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| Blogs > rm_meetmeinATL > Sara Leonne- Transvixen |
The culture molds me
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The culture molds me Hi T-girl lovers. I don't mind using the term these days. Hey, I am a chick with a "_______", and always will be. I continue to evolve, shape my own identity and attitudes, having soaked in all the information and feedback I can find. I am probably a little more coarse in my communication with men than I once was. Here's my attitude, based on what I've seen online: Most of the people on Senior Sizzle are here for cyber relations only. I joined to meet people in person, but a lot of the gg's are just lonely women sitting at home and soaking up attention, the men want enough feedback for their senses to jack off, and the transexuals, well, I won't go there. So when men message me, they are in for some blunt cross examination before I waste time providing feedback. These are some samples of an online conversation with me, LOL. Guy says "Got any pics?" I say, "When did I become the online transexual porn photo shop?" Guy says "What are u wearing?", or asks me anything about my clothes..... I say, "are u attracted to my clothes or me?" Guy says, "What do u like?" I say, "What do u want me to like?" I've really just about given up on this site for any meaningful relationships. It's a joke. There are many kinds of personalities among transexuals, but I kind of divide them into a few categories. There are the women: seasoned T-girls, who have been there, done that, and are settled and calm. There are the crossdressers: They only dress in hiding, don't go out in public, or go to drag or gay bars, always with another t-girl for security, and overcompensate their language with expressions like "giggles!", and act like they worship any other transexual. Yeah, I sound like a bitch, but after two years I understand why the seasoned girls are so bitchy. Our womanhood is a reality for us. We don't enjoy petty conversations like "what hormones are u on," or "Oh that dress is lovely, I'm a size nine." We don't seek validation, although we love attention as much as any woman does. And the girls who display an unsure attitude by the way they carry themselves can be more irritating than amusing. I love to help other girls if they ask for advice, but if I can't get them past step one, that is to hold their head up high, and blend into regular society, then the rest of it is pretty useless. I know most girls are self-conscious in public, and avoid the straight world, but the truth is, that those people in the straight world were going through another boring day until we walked into the room. I'm getting my first female state ID this week, in preparation for a flight I'm taking next week to<b> meet a man </font></b>who wants to marry me. As usual, I walked into the driver's license office, asked about the particulars of getting the ID, and didn't act paranoid. And as usual, the people behind the counter didn't panic, treated me courteously, were helpful, and I think very interested to meet a special person. Every time a T-girl splashes on the scene in the real world, she helps change the culture in America. Don't be ashamed of yourself, and the rest of your community won't be either! Love, Sara Leonne Lovedoll  |
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Love your confidence, love your humour, love your comments on the AL........hello lol Live, love and laugh  Sneaks xxx
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4/25/2007 9:40 pm |
Wow this site has really been getting to you. I guess I'll have to change that. And thanks for informing me about the gg's that is kinda why I am giving up on them for a while.
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6/14/2007 2:02 pm |
You Know Lady,You are SO insightful and FULL of Pure wisdom that It Totally blows me away each and every time I read "Anything"you have written !!WOW,what a Woman you are,NOTHING like the 2 relationships I had.Yeah' you ere right when ya' told me "I just got a couple of "bad" ones. BUT,you know what,I'm refuse to lay down and give up,ONE DAY there Will be "that one" as you are! I KNOW it,Too ! I Do have some pics. to send ya' now and will in a day or so,cool?I may be a bit S-l-o-w but I refuse to lie. Take Care and will chat atcha' SOON !!! J.R. in N.C.
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6/18/2007 7:36 am |
1st off, after reading what you write, i feel the need to explain my picture. it is the only one i have of me dressed up AND wearing a mask. i use it b/c i do not wish to expose my true self on-line. that said, i'm new to this AF thing and i'm sorry to read that you've all but given up on this place to meet sincere tg/ts/tv. you sound like you've been down the road and around the block. and i'm sure it wasn't all fun. perhaps you might write your own book on the subject? i am! and i'll buy yours as i have to admit i too tire of the stereotypical bs from the homo-phobes and the 'quickie' bar, bathroom, park, or parking lot sex only types, not to mention the 'give it to me fast and hard' hi-heel wearing masturbaters. i know society sees me as just another ill-minded queer, but i've been tg for as long as i can recall and had no place to vent, let alone experience, my inner longings. it all had to be kept secret. at 10y/o my molestation opened up some very new doors to me. i met myself, and i liked it! words don't exisit to describe my feelings. i knew it was socially wrong but i had no idea that what he did with me was legally wrong until we got caught some 2 years later (he sold some pics he took of us.. to buy me some nice outfits!) he went to prison and i was labeled a victim. i was ordered to pysch treatments that lasted almost 2 years and nothing in me changed!! as i got older i tried a few gay/bi guys at school and it worked for some time (usually around 15 minuets! lol!) and while that was fairly easy and i got a kind of thrill from it, not to mention invited to a lot of parties, i found it not truely fullfiling. i know i was being used but i was able to act on my desires. i'll never forget my molester and i think i may have loved him, so i decided to try being 'me' with older men. what i found is that they're respectful, tolerent, greatful, and they allow me to just be me. they don't make unrealistic demands on me, they have no hard-core perversions for me to perform, and it just goes on naturally be it day to day stuff like shopping or the occasional sexual favor! i like being around them as i can care for their needs and yes, i do 'waite' on them, but i like it that way. maybe its only my inner 'girl' part? it just seems less complicated. true, once in a while i am asked to 'share' myself with a friend but that don't happen every weekend! it's not expected nor does he want to watch. he's just open about it. he tells me he don't 'own' me so it's my choice. friends simply drop by, see me, we talk. if they ask AND it feels good and right for me i try to make them feel good about themselves. lord knows these guys aren't going to pick up any little hottie sluts from the mall!! but they still get sexually excited. i have to laugh b/c the 'knowing' looks i get after we come out from the bedroom are a bit embarassing but also a bit flatering. i actually feel sexy. womanly. wanted and appeciated. guess there's a bit of the tramp in me but it's not like other girls, real or 'corrected', don't have it too! ps; on here i do come off as the total tramp but i have nothing else to do and i'm very much up for finding a good person to talk intellegently with about the whole idea of tg/ts/tv. email me if you like and we can chat about it, ok? hope to hear from ya!
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Checked your blog due to some good AL comments and this post really hit the nail on the head, quoting:- "Most of the people on Senior Sizzle are here for cyber relations only. I joined to meet people in person, but a lot of the gg's are just lonely women sitting at home and soaking up attention, the men want enough feedback for their senses to jack off" There is some genuine people, don't get me wrong. I've got a few great memories of encounters on this site. We are friendly and easy to get on with
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