Women are complex creatures
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Posted:Jan 8, 2020 1:21 am
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2024 7:16 am
2016 Views
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WOMEN ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATIONS OF GOD, SO A FEW WORDS ON THIS BEAUTIFUL CREATION,I BET ALL MEN AGREE ON THAT :
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don’t, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don’t, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don’t, you are not understanding
If you visit her often,she thinks it is boring
If you don’t , she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don’t , you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it’s bad
If you don’t, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn’t respect her
If you don’t, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait
If she is late, she says that’s a girl’s way
If you visit another man, you’re not putting in “quality time”
If she is visited by another woman, “Oh it’s natural, we are girls”
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they a just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
In short :
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful……….WOMEN !……..
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COMPUTER GIRLS
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Posted:Jan 8, 2020 1:20 am
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2024 7:16 am
1815 Views
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HARD-DISK Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Girls:
Everyone knows that she can’t do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
SCREENSAVER Girls:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Girls:
Difficult to access.
SERVER Girls:
Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Girls:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Girls:
Also known as “WIFE”; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t try to uninstall her … you will lose everything…
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50 Facts About Women
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Posted:Jan 8, 2020 1:19 am
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2024 7:16 am
3141 Views
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In the pursuit to know women better have listed down some amazing facts that men cant deny,guys if u have more facts about them do post them in, will add them to these.
1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they’re actually in control.
2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of “need” is irrelevant, so don’t bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
3. Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the racks of clothes in the closet; you “just don’t understand”.
4. Women need to cry. And they won’t do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That’s why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
8. Women don’t need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.
9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there’s a spider or a wasp involved.
10. Women can’t keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don’t view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
12. Women can’t refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she’s doing. It might be the lottery calling.
13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn’t need toys if women had an “on/off” switch.
14. Women think all beer is the same.
15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
16. Women don’t understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
17. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he’ll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she’ll pack 21 outfits because she doesn’t know what she’ll feel like wearing each day.
18. Women brush their hair before bed.
19. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you’ll have a pretty good idea about how she’ll be in bed.
20. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.
21. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man’s responsibility, “It’s there in the Bible”. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?
22. Women do not know anything about cars. “Oil- stick, oil doesn’t stick?”
23. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.
24. The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
27. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
28. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
29. Women don’t try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don’t fall asleep afterwards.
30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, ‘How do I look?’
31. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.
32. The first naked man a women see is “Ken”.
33. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.
34. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.
35. “Oh, nothing,” has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.
36. Lewis Carroll’s Caterpillar had nothing on women.
37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.
38. All women are overweight by definition; don’t agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don’t bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.
39. If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, “What did you do?”
40. Only women understand the reason for “guest towels” and the “good china”.
41. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.
42. Origin of the word “woman” is: woo-man.
43. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)
44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they “left the seat up” instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.
45. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.
46. Women don’t really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don’t see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?
47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.
48. It’s okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don’t see straight men dancing together.
49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they’ll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.
50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don’t hear men say, “Oh-my-GOD, there’s another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!”
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17 ways women fail in bed
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Posted:Dec 26, 2019 5:41 am
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2024 7:16 am
2992 Views
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1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy’s dick don’t grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don’t use the love sword as if it’s a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be awed, worshipped and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down.
2. ROBOTS: When sucking a guy’s dick don’t just get on the end of the thing and jam your head back and forward. It’s a beautiful instrument; it should be caressed, inspected, kissed and licked from every possible angle.
3. SILENT FRIGHT: If you’ve come and cannot be coerced to scream to show your appreciation, at least make some sort of sign to inform the guy that he’s done his duty and can blow his biscuits whenever he wants.
4. NO LAUGHING MATTER: Don’t laugh if your creative lover gets carried away and says things like, “I want to rinse your mouth with my fresh, white love potion.” Laughter at any aspect of the performance will not enhance it. Just be grateful you’ve got a guy can speak in whole sentences.
5. CLOSING UP: If a man is willing to take the trouble to come on your face, don’t close your eyes. He wants you to share this ecstatic moment of joyful union and love with him. Semen is not likely to cause permanent blindness in most cases - but this is a risk you should be prepared to take for his happiness.
