Flakes and Ghosts in the lifestyle  

Codex97471 70M
3 posts
2/7/2022 10:44 am
Flakes and Ghosts in the lifestyle

If you have ever attempted the joys of online dating, you have probably had the unfortunate experience of someone flaking on you or ghosting on you. If you have not heard these terms before, let us turn to the ever-helpful (and often comical) Urban Dictionary:

Flake: A flake is someone who generally makes plans with you, promises to do things with you or for you but can never seem to follow through.

Ghost: When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they arere dating, with warning or notice beforehand.

How do these terms apply to the swinger lifestyle?

Flaking happens, sometimes the best-made plans fall through. A babysitter is unavailable suddenly or a family emergency or a work problem yes, real-life happens and it can get in the way of a fun time. Sometimes these issues occur last minute to a planned date and ruin the plans. Everyone should understand, but do your best to not make it a habit. It is frustrating to have made plans and to have a babysitter scheduled to have the other couple call the date off at the last minute.
The thing you can do is be open and upfront as soon as you know. Otherwise, you quickly dive into the ghosting category.

When swinging as a couple we had a -strike rule. We generally give first or second date tries. If they flake both times, then we wont spend much time or effort in facilitating the third attempt. I would suggest you come with your own rules that suit your situation.

Ghosting is simply rude and inconsiderate. Typically we have experienced ghosting with couples or persons who are new to the lifestyle, but experienced couples have done it to us before as well. Each ghosting experience seems to come out of the same playbook. We are chatting and clicking, everyone makes plans to meet and the day before or the day of the other couple or person goes completely silent and they dont show up for the date.

There is no reason to ghost anyone. If<b> desires </font></b>change, if anything changes, just be upfront and simply say Im sorry, but we dont think we are a good fit. Thank you for chatting with us and simply leave it at that. Any communication is better than no communication at all.


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