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Carpe Jamie: sexploration 2022
 
Living, Loving and Learning from A.F.F members
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
My Profile Info
Posted:Sep 13, 2021 7:34 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2022 5:40 pm
6873 Views

Looking seize the day! You? Life is short. Looking make the most out of .

I've always been physically active and currently enjoy cycling and basketball. Pre-covid I took up Yoga and joined a gym. I still workout on-line from time to time with a friend.

I love going out to concerts, festivals, comedy shows, Raptors and Toronto Rock games, movies and theatre amongst many other things. I enjoy binge watching Netflix shows and my TV PVR is always half full. I enjoy great meals that I can't make myself, despite the fact that I'm a picky eater.

I read non-fiction but lately I mostly listen to audiobooks. You should check out Malcolm Gladwell and Brene Brown -- they have much to say on how you and the world works.

Family and friends are important to me and I will be there for them when in need.

I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now seeing as I am in the midst of the divorce process. But I am looking for someone to hang out with and enjoy the fun things in life.

My Ideal Person Likes have fun and enjoy life. She is caring, thoughtful, fun, funny, adventurous and comfortable with herself. Ideally she is someone who enjoys an active lifestyle and takes care of herself and others. I enjoy people who are open minded and think about the world around them. I like to know people and I'm intrigued to hear how you see the world and those around you.

Information:

Orientation: Straight
Looking For: Women
Marital Status: Separated
Height: 6 ft 0 in
Body Type: Average
Smoking: I'm a non-smoker
Drinking: I'm a light/social drinker
Speaks: English
Hair Color: Black
Hair Length: Long
Glasses or Contacts: Glasses
Eye Color: Dark Brown
0 Comments
THE DATING GAMES WE PLAY(ED) ! ?
Posted:Jan 19, 2022 11:09 am
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2022 11:02 pm
4425 Views
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
Who has got time to do the dating dance?



Entering the dating scene after 20 years of being in a monogamous relationship can be very daunting. If you are in my generation, you grew up having very defined rules and roles in dating. Societal customs and the media reinforced that the guy is expected to be a gentleman, he should open and hold doors open, sit down at the table last, pay for dinner, make the first move, and take charge. The woman is to be prim and proper, expect to be doted on, look pretty, not make a fuss, and play hard to get. When I speak to younger colleagues in the dating scene they talk about casual hook-ups, swiping left and right, group dating and women taking charge in the date equally as men do. When I talk with other Af.f members on line about dating and relationships I hear great frustration and confusion on what is expected now-a-days. Has dating really changed over the past 25 years? Yes …. And No …. And Yes.



What has changed is that there is now on-line dating. And you have so much more access to other similarly minded people than you did when you were younger. And some of the expectations in dating have changed and some have not. Yes, we are much older (and wiser, lol) now; but those foundational messages that we learned from the Harlequin novels and rom-coms stay with us still. We have evolved and there are fewer years ahead of us than behind us, so we have no time to put up with the BS games that we use to play. We no longer need to wait 3 days before communicating after a fun date; sometimes you have sex on the first date just because you feel like it. Sometimes the gal makes the first move, because we all have needs and so why wait … Waiting? Aint nobody got no time for dat! As you may remember in a previous post [post 4430567] I wondered how to end the date, with a hug, a kiss or a night cap. Since then, I have been struggling with question of at what stage in the dating process do you have sex. Lately I have been practicing the motto of Carpe Diem – Seize the Day, so if the person I am with is consenting, so am I. But, this goes against how I have been raised where you save yourself for marriage (lol). So, I have been questioning whether I should rely on this arcane socialization or get with modern times. I think that I am not alone in having this inner turmoil as to deciding when to put out and how many dates you should wait before having sex with someone you are dating. I think that our generation struggles between our old school values and the modern reality and that there is tension within us as to what these rules of engagement are in dating. Do we modernize our values and embrace equality of the sexes and therefore do away with chauvinist chivalry of men taking opening doors and taking charge of the cheque? My current thinking is we need to modernize our thinking a bit. I have always been drawn to women who assert themselves and I have been brought up also that women and men are equally capable and deserve to be treated as such. And I have been brought up to be kind to others, so I will continue to open and hold doors open for you, and I will pay for the date – because it is my act of kindness to someone I am interested in knowing. When It comes to sex … well in these days of consent being paramount and me too … I hesitate to take the lead; so now I suppose my date and I will have (at least one) conversation BEFORE getting into anything sexual.



