pm:
I didn't expect such a horror story either, but I'm glad to be on the mend.


anastasia666 42F  
2116 posts
9/11/2020 2:36 am

Welcome Home,

Thank you for checking in..I know we were all worried.

Please take care of Yourself & You are in our Prayers and

sending You Positive Healing Energy,


I done made the devil a deal
He made me pretty
He made me smart

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:32 pm:
Thank you

I didn't mean to worry anyone, I apologize for that.

easyrider4008 64M
1708 posts
9/11/2020 3:21 am

It seems you are lucky to be able to tell the tale, I think I can tell that you are the type that will put this aside and see the positive side. Get well soon and enjoy life.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:33 pm:
I feel lucky.

Yeah, I have a way of spinning things to make myself laugh.

pal334 66M  
41272 posts
9/11/2020 5:41 am

Welcome back! What an event. You had a good team there. Take it easy , you have a great road ahead.

Please cum visit my blog,,,,,,,,,,,,pal334

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:33 pm:
Thanks Pal! I'm going as slow and easy as possible.

CharlesD6996 50M  
295 posts
9/11/2020 9:23 am

So glad to hear that you are on the mend. Baby steps to recovery.

BTW, if you are uncomfortable with opiates for pain, you could see if they could do "battlefield acupuncture". They put a few pins in your ears and it relieves the pain. It works for some and has been used to control chronic pain.

All the best,

Post Me

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:34 pm:
Thanks...I hear that.

I appreciate it, but I'm not doing the opiates. Just mary jane and ibuprofen. It works.

loneleix 60M
393 posts
9/11/2020 11:21 am

Wow.... All's well that ends well but wow...

Hope your recovery goes a little smoother than the hospital. Unfortunately, it seems that kind of story in hospitals is getting more frequent rather than less. At any rate, glad me made it and are back in here (the real world of Senior Sizzle blogging) as opposed to all that fake shit in the hospital..... smile....

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:35 pm:
It's been an experience, that's for sure.

Thanks, I'm happy to be back home here in the blogs where all the best people on Senior Sizzle are.

pacnwlover42 51M
8270 posts
9/11/2020 2:24 pm

I was hoping you were doing better and it's crazy what you have been through. I wish you the best! A sense of humor certainly helps to get through something so hard and painful.

Funny women are incredibly sexy!

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:36 pm:
My sense of humor is one of my best traits as far as I'm concerned.

Thanks Pac

pagancountrygirl 62F
5355 posts
9/11/2020 2:45 pm

I had noticed your absence and wondered how you were doing. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine you going through that ordeal! Holy crap...that's a lot. And a lot of blood. It works better for you when you keep it in. Less painful.
But I'm extremely happy to read that you're home and on the road to recovery. Just remember, it's a road with a slow lane....for those who just survived what you've been through. Hope every day sees you recovering a bit more.

Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 4:37 pm:
I was telling another poster, I got confused...I thought the saying was

Go Big to Go Home

Thanks, as much as I want this to be over now...I'm very aware of my limitations at this point.

Thanks for your well wishes.

Dark_Star1972 48M
721 posts
9/11/2020 4:25 pm

Wow, that all sounds incredibly scary. I'm glad you're okay. Follow the doctor's order to the letter! Your health is more important than anything else right now.

With great regards,


The Darkstar

The Bearded One: Dark_Star1972

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/11/2020 5:02 pm:
Thanks DS...it was scary, but I'm happy to be on the mend.

RyuFujin 53F  
1289 posts
9/11/2020 11:56 pm

Gods death, were you ever so lucky!

Yeah, symptoms for a cardiac event in women are different from those that happen in men. What you described were classic symptoms.

I've had some life-altering events myself, the most recent being a little over three years ago. No need to go into details, but it was a hard slap of reality to make me take a very different look at my life and make those baby steps towards change.

So the Reaper tore up your pink slip, huzzah! Might be time to get a Lotto ticket?

"Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." ~ Dr. Seuss.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/13/2020 11:54 am:
Yeah, I was real surprised to hear the heart attack words coming from the doctor.

Thanks for the support, I appreciate it!

Maybe is time to get one.

lighthousecollec 58F  
931 posts
10/4/2020 6:20 am

I went through this with my ex husband since he had no family here in North Carolina. You have went threw hell and back. I was wondering how you were doing. I am glad you are getting back to things. Take it one day at a time my friend. I am here if you need me. Hugs

I have set up a private mailbox on my Blog for your convenience.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 10/4/2020 10:20 am:
Thank you lighthouse, I appreciate it. xoxo

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