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I'm home...again  

EnigmaInitiative 52F
2121 posts
9/16/2020 12:53 pm
I'm home...again

Continued, first comment.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna

EnigmaInitiative 52F
4056 posts
9/16/2020 12:54 pm

Le Sigh

So, I'm home again, after another short stay in the hospital.

Sunday, when I popped my staple, I called the dr and he told me to watch for some things. I did, and I thought I was fine....until about three am when things started getting dicey again.

I was bleeding pretty bad, enough that I enjoyed the hospitality of the ICU from Monday morning until this afternoon. In fact, I got out of bed for the first time in two days at around 11am this morning, after the nurse removed the catheter. Physically, I'm better, still have restrictions a mile long, and I do plan to follow them.

Emotionally, I saw a therapist while I was in, we talked over a few things. Including the fact that I've got to stop beating myself up so much. Genetically speaking, I'm a prime case of family history of early heart disease. In terms of doing too much, it's only natural to want to care for myself and not rely on others, though learning to ask for help is important to my recovery. And, apparently, this is pretty common among women...this whole downplaying symptoms and not wanting to be nurtured thing I've got going on.

She also told me about a new therapy for CPTSD that I hadn't heard of and there's a place that specializes in it nearby. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapy treatment that was originally designed to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories. I'm looking forward to seeing if this would work for me, as most treatments I've received barely dented the symptoms I have.

Anyhoo, I think HNW is out for me for a while, ain't no one want to see this bruise which the doc says I'll have for a month or more. It spread from my pubic mons down almost to my knee, and across my left hip well into my left ass cheek and right side Sunday night which is why I ended up in the hospital. It ain't pretty, folks. Though it matches my hair well.

Instead of half nekkid, I'm just gonna give you this little smirky smirk...so you know I'm okay.


In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna

resant78 41M  
2811 posts
9/16/2020 1:35 pm

I will happily take the smirky smirk.

Please continue taking care of yourself.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:38 pm:
Thank you resant

mc_justmc 60M  
6616 posts
9/16/2020 1:39 pm

Does this hospital have a punch card so at least your 11th visit is free? I guessing they know you by name when you walk in.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:39 pm:

The purple hair just ups the recognition factor,too. LOL

13578 posts
9/16/2020 1:44 pm

I Am Glad You Are Home*

Cont. Thoughts and Prayers Friend.


EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:39 pm:
Thanks Jack

lindoboy100 57M
22299 posts
9/16/2020 2:44 pm

Och ye puir wee scone ye, ye've no' half been through it sideways......awwww.

Here's a wee cuddle from scotland, and there's a keek up ma kilt waiting for ye too. I'm just a bit worried about flashin ye the now mind, coz ye're likely to do yersel' an injury from laughin'!!

But seriously, please keep fighting the fight, you'll be back dancing on HNW before you know it!

You're missed!

Pull ma finger.........

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:40 pm:
Awe thanks lindo, I'm still full of piss and vinegar...just slower about it.

crosstraining 67T  
2278 posts
9/16/2020 2:45 pm

Take care of yourself {=}

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:40 pm:
Thanks hon. I love your new profile photo!

lust4life59 61F  
834 posts
9/16/2020 2:46 pm

take care of yourself, and let others take of you. Get better soon.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:40 pm:
Thank you lust, I'm working on it.

pagancountrygirl 62F
5354 posts
9/16/2020 3:27 pm

I'm thinking the smirk is pretty damned good right now! It means you're still with us.
When that bruise quits matching your hair and starts turning greens and yellows....wow...that's gonna be gnarly! lol

Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:41 pm:
Truth, on both accounts. I'm so not looking forward to the yellow/green stage...that's for sure!

Thanks pagan

scoupe42 57M  
9125 posts
9/16/2020 4:21 pm

Glad you home and feeling beter.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:41 pm:
Thank you scoupe

citizen4722 62M  
68473 posts
9/16/2020 4:45 pm

Good to read that you're back home and on the road to recovery
Just keep on smirking!

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:41 pm:
Oh I plan to

Thanks citizen

srkaficionada 37F  
1010 posts
9/16/2020 5:23 pm

The smirk is accepted! Get well soon, take care of yourself and ask for help! You got this!

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:42 pm:
Thanks srk, it's been a tough couple of weeks here but I'm feeling better.

Paulxx001 63M  
16851 posts
9/16/2020 8:22 pm

Great pic!
Be safe ❤️ 😎❗

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:42 pm:
Thank you Paul

8426 posts
9/16/2020 9:32 pm

Welcome bavck home, my friend! And try to stay home this time ...

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:43 pm:
Thanks, I'm going to do my damndest to, that's for sure ULI

author51 57F  
102511 posts
9/16/2020 11:36 pm

Glad you are back home now my friend and please, please let the others do everything for you no matter if you think you can do it yourself...xoxo

One can never have enough JOY in their life...

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:43 pm:
Oh, I learned my lesson very well Joy...very very well.


loneleix 60M
393 posts
9/17/2020 1:02 am

If they gave out frequent flyer miles you would be in business about now. Take care.... heal.....

That reminds me of the old Earnest Angley show. In part of my misspent youth we would all gather every Sunday night to get high and watch his show..... HEEEEEEEAAAAALLLL he would yell as he smacked people on the forehead and then made them get up and walk after being crippled. If you've never seen it; it was amazingly good entertainment.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:44 pm:
I'm telling ya

I saw something similar in my own misspent youth, I'm purdy sure I know of what you speak.

easyrider4008 64M
1701 posts
9/17/2020 1:21 am

Take it easy and look after yourself.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:45 pm:
I am, thanks easy

pal334 66M  
41247 posts
9/17/2020 6:26 am

Welcome back. Now behave yourself and get better

Please cum visit my blog,,,,,,,,,,,,pal334

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:45 pm:
Thanks pal, trust I've learned my lesson well.

Logan0867 53M
212 posts
9/17/2020 10:03 am

Good to see you back home. take it easy and heal up. xxoo

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:45 pm:
You knew I was going home babe.

I'm alright and taking it very easy.

aman4u1962a 58M
1811 posts
9/17/2020 10:59 am

After what you've been through seeing you with a happy smirk is awesome.
Get better soon my dear lady.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/17/2020 12:46 pm:
Thanks, I appreciate it aman

PonyGirl1965 54F
11985 posts
9/18/2020 1:55 am

Oh hon I want to hug you and nurture you back to health. Try to relax. Get a sharpie and draw something purple on the other side of your body for giggles

EnigmaInitiative replies on 9/23/2020 9:58 am:
Awe, you're sweet. I, somehow, believe I'd probably be in better shape.

One is an enabler and brought home fried chicken...I'm like...duuuuuuude....come on, I can't eat that.

I love the sharpie idea, I may just try it. Thanks

Paulxx001 63M  
16851 posts
9/23/2020 12:05 pm

Stay well. Keep on smirking! 👍 😊 😎❗

EnigmaInitiative replies on 10/4/2020 10:17 am:
Thanks Paul

lunchandconvo 50F
1267 posts
9/28/2020 5:06 am

my depression has gotten so bad this year that i just did a two month intensive out patient group therapy in the mornings. EMDR came up by one of the group participants. she found it helpful though it was quite a journey. some other people in group are considering it. i hope it helps you.

EnigmaInitiative replies on 10/4/2020 10:19 am:
I'm so sorry to read that.

I probably won't be starting it until my health gets a bit better, or a vaccine is out. It requires an in person visit, and I live in Florida where everything is open and people are walking around without masks everywhere.

I do telehealth visits with my therapist, now.

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