But, the problem is, what if the woman I am dating still has these rules we have grown up with and adopted? How do we have a meeting of the minds and bodies if I have modernized my thinking and actions and am not a take charge kind of guy and she is an old school rule follower? It is complicated. So, to get some clarification I turned to a womans magazine for some help in the new rules of dating. Here are the 11 rules according to Womens Health magazine:
1. Date multiple people at once
2. Keep dates short
3. Be upfront about what you want
4. Avoid talking about exes
5. Pay attention to follow-through than planning
6. Do not feel obligated to send a thank you text
7. Give them 2 weeks to reach out again
8. Wait a few dates to have sex
9. Do not freak out about who pays
10. Both people can plan
11. Eat whatever you want.

This list floored me …. It seems as though the media is still promoting traditional dating practices or worse, see numbers 6, 7 and 8. Can you believe it? Wait 2 weeks to hear from the person you went on the date with. Come on, that is way too long, especially in this time of instant communication. Likewise, do not send a follow up text, between that rule and number 7 that writer almost expects you to be ghosted. Lastly, number 8 wait a few dates to have sex (although the writer does say if you both want to at the end of the first date, have at it.) So now my question is, at what point do you stop waiting to have sex and move on because the other person on the date is following these rules and not communicating with you and playing hard to get? Three dates? For me I think this may be the new rule of engagement. Three strikes and I am out – by date three if were not planning some intimate time I think it sends a message that you are not that into me and it is time to move on. Life is short and I am all about seizing the day.

Are you a traditionalist or modernist when it comes to your rules for dating? What do you think the current expectations are for getting intimate of deciding whether you will continue seeing the person you dated? Time for some crowd-sourcing of current practices of AF.f bloggers, readers and members.



My questions to you are the following,
1. What are YOUR rules of engagement for dating?
2. How many people would you date at one time?
3. How many dates do you go on before you decide to cut ties if you like the person and they turn you on sexually?
4. When are you prepared to have sex with the person you are dating?
5. Are you interested in a Friend with Benefits or are you just a serious relationship type of person or not?
6 Comments
ODE to the ONE who got away?
Posted:Jan 10, 2022 11:21 pm
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2022 5:23 pm
5248 Views


Gary, from work, invited the entire team to his farm in the country for a corn roast. We were invited to bring our tents and pitch them in the field for the night while we partied it up at the farm. Being a city slicker, and a Glamper-camping using a Trailer or RV-the idea of pitching a tent in a middle of a farm field held little interest to me. But, everyone from work was going so, I figured that the worst case is that I cut out early and sleep in the comforts of my KINGsize bed at home. I borrowed my parent’s pop-up tent and headed out of town with my 6 pack to experience my first corn roast.



Of course, I got there just at sunset and pulled up to the farm house. Gary greeted me warmly and told me to pitch my tent anywhere on the property and join the gang at the bonfire out back. I lugged my tent into the muddy field with my new trainers on and struggled to erect this structure in the dark. Off in the distance I heard the din of conversation of my colleagues around the bon fire; I needed to get this tent erected. Seeing me struggling, a colleague I didn’t know well took pity on me and asked if I would like her help. Sally was a slender 5 foot 7 blonde knockout with curves in all the right places. She made an offer I could not refuse. I remarked at how adept she was at putting the poles together, shaft into receptor. We worked together using our hands getting those long, hard poles into place so we could get to the fun stuff. Eventually the tent was assembled and despite me being a shy guy, I offered to walk her to the bonfire.



