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Love It or Leave It
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Love It or Leave It Subject: Blue states to secede.....so there! Dear Red States: We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving. We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin,Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A.) To sum up briefly: - You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states - We get stem cell research and the best beaches. - We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin. - We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. - We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. - We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. - We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs - You get Alabama. - We get 2/3 of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share. - Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, We get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of - 80% of the country's fresh water, - more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, - 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, - 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) - 90% of all cheese, - 90 percent of the high tech industry, - most of the US low sulfur coal, - all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, - all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States you will have to cope with - 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, - 92% of all US mosquitoes, - nearly 100% of the tornadoes, - 90% of the hurricanes, - 99% of all Southern Baptists, - virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. - 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, - 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, - 44% say that evolution is only a theory, - 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and - 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties. We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico. Sincerely, Citizens of the Enlightened States of America I didn't write this but i did laugh when i got it........so for all those states out there that are miffed about the elections and want to leave - just something to think about..... and btw - the best hospitals are near the best schools- so do be careful y'all. You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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LOL I'm okay with all of that, but ya think we can negotiate on the Mexican weed?? Or can we just allow that through our newly opened borders??
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Disclaimer: I am NOT a Republican--nor Democrat, nor Independent... but I am thankful, and... I can't wait! Maybe then you guys will find out... that without the will (and the corresponding effort expended) to make all that shit you listed come together into one cohesive unit of production (via the capitalist pig mentality--red and blue aside), life will certainly come to a screaching halt; after smokin' up all that good weed, of course.  Texas has always held a certain place in my heart.  Solar...
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How Funny! Never ignore those who care for you you will have lost diamonds while you were collecting stones
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This is still as funny to me as the first time I read it. Ahhh, politics. I am so glad the election is over! And you, my sweet, how are those ribs and everything else??? xoxo ps - lots of truth in your comment earlier...thanks for speaking up!  Always tell the truth Use kind words Keep your promises Giggle and laugh Be positive Love one another Always be grateful Forgiveness is mandatory Try new things Say please and thank you Say your prayers Smile ~Author unknown
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All the secession talk is funny. Fortunately, living in the great state of Texas now, if they do something crazy like seceding (which I highly doubt will happen...and no, I didn't sign the petition), at least we'll have: 1. The electric grid 2. The oil 3. Cattle, chickens, and other farm products...as well as crops 4. and MD Anderson, the best cancer hospital in the country 5. oh...and a hell of a lot of millionaires and billionaires I'm gonna go find me one right now.... We'll do just fine Oh, you can keep all the idiots on Capital hill (which means every fricken soul in Congress and the House...what a bunch of maroons!)
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It actually starts to make sense....  Of course, North Dakota does grow a ton of wheat and has a thriving energy industry. And when I was growing up there, people used to say "If ND seceded from the US we'd be the third nuclear power of the world". I think a lot of those missile silos have been decommissioned now, though.   