6. POOR PRESENTATION: Presentation is all important. Don’t wait to be asked to get it doggy-style. Roll over and present. You know you love it.
7. HANGING AROUND: When he is done, you should not kiss and cuddle, he does not want to touch you. You should leave the bed and leave him in peace. If you are a one-night stand you should leave the premises with thieving anything or asking for a . His work is done.
8. BEING SHY: Always offer the Hershey Highway. You know you love It. If you don’t like it that much, still offer it as you can quite easily with yourself as he rams away.
9. BEING A DRIP: You always have tissues in your bag, use them to clean his sheets and any ball bag drippage if you have misbehaved and not swallowed everything.
. CLOCK-WATCHING: Never, ever, ever, ever even think of saying: “Are you going to come soon.” If you’re doing a blowie, you’d have to take your mouth off to utter the question. If you’re giving a hand-job, you should have gone to the gym to work your biceps. If he’s shagging you and takes more than minutes you should be grateful. This is not a time trial but a blissful act of union between two sexually aware and gifted human beings.
. FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS: Don’t ask him if you’re the best lover he’s ever had most men have had so many sexual partners that it is unlikely that you are. Please don’t ask a man to lie about such an important thing.
. PLAYING DEAD: Don’t just lie there, do something. Good sex is not a spectator sport and it helps if both parties move around a bit. I know you expect the men to do all the hard and skillful work. We don’t mind that and we’re blessed with the equipment and know-how to do it but at least put some effort into the act to show your appreciation.
. BEING POSSESSIVE: If you are lucky to have an imaginative lover can satisfy two women at a time don’t sneer at or reject his exciting suggestion that one of your friends joins you to make up a threesome. If he’s a real man he’s probably shagging her anyway. Plus you might learn something from her to keep your man really happy.
. NOT KEEPING YOUR HAIR ON: Don’t shave all your pubic hair off. It makes your snatch look like a piece of poultry past its -by date. At best, it looks like the snatch of a ten-year-old. If you want to trim, go for a nice sexy racing stripe in the manner favored by the Playboy models that your man would rather be shagging.
. SPITTING IT : When a man has gone to so much trouble to ejaculate and get his aim right into your mouth, it is rude to spit it out without savoring taste and gluey texture. You should with semen like a block of Hubba Bubba, blowing bubbles, chewing and throwing from side to side. A line like “I love it when you come in my mouth” makes for a happy finale to fun and games.
. BEING UNGRATEFUL: Never forget to thank a man for all the effort and energy he has expended on making love to you - especially if a)sex has lasted more than five minutes and/or b)you managed to achieve an orgasm. A man’s in sex is far more demanding than a woman’s so it is always nice when one’s prowess is appreciated.
. SEEKING FAVORS: Never contemplate taking advantage of your man’s warm after-sex glow to seek favors or make requests. As he drops off into well-deserved slumber, resist the urge to ask, “Do you think I should buy that dress, skirt, sofa, Mercedes, country cottage?” There is a for the practice of mixing sex with material gain - .
well !! well !! well , ladies i guess u all pissed at me but this is just a joke, so dont take it seriously, though i think guys would love this.
dont want no women hating me
have a nice day ladies
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women sounds
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Posted:Dec 26, 2019 5:40 am
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2024 7:16 am
2073 Views
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SOUNDS WOMEN MAKE :
1) Grrrrrosss…(said with a stress on the letter R)
This means you have said something amazingly disgusting and the woman, in all probability, is disgusted too. Gross is often followed by a long drawn Ewwwwwww…
Example: How about some anal sex, ?
Grrrrrosssss… Ewwwwwww…
2) Oh, reeeaaallllyyyy… (said with a stress on each syllable of the word Really)
This means you have said something amazingly witty and the woman cannot come with a good repartee.
Example: How about some anal sex, ?
Oh, reeeaaallllyyyy…
3) Excuseeee meeeeee…
This means you have said something disgusting and the woman cannot believe you actually said that. Normally, a verbal barrage follows this.