We arrived at the bonfire and were greeted warmly by our colleagues who had obviously been drinking for hours. Sally sat with her friends and I with mine. We sat around the bonfire for hours singing camp songs, chatting and carrying on. On one or two occasions I caught Sally’s eyes across the bonfire and smiled at her. I had chatted to another colleague, Mina, that I was interested in. Mina was a curvy, kind, funny 5 foot 5 brunette and a bit of a tease. We laughed and exchanged stories of adventures we had. Over the course of the night some individuals coupled up and the crowd around the bonfire dwindled. Mina took off to the tent area so I made my trek back to mine, all the while thinking I will try to see if Mina wanted to meet up before going to bed.

While on my way to Mina’s tent, Sally appeared out of the darkness. I said hello and thanked her again for helping me. We started making suggestive comments about the poles and her handiness; but I was a man on a mission, and was trying to cut the conversation short. Sally on the other hand was extending the conversation; she mentioned that she was a track star and I mentioned that I was pretty fast. Unfortunately, my competitiveness overrided my desire to find Mina; So Sally and I set up a 50 metre race to see who was faster. I had the early lead and Sally, like a lioness after her prey, was chasing me, closely behind. I started bobbing and weaving around the other pitch tents and she continued to track me. It was in the middle of the chase, that I finally clued in that the hunt was on; and, I could be the big catch of the night! Why was I going to search for Mina when I was literally being pursued by this frisky feline beauty? I bobbed and weaved around the tents some more until we got close to mine. I dove into my tent and Sally dove in behind me. I collapsed on the floor exhausted from the chase and the lioness lay next to me. We were panting and laughing at our playfulness. That speed contest was quickly turning into a sensual win-win.



I threw my arm around Sallys waist and pulled her in closer. We began locking lips and tearing off each other’s clothes. First, our naked chests were exposed as we kissed passionately and tossed aside our tops. Sally unzipped my pants and my swollen package emerged from its den. I slid off her pants and we writhed on the floor of the tent, dry humping at first and increasing my desire. We wriggled out of our underwear and our bodies became entwined. I sucked on the nape of her neck as our bodies pulsed as one. Sally got on her hands and knees; her sensuous butt cheeks in the air. I saddled up behind her with my throbbing penis in hand rubbing the tip of it between her thighs and along her ladylips. Rubbing her clit and feeling the wetness between her legs. I slipped my cock into her love cavern and began rocking back and forth. Little by little, deeper and deeper. She rocked back and forth in rhythm and wanted all of me inside her. Rocking, and pulsing and enjoying the view of her sexy buttocks and golden mane over her shoulders. I wanted all of her. We paused for a moment as I got close to cumming. Sally turned over onto her back and I inserted myself into her soaking wet glory hole. She wrapped her long legs around my hips and we continued pressing into one another going deeper and faster and harder with each stroke of our hips. The heat from our bodies warming the passion between us. I am about to cum, I exclaimed with satisfaction. I am about to cum again she said. We continued to let our bodies move in unison as I unloaded my cream inside her and her love juices exploded all over me. Our rhythm slowed until we stopped; arms wrapped around each other and her legs wrapped around mine. Me, inside her, pulsing my penis and she squeezing her love canal around my cock, as we lay there, enjoying in the afterglow of a wonderful corn roast.



We woke up a few hours later with the rising of the sun. Thank you for a wonderful night, she whispered softly in my ear before she departed from my tent leaving me fulfilled and contented with a deep passionate kiss. Not wanting our colleagues to know what had gone on during the wee hours of the morning she headed back to her tent. I did not see her again that morning but I thought about our mid-night encounter during the long drive back to the city. Would I call her? Would she call me? Wait we didn’t exchange numbers! Was this my first one-night stand? Oh what a night!
9 Comments , 1 Pending
Finding your Fetish
Posted:Jan 4, 2022 10:26 pm
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2022 10:51 pm
5094 Views

You are not a freak! What is the biggest turn on you have ever experienced? Those fishnet stockings your lover wears? Your lovers biceps? Pretty feet? I love a womans breasts! I was talking with some AF.Fers and was wondering if they had any fetishes. I soon realized that we did not really know what a fetish was. We had heard about foot fetishes and leather fetishes and they seemed to be common knowledge. I believe I had learned over the years that BDSM was a fetish. But is it? Truly, when hard pressed to define fetish, I could not. So, obviously, I had to google it.

