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Blogs > sysper > bicurious blog |
this may not be for me
this may not be for me sorry if this post has taken a turn towards being depressing. i know this website is for looking for fun and i still believe in fun very much this is the 1st time i've written like this so it feels a bit weird but it's sincere and i don't really know what other type of place i could write something like this. i've had a chance to calm down & i'm thinking in a calmer mind. i've been doing some serious thinking about experementing with bisexuality and having serious second thoughts. not because i'm scared to cross that line or even i'm scared of meeting a psycho lol. i think i'm avoiding women. i'm horney alot of the time but im' a guy lol. actually i'm above the age of 12 and that's how it is with people, i accept that. so i get horney but i can't direct that towards women i'm not real sure why. i'm afraid of them, i don't think i deserve them, i'm mad @ them, i think there mad @ me.......i'm not real sure. i'm pretty confused and frustrated. so i fool myself into being "bicurious" this seems to care of some problems. the sexdrive right in front of me gets redirected to guys who i'm not so afraid around but since i'm only "bicurious" i'm not interested in "dating" a guy. so i put up an add or respond to 1 but for 1 reason or another it never works out. but deep down i know i have no intention of ever meeting a guy for sex so it works out. it seems i made an attempt so i'm "cool" cause i'm "openminded" but nothing came of it so i'm off the hook. cybering & camming is still ok cause it's not real. it's a safe fantasy. it redirects my<b> libido </font></b>& avoids stress caused by thinking about my issues with women. but it's all a lie. it's simply not who i really am. i feel so alone. |
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