Example: How about some anal sex, ?
Excuseeee meeeeee… Ghar mein maa bhein nahi hai kya?
4) Ok ffffffine…(said with a quick OK and a slow fffffineeeee)
This means you have been relentlessly saying something disgusting and the woman will comply… but only against her will.
Example: How about some anal sex, ?
Ok fffffffffine…
5) Hmmmmmm… (normally said over Messenger chats)
This is a good sign. NO. This is a MAJOR breakthrough. This is the stuff Camp David or the Indo-Pak Bilateral Dialogue is made of. This means the woman in question is ACTULLY contemplating what you just asked of her.
Example: How about some anal sex, ?
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10 things u didn’t know about SEX
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Posted:Dec 26, 2019 5:38 am
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2024 7:16 am
2795 Views
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1. The typical lovemaking session lasts around minutes: roughly to minutes of foreplay and around 3 to 5 minutes of intercourse.
anuj
2. Humans aren't the only horny members of the animal kingdom doing it just for fun. Dolphins and a type of chimpanzee called the bonobo have also been observed engaging in sexual activity when they are not in their natural reproductive cycles.
3. While Viagra has made erectile dysfunction (affecting to percent of men) a household phrase, the opposite problem -- premature ejaculation -- is more common (affecting 24 to 27 percent of men). The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is currently reviewing a Drug called dapoxetine as a cure for this problem.
4. Crank up that thermostat... orgasms may be more intense in warmer conditions. The degree of vasocongestion, reddening or darkeing of the skin known as the "sex flush," is both more common in warmer temperatures and an indication of how intense an orgasm may be.
5. If a woman experiences orgasm during sex, she is more likely to become pregnant, since orgasmic spasms in pelvic muscles help move sperm up the vaginal canal to the uterus.
6. Homosexuality is not unique to humans. Many species have been observed engaging in homosexual activity, and in fact bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of all mammals.
7. On any given day 400,000,000 people around the world -- 1 in of us -- will have sexual intercourse. Broken down further, 4,000 people are having sex at any given time.
8. Sex cures headaches. Endorphins released into our bloodstream when we have sex not only give us pleasure but also act as painkillers. Useful information to whip the next time your partner uses a headache as a reason to say no.someone mentioning about headaches dear !!!!!
9. Many elderly can and do have frequent sex. At age 70, 73% of males are still potent, and 30% of women 80 or older have still have sex.(men are more active thru out their life )
. 70% of women would rather eat chocolate than have sex.
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A man
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Posted:Dec 23, 2019 11:27 pm
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2024 7:16 am
2119 Views
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1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?
It’s a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a is typically years shorter (and it’s not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone modifies behavior. We’re just misunderstood.
2. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE OTHER WOMEN?
Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better not getting caught. I’m fairly certain it’s some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.
3. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?
We occasionally need to adjust “junior” and make him happy. It’s much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.
4. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH THINGS?
We like to. It’s actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.
5. WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?
You’d learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.
6. WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?
Well, we don’t actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It’s the old fashioned pride in a job well done that’s missing in so much of the world nowadays.
7. WHY CAN’T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?
Do we like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we’re experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure how I feel.
8. WHY CAN’T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E. LIE DOWN AND HUG)?
Please… How many hours do you think there is in a ? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men… Men hunters… Need go roam… Starve in cave… Must go find wildebeest…Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.
9. HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL WITHOUT MOVING?
Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their sons. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.
. WHY CAN’T MEN JUST SAY “I LOVE YOU?”
Men are taught from a tender age to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It’s not easy to admit to one’s own character faults.
. WHY DO MEN SAY “I LOVE YOU” WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?
Ho, Ho, Ho… Aren’t you special? Well, some men think it’s a sure fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.
. WHY DOESN’T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ?
We just simply don’t have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.
. WHY WON’T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?
Why should we? It doesn’t really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn well you’ll pick it up.
. WHAT’S WITH ALL THE BELCHING AND FARTING?
This usually only occurs after months of courting. It’s our way to let you know that we’re comfortable with you. Believe it or not, its actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.
. WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?
It’s an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go , it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours to things we have no intention of killing? Err… buying?
