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Chat Rooms: necessary evil?  

CarpeJamie 52M  
93 posts
9/14/2021 10:42 am
Chat Rooms: necessary evil?

To group chat or not to group chat …. That is the question.

I’ve been on AF.F for one month now and I’m part of a, often large, group chat. The good thing about group chat is that is a relatively safe way meet and talk new people. You can come in and out of discussions as you desire and you can then decide you’d like chat privately with. Over time a community forms and you get know the regular chatters. I have met many lovely, wonderful people. They are interesting, engaging, funny, helpful and kind individuals. I look forward connecting with them each and every day. BUT, the conversations are often superficial. It’s very hard develop a connection … especially since chat rooms are so public. I find people are fairly guarded because of the of people present the conversation. However, I have been able have many deeper conversations over the past month.

So how do you really become friends (no quotes) and not “friends” (on the surface)? Answer: chatting in a private chat. There are a couple of ways to do that on the site luckily – for any level of membership. You can do so in the group chat area and in the blog space on the site to name two.

The downside that I’ve experienced in group chats is that from time time fights break out OR some individuals say some pretty offensive things from time time. Thankfully in those off-putting incidents on group chats – often the participants in the chat enforce the group norms and challenge those are behaving badly. There are many other downsides; but I think the benefit of actually meeting people and potentially developing more than a superficial acquaintance is worth participating in the Chat room discussions.

What do you think? Are chat rooms the best way get the most out of this site OR do you have a better way? Is the chat room a necessary evil or a hidden gem?

Comment below and let me know what you think and why.

If you wish to contact me, I've setup a private Mailbox Private message Area WHAT39S IN THE VAULT STAYS IN THE VAULT in my Blog. CarpeJamie

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silk_petal_rose 58F
2363 posts
9/14/2021 6:41 pm

I believe that many come into chat to joke around. let off steam after a day of work../ as many people in a chat room are as many reasons why the person is here/ do people make forever lasting friendships. people develop acquaintances ,yes.many/ it is rare that 2 people hook up and develop a lifelong bond.../ I've known it to happen./ just my personal opinion!,


CarpeJamie replies on 9/15/2021 6:34 am:
I do believe it is hard to have long time acquaintances or friendships through chat. It would take a deep connection and lots of effort on both people's part--and I think that is rare for most people. I guess we're all here for a short time and a good time.

seems6666 52F
4838 posts
9/15/2021 11:53 am

I used to use the UK chat room. MANY years ago.. and it used to be a riot of fun.. there were regularly over 100 people in that one "room" and you really had to keep your wits about you I met an ex in the chat room ...
Now nobody goes in there... which is a shame because it was good to have a laugh at the end of the day and passed the time so quick.

CarpeJamie replies on 9/16/2021 10:04 am:
100 people! I bet there were a number of great connections in the room. I'm going to my first meet up this weekend ... can't wait to see the people I've been chatting with in person. Thanks for the nod to chat! Keep calm and Chat on!

silk_petal_rose 58F
2363 posts
9/15/2021 5:15 pm

I know of 3 separate instances where people met in a chat room and married
so long term relationship do happen..........


CarpeJamie replies on 9/16/2021 10:02 am:
I know many people who have met their significant other on dating apps ... they do work for many who are looking for something serious.

missthee 56F  
4511 posts
9/16/2021 1:41 pm

I have clicked to enter chat rooms in the past to see how they work and what it's all about. TBH I found the format confusing and hard to keep up with the flow of conversation.

I guess I prefer 1on1 conversations and long form discussions.

CarpeJamie replies on 9/16/2021 3:36 pm:
When using my phone to access the chat room I find it incredibly difficult to keep up with the conversation. When I use my laptop it is so much easier. I can scroll up and down to see things I missed. I also have to thank my Grade 10 typing teacher for giving me the skills to type makes a big difference. If I had to hunt and peck to find the right keys I'd miss so much in a chat room.

All this to say. I understand the difficulties you mention. The Groups area is a great way to have long form conversations ... just isn't the best way to get instant responses.

Thanks for commenting on my post!

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