I learned from web_MD that a fetish is sexual excitement in response to an object or body part that is NOT typically sexual, for example, shoes, feet; and, that men more commonly have fetishes. Apparently to have a fetish, you must have that object or body part present during sexual activity to get sexually aroused or have an orgasm. According to the website, most common fetishes include feet, obesity, piercings or tattoos; followed by body fluid, body size and hair. Who does not love a man or a woman with great hair? But, does good hair excite you to orgasm? If your answer is yes, congratulations you have a hair fetish.

Even though I was insistent that I had a breast fetish, small or large does not matter too much to me as long as you got them! But sadly, breasts do not fit the definition for a fetish, because they would have to be a body part that is not typically sexual-and breasts definitely are typically sexual, as are asses. So, I have learned that I am fetishless at the moment; but I feel that I want a fetish so that I can get my kink on. Lol. It seems as though I have got to continue my Sexploration to find my inner kink and fetish. As I described in a previous post, I have been totally turned on when I have been bound in the past; but again, bonding does not fit the definition because it is not the binding material that excited me it was the anticipation and feeling of lack of control. Maybe there is hope for this vanilla sex, wanna be deviant to find his inner fetish. I think the idea of fetishes have evolved over time because what was once not common is now much more common because of the internet allowing for greater openness of all the different things people are into. I am interested in hearing from you to help me on my sexual journey.



Do you or someone you know have a fetish?
How or when did you or they find out you or they had a fetish?
What is it about the object / body part that excites you the most?
Has it been easy to incorporate it into your or their sexual repertoire with your or their partners?
10 Comments
Happy New year!!!
Posted:Jan 2, 2022 3:01 am
Last Updated:Jan 9, 2022 2:14 am
4699 Views

I forward to hanging out with a few friends for New Years Eve, playing cards and having a few drinks. But, a meddlesome bug thwarted my plans the night before New Years. I caught a cold or flu … which mirrors the symptoms of Covid. And, according to the latest protocol I had to self-isolate for the next 5 days. So, out the window went the celebration of the new year. Now the question remains who is there to comfort me in my time of need? This cold/flu has kicked my ass and I have been sleeping a lot to heal as quickly as I can. I slept through the clock striking midnight but woke up shortly afterwards. I logged on to AF.f to wish my fellow chatters in the ON room Happy New Year! Not surprisingly, the room a hot bed of activity (given that most celebrations were cancelled due to covid restrictions). The chatting community welcomed me, and each other, with open arms. Were they there for me in my time of need? They were there… maybe not for me necessarily; but for the moment I connected with them, and we celebrated the new year together. I chatted with a couple people whom I have not done much chatting with before and thereby made some new connections. The moral of my story….when things are down, if you look harder and open yourself up to possibilities, new opportunities can be found. This not the way I planned to ring in the new year; but, I am optimistic that 2022 will be better than last year and the connections I have made with people on the app will flourish in the coming year (really how can it be worse). I am to develop friend connections in 2022. I believe things are shaping up for a Happy New Year!

Tell me, Did your new years eve work out the way you expected it to? What is your outlook or prognosis for 2022? What goal or goals are you working on achieving in the new year?

Happy New Year fellow bloggers and enthusiasts!
5 Comments
Old fogies and young pups need not apply?
Posted:Dec 29, 2021 8:39 am
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2022 11:43 pm
4941 Views


A post by a fellow blogger today has caused me to ponder a bit on the topic of age and dating. When I was in my 20s, dating someone 5 years older than me would be a non-starter. I assumed she would be wanting to settle down and start a family , or have already started and I was NOT even close to wanting to start a family at that time. I remember when I was 27, meeting a 34 year old, and thinking: no way, too old. And if she had a already: hard pass, I will introduce her to my 45 year old friend to date instead. When I became 34 I had to smack myself on the head for thinking that way because I saw no real difference between me at 34 and a 27 year old. Even at 40, when I was at work, a 27 year old employee would call me Sir and I was taken aback. Did she think I was old? I was not a SIR! I was Jamie! We were peers in my mind. In my late 40s I wondered if I was on the dating scene again what age range would I look for in a relationship? Oh of course there is the sexual appeal of a young 20 year old; but really? Their minds are too young. They are so naive and inexperienced? Could I date a 70 year old? Is it weird dating a Grandma? Grandmas are old are they not? When I was a that was definitely true. But now, Grandmas are my age, younger and older than me. I remember telling my friends that age is just a number and I would not be so narrow minded. I would date any woman of any age! But is that true?