LADIES , PLZ I THINK THIS IS SUFFICIENT ENUFF FOR U GALS TO KNOW UR MAN, GIVE HIM A TREAT THE NEXT TIME U MEET HIM
for the offended ones, u shouldnt take things seriously , give me a break, penned down for a few smiles and laughs.
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10 RULES OF CYBERSEX
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Posted:Dec 2, 2019 2:19 am
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2024 7:16 am
3390 Views
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1. Before becoming involved in any kind of cybersex, please make sure your spouse, boyfriend, , etc. are of the room at the time, (preferably of the house and not during a major holiday when your in-laws are also present or at a time when all your relatives are in attendance). It really gets difficult to explain the moaning and groaning, while the buzz of various “toys” can be heard.
2. For men, before you begin, please check that your modem protector is on, along with the splash guard for your keyboard. It will stop the future embarrassment of telling the computer technician that your keys are “stuck” and you have no idea why.
3. For women, no matter what you are truly wearing, such as: sweatpants, sweat shirt, torn bathrobe, slippers, t-shirt with stains on the front, bloomer underwear that could cover a car or be used for a parachute, always tell your potential cyber partner you are wearing a thong, garter belt with black stockings, and your best Wonderbra (the one that has everything pulled up so high your belly button is under your chin), and a pair of high heels. We don’t want to destroy that myth that all women dress that way when we sit down at the computer (although I truly wear these things each and every time I sit in front of my computer, it does seem to cause a bit of a commotion at the office, - but I have certainly worked my way up the ranks in the company because of it). As for what the man should be wearing, we all know that they are all naked and wearing just a smile.
4. If the cyber begins to get very please refrain from straddling your monitor. There are many emergency room stories to be told if you get overly excited, not to mention the many years of therapy to get you to let go and not continue this sordid affair with your ″ screen.
5. If the cyber is not going well, please let the other person know in the best way you can. It is not very polite to tell them that you are doing your nails, have just made up your grocery list for the next month, shingled the house, pulled one of your wisdom teeth because you were bored, would rather read the instructions on how to set the time on your VCR, checked your fridge to make sure the light still works when you open the door, and last but not least, stuck your tongue to an ice cube tray to stop the monotony.
6. When it really starts getting and heavy, please check your spelling before you that embarrassing typo, i.e., oh , let me suck on those beautiful beasts of yours. I just love your , wet posse (although it does kinda put a western slant on Things - hmmmm, things could get interesting with boots and spurs though). Oh , you have such a big coke, (hope you got the supersized fries and burger with that). That’s it , show me that beautiful clint, (go ahead, make my day), and the proverbial oh fork me hard!
7. attention to what is going on. Please refrain from putting your “coke” in one place, when your cyberpartner had just typed that it was someplace else. If you have no clue as to where the cyber is going, ask to buy a vowel. If you are really lost and can’t keep up, or you had a case of premature cybering, and really do not feel like typing for 3 days to satisfy your female counterpart, just pretend you got bumped off-line. That always works and at least she won’t take it so personal. Please refrain from the excuse, “I have to let my dog .”
8. Once both cyberpartners have been satisfied, or faked satisfaction, (oh great, we now have the added pressure of faking cyber-orgasms too), at least say thank you. (Thank you can mean, thank God its over, or THANK YOU because you truly had a wonderful time.)
9. If it was a truly bad experience, do not feel pressured into ever having cybersex with this person again. When they ask for your email , just give them the wrong one. If they begin to pester you, it’s proper etiquette to just bump yourself off-line, or just say HUH? I never got your . Nobody needs to suffer a really bad cyber twice.
. Last but not least, remember that cybersex will not make you go blind, unless you keep all the lights in the house while having it, watching the screen in the dark does make your eyes burn. Realize that you may be addicted if your real life partner walks by naked and you’d rather be typing with one hand and still trying to keep a steady rhythm going. Sex can be just as nice with a partner you know. And just for variety, when your right hand gets tired, try dating your left hand for something different.
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To link to this blog (DRindianfriend) use [blog DRindianfriend] in your messages.
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