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Also includes Maine  (where I would move)John Lee Hooker Recommended: [blog lucyjane78]
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Happy Thanksgiving, WE! Another point of view ..... The Democrat Party: Has It Already Seceded? By Kyle Becker on Nov 21, 2012 in featured opinion, 'Politics' Demoralized conservatives, feeling dejected by an inexplicable election loss after being virtually water-boarded by the media for four interminable years, and savaged by an economy decimated by left-wing Treasury raids that make Alaric the Visigoth look like a piker, may be asking themselves the question: Has the Democrat Party finally succeeded? What they should be asking themselves is if the Democrat Party has seceded. This is more than just a stupid pun. One glance at the electoral map above shows that tiny pockets of the country are lording over the rest of us, demanding we fund our own destroyers. Just a hair over half of the electorate is asking the rest to finance things they find morally reprehensible, fiscally unsustainable, and nationally self-destructive or else face the government gulag. Non-coincidentally, just about half of Americans pay exactly zero federal income taxes, and a smidgeon over half vote Democrat as reliably as the lunar cycle that drives the moon-barking mental midgets to howl ever for “more!” In fact, Americans from all 50 states are so infuriated and petrified by the federal government’s hard lurch to the left that hundreds of thousands have signed onto a WhiteHouse.gov petition for their states to secede from the union. Seven states — Texas, Florida, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee and North Carolina — have received more than 25,000 votes each to split the increasingly dismal mise en scene. The petitions were instantly the talk of the town on the left-wing blog cocktail circuit, where snot-nosed, vanity eyeglass-wearing leftists who think “secession” is what someone does when he is addicted to cloves yucked it up before they likely took Princeton prof Peter Singer’s advice and sexually molested some hamsters. The instant rejoinder from the serial abusers in our dysfunctional government relationship is that any such attempts to stop the bullying federal government from being so darned bullying has been null-and-voided by some left-wing lawyers. That’s cute. Y’all on the left want to violate the Constitution whenever you’ins damn well please, but insist that people obey the law whenever you say. Umm, what if people stop playing that game? Whenever the elected President of the United States swears an oath to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution, and then violates it by nationalizing part of GM (Art.I, Sec. 8 on uniform bankruptcy laws), committing troops to extended military combat without a declaration of war or authorization (Art. I, Sec. 8 on war powers), making recess appointments when the Congress is not officially in recess (Art. II, Sec. 2), appointing “czars” not subject to advise and consent (Art. II, Sec I  , violating legal entities’ due process, as with BP (Fifth Amendment), trespassing against unreasonable search and seizure with the TSA (Fourth Amendment), and so on and so on, it’s hard to take his legal decrees seriously.The secession question should therefore be flipped on its head: Has the Democrat Party already seceded from the United States? Because the U.S. government has no force of law except that granted by the Constitution, which the states ratified to bring it into being. America itself was founded by those who broke apart from the mother country of Britain by reasonably citing numerous grievances listed in The Declaration of Independence. A lot of those complaints look laughable in hindsight. Most people suffer through a litany of rights infringements comparable to the Intolerable Acts by breakfast. As the blogger Jon Galt pointed out on his article on secession, the following are Thomas Jefferson’s words as found in the Kentucky Resolutions: “[T]he several states who formed that instrument [the Constitution], being sovereign and independent, have the unquestionable right to judge of its infraction; and that a nullification, by those [states], of all unauthorized acts….is the rightful remedy.” In other words, we the people will tell the federal government when our rights are being violated, and not vice versa. The left can attempt to legalize tyranny, but some of us know the history of the country, and we do not have to give our consent to immoral government acts. Democracy is not the final moral or legal authority; the Constitution, which is based on inalienable individual rights, is. There is a huge difference between morality and legality, as the great writer Frederic Bastiat illuminated (cited at length): "Now since man is naturally inclined to avoid pain — and since labor is pain in itself — it follows that men will resort to plunder whenever plunder is easier than work. History shows this quite clearly. And under these conditions, neither religion nor morality can stop it." When, then, does plunder stop? It stops when it becomes more painful and more dangerous than labor. It is evident, then, that the proper purpose of law is to use the power of its collective force to stop this fatal tendency to plunder instead of to work. All the measures of the law should protect property and punish plunder. What more is Obamacare than an attempt to legalize plunder by charging government with the enforcement of a non-existent right that requires that the entire medical field by usurped, its doctors chained to the government system, and the state’s subjects forced to foot the bill for it? Those who immediately benefit may think they are getting medicine for “free,” but there is always a price to pay for such immoral legislation that enslaves one part of the country and puts it in hock to the rest. People have rights and they should not give the government license to abuse them; even in exchange for “gifts,” which all-too-quickly come to a grinding halt when the economy inevitably and finally collapses. What more is tyranny than the unlimited ability of the U.S. government to tax and to spend? What separates this miserable state of affairs from some of the worst political systems of the twentieth century: communism, socialism, and fascism? Nothing will change until the producers stop paying to support the lives of the parasites via government. When the American people finally “go Galt,” it may take the form of a national revolt, a mass refusal by taxpayers to pay their bills, or even secession. “What happens next?” is a question that should be giving all good Americans serious pause.