Now that I am 51 and have entered the dating scene after so many years, I have been trying to convince myself to be open to dating any woman of any age. But the truth is, I think I am a bit of an ageist. On AF.f i have seen many women state very explicitly: only dating men older than 55; OR young bucks only! OR seeking a 40 something! Should I be more narrow in my search? I get along with most people I meet, younger and older than me; and I always think we are about the same age. But truly are we?
Can I date someone who is the age of my parents, over 80? Is it weird to date a 20 year old-just a few years older than my ? Hmmm. Well I could go on a date, no problem! And I certainly open to becoming friends. But would I enter into a relationship with her? A sexual one? In my mind I have artificially drawn a line at 15 years my junior or 15 years my senior. Meaning if you are 66 years old drop me a line. And if you are 35 years old, I would love to meet you. So now comes the hard part. Do I say no thank you to a 67 year old? Not if I am attracted to her. How about at 69 year old? Where do you draw the line? And if you are 32 years old I guess you have to not want for me to be in a relationship with you. Or wait, maybe I could start a second family? Oh what to do!



Where do you draw the line? There are sexy people at all different ages: who am I to be such an ageist!

Time to get the assistance of other bloggers, blog readers and AF.f ers.

Please post a comment with your thoughts!
13 Comments
A Long Kiss Goodnight
Posted:Oct 1, 2021 12:06 pm
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2022 9:12 am
6911 Views


At the end of the movie we walk hand in hand
Out the door, we stroll, wards the car and then head
your ho. Once parked we bid good night with a kiss
The sultry passion begins flow through our lips
My warm fingers slide effortlessly through your hair
grasp the back of your neck and pull you closer
Our loose lips begin lock like handcuffs, our ngues
et then part, again and again. Our heavy breath
Pauses ever so slightly as our love drops drip
Your soft silky hands caress my big bubble butt
My hands unhook your bra and cup your buxom breasts.
The jarring driveway light turns on, our love arrests.
“I guess this is good night,” I say, but I want not
“Not ready leave." you say, find a private spot”

We get out of eye sight, so our lust can thrive.
I put the stick, in reverse and in drive
You know the usual spot, Let’s make haste on our ride
Your hand on my love shaft, bulging I cannot hide
gether we arrive, alone in the dark
With excitent I move the shift from drive park.
Abandoned amongst the warehouses we resu
The driveway passion and lust we began o soon.
I lean over and kiss you again and again
Our lips beco one, and once again we begin.
our body’s rhythm we paused just monts ago
A zip on my pants and my shirt, off they both go
With haste we rip off your shirt and lift up your skirt
You lower and shed my boxers on the floor dirt
With desire you mount like Gods of the Greeks
Sliding back and forth on my stick, wet and so sleek
Our sweaty bodies moving in unison o
Getting us both prid with our lubricant goo
The rrid passion of lust unbridled us two
Ready climax, like animals of the zoo

Chirp, Chirp, Chirp sounds a siren, I’m ready cum
A bright spotlight upon us, Oh Shit I’m not done.
We scramble cover our naked selves with clothes
The cops! we’re busted! We hope no one else knows
What was going on in darkness monts ago
“Is everything alright miss?” the intruder asks
“I’m fine, I’m with my boyfriend.” you reply unmasked
“Well, you two move along now.” And they drive away.
We fix ourselves quickly from interrupted play
desire fulfillnt ends in bitter dismay
We head back her ho and park on the driveway
Where this sry began at the end of the date
Not wanting the mont end we tempted fate
We say our good-byes again by the driveway light
just as started, our lust displayed in full sight,
Alone in the car giving a long kiss, goodnight.
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Tell about how you managed rrid adventures when you didn't have a place c your own.