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this was supposed to be funny folks if it touched a nerve....maybe y'all need to think about why. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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I've done nothing but think about why... for decades. The only reason I can come up with as to why it might touch nerves is because it's crap--funny, yes--but crap, all the same. Peeps are blowin' out of the blue states and heading into the red states by the droves; and vice versa. They must have valid reasons--right(?); but the idea that those blue states have all those things--independent of red states (or red peeps)--or the counterpart... is why you get red vs blue in the first place. The whole reason why "states" have constitutional rights (Amend. #10) is to prevent conglomeration of "party politics", at all--especially into the hands of the "federalists". But since everyone, on both sides, seems to decry actually using that "now-dead" document, rather than misusing bastardized conceptions of it... to mold it into their own "personal" Treasury withdrawl slip... is it any wonder why there is such a divide? I HATE FREAKIN' PARTY-BASED POLITICS! I hate politics; and I hate parties--ALL OF THEM! But what I hate more than those things... is the fact that virtually the entire population has been deluded into thinking that if they just keep on votin' party-lines, that somehow, like freakin' magic... things will change. Hope and Change? Oh yeah; I gotta get me some-a that stuff--red OR blue don't matter. Hope and Change... ain't NEVER gonna happen. The peeps who own this planet ain't gonna LET IT HAPPEN. EVER! Not without a real good blood-bath. They never have--they never will. So, my suggestion is for people to come to their senses and begin to search out the truth--independent of ANY party. Once they find out they've been deluded, and who's really pullin' the "political" strings, maybe then we ALL might have a shot (slim hope and almost no chance) at coming together to put an end to this crap they call Right and Left--red and blue... and start acting like a country of Americans... instead of a country of slaves who are willing to sell their souls for a freakin' federal block-grant... or a slice of the DoT Highway Trust Fund... or even a lousy chunk of DoA cheese. They might even "vote" their conscience. (That is, if they can find it.) States have rights. Well--they used to, that is... until anti-American national party-politics put a stop to that seeming "particularly unpleasant and detrimental anti-party nonsense". People don't realize (or don't care) that the Bill of Rights was the result of the anti-federalists refusing to sign off on the Constitution... without them "rights" bein' incorporated; by amendment. ( "Anti-federalists". Hmmmm... gotta wonder how they got that name; eh?. ) Of course, the "federalists" have been tryin' for two centuries to reverse that noble gesture; and with their latest parties' push, well, by George... I think they might just have it licked! Commies--ya can live with 'em and ya can't shoot 'em... not without a gun, that is. (That was an anti-federalist idea, too.) Solar...
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WE, lest you think that us corn-cob-pipe-smokin' Ozark Americans don't have a finely developed sense of humor, I thought I'd pass along this joke ..... For those who don't know about history here is a condensed version: Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: 1. Liberals 2. Conservatives. Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement. Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided and became the ultimate "gimme faction". Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat. Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,construction workers, firemen, paramedics, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America .. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing. Here endeth today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before sharing it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off. And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self. I'm going to have a beer.
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WE, pinot grigio and other delicate wines were developed much later in history when people of advanced sensibilities got tired of beer farts and beer belches. Thus beer drinking in polite society was abandoned in favor of drinking wine and champagne cocktails. Cocktail parties became popular amongst liberals living in the northeast. Meanwhile redneck Missourians along with many other midwesterners and southerners continued to gather in smoke-filled taverns and poolrooms to drink cold beer after the day's work had been completed. It was somewhere along this time in history when liberal northeasterners began to distrust conservative midwesterners and vice versa. And it was also at this time when conservative midwesterners and southerners began to plot their eventual secession from the union. This unfortunate political division within our country began when American society began to divide because some did not like beer farts and beer belches!
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i wish the hell we COULD go! you can have all the Blue ghettos...THAT would be funny...
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