Do you have a sry about getting caught -- or nearly getting caught while satisfying your carnal desires?

I've always liked that I was young at heart ... but never did I think I would have revisit my teenaged days. Have you?

4 Comments
Find ‘em Hot Leave ‘em Wet!
Posted:Sep 28, 2021 9:29 am
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2021 11:03 am
6991 Views
When I was a , I felt I was being very clever by wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with an image of a firefighters shield and the :
Co-Ed Naked Firefighters
Find ‘em Leave ‘em Wet
Obviously, as a I did not grasp the nuances of implied objectification and hence subtle misogyny that I have come learn about as I have matured. The irony, of course, was that during the year when I would wear that t-shirt, falsely boasting some sort of teenage prowess, the reality was that I didn’t have a girlfriend nor was I finding anyone nor engaging in activity that would leave anyone wet (aside from a water balloon fight on a summer day). However, recently, my conversations with AF.f members has called mind this now-less-than-proud-moment of my adolescence. In the chat room, both men and women were complaining of the frustrations with on-line dating.

The complaints were varied and resonated widely with all members participated in the discussions. “All men want is sex and no relationship”, “I can’t meet a woman”, “I’ve been on this app for ## months and I haven’t gone on a date yet”, “Chatrooms are useless… are no quality people here”, “I’m tired of getting dick pics…where are the respectable men”, “Why do people have make things so complicated … I’m just looking for ….”, “ , is not what I want hear as a man’s opening pitch me.” These quotes are some of the laments I’ve heard from AF.f members.

I have been a member on this app for two months now and have certainly experienced my share of frustrations and surprises in my short time on-line. As in life are all types of people on AF.f: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. these lamenters have some self-reflection do make sure they are attracting the kind of person they are looking for and not. However, are some truths that I have divined though the conversations I’ve had with other members over the past months: 1. Yes most men are interested in sex (surprise, surprise. NOT!). 2. Many women are interested in sex; but not in lieu of a relationship. 3. are countless examples of people getting together on this site eventually whether it is for lust, love or even marriage. Nice guys are plenteously available on the site and are many ways that you can increase your odds at meeting that special someone, Mr. or Ms. Right & RightNow. So why are so many people throwing their hands up in frustration that they can’t meet someone on AF.f?

Although I haven’t met neither Ms. Right or RightNow. I have met a bunch of people and I have increased the likelihood that I will soon start meeting people and going on dates. My secret meeting people: 1. Be very certain of what you’re looking for on the dating app, pursue and be open other possibilities; 2. increase the ways that others can connect with you and get know you; 3. Attend in person events when they present themselves you; and 4. Find the inner courage and confidence be assertive in a polite and respectable manner. So far, by following these four strategies I have met many people in person and even gone on a couple of meet-ups (individual and group). Have I found the holy grail of Mrs. Right or FWB? Not yet. But, my focus is on the long-run … that eventually I will find the person or persons I click with and want have a relationship that meets both of our needs. The challenge of course is getting 2 people (in my case of a different gender) have a meeting of the minds – want the (read similar) things and connect emotionally and physically (and even intellectually and spiritually). A one night stand, FWB, finding a partner or partners is possible, in time, but it takes communication and sheer of contacts determine if you and another want the things and have that chemistry.

One member conducted a poll in the chat room see had met in person and had sex with someone within AF.f. The results were as expected: more females than males had gone out with someone (and had sex with someone) in AF.f; but not by a super large margin. Those have been on the site for longer were more likely have met someone in person and had sexual relations. Dating and relationships are complicated even when trying keep things simple. People change (or don’t), expectations and desires change and feelings change. That’s what makes things complicated … people are complex.



Tell me about what has been your secret success on AF.f.

Has the app has been successful for you in meeting up with someone or not? Are dating apps a waste of time? What is your horror story?

I’d love to hear your story. Inquiring minds would like to know.
6 Comments

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